Great news! Sending you positive thoughts for your symptoms to decrease!

Thank you @mstimc60

I recognize everything catastrophizes at times.. but today feels like an accumulation. Does anyone else wonder or just feel like they’re dying? Or they’re losing it some? Like, nothing or no one can help me with this. There is no cure but waiting it out, and right now my supply of optimism and encouragement has gone dry. Holy hell I am just.. not in a good place right now.

1 minute ago, LunaLove96 said:

Thank you @mstimc60

I recognize everything catastrophizes at times.. but today feels like an accumulation. Does anyone else wonder or just feel like they’re dying? Or they’re losing it some? Like, nothing or no one can help me with this. There is no cure but waiting it out, and right now my supply of optimism and encouragement has gone dry. Holy hell I am just.. not in a good place right now.

Oh for sure! I think even "normal" people get these feelings now and then. You know they're only thoughts and don't have any more power than what we give them. You'll hit another window soon!

59 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

I recognize everything catastrophizes at times.. but today feels like an accumulation. Does anyone else wonder or just feel like they’re dying? Or they’re losing it some? Like, nothing or no one can help me with this. There is no cure but waiting it out, and right now my supply of optimism and encouragement has gone dry. Holy hell I am just.. not in a good place right now.

So sorry you’re in a rough place @LunaLove96. I’ve definitely felt like I’m losing my mind at times. It’s really hard to accept that the only solution is time, especially when we’re used to being told we can take a pill to feel better. I know it feels impossible to imagine feeling good again when you’re in the thick of it, but the better days will come and they’re worth waiting for 💜

1 hour ago, LunaLove96 said:

Thank you @mstimc60

I recognize everything catastrophizes at times.. but today feels like an accumulation. Does anyone else wonder or just feel like they’re dying? Or they’re losing it some? Like, nothing or no one can help me with this. There is no cure but waiting it out, and right now my supply of optimism and encouragement has gone dry. Holy hell I am just.. not in a good place right now.

This slow and painful feeling of dying has been stubbornly hanging over me for a month now so I understand you well but I refuse to let it take away my hope even though it could be very challenging, I keep reminding myself that this horror is a chemical eruption that will eventually balance out.

Such a cruel journey but there is a way out, keep surviving and hoping @LunaLove96 you will get there.

Wishing you easier days soon and sending much strength and healing xx

Edited June 19Jun 19 by Fullhealing

14 hours ago, LunaLove96 said:

Good news, everything came back normal. It wasn’t as bad as anxiety is always saying it is. Turns out it’s just residual lingering stuff from the flu. The reassurance helped a lot. But me having to leave early ruffled a few feathers at my work, and I’m realizing I’m giving way too much thought and stress to cliquey toxic people who would likely replace me in a week anyway. If there’s one thing about anxiety, it will make you fret about everything and concoct the worst case scenario’s. So, aside from the undercurrent of anxiety (and the latest job searches..), it’s been iffy lately. A dirty window, as they call it? I’m trying to avoid hasty decisions and anything rash… Best way to describe it, just unsettled. Trying to lay low, even if anxiety wants to over analyze.

Good to hear. I totally agree about toxic people, I've learned to switch my mind off from these folk, if WD teaches us anything, it's we don't need to feed our brains with worrying about what people do or don't think about us. Make a decision that feels good and go with that and let the rest go.

Thank you all..

To surmise, I think I’d forgotten the hell that is a wave. I will remember these thoughtful comments for support ❤️

38 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

Thank you all..

To surmise, I think I’d forgotten the hell that is a wave. I will remember these thoughtful comments for support ❤️

To be able to say that is progress, even if things get difficult again.

To anyone following this I thought I’d share real quick.

