@Chippy Probably already messed up.. feel worse chest tightness today than I have been

I drop klonopin to .125mg and lex to 1.25mg

I’m desperate man. I really don’t know how this is WD/kindling related because it feels cardiac

16 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy @LostinCanada

I swear idk if this is some symptom related to the medicine.. i’ve had this off feeling like a small squeezing all the time.. why tf is it like this

Health anxiety is really common as a withdrawal symptom. It is important to control thinking and distract/redirect your thoughts. Please get a book on CBT from Amazon or use what is available on here to help.

17 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy Probably already messed up.. feel worse chest tightness today than I have been

I drop klonopin to .125mg and lex to 1.25mg

I’m desperate man. I really don’t know how this is WD/kindling related because it feels cardiac

This is too large drops of two drugs at the same time and we have advised against this many times. I certainly wouldn't move your doses any further until things have settled down for you. This will likley take some time. WD can feel very physical.

@Chippy

How sure are you this is kindling and withdrawal?

Also I don’t think it’s anxiety.. I think I may get anxious in response to not finding out how to fix it but the root of it isn’t anxiety and I know it

20 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

Also I don’t think it’s anxiety.. I think I may get anxious in response to not finding out how to fix it but the root of it isn’t anxiety and I know it

Kindling/withdrawal can cause many different physical symptoms including chest tightness, pounding heart, etc, that aren't necessarily related to psychological anxiety. I've had mild versions of these symptoms myself, and you've already heard from others who have experienced more severe versions.

How do you fix kindling?

@Rekonum

As distressed as I am from medication changes and withdrawal, I never think of myself as experiencing anxiety. It’s not psychological for me until my body starts pumping out overwhelming symptoms - then the mind gets involved. But when my body is calmer, my mind feels mostly like true me.

@SarahMc @Finni I truthfully don’t know I can live like this, nor do I think I’ll get better…

There have been 0 signs of stabilization.. I’m in a bed 24/7 contemplating if I should go to ER or not every minute of every day

6 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@SarahMc @Finni I truthfully don’t know I can live like this, nor do I think I’ll get better…

There have been 0 signs of stabilization.. I’m in a bed 24/7 contemplating if I should go to ER or not every minute of every day

Stabilization takes weeks to months of not fiddling around with dosages.

Truly sorry ❤️

It’s hard to comprehend the power of these meds until you’ve experienced it.

Edited September 20Sep 20 by Finni

@Rekonum Have your symptons changed at all? Or are they exactly the same regardless of what doses yyou been on?

6 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@SarahMc @Finni I truthfully don’t know I can live like this, nor do I think I’ll get better…

There have been 0 signs of stabilization.. I’m in a bed 24/7 contemplating if I should go to ER or not every minute of every day

You WILL get better, but you need to not make big cuts to your drugs out of fear and just give your nervous system some real time to heal and find that stability. As Chippy said above, don't move your doses anymore until things have settled down. But you have to accept that this can take quite a bit of time -- it certainly will not happen in a matter of days. For some people the process of stabilizing, especially after so many changes, can take many months. For myself, after I started holding, I would say it took about 2.5 months before I started to see real glimmers of progress, and at 5.5 months now I'm not yet stable although I've progressed a lot.

Time and patience are key here. I think these have been linked for you before, but please try to engage some coping skills like acceptance: https://antidepressantrecovery.org/topic/57-acceptance-is-key-why-does-acceptance-feel-impossible/

@Steve1 Symptoms still about same

I get chest tightness behind breastbone, almost like an inner akathisia as well feel like there’s a restless feeling 24/7, i feel weak and fatigued, doom feeling, coughing, feeling like I could throw up, deep pains in neck and shouders, electrical mild pains at left pec almost like it’s my heart, along with GI related stuff, etc

Idek how to describe some of the stuff I feel tbh.. I truly truly believe this is going to kill me and I’m just waiting on it

Edited September 20Sep 20 by Rekonum

@SarahMc Are you sure it wont kill me if I go try to do something even if it literally feels like I’m going to die?

