7 minutes ago, Emsy said:

Beautiful people I’m back after a break. I’m so sorry to have abandoned you all but things got really tough for me in Feb and into March and I just needed to hunker down and survive.

I seem to have had a breakthrough and so thought it would be good to update things to bring a little hope.

Ive been in a window now for almost 4 weeks. It feels like it literally came overnight.

After WD symptoms starting early December and getting significantly worse they seemed to peak in February and into early March.

I was barely leaving the house, was off sick from work, managing a ten minute walk if I could, forcing myself to eat through nausea,  not sleeping, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, couldn’t do my own shopping, couldn’t see friends, couldn’t listen to music or watch tv, early morning terror and cortisol that lasted until early evening, weird internal tremors and buzzing, depression. I was terrified.

I would occasionally get a day where things would ease then I’d be thrown back into the pit the day after.

 

Then on the 15th March I went from a 0/2 out of 10 in how well I felt to a 5.

The next day I was back at a 2 and my lovely neighbours had to drop my car off for it’s mot and service for me, so usual windows and waves pattern, but the day after I was back at a 5 again!

This felt different and I couldn’t put my finger on it but I felt hope for the first time in 3.5 months. It felt ‘clean’ not like the dirty feeling windows I’d had previously.

Since then it’s held between a 4 and some days a 7 and I’ve been able to do my own grocery shopping, my appetite is back and no nausea, I’m sleeping better (still not great but better), I have some anxiety in the morning but it passes once I’m up and about and I’m not getting the early waking and terror and nightmares are hardly happening.

intrusive thoughts gone and I feel mostly flat but content enough with actual moments of occasional joy and I’ve had a couple of good cries over it all. Tuesday I managed to walk almost 4 miles which feels like massive progress.

My biggest symptoms now are extreme fatigue, intermittent insomnia, tinnitus and anxiety is on a hair trigger but this all feels so much more manageable.

Im still holding my dose and am in no rush to restart my taper. I want to be a solid and consistent 6/7 before I move on especially as I’m hoping to phase back to work in a weeks time.

Im still waiting for the shoe to drop if I’m honest as it feels too good to be true but nearly 4 weeks must be a good sign?

Sending love and hugs to all who need it. I know some of you are suffering terribly and time and endurance is the only option  🤗 🥰

@Emsy I was thinking about asking how you were as well! I’m so pleased to see this. You are most certainly stabilising. As you know, windows and waves can still happen but get to a good 7/10+, or 1-3/10 on the severity scale which is low, before tapering. I would hold here for a good few months perhaps. See how you go. I think a hold through some more stable periods is just what you need. Great news. I’m so pleased. Made my day 😀

Hey Emsy!

 

great to see that you’re feeing better. I’ve been reading along. Fellow rock climber here but havent been able to go for a long while now 😞 something about it really kicks things into high gear. Any tips or things you do that help you stay on it without triggering a big wave?

This is wonderful news!! 
And it gives me hope

 

I’m so so happy for you 💗💗

19 minutes ago, Chippy said:

@Emsy I was thinking about asking how you were as well! I’m so pleased to see this. You are most certainly stabilising. As you know, windows and waves can still happen but get to a good 7/10+, or 1-3/10 on the severity scale which is low, before tapering. I would hold here for a good few months perhaps. See how you go. I think a hold through some more stable periods is just what you need. Great news. I’m so pleased. Made my day 😀

Thanks Chippy, you were all in my thoughts and I did sneak the odd peak here and there to see how everyone was doing xx

6 minutes ago, Talltreescoldseas said:

Hey Emsy!

 

great to see that you’re feeing better. I’ve been reading along. Fellow rock climber here but havent been able to go for a long while now 😞 something about it really kicks things into high gear. Any tips or things you do that help you stay on it without triggering a big wave?

Hey! I’m desperate to get back to climbing, especially as the weather is warming up! I’m tentatively meeting a friend in a week at my local climbing wall for a short and very easy session (it’s been 4 months since I’ve climbed!) No leading, no overhangs, no crimps, just nice easy juggy top roping and see how I go. Part of what I love about climbing is challenging my fear but I think I’ll leave that alone for now as I’m worried the adrenaline will trigger a wave.

