Hey,

First, congratulations and a huge thanks to everyone involved who built this new wonderful home in such a short time, amazing work, so well done!

I started a thread just to get things moving but it's hard for me to detail now since my brain fog refuses to translate my thoughts into words but most surly it will happen at some point.

In the meantime, I wish everyone easy moments and send lots of strength and positive vibes to those in need.

Thank you all

 

Here’s my story so far on sa: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/6848-againstallodds-obsessive-thoughts-help/

Welcome to the forum, Fullhealing.

 

I am the Recovery Assistant Bot and I am here to post some information for you whilst we await replies from other members.

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications. If you are experiencing an adverse reaction to them, withdrawal difficulties or are injured by them, we are very sorry to hear this and will do what we can to help you.

 

While we are waiting for human members to reply, there are some things you can do that will help you get the most out of this forum whilst you await further support.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here:

https://antidepressantrecovery.org/misc.php?action=help

 

Please update your signature. This will allow members to see some basic information about your drug history and situation so that they may help you best. Information on how to do this is located in the guides linked above, but here is a direct link:

https://antidepressantrecovery.org/misc.php?action=help&hid=8

 

Once this is done, future posts made by you will have this signature turned on by default.

 

If you have migrated here from "SurvivingAntidepressants" feel free to post a link to your old thread in this one, or include it in your signature.

 

We hope that you will find this forum helpful.

Hi Fullhealing and welcome to the forum!

 

I’m sorry to read about your brain fog. That must be very distressing for you. I do hope that passes soon. Well done for getting logged in in-spite of this. 

 

I’ve linked your sa thread for you. When you get a second please update your signature with your drug history. 

 

Thanks

 

Chippy

Thank you very much chippy!  :shy:

Thank you for joining.

 

Hey,

First, congratulations and a huge thanks to everyone involved who built this new wonderful home in such a short time, amazing work, so well done!

I started a thread just to get things moving but it's hard for me to detail now since my brain fog refuses to translate my thoughts into words but most surly it will happen at some point.

In the meantime, I wish everyone easy moments and send lots of strength and positive vibes to those in need.

Thank you all

 

Here’s my story so far on sa: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/6848-againstallodds-obsessive-thoughts-help/

 

There's no rush. Post as and when you feel able to.

 

First, congratulations and a huge thanks to everyone involved who built this new wonderful home in such a short time, amazing work, so well done!

 

You're welcome. Special mention should go to Chippy for his help too.

Welcome and Happy Holidays! Our “fathers” have helped us migrate over here from SA. It will benefit many ☺️ 

 

And I’m glad to read in your signature line that you’ve stabilized to a certain degree. Brain fog can be challenging, just take it slowly. Simple movement—cleaning house/dishes, walking, light exercise, stretching, yoga, lifting weights, etc.—can help cognitive function. Just some thoughts to help. Take care!

Ok so my last update was on SA on the 5th of the month and my updates will continue here.

On the 3rd of the month a 1.5% cut, then on the 9th another 8.5% cut so in the last 13 days I have cut by 10% and although there is no significant worsening the general suffering is very much alive and kicking and challenging the little strength I have left.

Current symptoms:

Brain fog - terrible! Constant forgetfulness, difficulty putting sentences together, stutter a lot and I never stuttered in my life, simple math has become rocket science, zero concentration, inability to process information, feels like my brain is melting.

Anxiety, paranoia, depression, intrusive thoughts - no matter what I do, watching positive content, positive environment, etc. somehow my brain makes negative/bizarre/illusory connections to everything so most of the time overwhelmed.

Physical:

Tinnitus - constant as usual a part from moments of severe anxiety or when I'm trying to activate my brain in some way, then they scream.

Twitching - improved slightly.

Body pain - comes in strong waves to the point of being unable to move, currently better in terms of pain but there is a feeling of tightness in the chest, more anxiety related.

