2 hours ago, sarahw said:

Thanks Chippy. I have also thought about reinstating a small amount, but I don’t think my GP would support that; this was part of the reason my taper ended up being a bit of "pushing through" with symptoms (I also had concerns about prolonging the taper, after only having been on for a short time to begin with).

 

I might try some taurine which I just read about.

 

I still hope I can get through all this and recover without resorting to any more drugs.

 

I'll continue updating here as things progress, it seems valuable to have this documented. I read other people’s stories and it gives me new ideas / understanding about my own situation.

Hi @sarahw have you discussed with your GP? Mark Horowitz advocates for tapers to be patient led, meaning only you what you’re going through and what your body’s telling you. There’s a concept called shared decision making where your doc can advise and inform you and you make the decision based on your discussion. Your doctor may not be averse to this - you could try asking. I have a relationship with my psychiatrist like this and so far it’s working for me. I’ve control over how fast or slow I go. I wish you the best 🤗

12 hours ago, sarahw said:

Thanks Chippy. I have also thought about reinstating a small amount, but I don’t think my GP would support that; this was part of the reason my taper ended up being a bit of "pushing through" with symptoms (I also had concerns about prolonging the taper, after only having been on for a short time to begin with).

 

I might try some taurine which I just read about.

 

I still hope I can get through all this and recover without resorting to any more drugs.

 

I'll continue updating here as things progress, it seems valuable to have this documented. I read other people’s stories and it gives me new ideas / understanding about my own situation.

Hey @sarahw No problems. Im not saying you should RI. You came off in June so your risk is high compared to some. However some have been successful, RI after 18months+, it's just weighing up that risk and that is a personal thing. @Catbird is right your care is patient led or should be. Your doctor should have, and should be now helping you as you see fit. She should not have made you feel you needed to go faster than your body was telling you. That was wrong. Im sorry you experienced this. I wouldn't have been worried about prolonging your taper. I guess you were worried about tolerance but honestly you had been on a few years already so had a decent amount of tolerance to the drug. The additional tolerance cost would have been minimal compared to the benefit of slower tapering. But that is the past now.

 

I can't comment on taurine. 

 

RI isnt about resorting to more drugs. I would never advocate for that. You can't 'treat' WD symptoms with medicaltion. But true WD is your brain requiring the drug to function in it's current setting, whilst it trys to readjust to the lack of drug. A RI is just attempting to give it back a little of what it wants and try to meet it half way.

 

Again Im not advocating for it. It isnt without its risk as I said above. I just want you to have informed consent about your health, so giving you all the information I can, so YOU can work out what you think is best. 🙂 

 

We would love to keep hearing from you. Its always nice to hear from you. But also you are right, all the data that can be gathered is of benefit to the greater good. And we all appreciate that for sure!

 

Chippy

On 3/10/2026 at 11:09 PM, sarahw said:

It’s been like this for a month now, but fluctuating - some days (like today) it all just calms down and I feel more ok. Still low energy, but closer to normal.

 

This is a very good sign, even though it doesn't make most of the rest of the time much easier.

 

There's a lot of precedent for people having better periods at less than a year off going on to recover in time.  Your body is starting to achieve decent functioning sometimes, that's a step on the road towards doing it more.

 

Personally I would not consider reinstating on this basis.

13 minutes ago, Luke said:

 

This is a very good sign, even though it doesn't make most of the rest of the time much easier.

 

There's a lot of precedent for people having better periods at less than a year off going on to recover in time.  Your body is starting to achieve decent functioning sometimes, that's a step on the road towards doing it more.

 

Personally I would not consider reinstating on this basis.

Its a good observation @sarahw you are clearly showing signs of trying to get the right side of this. You just have to weigh up how bad things are for you. Im generally personally inclined to agree with @Luke not to RI, but I wanted you to have the options to hand. Only you know how bad this is and are in the best place to read your body. No one else.

Thanks everyone. I’m going to try and avoid reinstating for now but it's good to have it as an option that could be tried. I’m having another reasonably good day so it’s easier to be positive 🙂

 

19 hours ago, Catbird said:

Hi @sarahw have you discussed with your GP? Mark Horowitz advocates for tapers to be patient led, meaning only you what you’re going through and what your body’s telling you. There’s a concept called shared decision making where your doc can advise and inform you and you make the decision based on your discussion. Your doctor may not be averse to this - you could try asking. I have a relationship with my psychiatrist like this and so far it’s working for me. I’ve control over how fast or slow I go. I wish you the best 🤗

 

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

Your doctor should have, and should be now helping you as you see fit. She should not have made you feel you needed to go faster than your body was telling you. That was wrong. Im sorry you experienced this. I wouldn't have been worried about prolonging your taper. I guess you were worried about tolerance but honestly you had been on a few years already so had a decent amount of tolerance to the drug. The additional tolerance cost would have been minimal compared to the benefit of slower tapering. But that is the past now.

