5 minutes ago, Finni said:

Thank you both so very much ❤️

You are very welcome. I’m looking forward to you feeling a bit easier. 

Hi @Finni I just copied a bit of our conversation on BB here:

 

"On 19/01/2026 at 13:35, Finni said:

An hour after I take it, I usually feel another hit of yucky adrenaline like activation, sometimes a little nauseated

 

This does sound like a reaction.

 

 On 19/01/2026 at 13:35, Finni said:

My primary care doctor suggested I go down to 13.13 mg tonight and see how I do. I’m not sure if I’m brave enough right now.

 

I can understand your reluctance. You obviously don't want to make things worse. If it is a reaction, going down in dose is a good idea. But as we know, going down to quickly can bring more issues. Dropping using a 10% maximum to limit withdrawal might be a safer way to go. That would be 13.5 mg or you could even try 14 or 14.5 mg."

 

I know it is impossible to remember all the information when you are suffering. I do think it is good though to hear the same advice from multiple people in helping make an informed decision.

 

I am so sorry you are struggling with this. ❤️🙏

3 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

Hi @Finni I just copied a bit of our conversation on BB here:

 

"On 19/01/2026 at 13:35, Finni said:

An hour after I take it, I usually feel another hit of yucky adrenaline like activation, sometimes a little nauseated

 

This does sound like a reaction.

 

 On 19/01/2026 at 13:35, Finni said:

My primary care doctor suggested I go down to 13.13 mg tonight and see how I do. I’m not sure if I’m brave enough right now.

 

I can understand your reluctance. You obviously don't want to make things worse. If it is a reaction, going down in dose is a good idea. But as we know, going down to quickly can bring more issues. Dropping using a 10% maximum to limit withdrawal might be a safer way to go. That would be 13.5 mg or you could even try 14 or 14.5 mg."

 

I know it is impossible to remember all the information when you are suffering. I do think it is good though to hear the same advice from multiple people in helping make an informed decision.

 

I am so sorry you are struggling with this. ❤️🙏

When I was talking to you and find rest on benzo buddies, we thought that going down 2.5% might be a good start, but that’s when I freaked out and added back in that little bit in the middle of the night so I never gave it much of a chance. Now that I’m even way way worse than I was then I’m tempted to try 5%. I don’t know if I’m thinking clearly

Maybe I should track it a couple more days I just don’t know
Today’s symptoms are over the top, squeezing and bracing in my back and neck muscles to the point where it’s painful 

My head is tight and really foggy and I feel like I’m about 10% here on the planet.

Thank you so much for your input ❤️

Edited February 21Feb 21 by Finni

17 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

I do think it is good though to hear the same advice from multiple people

I have a lot of people telling me to hold on benzo buddies, and on this site too. I’ve never been so miserable or so scared.

1 hour ago, Finni said:

Maybe I should track it a couple more days I just don’t know

Hey @Finni this is a really good idea.
 

I’d strongly advise you listen to Getofflex I agree fully with what she has said. It’s why I wanted you to make a diary. I was looking for solid evidence of an ADR. 
 

Please reread what she has said and take note of it all carefully. Especially about the bit about being deliberate. 

 

It’s so important to make clear decisions here and I know that is hard in your position. 

We are all here for you. 

 

Chippy

1 hour ago, getofflex said:

after a few days, you feel that you are having this adverse reaction to it, try dropping from 15 mg to 14 mg, and see if that helps.  This is tricky, because I believe you may be dealing with both an adverse reaction, plus withdrawal.  The trick will be to try and reduce the drug, to reduce the ADR (adverse reaction), but without making the withdrawal symptoms worse than those of the ADR.  

I agree wholeheartedly with this...my quote from BB was added to back up what Getofflex said.... keep tracking and if you consistently see a pattern of worsening symptoms after taking your dose, it really is a reaction to the mirt. Then as mentioned by us both, slowly decreasing to get relief without triggering withdrawal. 

 

This has been going on for so long that I don’t know if I really need to keep a new log. I could just re-create days I’ve already had in the last week, especially
 

This current surge has been going on for 3 1/2 hours like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It is absolutely terrifying- horrible overwhelm tight muscles burning, panic, of course.

It’s like my body got so activated last night that it cannot calm down. 

I remember on benzo buddies LIC @LostinCanada provided something she found on ChatGPT about mirtazapine and cortisol. It’s like the Norepinephrine in mirtazapine and cortisol can really clash and be very hard on sensitive systems throughout the morning and early afternoon. That is totally in line with my surges.

