I am glad that you are still able to work even if you have these waves. It is good to keep our mind off of the wave into something else. But I feel for you and the difficulty right now. It will get better. Just like your mental state gave you a window, your body will too. It comes and goes and will finally be a bright shiny window soon. Take care, my friend.

2 hours ago, namastejen1 said:

I am glad that you are still able to work even if you have these waves. It is good to keep our mind off of the wave into something else. But I feel for you and the difficulty right now. It will get better. Just like your mental state gave you a window, your body will too. It comes and goes and will finally be a bright shiny window soon. Take care, my friend.

Yes @namastejen1 strong blow today, still actually just at bit lower at the moment which is better but I don't feel encouraged honestly..

Ok, withdrawal mindset, I don't see any good now, it will pass.

Thanks for the reminder, I really appreciate it.

Edited February 3Feb 3 by Fullhealing

On 1/21/2026 at 1:49 AM, Fullhealing said:

Update 9am

symptoms:

 

Mental:

Brain fog-lack of concentration, difficulty holding a basic conversation (forgetting words regularly), difficulty writing etc.

Intrusive thoughts.

Depression.

Restlessness.

Rage/anger.

General anxiety/fear.

Social phobia.

Impatience.

 

Physical:

Tinnitus.

Twitching.

Body aches.

Headaches.

Gastro-problems-soft stools, bloating.

 

So I'm on a pretty constant wave, some of the symptoms are stubborn and some come and go at different intensities, extremely unpredictable and make it very difficult to manage even basic things, however there are tiny windows here and there that gives some strength to keep pushing so even if it's far from ideal I'm grateful to have at least that.

I'm trying my best, though really struggle to accept and not fight, resistance intensifies everything to an unbearable level so that it's pointless..

So for now, continuing on survival mode and holding onto hope, without hope there is nothing.

Until the next update, sending strength to all those struggling, we all have much more than we can imagine.

I have had same symptoms and I'm also in paraxotine.  I am at 4.79mg and holding since October 2025.  Currently mostly symptoms are anxiety, fear sensation, burning, and new muscle stiffness and pain.  Tinnitus is on and off but it is at a point that I dont even notice it...

 

I am holding longer and see if taper will be better later .

34 minutes ago, Raymond said:

I have had same symptoms and I'm also in paraxotine.  I am at 4.79mg and holding since October 2025.  Currently mostly symptoms are anxiety, fear sensation, burning, and new muscle stiffness and pain.  Tinnitus is on and off but it is at a point that I dont even notice it...

 

I am holding longer and see if taper will be better later .

Thanks @Raymond yes, good idea to hold, that's what I'm doing now, I was a bit reckless not in terms of the amount rather in terms of waiting for balance in between and I'm paying for it, it was pretty bad before but now.. different level of hell.. this process is teaching me what patience is, no doubt.

Hopefully we'll continue to improve, the sooner the better, these waves feel like going miles back /:

Edited February 3Feb 3 by Fullhealing

36 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

this process is teaching me what patience is, no doubt.

Oh tell me about! I am learning to definitely be patience.   I will say that I feel 80% to 85% good, but like you say, it's stage brings a different hell.

 

We will get there.  

 

I need to be stable a lot longer....

15 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Oh tell me about! I am learning to definitely be patience.   I will say that I feel 80% to 85% good, but like you say, it's stage brings a different hell.

 

We will get there.  

 

I need to be stable a lot longer....

80% it's awesome! 10% will do me fine now!

Yes, long and sweaty but we'll get there.

1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:

80% it's awesome! 10% will do me fine now!

Yes, long and sweaty but we'll get there.

I remember having the symptoms all day long last year and it was for like 4 to 5 months.  Then, I started to have them only in the morning hours and by afternoon feeling better.

 

You will get there.  Hanging there

Quick update 9:30pm

My body is still half broken and trying to shake off the madness of today but mentally it's getting a little better and a little goes a long way! Grateful.

I pray for as much of a great percentage as you want to feeling better. This process brings up all the different feels and memories for me and all of us. But hopefully where I am at right now will give you hope in tapering that there are good spots. 0.44mg for several months but I'm okay with that if that is what it takes.

Update 9am

Slept maybe 5 hours but no terror jumping in between so I'll take it though a little more wouldn't hurt.

Mood, unclear, changing quickly but a little less stormy than yesterday which is good.

Body still feels bruised but the severe pains I had in my upper parts are starting to calm a bit though still feel very irritated and restless.