Sleep - although I usually sleep 7-8 hours it is always disturbed by nightmares/awakening etc, in strong waves there's hallucinations as well.

So since throughout the entire process I am unable to reach real stabilization, and mainly because I feel poisoned as long as the drug is in my system, my plan is, if no hell tsunami comes, to wait another 3 weeks/month and go down by 5%.

We'll see what the days bring.

Edited January 15Jan 15 by Fullhealing

Update 9am

symptoms:

 

Mental:

Brain fog-lack of concentration, difficulty holding a basic conversation (forgetting words regularly), difficulty writing etc.

Intrusive thoughts.

Depression.

Restlessness.

Rage/anger.

General anxiety/fear.

Social phobia.

Impatience.

 

Physical:

Tinnitus.

Twitching.

Body aches.

Headaches.

Gastro-problems-soft stools, bloating.

 

So I'm on a pretty constant wave, some of the symptoms are stubborn and some come and go at different intensities, extremely unpredictable and make it very difficult to manage even basic things, however there are tiny windows here and there that gives some strength to keep pushing so even if it's far from ideal I'm grateful to have at least that.

I'm trying my best, though really struggle to accept and not fight, resistance intensifies everything to an unbearable level so that it's pointless..

So for now, continuing on survival mode and holding onto hope, without hope there is nothing.

Until the next update, sending strength to all those struggling, we all have much more than we can imagine.

Edited January 21Jan 21 by Fullhealing

I hope that your symptoms are more manageable moving forwards, and especially once you hit 0mg.

 

Please do keep checking in with us for support and keeping us updated.

33 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 9am

symptoms:

 

Mental:

Brain fog-lack of concentration, difficulty holding a basic conversation (forgetting words regularly), difficulty writing etc.

Intrusive thoughts.

Depression.

Restlessness.

Rage/anger.

General anxiety/fear.

Social phobia.

Impatience.

 

Physical:

Tinnitus.

Twitching.

Body aches.

Headaches.

Gastro-problems-soft stools, bloating.

 

So I'm on a pretty constant wave, some of the symptoms are stubborn and some come and go at different intensities, extremely unpredictable and make it very difficult to manage even basic things, however there are tiny windows here and there that gives some strength to keep pushing so even if it's far from ideal I'm grateful to have at least that.

I'm trying my best, though really struggle to accept and not fight, resistance intensifies everything to an unbearable level so that it's pointless..

So for now, continuing on survival mode and holding onto hope, without hope there is nothing.

Until the next update, sending strength to all those struggling, we all have much more than we can imagine.

Hey

 

Thanks for the update.

 

Sorry you having a rough time of it. You holding till things settle?

 

Chippy

8 hours ago, Luke said:

I hope that your symptoms are more manageable moving forwards, and especially once you hit 0mg.

 

Please do keep checking in with us for support and keeping us updated.

Thank you @Luke long road to 0 but I'm on my way, will definitely update 🙏

Edited January 21Jan 21 by Fullhealing

7 hours ago, Chippy said:

Hey

 

Thanks for the update.

 

Sorry you having a rough time of it. You holding till things settle?

 

Chippy

Thank you @Chippy 

Still debating how to proceed, not sure there is such a thing as real balance as long as the drug is in the system, so far I haven't been able to stabilize even though I've waited a considerable amount of time in between cuts so I think I'll go with a 5% cut every two weeks/month but I'll live and see.

14 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Thank you @Chippy 

Still debating how to proceed, not sure there is such a thing as real balance as long as the drug is in the system, so far I haven't been able to stabilize even though I've waited a considerable amount of time in between cuts so I think I'll go with a 5% cut every two weeks/month but I'll live and see.

I think that’s right. These drugs aren’t good for us. However I also think being stable if possible is the best way. Slow and steady wins the race 😀

@Luke & @Chippy

Again to say, many thanks for the dedication, investment and time you put into this site, truly impressive how you have managed to develop it in such a short time and much appreciation for all the support you give to everyone here while going through a tough journey yourself, inspiring.
All the best to you both.