This has been the biggest surge I’ve ever had today. It’s actually still going on.  I’m not able to sit down and I’m go in and out of terror and crying. 

Edited February 21Feb 21 by Finni

@Finni We are all with you whatever you decide but please remember deliberate is key. No rash moves. 

02/21-2/22

 

10:00 am -3:30 pm peak of intense symptoms :muscle clenching in solar plexus, back, pelvis and significant bouncing, rocking sensations, panic, deep nerve sensations in stomach, crying, bouts of terror

5:00-6:00 symptoms starting to fade

8:15 pm took 15 mg Mirtazapine 

8:30 pm vibrating, brief sense of dread and nausea, tailbone and stomach burning 

9:00 (approx) fell asleep

12:30 am woke up vibrating, anxious rocking sensations- went back to sleep

4:00 am rumbling and pounding in back and stomach, anxiety, restless 

5:00 am intensity like yesterday in stomach - twisting deep electric heat

hsnds shaking, internal shuddering, increased rocking and bouncing and pulling sensations, terror rising

Hey @Finni checking in with you. I keep reading your drug history and I have to wonder how much of this is still from your fast taper off the benzos and depakote. It is not unusual for withdrawal symptoms to show up 6-9 months after jumping off a drug. 

There are a few factors at play here for sure. Just know we are here for you and no matter what, the symptoms will fade as your body makes the needed adjustments. 

❤️🙏

@LostinCanada

i’ve never felt anything anywhere close to this alarming and distressing until the last few weeks.

After that little tiny bit of Mirtazapine I added in the middle of the night after trying to taper. It feels like it just pushed something over the edge.

28 minutes ago, Finni said:

feels like it just pushed something over the edge.

It's good you can pinpoint it...it probably pushed your allostatic load to the limit. It's so hard to be patient...try to do all you can to eat well, stay hydrated, minimize stress...

❤️🙏

2/22-2/23

8:00 am-1:30 pm peak symptoms: surges of deep twisting nerve sensations in stomach and pelvis; vibrating tailbone and head; terror; head squeezing and intermittent stabs of pain; pacing intermittent; crying; despair

 

increased vestibular rocking, dropping remained constant all day; disassociated most of day; after ~1:30 pm afraid to get off bed due to vestibular symptoms

4:00 pm vibration in back turned on and stayed 

7:30-8:30 pm dozed on and off 

8:30 pm awoke in terror

8:30 pm took Mirtazapine 

~10:00 pm -12:30 am:

restless, vibrating, sweating

1:00?-3:30 am slept

3:30 am rumbling, rotary motor heat in back; building panic, bouncing sensations, nausea, burning pelvis 

4:10 am motorized, accelerating sensations; terror rising; deep twisting in stomach 

 

 

Edited February 23Feb 23 by Finni

2/23-2/24

symptoms for most of the day again, building as the day went on until around 3:30 pm

very frightening electricity spreading sensations deep 

vestibular symptoms over the top- never turned off completely 

Burning, vibrating, electric sensations 

Derrealization 

needed to pace for most of morning 

6:00 pm stayed on bed watching Netflix 

8:15 mirt 15 mg

fell asleep 

10:10 woke up vibrating, sweating, bouncing/rocking being pulled “on a carnival ride” sensations

light sleep on and off 

3:43 am - rising panic, carnival ride continues , pounding in lower back and stomach; feel like whole body is pulsing 

hands shaking

 

9 weeks holding at 15 mg 

5 weeks since “dose disruption” 

 

~ 12 days since vestibular symptoms became almost constant 

And disassociation more prevalent

Edited February 24Feb 24 by Finni

From ChatGPT 

 

 

Edited February 24Feb 24 by Finni

I’m sorry your symptoms are very nasty indeed. It must be very frightening. 
 

I’m not sure I can see a pattern of worsening symptoms after your dose. You seem quite consistent all day from what you’ve posted. Which is awful. 
 

Can you feel you worsen after taking your dose? 

It feels like it just kicks off the cycle all over again after I take my dose. 

Symptoms calm eventually, but never really go away anymore, but then after I take my dose, the whole cycle starts all over again.

I do feel a shift after dosing- sometimes soon after the dose sometimes a couple of hours. 

Morning cortisol is now brutal. 
My baseline is worsening for sure.

