The volatility passed but recently had a triggering day, and the anxiety has been ramped up. Like fight or flight without reason. If that weren't enough, it woke up the bladder all over again. I just wish it was urgency. When it overlaps into female sensitivity, it gets very confusing and violating. I don't have the signs of PGAD thank God, my Dr ruled that out too, but God have mercy I wish I didn't have that overlap... I wouldn't wish it on anyone.. But if there's anyone on here with similar things, please tag them here..

It has been fluctuating since and I hate it. No regular person should feel these things outside of having relations. It’s so violating and a horrible anxiety trigger. I feel grateful my mother is supportive and I can share this, but she says even if something spontaneous happens, it’s alright because it’s a normal body function. What!? You mean just doing nothing and that… no, I don’t accept that as a normal thing. It’s not hormones, it’s not pms, it’s not me watching something to cause these sensations. It’s that damn lexapro. It gave me the near same feeling two weeks into taking that poison, and that’s why I had to quit it.

I just feel like the recent anxiety attack backtracked my progress. Having intrusive bad thoughts again. They’re just tiring and annoying.

I cannot decide if physical or mental is worse.

28 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

It has been fluctuating since and I hate it. No regular person should feel these things outside of having relations. It’s so violating and a horrible anxiety trigger. I feel grateful my mother is supportive and I can share this, but she says even if something spontaneous happens, it’s alright because it’s a normal body function. What!? You mean just doing nothing and that… no, I don’t accept that as a normal thing. It’s not hormones, it’s not pms, it’s not me watching something to cause these sensations. It’s that damn lexapro. It gave me the near same feeling two weeks into taking that poison, and that’s why I had to quit it.

I just feel like the recent anxiety attack backtracked my progress. Having intrusive bad thoughts again. They’re just tiring and annoying.

I cannot decide if physical or mental is worse.

I'm sorry @LunaLove96, it's truly wild what these drugs can do to us. I'm constantly shocked by it to be honest. I've had some odd symptoms in that area myself, not exactly what you describe but pretty upsetting as well. You're not alone and you'll get through this.

I think I am in a wave. Terribly scared.

I don't think its just hormones anymore. They may influence it but to hell with this ****! I haven't had pudendal sensitivity/engorgement in months. It's scares the hell out of me to think of something spontaneously happening. The sensitivity, shaking, I hate it. That's my worst problem/thing I hate. And I have to do whats best for me. The only thing that eventually helps is rescue meds. I know the stories and warnings of xanax. But it got me through the worst months ago and I didn't have any troubles with it at all. I thank God He allowed it to work for me. And I am very sorry to anyone that it has hurt. But this is hell. I think its what I call overlap of female nerves and urinary, it all just feels like a rag being wrung out.

F*$^ lexapro.

Mornings and nights are mostly cortisol, if the unrelenting unease every gives up.

No more filters. I will share everything if it helps someone and they can relate. Normal monthly things never scared me like this before. Keeping me doubting if its evil PGAD. Though until this month things had been normal (minus urgency). But I had a stressful event... and since then... kaput.

I don't really reminisce or regret/look back, but man that one regret that always comes to mind is the moment, Oct 10th, 2025 when I took that first hell pill.

I'd been in a season of anxiety for months, maybe worsening, and i said to myself, there's no way it can get worse. Well, there I went, tempting fate. I had done my research on lexapro. So many people helped... sure they gained weight.. apathetic.. but compared to what I was already feeling? But those small population of folks reporting bad things.. it was such a small population. So I took my chances.

And two weeks was all it took to feel something wrong. I genuinely feel like I am one of those people who may needs meds to cope, get through things... Hell, even the PA I saw who gave me the lexapro said she only took it to get her through school. No problem afterwards.

Seemed like a good deal!

I don't normally vent but.. sometimes its needed. I was duped in false hope. We all were. Now we're going through a worser hell than we imagined. God help us..

I always gave myself/others advice to recognize it for what it is... that its a flare.. a wave.. its not you. It's just healing. But I forget how hard it is to remember that advice when you're in the fire. I've walked the depths of hell mentally, physically, emotionally... I had good instances of relief... and they will come again.

28 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

I don't really reminisce or regret/look back, but man that one regret that always comes to mind is the moment, Oct 10th, 2025 when I took that first hell pill.

I'd been in a season of anxiety for months, maybe worsening, and i said to myself, there's no way it can get worse. Well, there I went, tempting fate. I had done my research on lexapro. So many people helped... sure they gained weight.. apathetic.. but compared to what I was already feeling? But those small population of folks reporting bad things.. it was such a small population. So I took my chances.

And two weeks was all it took to feel something wrong. I genuinely feel like I am one of those people who may needs meds to cope, get through things... Hell, even the PA I saw who gave me the lexapro said she only took it to get her through school. No problem afterwards.

Seemed like a good deal!

I don't normally vent but.. sometimes its needed. I was duped in false hope. We all were. Now we're going through a worser hell than we imagined. God help us..

I always gave myself/others advice to recognize it for what it is... that its a flare.. a wave.. its not you. It's just healing. But I forget how hard it is to remember that advice when you're in the fire. I've walked the depths of hell mentally, physically, emotionally... I had good instances of relief... and they will come again.

Amen, sister. Just make sure it's the last regret you have. You'll get through this and soon it will be just a bad memory.

2 hours ago, LunaLove96 said:

I don't really reminisce or regret/look back, but man that one regret that always comes to mind is the moment, Oct 10th, 2025 when I took that first hell pill.

Hi Luna,

We are both short term cases. I understand you very well… I also kept replaying it all in my head wishing for a Time Machine… only recently I am more accepting about what happened.

Crazy how so many of us suffer after only a short time of use.. these drugs are really powerful :(

3 hours ago, Sophia said:

Hi Luna,

We are both short term cases. I understand you very well… I also kept replaying it all in my head wishing for a Time Machine… only recently I am more accepting about what happened.

Crazy how so many of us suffer after only a short time of use.. these drugs are really powerful :(

I think poisons is a more fitting description, at least to us. Am sorry to hear that. I really think the nervous system takes the longest time to heal and unfortunately it’s just so unpredictable. It’s hard to mind these symptoms as the body healing.

Woke up at 2am with anxiety, after the last few mornings of waking up to cortisol. I feel like this recent anxiety attack set me back, reset my progress. This horrid anxious undercurrent keeps following me around, feeling like something is wrong. My bladder and nerves are all tense.. Lord Jesus, I hate this. And the vulnerability, man, I just feel like I can’t get enough comfort.

Today is my 30th (ugh, sounds so weird) birthday, and I knew it’d be unrealistic to expect a miracle and be different. My therapist says positive psychology is important, having a good mindset.. I forgot how difficult that is in survival mode. Like, hey, sympathetic nervous system, you’re not being chased by a bear.. I’m just sitting, trying to relax, and not feel like something is wrong. Lord knows it makes it feel like walking on a tight rope sometimes.

Sending some love @LunaLove96 happy birthday for yesterday. I am sorry things are rough for you atm. Waves can be so discouraging. Of course they are just waves and better times will be coming your way I have no doubt at all. xxx

Happy belated birthday @LunaLove96! As rough as your 30th year was, I think it's likely that your 31st year will be better. One day at a time.