 

So the whole tapering situation sucked. The GPs I’ve dealt with all believe that small doses don’t do anything. How can you work on a taper with such a doctor? I couldn’t handle having to repeatedly be assertive, have them think I’m a neurotic idiot, and deal with uncertainty over prescriptions every time. So in the end I stockpiled a bit and then made the taper work as best I could. Meanwhile on SA I got comments saying I was still going too fast because I had any symptoms at all, and implying I was doomed to fail. I felt stuck between these two extreme positions, getting disapproval from both sides. 
 

Some observations from the 3-year taper:
(1) the 50% drops in the beginning were fine for me. I got down to 2.5mg this way without any real issues (some very long holds so I’m confident it wasn’t just delayed). After that I did need smaller % cuts.
(2) some symptoms were milder than they had been in the faster taper. Things like irritability, rage, self-loathing, extreme emotional sensitivity. They all reappeared in the slower taper but not as severe.
(3) I had other symptoms I didn’t experience before. And the rebound anxiety in the end has been considerably worse. I started to think that turning the initial 10 months of "treatment" into 5 and a half years of drug exposure was not altogether beneficial. This was partly why I wasn’t convinced prolonging the taper further was a good idea.

 

In hindsight I shouldn’t have reinstated such a big amount (10mg) after the first taper, and shouldn’t have stayed on it a whole year before starting to taper again. My taper might have been a lot easier if I hadn’t. Or, maybe it would always have got tough at some point. I tend to think "withdrawal" is an umbrella term for a wide range of physiological processes that can happen in response to removal of the drug. It could be that some of these withdrawal processes are always going to be felt strongly when they kick in. It certainly seems the slow taper is not a walk in the park for many people.

 

Obviously the past is the past and I did my best with what I knew… as we all do.

32 minutes ago, sarahw said:

Thanks everyone. I’m going to try and avoid reinstating for now but it's good to have it as an option that could be tried. I’m having another reasonably good day so it’s easier to be positive 🙂

 

 

 

So the whole tapering situation sucked. The GPs I’ve dealt with all believe that small doses don’t do anything. How can you work on a taper with such a doctor? I couldn’t handle having to repeatedly be assertive, have them think I’m a neurotic idiot, and deal with uncertainty over prescriptions every time. So in the end I stockpiled a bit and then made the taper work as best I could. Meanwhile on SA I got comments saying I was still going too fast because I had any symptoms at all, and implying I was doomed to fail. I felt stuck between these two extreme positions, getting disapproval from both sides. 
 

Some observations from the 3-year taper:
(1) the 50% drops in the beginning were fine for me. I got down to 2.5mg this way without any real issues (some very long holds so I’m confident it wasn’t just delayed). After that I did need smaller % cuts.
(2) some symptoms were milder than they had been in the faster taper. Things like irritability, rage, self-loathing, extreme emotional sensitivity. They all reappeared in the slower taper but not as severe.
(3) I had other symptoms I didn’t experience before. And the rebound anxiety in the end has been considerably worse. I started to think that turning the initial 10 months of "treatment" into 5 and a half years of drug exposure was not altogether beneficial. This was partly why I wasn’t convinced prolonging the taper further was a good idea.

 

In hindsight I shouldn’t have reinstated such a big amount (10mg) after the first taper, and shouldn’t have stayed on it a whole year before starting to taper again. My taper might have been a lot easier if I hadn’t. Or, maybe it would always have got tough at some point. I tend to think "withdrawal" is an umbrella term for a wide range of physiological processes that can happen in response to removal of the drug. It could be that some of these withdrawal processes are always going to be felt strongly when they kick in. It certainly seems the slow taper is not a walk in the park for many people.

 

Obviously the past is the past and I did my best with what I knew… as we all do.

Hope things settle for you soon Sarah! 

 

Sounds like you had stressful time of it. I’m sorry to hear that. All in the past now. You’ll heal and move on from this I have no doubt!

4 hours ago, sarahw said:

Obviously the past is the past and I did my best with what I knew… as we all do.