Tinnitus, terrible digestion, stomach aches etc. don't seem to be going anywhere, for months now..

I'm thinking of starting a daily good/positive list in this hell, after all not everything is total black, other colours as well just the tendency to forget and not appreciate what is already there is very strong when struggling so long, in short working on my mindset, easy said then done so let's see how it goes.

Today starts here, hopefully it will be easy without too many surprises but whatever comes we'll deal with. Keep being strong everyone, we got this!

Edited February 4Feb 4 by Fullhealing

5 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 9am

Slept maybe 5 hours but no terror jumping in between so I'll take it though a little more wouldn't hurt.

Mood, unclear, changing quickly but a little less stormy than yesterday which is good.

Body still feels bruised but the severe pains I had in my upper parts are starting to calm a bit though still feel very irritated and restless.

Tinnitus, terrible digestion, stomach aches etc. don't seem to be going anywhere, for months now..

I'm thinking of starting a daily good/positive list in this hell, after all not everything is total black, other colours as well just the tendency to forget and not appreciate what is already there is very strong when struggling so long, in short working on my mindset, easy said then done so let's see how it goes.

Today starts here, hopefully it will be easy without too many surprises but whatever comes we'll deal with. Keep being strong everyone, we got this!

It seems that you are doing great.  I'm glad few things improved.  As time goes by, you will notice that symptoms might be only in the morning hours and feel better in the afternoons.

 

The stomach problems last me about 8 months on a daily basis.  It was hard and I managed it by drinking ginger tea.  Then it got better for weeks and after 13 months, it's on and off but not as bad as it was.  It tends to resolve quickly too.

 

Focus on good symptoms that are coming back and that you lost during medication.  I had few things like being outdoors, hiking, etc.  Those came back even though I still don't feel the enjoyment, but it satisfying to be able to be in nature.

 

My only month that I felt totally amazing was month 9. I felt for 33 days myself.  I enjoyed everything around me.  Unfortunately, its gone now, but inhave hope that one of this days, it will come back....

 

I also developed this daily routine to keep me busy.  

 

Hanging there, you doing great.

2 hours ago, Raymond said:

It seems that you are doing great.  I'm glad few things improved.  As time goes by, you will notice that symptoms might be only in the morning hours and feel better in the afternoons.

 

The stomach problems last me about 8 months on a daily basis.  It was hard and I managed it by drinking ginger tea.  Then it got better for weeks and after 13 months, it's on and off but not as bad as it was.  It tends to resolve quickly too.

 

Focus on good symptoms that are coming back and that you lost during medication.  I had few things like being outdoors, hiking, etc.  Those came back even though I still don't feel the enjoyment, but it satisfying to be able to be in nature.

 

My only month that I felt totally amazing was month 9. I felt for 33 days myself.  I enjoyed everything around me.  Unfortunately, its gone now, but inhave hope that one of this days, it will come back....

 

I also developed this daily routine to keep me busy.  

 

Hanging there, you doing great.

@Raymond thank you, massive meltdown from the morning, same as yesterday, horrible flare up, all my upper body literally grilling, the restlessness.. wow, my mind is eating me alive, no helpful distraction whatsoever, it just happens on its own, stays as long as it wants and leaves when it gets tired of torturing me.

Honestly, no clue how I'm surviving if this becomes a daily thing, more than I can handle.

In two days it's a month from my last cut, I was expecting relief not such a sharp worsening the further I get from cutting, I know it's not linear, but still.. not as intense..

Sorry for venting, letting off some steam.

So glad you're getting better, the remaining 20% will come eventually, you're handling this hell so so well!!

Edited February 4Feb 4 by Fullhealing

27 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

it's a month from my last cu

I totally understand.  I did my last cut of 1.4% in October 2025 and still holding after being hit by old symptoms.   

 

It's important to hold long before reducing.

 

In my case, I still think my body is still dealing with my cold turkey in December 2024 before I reinstated minimal.

 

Definitely holding.....

@Raymond when you have time, please could you update your signature with any drug changes since January 2024?

Update 8:30pm, last one for today..

Very wild ,well, still but maybe 10% less intense.

Just came back from a short walk, felt like torture but glad I moved my body a little, he longs for movement, can't remember the last time I did any kind of even a light sport.

Mindset extremely dark, hate it, my body is trying to recover from the blow of the last two days, not much to do about it except let it be until...

This process is the closest to insanity there is, my strength is measured with every passing second..

Praying for better moments and kinder updates.