Edited January 21Jan 21 by Fullhealing

6 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

@Luke & @Chippy

Again to say, many thanks for the dedication, investment and time you put into this site, truly impressive how you have managed to develop it in such a short time and much appreciation for all the support you give to everyone here while going through a tough journey yourself, inspiring.
All the best to you both.

It’s an absolute to pleasure to be here and try to help the community where we can. 

On 1/21/2026 at 4:23 PM, Fullhealing said:

Thank you @Chippy 

Still debating how to proceed, not sure there is such a thing as real balance as long as the drug is in the system, so far I haven't been able to stabilize even though I've waited a considerable amount of time in between cuts so I think I'll go with a 5% cut every two weeks/month but I'll live and see.

 

That is the unfortunate truth for some people.

 

My several months of use of Mirtazapine was a kaleidescope of physical side effects with new ones popping up all the time. I do not think I stabilised on it and that was before I tapered off.

 

All you can really do is listen to your body and balance what happens when you make a cut against what happens when you do not, and cautiously proceed whilst being prepared to adjust your approach.

 

 

19 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

@Luke & @Chippy

Again to say, many thanks for the dedication, investment and time you put into this site, truly impressive how you have managed to develop it in such a short time and much appreciation for all the support you give to everyone here while going through a tough journey yourself, inspiring.
All the best to you both.

 

You're welcome. If you'd like to repay the kindness, the best thing you can do is pay it forward and lend a support to other members where you feel you can. This forum is a community of all of its members, not just us two.

I’m sending you positive thoughts/prayers. I can see that you’re still having quite a bit of difficulty. I hope that you can stabilize and feel better soon. The brain gets so tossed around with these Rx. And it seems with your Rx history, the slower and smaller the better right now in any cuts after stabilizing. You’re below 3mg which is great. Do you take any helpful supplements that are recommended (Mg glycinate and Omega-3) or others that may work for you?

What does a good day feel like to you?—even if you haven’t had one in a while or it feels that way. It helps shift the brain into a healing pathway. 

Be well my friend. 

4 hours ago, namastejen1 said:

I’m sending you positive thoughts/prayers. I can see that you’re still having quite a bit of difficulty. I hope that you can stabilize and feel better soon. The brain gets so tossed around with these Rx. And it seems with your Rx history, the slower and smaller the better right now in any cuts after stabilizing. You’re below 3mg which is great. Do you take any helpful supplements that are recommended (Mg glycinate and Omega-3) or others that may work for you?

What does a good day feel like to you?—even if you haven’t had one in a while or it feels that way. It helps shift the brain into a healing pathway. 

Be well my friend. 

Thank you for the positive vibes 🤗 @namastejen1 appreciate it.

A good day is a active day along with mental clarity meaning without being constantly sucked into an anxious or morbid loop, which is quite rare lately.

I do try hard to work on fake it until it you make it and forcefully do stuff but the lower the dose, the harder it becomes to implement.

Regarding supplements, my body hates them now, at first I was still able to take vitamin D and B12, but later it caused a flare-up and threw me into akathisia and worse digestive problems than usual, I also tried magnesium, omega 3, but they and basically everything now makes it worse.

Really hoping for easier days, today was pure metal torture so I couldn't do much.

We'll see what the next few days bring.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 25Jan 25 by Fullhealing

It's a blessing I have not had bad reactions recently to supplements. Many years ago when I was in worse situation from the merry go round of Rx circus, and given way too many supplements, I had very bad reactions. So I understand the hesitation to do them again. 

AKA is not fun. I have had it on and off over the years. A weighted blanket seems to help and lots of other grounding techniques. We are here to support you (and receive support too). Have a pleasant rest of your day/night!

Thanks, that gives me hope that things will get better as time goes by.

Great days ahead for you as well, take care.