Hindsight is a funny thing @sarahw! Sounds like you’ve been listening to your body all along. I’m now at low dose of Escitalopram and everything has slowed down a lot. My goal is to stay functional even though the tapering of multiple drugs is going to take maybe a decade. I genuinely think the SA people were trying to help not judge, but I understand how this can come across especially when you’re doing the best you can. We all have to learn from mistakes along the way, and we all make them. The trick is to not dwell on them and we just correct the course we’re on. Take care 🤗

7 hours ago, Catbird said:

genuinely think the SA people were trying to help not judge,

 

7 hours ago, Catbird said:

The trick is to not dwell on them and we just correct the course we’re on

100% to both!

15 hours ago, sarahw said:

Thanks everyone. I’m going to try and avoid reinstating for now but it's good to have it as an option that could be tried. I’m having another reasonably good day so it’s easier to be positive 🙂

 

That's good.

 

It also reinforces to me that reinstatement does not seem like it would be in your best interest (I am not a doctor, so what seems what to me might not be important).

 

Often reinstatement is not a magic bullet and leads to lots of ups and downs before it works- if it even works. You are experiencing ups and downs now, which is often a good step on the road towards recovering.

 

At 9ish months, having windows and better times, you're making good progress and I'd suggest trying to keep in mind where you'd like to be down the line (hopefully recovered), rather than trying to deal with the effects of more drugs and more tapering & withdrawal.

44 minutes ago, Luke said:

At 9ish months, having windows and better times, you're making good progress and I'd suggest trying to keep in mind where you'd like to be down the line (hopefully recovered), rather than trying to deal with the effects of more drugs and more tapering & withdrawal.

100%

On 3/10/2026 at 11:09 PM, sarahw said:

My body feels resistant to walking much, my legs often feel weak and heavy. I get body temperature fluctuations, waves of heat / chilly feeling. I often have cold sweating hands and feet and a warm face. Sometimes my hands feel weak and jittery as if I don’t have full control of them. In fact my whole body can feel like that. I sometimes feel spaced out or slightly dizzy maybe.

Just a small update, at 9 months at zero. These physical symptoms that started around 7th Feb have all receded over the last couple of weeks. The physiological anxiety has also calmed down. I had a very bad day with it 9 days ago, felt so terrible I was even thinking again about reinstatement, but then it just stopped. So strange, the intensity and the up-and-down-ness. It does make me think this is likely still withdrawal, as I never experienced anything like this before. Of course it may all come back, but it’s great to at least have a break from it now.

 

I’m still very prone to doom thoughts and days where I just feel really low, but I’m also having days where my mood is quite OK.

 

I have tried magnesium glycinate and taurine now for their reported calming effect, neither of them really seemed to do anything for me. I intend to get some theanine as well and try that.

Dear @sarahw, I am happy that you are feeling better!

10 minutes ago, sarahw said:

These physical symptoms that started around 7th Feb have all receded over the last couple of weeks. The physiological anxiety has also calmed down.

This sounds so promising!
 

 

11 minutes ago, sarahw said:

So strange, the intensity and the up-and-down-ness. It does make me think this is likely still withdrawal, as I never experienced anything like this before.

Yes, it does sound like withdrawal. Even nine months in I do not think this is so unusual. Windows and waves, the classic pattern. 
 

 

13 minutes ago, sarahw said:

I have tried magnesium glycinate and taurine now for their reported calming effect, neither of them really seemed to do anything for me. I intend to get some theanine as well and try that.

I do take L-theanine occasionally and I have the impression that it helps me. I take it for the chemical anxiety. And I believe that it reduces it. It might be placebo. But I didn’t have this effect with magnesium.

 

I wish very much for you that you will experience more healing soon!

Thanks @Nemina, I wish the same for you ❤️

57 minutes ago, sarahw said:

Just a small update, at 9 months at zero. These physical symptoms that started around 7th Feb have all receded over the last couple of weeks. The physiological anxiety has also calmed down. I had a very bad day with it 9 days ago, felt so terrible I was even thinking again about reinstatement, but then it just stopped. So strange, the intensity and the up-and-down-ness. It does make me think this is likely still withdrawal, as I never experienced anything like this before. Of course it may all come back, but it’s great to at least have a break from it now.

 

I’m still very prone to doom thoughts and days where I just feel really low, but I’m also having days where my mood is quite OK.

 

I have tried magnesium glycinate and taurine now for their reported calming effect, neither of them really seemed to do anything for me. I intend to get some theanine as well and try that.