I mean I’m terrified to stand up because I feel weak and like I’ll just fall over and die

My pills aren’t even scored so I could just be taking inconsistent doses every time I weigh them anyways @SarahMc

@Rekonum I have had 2 days in a row of being unable to stand up, feeling like I could die. As part of many, many days like this. I know this torment you are in, you are not alone, and you are safe here. You will not die, I am thinking of you.

Headed to ER again here soon

Maybe you’ll get an ER doctor who knows about withdrawal 🙏

1 hour ago, Rekonum said:

My pills aren’t even scored so I could just be taking inconsistent doses every time I weigh them anyways

Have you asked the pharmacist about even distribution? If it isn't or you are concerned, going the pill to powder and weigh it in a capsule.

@Rekonum when you go to the ER have they been giving you drugs? Benzos or otherwise? I understand going to the ER if you feel like you need to be medically supervised but I would strongly recommend refusing any drugs, especially psych drugs. I know in ERs they often just hook you up to an IV and don’t necessarily tell you what they’re giving you too, so please ask before accepting anything.

@Rekonum You are 100% experiencing effects of WD/Kindling this isn't you, Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

So long as you are weighing your doses and being consistent don't worry about the pills and the lack of line.

This is not going to kill you, it just feels awful. Your body has been trough so much and it is time to just trust it to stablise without changes which can take many months rather than days. So don't worry if it doesn't happen quickly. Main thing is to accept the suffering as radical as that sounds and learn some coping skills to get through each day. Each hour at first if needs be. You are not alone in this. Lots of folk are having a hard time here too, and lots of folk have improved and gone onto recover/stablise. That will be you eventually.

Let us know how you are. And certainly no additional drugs, as you know doctors don't understand WD injury and just make it worse unfortunately.

How did the hospital visit go @Rekonum ?

@Chippy

Why stay on the drug if it’s harming me.. even if it gets worse if I taper rapidly from here, wouldn’t it at least remove the drug and give the body time to heal quicker than if I stay where I’m at?

If I’m off the drug at least I can’t really blame it for my issues a year from now

1 hour ago, Rekonum said:

Why stay on the drug if it’s harming me.. even if it gets worse if I taper rapidly from here, wouldn’t it at least remove the drug and give the body time to heal quicker than if I stay where I’m at?

If I’m off the drug at least I can’t really blame it for my issues a year from now

@Rekonum if you look around this forum you'll see that people who come off drugs too quickly can absolutely have severe issues for much longer than a year. I know you are suffering badly right now but things can still get worse, and coming off the drug quickly absolutely does not guarantee faster healing -- often the opposite.

It's hard to untangle what's causing your issues, especially with your most recent big cut to the lexapro and klonopin. It's important to hold things steady now and give your body some real time to find stability.

I probably already messed myself up cutting lexapro and klonopin this low and hopefully I’m weighing them correctly and they actually are distributed properly.. who knows?

Also, I know this is a crazy question, but can I completely ignore any symptom I feel even if it’s very severe? I’ve gotten to a point where if it can’t actually kill me then why not just ignore it and live life suffering.. I’d rather live life suffering than just sit in bed suffering…

Chest tightening and breathing difficulties kind of scare me sometimes and makes me think it isn’t the medications.. that’s why I go to ER

I’m having a stress test and echocardiogram done soon so if those check out I think I’m literally going to just ignore my symptoms, even if they make me pass out or something lol

@Chippy @SarahMc

Edited September 21Sep 21 by Rekonum

@Rekonum It is hard to unpick what has happened to make you feel as you are. You RI for a reason, we assume this was to help WD from stopping Lexapro to quickly. A low dose may help with that. Also you have been taking Lexapro for a couple of months now so will have some dependance on it making stopping it quickly potentially problematic. The same is true for the Benzo. We would suggest you hold and stablise than come off both drugs and end up in a complex poly drugged WD state which could be dangerous with a Benzo and very long lasting, much longer than the year you mention here.

If your symptoms are WD they are not dangerous, getting checking out to make sure there are no other underlying problems is smart. Just no more drugs.

Learning to live well whilst you stablise is also smart, challenging and individualised but I 100% support this idea and we talk about it a lot of here. Coping skills are very important.