Edited February 24Feb 24 by Finni

13 minutes ago, Finni said:

It feels like it just kicks off the cycle all over again after I take my dose. 

Symptoms calm eventually, but never really go away anymore, but then after I take my dose, the whole cycle starts all over again.

I do feel a shift after dosing- sometimes soon after the dose sometimes a couple of hours. 

Morning cortisol is now brutal. 
My baseline is worsening for sure.

It's obviously your choice. If thats what you are feeling then you may well be finding this dose too much for your system and if thats the case getting the drug load down will help. But it's not easy to taper your way out. You need to go careful. It's a balancing act of trying to reduce the ADR without adding WD symptoms that are worse than the ADR whilst not being stable in the first place which can cause kindling. It's a tough call but might be the right one.

 

If you really feel that the drug is making you worse then try dropping to 14mg (about a 5% reduction) and see how you react. Remember you want to be consistent. Hold that dose steady and make sure you make it accurately each day using your scales. No sudden up doses just stay at 14mg.

Just did the maths its a 6.67% reduction.

3 minutes ago, Chippy said:

It's obviously your choice. If thats what you are feeling then you may well be finding this dose too much for your system and if thats the case getting the drug load down will help. But it's not easy to taper your way out. You need to go careful. It's a balancing act of trying to reduce the ADR without adding WD symptoms that are worse than the ADR whilst not being stable in the first place which can cause kindling. It's a tough call but might be the right one.

 

If you really feel that the drug is making you worse then try dropping to 14mg (about a 5% reduction) and see how you react. Remember you want to be consistent. Hold that dose steady and make sure you make it accurately each day using your scales. No sudden up doses just stay at 14mg.

I think I’m already kindled. 
Does already being kindled mean I should taper even slower than 5%?

 

I talk to my psychiatrist today at 4 PM my time. I’ve been trying to talk to her for about six weeks now. I have a feeling she’s going to recommend I start tapering. Of course her taper suggestion will probably be much larger than what we know to be safe. 

I talked to a psychiatric nurse practitioner Thursday and she wanted me to try propanolol to steady me as I slowly came off of mirtazapine, but I don’t want to risk reacting to propanolol like I’ve done before.

14 minutes ago, Finni said:

I think I’m already kindled. 
Does already being kindled mean I should taper even slower than 5%?

Not really. It just means your system is irritated by making changes whilst unstable. If you were able to stabilise having been unstable you might try a 5% drop or even less to test the waters but here you are trying to get your drug load down, but safely so 5% is a cautious dose compared to 10%.

Some taper the Brass Money slide out of poop out or ADRs @ 10% per month. So that would be 2.5% per week for 4 weeks to make it a little easier followed by a 2 week hold just allows the WD symptoms to catch up, so a 6 week cycle. Thats always an option I quite like the idea myself. You could do that. Just drop 2.5% and see how you feel. Then if it goes ok in 7 days do the same again. Again it is totally your call. Just be consistent.

 

14 minutes ago, Finni said:

I talk to my psychiatrist today at 4 PM my time. I’ve been trying to talk to her for about six weeks now. I have a feeling she’s going to recommend I start tapering. Of course her taper suggestion will probably be much larger than what we know to be safe. 

Yes well as you know you dont want to drop more than 10% in a month.

 

14 minutes ago, Finni said:

I talked to a psychiatric nurse practitioner Thursday and she wanted me to try propanolol to steady me as I slowly came off of mirtazapine, but I don’t want to risk reacting to propanolol like I’ve done before.

No I wouldn't add any fuel to this fire Finni. 

@Chippy

I’ll read about Brass Monkey 🐒

Thanks for the info 

8 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Chippy

I’ll read about Brass Monkey 🐒

Thanks for the info 

Brass Monkey Slide

@Finni you can reduce as much as you feel comfortable with. If 5% feels like too much, then do less. 

If you start getting some relief with a reduction, it will be proof that this dose is too much...if there is no difference then trying a bit more of a drop could be considered. If anything worsens, then we know you have to sit and wait it out.

It is all up to your body ...it will let you know. ❤️🙏

8 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

@Finni you can reduce as much as you feel comfortable with. If 5% feels like too much, then do less. 

If you start getting some relief with a reduction, it will be proof that this dose is too much...if there is no difference then trying a bit more of a drop could be considered. If anything worsens, then we know you have to sit and wait it out.

It is all up to your body ...it will let you know. ❤️🙏

I like how you laid that out ❤️

Thank you