Hi @sarahw This all sounds very positive. I had to do a long hold of 3.5 months last year. It was a very difficult time with incapacitating symptoms worse towards the end. Then one day they were just gone.  I was stable. I’ve been micro dosing since then.

Do you mind me asking what your final dose was?

Hi @Catbird, that’s amazing. I have heard of other people making sudden improvements. You just never know what’s round the corner.

 

My last dose was 0.2mg citalopram.

3 hours ago, sarahw said:

Hi @Catbird, that’s amazing. I have heard of other people making sudden improvements. You just never know what’s round the corner.

 

My last dose was 0.2mg citalopram.

Hope this happens for you 🤗

7 hours ago, sarahw said:

Just a small update, at 9 months at zero. These physical symptoms that started around 7th Feb have all receded over the last couple of weeks. The physiological anxiety has also calmed down. I had a very bad day with it 9 days ago, felt so terrible I was even thinking again about reinstatement, but then it just stopped. So strange, the intensity and the up-and-down-ness. It does make me think this is likely still withdrawal, as I never experienced anything like this before. Of course it may all come back, but it’s great to at least have a break from it now.

 

I’m still very prone to doom thoughts and days where I just feel really low, but I’m also having days where my mood is quite OK.

 

I have tried magnesium glycinate and taurine now for their reported calming effect, neither of them really seemed to do anything for me. I intend to get some theanine as well and try that.

Hey @sarahw

 

Thanks for the update. This all sounds very positive to me! Waves and windows happening very clearly. Good signs of healing from this madness. Time is your friend. This will all pass eventually even if the road there is a bit bumpy and pot holey (bit like English roads!). 
 

Sending some healing vibes xxx

@sarahw Thank you for the update.

 

It seems as though even though things are still difficult, you very much are experiencing a clearer and clearer trend of improvement over time.

 

I really wouldn't reinstate, I think if you keep giving it more time, you'll keep being able to look back and say things like "although things are very difficult, I'm noticeably better than I was 3 months ago".

 

If that keeps being the case, surely eventually you'll be doing well. That's the hope anyway.

 

Please do keep checking in and let us know how you're getting on, we're happy to support you. It's a difficult road, but I believe you're making good progress down it and eventually you will get to the end.

10 months at zero, update. It’s been an OK month. Some days with fatigue and body temperature weirdness, this could be hormonal, not sure. Physiological anxiety symptoms haven’t been too bad. I’m still battling a lot of mental anxiety, my mind seems to dwell on worst case scenarios so much that it feels as if they are real. I’m going to be working on learning to live with this for a long time I think.

I’ve had issues with salivary gland obstruction for a couple of years now, and this month I went for an eye test and was told I have a similar thing with my eyes - the tear ducts are clogged up. I went online and discovered this could all be Sjögren's, this has not helped my anxiety. But issues with dryness in mouth and eyes are fairly common in withdrawal groups too, and antidepressants are referenced as a cause for the salivary issue. So maybe it’s been triggered by the citalopram or the withdrawal. I suppose at some point I should speak to a doctor (I’ve only spoken with the dentist about the salivary issues) but I’m scared. Has anyone heard of people having issues like these that resolved after withdrawal?

@sarahw Thanks for the update. Sounds like things are moving along in a positive trend for you. We are all a work in progress. I am a great believer that the skills we learn in WD help us once healed.

I also think alot of what we exprience in WD is down to WD. Occam's razor. I tend to just let the body do it's thing. Accept and trust it to put everything right. Medical professionals have a habbit of diagnosing everything and treating it, or trying. I believe firmly that time and a good healthy life style, gives the body all it needs to put things back into balance. I think you are already seeing this play out.

1 hour ago, sarahw said:

10 months at zero, update. It’s been an OK month. Some days with fatigue and body temperature weirdness, this could be hormonal, not sure. Physiological anxiety symptoms haven’t been too bad. I’m still battling a lot of mental anxiety, my mind seems to dwell on worst case scenarios so much that it feels as if they are real. I’m going to be working on learning to live with this for a long time I think.

I’ve had issues with salivary gland obstruction for a couple of years now, and this month I went for an eye test and was told I have a similar thing with my eyes - the tear ducts are clogged up. I went online and discovered this could all be Sjögren's, this has not helped my anxiety. But issues with dryness in mouth and eyes are fairly common in withdrawal groups too, and antidepressants are referenced as a cause for the salivary issue. So maybe it’s been triggered by the citalopram or the withdrawal. I suppose at some point I should speak to a doctor (I’ve only spoken with the dentist about the salivary issues) but I’m scared. Has anyone heard of people having issues like these that resolved after withdrawal?