My mom has been on lexapro 20+ years and has no intention of stopping. Despite that, she often tries to combat the apathy that comes from it. Well, today, she found a supplement that “makes me feel like myself again”. MCT oil is worth looking into for anyone with emotional numbness. She’s always used B vitamins to “get herself going” but they don’t last long. She used the oil in some coffee and said within half an hour she had good energy and positive emotions. I haven’t done much research on this supplement but if it helps someone, it’s worth putting out there.

I do like natural supplements but I still advise caution for anyone with a sensitized system.

Update: low level anxiety lately with occasional flares. I know i mentioned work stress, and honestly the lack of clarity im being given has anxiety and paranoia filling in the gaps. Sometimes I feel these things so intensely, then later I reflect back like why did that make me so upset? ... I dont like feeling like im not fully rational. I mean it doesn't reach the surface, but inside is haywire sometimes. Maybe I just need to get away from the toxicity. Besides that, I cant stand the fake ness of coworkers and constant bragging of doctors. "OH yes all my children just graduated law, med, PT school etc and im going to Europe again-" and I cant even plan anything without anxiety voicing itself. At the point I know im bitter, but so easily aggravated! It's like rippling water crashing on a beach.. Trying very hard lately to take a step back and just breathe.. recognize it for what it is.. But God its hard sometimes...

Edit: and im not trying to be ungrateful because I do reflect a lot on my health and how far I've come. I mean for work I see many people in tears and terrible pain, who am I to complain? But then I remember... different recovery for everyone.. mine is just invisible.

Edited June 24Jun 24 by LunaLove96

7 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

Update: low level anxiety lately with occasional flares. I know i mentioned work stress, and honestly the lack of clarity im being given has anxiety and paranoia filling in the gaps. Sometimes I feel these things so intensely, then later I reflect back like why did that make me so upset? ... I dont like feeling like im not fully rational. I mean it doesn't reach the surface, but inside is haywire sometimes. Maybe I just need to get away from the toxicity. Besides that, I cant stand the fake ness of coworkers and constant bragging of doctors. "OH yes all my children just graduated law, med, PT school etc and im going to Europe again-" and I cant even plan anything without anxiety voicing itself. At the point I know im bitter, but so easily aggravated! It's like rippling water crashing on a beach.. Trying very hard lately to take a step back and just breathe.. recognize it for what it is.. But God its hard sometimes..

These are all super common during WD. I really struggled with impostor syndrome at work, convinced my next mistake would get me fired. In reality, I got a performance bonus while I was in the worst of WD. There is a huge difference between what our anxiety is telling us and what really is.

And its natural to feel some resentment of others who seem "normal" while we struggle through each day. One thing I learned is that a lot, maybe even most, people have private struggles we never see. I must admit I don't miss the posturing and office politics, but you get that everywhere. Sometimes, you just need to put your head down and deal with what happens from one day to the next. But you can do it!

True @mstimc60 . I think tolerance just depends on whatever flare may be happening..

Also, rare symptom, but one that is definite right now I’d like to ask everyone on. I think I may be feeling some underlying anxiety, but has it ever gave anyone shortness of breath? Like the chest feels tight and almost painful? I don’t have asthma but I’m overly watching my breathing to get deep breaths. Almost like I ran too hard and the chest hurts, to an extent. It’s very concerning

Oh yes. I used to feel sudden a tightness in my chest and my breathing would get more shallow and speed up. Just as you describe, like I ran up a flight of stairs. Once I decided to let it pass, it drifted away.

Oof, yea Im trying not to consciously think of it. When I do the cycle repeats and feeds the anxiety. Blegh. I'll try to wait it out.

I remember a few years ago the anxiety was so terrible and my throat felt tight, I lost like 20lbs from dysphagia and couldn't stand the slightest touch on my neck. I think this is more unpleasant.. but rationalizing always helps. Anxiety causes muscle tightness, and that can make anyone paranoid when its around the lungs.