Edited February 4Feb 4 by Fullhealing

41 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Update 8:30pm, last one for today..

Very wild ,well, still but maybe 10% less intense.

Just came back from a short walk, felt like torture but glad I moved my body a little, he longs for movement, can't remember the last time I did any kind of even a light sport.

Mindset extremely dark, hate it, my body is trying to recover from the blow of the last two days, not much to do about it except let it be until...

This process is the closest to insanity there is, my strength is measured with every passing second..

Praying for better moments and kinder updates.

You are doing great.  You will see in the future how things will slowly improve.  One day, you might feels anxious, but at the same time you feel positively different....

39 minutes ago, Raymond said:

You are doing great.  You will see in the future how things will slowly improve.  One day, you might feels anxious, but at the same time you feel positively different....

@Raymond thank you!

Hey @Fullhealing

 

Ive just read your posts and it seems that you’ve been struggling recently. How are you feeling today?
Withdrawl is such an inhumane experience at times. It definitely gets better with time so just hang in there as best you can, better days are on the way! 

Hey @Fullhealing

Nice to see you getting support. I strongly suggest you slow down on the taper and hold, hold, hold. Your body is dependent on this drug... rushing the taper will not help. Your body has to set the pace...it needs you to listen closely. 

Right now 'stabilizing is more important than cessation'...quote from the taper coach Chris Paige.

Really hoping things settle for you soon... patience and acceptance. ❤️🙏

@NBJ71 @LostinCanada Thank you!

Bed day today, no work, just rest, the flare-ups of the last few days have taken their toll, my body was completely broken and exhausted but now after hours of rest it seems to be improving a bit with less burning and pain, my mind is still a bundle of trouble but less intense at least for now.

Regarding dosage, learned a painful lesson.. no changes until significant improvement for sure.

10 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

@NBJ71 @LostinCanada Thank you!

Bed day today, no work, just rest, the flare-ups of the last few days have taken their toll, my body was completely broken and exhausted but now after hours of rest it seems to be improving a bit with less burning and pain, my mind is still a bundle of trouble but less intense at least for now.

Regarding dosage, learned a painful lesson.. no changes until significant improvement for sure.

Definitely keep holding.  You are in a small dose.  The more you hold, the better your stability will be to taper.

 

I read stories and even Coach Chris Paige that they hold until symptoms pretty much gone before they continue taper.  I believe that once the CNS, mind, and body are stable, going down might be smoother...

Hey, checking in for the first time. Glad to have you here and I’ll follow along with your tapering journey. Keep fighting on, and be mindful of your cuts, try to stabilise bit by bit if you can so you can dampen as much sensitivity occurring throughout your CNS. Tapering too quickly is just going to further sensitise yourself and possibly amplify and heighten your symptoms further. Try to find some balance in there and let your body signal to you when you should hold, readjust or cut, depending on your symptoms over a few weeks or longer if need be. 
 

I’m not personally experienced in this as I CT’d quite heavily and then rapidly cut over the span of a few weeks and my nervous system quite literally exploded. That burning sensation is a sign your nervous system is heavily dysregulated. Mine was all over my body and was 1000/10 pain, felt like I was dipped in lava for about a year straight. I no longer get that symptom, and if I do get a resurgence, it’s faint, and goes away within a day or two at most. 
 

If I can come out mostly on the other end from some NASTY stuff from essentially a full blown CT, then you’ll do fine in time once the drug is out of your system entirely. I’m a firm believer that true healing doesn’t take place until the drug is completely out. It gives the brain and nervous system a clean slate to recalibrate from. But it takes some time for some of us unfortunately. 
 

Be patient though, finish your tapering safely and reassess from there, some bounce back quite quickly, for others their healing journey begins there, but you will heal. 

4 minutes ago, Jack said:

Mine was all over my body and was 1000/10 pain,

Same here.   Terrible symptoms.  It was like if someone throw me into a volcano...all over the body.   Now, it comes in few parts of body only and when anxious..

6 minutes ago, Jack said:

I’m a firm believer that true healing doesn’t take place until the drug is completely out

Totally true.  What the medication is doing currently in my body is smoother ride...

2 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Same here.   Terrible symptoms.  It was like if someone throw me into a volcano...all over the body.   Now, it comes in few parts of body only and when anxious..

Oh brother, I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. I’ve been through pain that I couldn’t even fathom was possible for the human body to experience. 
 

Good to see yours isn’t as bad these days mate, soon you won’t experience at all.