Edited January 26Jan 26 by Fullhealing

Update 17:30pm

Last few days have been tough but today so far is extra awful, full force anxiety, intrusive thoughts with depressive dips along with severe restlessness.

Nights are also disturbed which certainly doesn't help.

Everything is mixed up, reality feels unreal and more like a continuous nightmare, no desire for anything with constant fear, no fun at all..

Very pessimistic mindset today, my efforts to break it to no avail, very frustrating.

Tinnitus has been at screaming level the last few days which indicates as I learned to know that the wave is very strong.

A tiny window would be a blessing.

17 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 17:30pm

Last few days have been tough but today so far is extra awful, full force anxiety, intrusive thoughts with depressive dips along with severe restlessness.

Nights are also disturbed which certainly doesn't help.

Everything is mixed up, reality feels unreal and more like a continuous nightmare, no desire for anything with constant fear, no fun at all..

Very pessimistic mindset today, my efforts to break it to no avail, very frustrating.

Tinnitus has been at screaming level the last few days which indicates as I learned to know that the wave is very strong.

A tiny window would be a blessing.

Hey @Fullhealing

 

Sorry to read this. As you know what you are going through is seen right across SA and on here too. Awful. Im so sorry.

 

Where are you at with your taper? If you are this bad dropping perhaps not a good idea. I know you are keen to get on with it. But equally the collective knowledge suggests this isnt the way.

 

Id encourage you to do a daily diary on here. Just simple with basic times on it and what happened. 

 

07.00 got out of bed

08.00 felt anxious

09.00 had breakfast

09.30 felt sick

 

That kind of thing. Nice and clear. Might help you and us understand whats happening a bit clearer. Also helps with seeing your progress over time.

 

I hope things ease today,

 

Chippy

6 hours ago, Chippy said:

Hey @Fullhealing

 

Sorry to read this. As you know what you are going through is seen right across SA and on here too. Awful. Im so sorry.

 

Where are you at with your taper? If you are this bad dropping perhaps not a good idea. I know you are keen to get on with it. But equally the collective knowledge suggests this isnt the way.

 

Id encourage you to do a daily diary on here. Just simple with basic times on it and what happened. 

 

07.00 got out of bed

08.00 felt anxious

09.00 had breakfast

09.30 felt sick

 

That kind of thing. Nice and clear. Might help you and us understand whats happening a bit clearer. Also helps with seeing your progress over time.

 

I hope things ease today,

 

Chippy

Hey @Chippy thanks for kind reply 🙏 extra terrible day today unfortunately, was hit by depressive wave that has been going on for a few hours already. surprisingly (or not) depression was not a main symptom or something I suffered from in general but since my last cut it's becoming an everyday thing and I am really struggling to deal with it.
Regarding dosage, I am taking your suggestion and holding until the storm passes or even much furder than that, to think that until a few days ago I was thinking of cutting to 0.. my mindset is so not in the right place.
I'll try to update later.

I really hope your day is going well so far.

 

Edited January 28Jan 28 by Fullhealing

8 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Hey @Chippy thanks for kind reply 🙏 extra terrible day today unfortunately, was hit by depressive wave that has been going on for a few hours already. surprisingly (or not) depression was not a main symptom or something I suffered from in general but since my last cut it's becoming an everyday thing and I am really struggling to deal with it.
Regarding dosage, I am taking your suggestion and holding until the storm passes or even much furder than that, to think that until a few days ago I was thinking of cutting to 0.. my mindset is so not in the right place.
I'll try to update later.

I really hope your day is going well so far.

 

Sorry to hear this. Hope this eases soon.

@Fullhealing I am thinking of you today. I too have a myriad of symptoms and can very much relate to your earlier posts about brain fog. It's awfu. The depression is dreadful too - such hopelessness and despair at times. Sometimes I try and imagine someone coming up and putting a gentle blanket over me in a very caring manner during these times. And then I imagine that same imaginary person saying "You didn't deserve this, and I am with you". That sometimes helps.