8 minutes ago, Finni said:

This is wonderful news!! 
And it gives me hope

 

I’m so so happy for you 💗💗

Dear @Finni I know you are well and truly in the thick of it right now and I’m sending you the biggest hug my love. Hold tight, hang firm, let what needs to be, be and you will come through this. Sending you love and strength xx

Just now, Emsy said:

Dear @Finni I know you are well and truly in the thick of it right now and I’m sending you the biggest hug my love. Hold tight, hang firm, let what needs to be, be and you will come through this. Sending you love and strength xx

Thank you so much!

 

We never even knew that our bodies could do this. 
 

I will take that hug and give you a big tight squeeze back - across the pond 💗

 

Enjoy the ease that you can access in your body now. 

Be gentle ✨✨

17 minutes ago, Emsy said:

Thanks Chippy, you were all in my thoughts and I did sneak the odd peak here and there to see how everyone was doing xx

Bless you. Glad you are seeing some significant improvement. 😀

Did you have increased balance issues or vestibular issues before you started to stabilize?

On 4/10/2026 at 11:04 PM, Emsy said:

Beautiful people I’m back after a break. I’m so sorry to have abandoned you all but things got really tough for me in Feb and into March and I just needed to hunker down and survive.

I seem to have had a breakthrough and so thought it would be good to update things to bring a little hope.

Ive been in a window now for almost 4 weeks. It feels like it literally came overnight.

After WD symptoms starting early December and getting significantly worse they seemed to peak in February and into early March.

I was barely leaving the house, was off sick from work, managing a ten minute walk if I could, forcing myself to eat through nausea,  not sleeping, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, couldn’t do my own shopping, couldn’t see friends, couldn’t listen to music or watch tv, early morning terror and cortisol that lasted until early evening, weird internal tremors and buzzing, depression. I was terrified.

I would occasionally get a day where things would ease then I’d be thrown back into the pit the day after.

 

Then on the 15th March I went from a 0/2 out of 10 in how well I felt to a 5.

The next day I was back at a 2 and my lovely neighbours had to drop my car off for it’s mot and service for me, so usual windows and waves pattern, but the day after I was back at a 5 again!

This felt different and I couldn’t put my finger on it but I felt hope for the first time in 3.5 months. It felt ‘clean’ not like the dirty feeling windows I’d had previously.

Since then it’s held between a 4 and some days a 7 and I’ve been able to do my own grocery shopping, my appetite is back and no nausea, I’m sleeping better (still not great but better), I have some anxiety in the morning but it passes once I’m up and about and I’m not getting the early waking and terror and nightmares are hardly happening.

intrusive thoughts gone and I feel mostly flat but content enough with actual moments of occasional joy and I’ve had a couple of good cries over it all. Tuesday I managed to walk almost 4 miles which feels like massive progress.

My biggest symptoms now are extreme fatigue, intermittent insomnia, tinnitus and anxiety is on a hair trigger but this all feels so much more manageable.

Im still holding my dose and am in no rush to restart my taper. I want to be a solid and consistent 6/7 before I move on especially as I’m hoping to phase back to work in a weeks time.

Im still waiting for the shoe to drop if I’m honest as it feels too good to be true but nearly 4 weeks must be a good sign?

Sending love and hugs to all who need it. I know some of you are suffering terribly and time and endurance is the only option  🤗 🥰

Thank you @Emsy, this gives me hope. 

 

@Emsy I'm glad to hear that you've been doing better.

 

I agree that this is a good sign.

How are you, Emsy? ☀️

Hey all, haven’t updated in a long time, have good news and bad news and wanted to update with something that’s thrown a spanner in the works to make sure others don’t make the same mistake.

I had an improving 10 week window - was back out walking and climbing and in the office, pushing myself a bit too hard so crashed 5 weeks ago but nowhere near as bad a wave as during my 3.5 month wave before the window.

I did however end up with gastritis again which I’ve successfully treated with omeprazole numerous times, including during my taper and the GP said it’s fine with mirtazapine.

Well the last few days I had a sudden uptick in symptoms, like back to tie bad wave symptoms from before my 10 week window and 6 days after I’d started omeprazole and so I did some research and turns out omeprazole blocks a liver enzyme that metabolises and flushes out mirtazapine and so increases your dose by 15-30% 😳

Not a problem on a full dose in a stable nervous system but on a sensitised one on a 9 month hold of 1.2mg, chaos!