@sarahw I suffer with dry everything from Amitriptyline. Dry mouth has caused dental caries, dry eyes cost me a fortune - I have 6 different products I have to use in addition to a Bruder mask, constant dry cracked lips, dry skin and cracks in my heels, and dry gut (constipation). Plus I've had significant changes in visual acuity. I get the whole disruption of thermoregulation too - ever since I started on SSRIs. It's good you've had a reasonable month 🧡

9 hours ago, Catbird said:

@sarahw I suffer with dry everything from Amitriptyline. Dry mouth has caused dental caries, dry eyes cost me a fortune - I have 6 different products I have to use in addition to a Bruder mask, constant dry cracked lips, dry skin and cracks in my heels, and dry gut (constipation). Plus I've had significant changes in visual acuity. I get the whole disruption of thermoregulation too - ever since I started on SSRIs. It's good you've had a reasonable month 🧡

I’m sorry you’ve suffered with this. In my case I haven’t really noticed excessive dryness, but I get mucoceles in my mouth that burst, and I’ve had several pieces come out of my saliva ducts, what I initially thought was stones but now think may be mucous plugs.

1 hour ago, sarahw said:

10 months at zero, update. It’s been an OK month. Some days with fatigue and body temperature weirdness, this could be hormonal, not sure. Physiological anxiety symptoms haven’t been too bad. I’m still battling a lot of mental anxiety, my mind seems to dwell on worst case scenarios so much that it feels as if they are real. I’m going to be working on learning to live with this for a long time I think.

I’ve had issues with salivary gland obstruction for a couple of years now, and this month I went for an eye test and was told I have a similar thing with my eyes - the tear ducts are clogged up. I went online and discovered this could all be Sjögren's, this has not helped my anxiety. But issues with dryness in mouth and eyes are fairly common in withdrawal groups too, and antidepressants are referenced as a cause for the salivary issue. So maybe it’s been triggered by the citalopram or the withdrawal. I suppose at some point I should speak to a doctor (I’ve only spoken with the dentist about the salivary issues) but I’m scared. Has anyone heard of people having issues like these that resolved after withdrawal?

10 hours ago, sarahw said:

10 months at zero, update. It’s been an OK month. Some days with fatigue and body temperature weirdness, this could be hormonal, not sure. Physiological anxiety symptoms haven’t been too bad. I’m still battling a lot of mental anxiety, my mind seems to dwell on worst case scenarios so much that it feels as if they are real. I’m going to be working on learning to live with this for a long time I think.

I’ve had issues with salivary gland obstruction for a couple of years now, and this month I went for an eye test and was told I have a similar thing with my eyes - the tear ducts are clogged up. I went online and discovered this could all be Sjögren's, this has not helped my anxiety. But issues with dryness in mouth and eyes are fairly common in withdrawal groups too, and antidepressants are referenced as a cause for the salivary issue. So maybe it’s been triggered by the citalopram or the withdrawal. I suppose at some point I should speak to a doctor (I’ve only spoken with the dentist about the salivary issues) but I’m scared. Has anyone heard of people having issues like these that resolved after withdrawal?

I totally relate @sarahw from the beginning of the process and it's getting worse, extreme mouth dryness and in general it feels like all the moisture has been completely sucked out of my body, everything, nose, eyes, skin as dry as a desert.

Very common from what I've seen around and can take long while after stopping so I wouldn't worry, it will pass like the other symptoms.

Hope it settles very soon.

Edited April 30Apr 30 by Fullhealing

7 hours ago, sarahw said:

I’m sorry you’ve suffered with this. In my case I haven’t really noticed excessive dryness, but I get mucoceles in my mouth that burst, and I’ve had several pieces come out of my saliva ducts, what I initially thought was stones but now think may be mucous plugs.

Sounds weird. Any ideas from GP?

23 hours ago, sarahw said:

Has anyone heard of people having issues like these that resolved after withdrawal?

Various eye issues, including dry eyes, seem pretty common.

I'm in touch with someone who was diagnosed with eye issues that "never get better" in withdrawal, who went back a year later to be told it had disappeared.

It is worth having medical tests to rule things out, and there's nothing wrong with doing this alongside a "wait and see" approach. You can consider the outcome of any medical investigations and tests alongside your other health considerations (withdrawal) if anything comes up.