I swear there's no rhyme or reason to what one may feel 🫣

A couple of months ago I was getting discomfort on the left side of my upper chest. I was pretty sure I pulled a muscle working out but then I found myself checking my heart rate when I was walking uphill, etc. Then I reminded myself I just had my annual physical in January and everything was fine. Of course, the more I thought about it the more noticeable it was till I gave myself a reality check. Now its gone and I'm back to doing a lighter workout. The mind is powerful and can manifest a lot of different physical symptoms. It sucks!

On 6/28/2026 at 12:38 AM, LunaLove96 said:

Also, rare symptom, but one that is definite right now I’d like to ask everyone on. I think I may be feeling some underlying anxiety, but has it ever gave anyone shortness of breath? Like the chest feels tight and almost painful? I don’t have asthma but I’m overly watching my breathing to get deep breaths. Almost like I ran too hard and the chest hurts, to an extent. It’s very concerning

Ive had a mild version of this recently, like anxiety but just physcical in my chest above my rib cage.

Yes, it is unpleasant! Sometimes instead of tightness it can be a ticklish discomfort too.

Small update: days are relatively easier than nightly lately due to insomnia. I think it’s the fight or flight keeping me up. Best described as 3/4 lights are off to power down to sleep, but that last one.. a straggler. I’ve been very sparing with Xanax which I’m pleased with, only as a last resort. Fluctuating anxiety with some intrusive, sticky thoughts lately. I’ll never know why it likes to focus on unpleasant memories. Shudder. Anyway, bladder symptoms have been apparent, but only as I’m learning new triggers. It’s a greater improvement than it was constantly.

I think I’ve had a bit much on my mind lately, and am doing my best to simplify and keep the peace. Not exactly where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be.

Short update: left my job. So many worries with that place to the point I was dreaming of stressful encounters with those people. Ugh.

But I have something new lined up that is a significantly less patient load, although it will just be me and the Dr I work for. I pray all goes well. Thank y’all for following and the continued kind support.

9 minutes ago, LunaLove96 said:

Short update: left my job. So many worries with that place to the point I was dreaming of stressful encounters with those people. Ugh.

But I have something new lined up that is a significantly less patient load, although it will just be me and the Dr I work for. I pray all goes well. Thank y’all for following and the continued kind support.

Sounds like a good move. And it may be a lot less stressful--hoping and praying it goes well for you!

10 hours ago, LunaLove96 said:

Short update: left my job. So many worries with that place to the point I was dreaming of stressful encounters with those people. Ugh.

But I have something new lined up that is a significantly less patient load, although it will just be me and the Dr I work for. I pray all goes well. Thank y’all for following and the continued kind support.

I think this is a great move, we need minimal stress in wd, I hope the new position is nice and low key and works out for you. xxx

Update: I’m not sure if it’s considered a wave, maybe a version of one compared to the earlier severe ones, but the past week or so has been noticeably different. More looping thoughts, nights have been hellish with cortisol and nausea. Some times during the day I feel better, but.. not like myself. It’s hard to describe. Maybe it’s an anxiety undercurrent. Also, I’ve been having some mild urgency/bladder stuff again. To an extent I could avoid certain foods for the rest of my life if I needed to, but this just feels random… again. The last bladder/nerve sensitivity thing lasted months with no cause… I pray I’m just overlooking something I ate.

And to be completely transparent this thing is like Russian roulette if you’re a female before the change. The swing of estrogen and progesterone can either be like any other day… or it’s a gas dump on this whole thing. 🫠 Dear lord have mercy, natural hellish woman fury on top of this.. Oh Lord… Then the hormones try to bounce back to normal… I would go eat a tub of ice cream and cry. Alas… Dairy is a no-no nowadays. (At least the daytime is better for me I can semi joke/mourn this nonsense).

I digress. I’ll be doing my best to lay low, beat this ridiculous heat wave, and watch a cozy livestream of the fireworks tomorrow.