I only found out this afternoon so from tomorrow no more omeprazole and pray to god as the liver enzymes get made again and my mirtazapine levels drop back to before I stabilise again.

It’s even worse for the SSRIs and can impact escitalopram by 50-120% of dose!!!

Can’t believe I’ve done this to myself feel so stupid. I’ve not used it for 6 months and wasn’t happy about taking it again but thought a 2 week course couldn’t hurt having used it with mirtazapine previously.

Still at least I know why I feel so shocking again 😭

Hugs to all who need it, I know some of you are suffering terribly but my window came literally 3 weeks after my symptoms were at their worst xx

Edited July 4Jul 4 by Emsy

@Emsy I am so heartened by your progress it is amazing to see how powerful the healing process of the body is. Truly amazing. It is why time really is our friend, it is busy doing all sorts of complex things that neither us or doctors understand. We just have to trust it. :)

Unfortunately PPIs and all sort of other drugs effect us in WD. Doctors have litterally no idea tbh, particualy about WD. Our advice here is to avoid anything that is not natural including most if not all supplements. Sometimes you have no choice but most of the time our bodies can work these things out for us anyway, and adding in additional substances often makes all this worse.

Your system is amazing and it will sort this all out for you!

@Emsy Can I ask you something about omeprazole? You mentioned you've been taking it for gastritis, but did you notice any other benefits from taking it? Did you notice anything besides a reduction in the burning sensation? Did you noticed any negative effects like bloating or agitation?

@The Dust ive used it very successfully with no ill effects on and off for years and whilst it has destabilised me on this occasion it did help the gastritis a lot. Lansoprazole is also a PPI and has much less effect on the liver enzymes used for metabolism of antidepressants from what I’ve read but from my experience this week I’d avoid it if you are in the middle of tapering as when you start/stop it you’re potentially messing with with your dose in effect

@Emsy Thanks. Just something else... Has your gastroenterologist ever checked if your stomach lining became less inflamed after taking omeprazole? Did you have any endoscopy after treatment?

@The Dust ive never had an endoscopy my GP is threatening to refer me for one but I can’t handle it right now. My gastritis is always stress triggered I know that much and once I’m not stressing and it’s healed it stays away unless I’m stressed again.

22 minutes ago, Emsy said:

@The Dust ive never had an endoscopy my GP is threatening to refer me for one but I can’t handle it right now. My gastritis is always stress triggered I know that much and once I’m not stressing and it’s healed it stays away unless I’m stressed again.

I was unspecific, sorry. I mean gastroscopy, but you knew what I was thinking. It's a bit strange that he prescribed you omeprazole and said later that your gastritis was healed without a single gastroscopy...

On the other hand, yeah, if you have burns, it must me gastritis, but it's hard to conclude that it's healed without it...

Edited July 5Jul 5 by The Dust

4 hours ago, Emsy said:

@The Dust ive never had an endoscopy my GP is threatening to refer me for one but I can’t handle it right now. My gastritis is always stress triggered I know that much and once I’m not stressing and it’s healed it stays away unless I’m stressed again.

Emsy, just reading through your thread and see you were in quite the long wave, but I see you had a amazing 10 week window that is truly amazing, I am filled with such joy for you. I see you recently went back into a brief wave because of the Omeprazole. I'm so sorry you have to go through that. As others have mentioned it is best to avoid any supplements/ meds that can react or upset our symptoms at the moment. You say that stress triggers your gastritis, and then settles when not stressed, that is very common for a lot of us in recovery. But use your better judgment. Your Doctor can refer you but doesn't necessarily mean you have to go. Just mean go in your own time or see how things are and your system settles. Listen to your body. In my experience early on in recovery I would go in to get things checked out it always came back ok. Just my mind overanalyzing which would make it worse. But by all means if you feel you need to get it checked out do so. Our bodies are amazing at healing and that is exactly what is happening. Hope things settle and you have another window soon. Hugs xxx Bernadette

22 hours ago, Emsy said:

Hey all, haven’t updated in a long time, have good news and bad news and wanted to update with something that’s thrown a spanner in the works to make sure others don’t make the same mistake.

I had an improving 10 week window - was back out walking and climbing and in the office, pushing myself a bit too hard so crashed 5 weeks ago but nowhere near as bad a wave as during my 3.5 month wave before the window.