Edited July 3Jul 3 by LunaLove96

1 minute ago, LunaLove96 said:

Update: I’m not sure if it’s considered a wave, maybe a version of one compared to the earlier severe ones, but the past week or so has been noticeably different. More looping thoughts, nights have been hellish with cortisol and nausea. Some times during the day I feel better, but.. not like myself. It’s hard to describe. Maybe it’s an anxiety undercurrent. Also, I’ve been having some mild urgency/bladder stuff again. To an extent I could avoid certain foods for the rest of my life if I needed to, but this just feels random… again. The last bladder/nerve sensitivity thing lasted months with no cause… I pray I’m just overlooking something I ate.

And to be completely transparent this thing is like Russian roulette if you’re a female before the change. The swing of estrogen and progesterone can either be like any other day… or it’s a gas dump on this whole thing. 🫠 Dear lord have mercy, natural hellish woman fury on top of this.. Oh Lord… Then the hormones try to bounce back to normal… I would go eat a tub of ice cream and cry. Alas… Dairy is a no-no nowadays. (At least the daytime is better for me I can semi joke/mourn this nonsense).

I digress. I’ll be doing my best to lay low, beat this ridiculous heat wave, and watch a cozy livestream of the fireworks tomorrow.

I'm here too. Some days during the day I might feel "better" as in I can maybe do a simple chore, but completely disconnected to who I am in personality or mood, looping over every single disease or problem I might have. Then night comes and out of nowhere while playing a game for example, suddenly feel my entire GI get tight, nausea, face gets warm, headaches, adrenaline/cortisol dumps with racing heart... And then the urgency to pee whenever I move despite having nothing. It's the gift that keeps on giving. 😅

9 hours ago, ALonelySoul12 said:

I'm here too. Some days during the day I might feel "better" as in I can maybe do a simple chore, but completely disconnected to who I am in personality or mood, looping over every single disease or problem I might have. Then night comes and out of nowhere while playing a game for example, suddenly feel my entire GI get tight, nausea, face gets warm, headaches, adrenaline/cortisol dumps with racing heart... And then the urgency to pee whenever I move despite having nothing. It's the gift that keeps on giving. 😅

I’d like a refund on the gift then!

It’s strange. Once the morning cortisol passed earlier I was alright for the most part. Then at sunset I feel the unease turn on like a switch. Just a vague sense of something being wrong. I’ve always said on here to take a step back out of whatever you feel and recognize it for what it is. Gives it some perspective, some control that I’ve been through this before, I know what this is. But perspective only helps so much and doesn’t actually stop the hellish feelings. I wish it was just urgency. Lexapro has made me well aware of the pudendal nerve and where it goes. Not pgad but sheesh if it isn’t invasive sometimes. Then again, I suppose everyone of us on here is dealing with their own invasive problems!

Hey LunaLove96,

I also tried Lexapro at a low dose (5 mg). I’ve had a variety of symptoms, but I relate to your awareness “down there”. I believe it was week 2-3 for me where there was just this constant tingling. I was aware of it 24/7 and it was beyond me. Then I had bladder problems as well that I believe I am recovering from. I lost the urgency/ability to control/“feel” it, but it’s getting better slowly and surely. I also deal with random episodes of tinnitus (which I believe you mentioned). For some reason, evenings/nights are also when I get some random intense flushes of symptoms. I do not think we will be the exception to healing. I believe and trust that we are healing, and that healing is taking place even when we don’t consciously observe it (as much as we want to). We are strong for trying to make the best out of something we never asked for, for trying to be strong in ways we never expected, and for extending what strength we have left to uplift others.

Update: the cortisol bit had subsided until today, but at least now due to stressful circumstances. Bladder/nerve related things have fluctuated throughout the day, doing my best to avoid triggers. It’s still highly unpleasant sensitivity. On the other hand, emotional volatility has surfaced again due to stressful events. Just some intrusive thoughts and then later I’m startled by it. Like I can’t believe that even came to mind… I had to take my own advice this morning. Take a step back, recognize it for what it is, relax until it passes. This crap always passes.