I did however end up with gastritis again which I’ve successfully treated with omeprazole numerous times, including during my taper and the GP said it’s fine with mirtazapine.

Well the last few days I had a sudden uptick in symptoms, like back to tie bad wave symptoms from before my 10 week window and 6 days after I’d started omeprazole and so I did some research and turns out omeprazole blocks a liver enzyme that metabolises and flushes out mirtazapine and so increases your dose by 15-30% 😳

Not a problem on a full dose in a stable nervous system but on a sensitised one on a 9 month hold of 1.2mg, chaos!

I only found out this afternoon so from tomorrow no more omeprazole and pray to god as the liver enzymes get made again and my mirtazapine levels drop back to before I stabilise again.

It’s even worse for the SSRIs and can impact escitalopram by 50-120% of dose!!!

Can’t believe I’ve done this to myself feel so stupid. I’ve not used it for 6 months and wasn’t happy about taking it again but thought a 2 week course couldn’t hurt having used it with mirtazapine previously.

Still at least I know why I feel so shocking again 😭

Hugs to all who need it, I know some of you are suffering terribly but my window came literally 3 weeks after my symptoms were at their worst xx

Hugs back to you!

You’ll get through this and be back climbing 🌿☀️

What an amazing stabilization you were having! Your body is working it out again.

Sadly I’m in a really bad way again. I thought the wave would settle out once the omeprazole was out of my system and my mirt levels were back to normal but it just got worse and now I’m back to where I was in February.

The terror is back and lasts all day, can’t eat, nausea, really loud tinnitus, chemical feeling in my head, same symptoms as the worst of it earlier this year and I’m so scared.

I was getting so much better and stronger in April/May and even though I went into a wave early June it was manageable and I was feeling positive that I’d come out of it.

This feels like being right back at the beginning again and I’m so battle weary as I know so many of you are.

Sending hugs to those who need one x

Edited July 17Jul 17 by Emsy

34 minutes ago, Emsy said:

Sadly I’m in a really bad way again. I thought the wave would settle out once the omeprazole was out of my system and my mirt levels were back to normal but it just got worse and now I’m back to where I was in February.

The terror is back and lasts all day, can’t eat, nausea, really loud tinnitus, chemical feeling in my head, same symptoms as the worst of it earlier this year and I’m so scared.

I was getting so much better and stronger in April/May and even though I went into a wave early June it was manageable and I was feeling positive that I’d come out of it.

This feels like being right back at the beginning again and I’m so battle weary as I know so many of you are.

Sending hugs to those who need one x

So sorry @Emsy. I know it feels horrible to be back in a wave, but your progress isn't lost! Stay in the fight and you'll get back to that lovely window. We're here for you.

I saw in your thread that you're a climber, I rock climb too 😊. I haven't been climbing outside much since all this started for me, but I'm really lucky to still be able to climb in the gym pretty regularly. If that's something you love, maybe keep it in mind as something you can do again as soon as this nasty wave has passed 💜.

1 hour ago, Emsy said:

Sadly I’m in a really bad way again. I thought the wave would settle out once the omeprazole was out of my system and my mirt levels were back to normal but it just got worse and now I’m back to where I was in February.

The terror is back and lasts all day, can’t eat, nausea, really loud tinnitus, chemical feeling in my head, same symptoms as the worst of it earlier this year and I’m so scared.

I was getting so much better and stronger in April/May and even though I went into a wave early June it was manageable and I was feeling positive that I’d come out of it.

This feels like being right back at the beginning again and I’m so battle weary as I know so many of you are.

Sending hugs to those who need one x

So sorry @Emsy must be so hard to bear a wave after significant relief.

Truly cruel minefield we're all walking through, I wish there was a road with markings so we would know what to avoid and I wish I could make it somehow easier for you.

Please hang in there, temporary even if it feels the opposite, the bright window you experienced will return much longer and brighter.

Much strength and healing your way!

Thank you @SarahMc 🥰

Yes I haven’t climbed outdoors since the end of last September! I was really getting some trad leading under my belt too.

I have been in the climbing gym this year during my window which felt so good. I was aware of how out of condition I’d got but I was really enjoying myself!

You’re right, I’ll be back there, the withdrawal brain loves to tell us otherwise.

Thanks for the reminder