6 minutes ago, Finni said:

I just meant I was trying to update my symptoms in a post-not my medication/signature 🙂

Oh I see. No sorry you only get 60 mins to edit a post. If you need, tag me and I can combine them for you, but ideally perhaps do one post a day 🙂 

2/26/26

1:12 pm

I’m scared of the intensity of the dark thoughts now at midday. I was having some yesterday evening.

I feel very, very removed from myself and totally electric and like I’ve been taken over by a darkness and nightmare quality. Combined with the increased rocking bouncing floating sensations, it’s very challenging, to put it mildly. 

Please remember thoughts and feelings aren't facts...we don't need to act on them....if you are in crisis, never hesitate to go to the hospital to stay safe. 

Are you able to do anything to distract...read, play games on your phone, go for a walk, CBT, deep breathing, mindfulness, etc?

19 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

Please remember thoughts and feelings aren't facts...we don't need to act on them....if you are in crisis, never hesitate to go to the hospital to stay safe. 

Are you able to do anything to distract...read, play games on your phone, go for a walk, CBT, deep breathing, mindfulness, etc?

I’m able to play games for awhile and then all of a sudden, panic engulfs me, overwhelming dread drops into stomach and then adrenaline hits and I usually need to get on my feet and walk. Very frightened by outside right now. if only I could feel more in my body and more like I was really myself I could do some more things like mindfulness, grounding, stepping outside... occasionally I can do things like that but today is not one of those times.

 

 

2/26/26 

6:33 pm 

i’m just posting this by itself because I am in so much distress. This feels like a full on panic attack. Evenings are usually hard for me on 15 mg mirt- I keep saying it feels like it drops away around four or 5 PM before my 8:15 PM dose

I guess with the little I reduced, it’s even more noticeable.

It’s a very, very miserable experience oh my gosh. What a crappy deal to feel activated at night and in the morning and then like I’m in cold Turkey in the afternoon and evening. 
I just can’t get over the intensity from just the .3 mg difference

3 hours ago, Finni said:

2/26/26 

6:33 pm 

i’m just posting this by itself because I am in so much distress. This feels like a full on panic attack. Evenings are usually hard for me on 15 mg mirt- I keep saying it feels like it drops away around four or 5 PM before my 8:15 PM dose

I guess with the little I reduced, it’s even more noticeable.

It’s a very, very miserable experience oh my gosh. What a crappy deal to feel activated at night and in the morning and then like I’m in cold Turkey in the afternoon and evening. 
I just can’t get over the intensity from just the .3 mg difference

Thinking of you @Finni you're a true warrior and you’ve got this. We’re all here for you. Xxx

2/26-2/27

Overall flavor of 2/26:

surges have less amplitude/less intense adrenaline

internal vibrations small and fast; more burning in stomach, back and tailbone 

increased nausea waves

increased panic and terror 

MidMorning: increased fogginess and disassociation and more intense rocking/floating 

vision “off”

Afternoon and evening: increased feeling of withdrawal /something is missing/“I can’t take this” 

6:00-8:15 pm swing from panic to being able to watch Netflix then panic again with burning in tailbone 

8:15 pm 14.7 mg Mirtazapine 

8:35 rumbling, burning, dread

fall asleep 

10:30 pm wake up from nightmare

sleep again with some brief wakeups with flashes of panic

4:30 am awake for good: rumbling and burning lower back; feeling of withdrawal/something missing in head

extreme movement sensations in bed 

hands tremor, tight back and neck muscles, very worried 

 

wish I had started with 1% cut

 

5:24 am

i’m adding to this because I’m really scared as I try to walk around

it feels like my head is shaking and I’m falling through the floor

I know I’ve had these sensations before, but it just feels more intense with more of that “I’ve gone cold Turkey” feeling 

 

Edited February 27Feb 27 by Finni

32 minutes ago, Finni said:

2/26-2/27

Overall flavor of 2/26:

surges have less amplitude/less intense adrenaline

internal vibrations small and fast; more burning in stomach, back and tailbone 

increased nausea waves

increased panic and terror 

MidMorning: increased fogginess and disassociation and more intense rocking/floating 

vision “off”

Afternoon and evening: increased feeling of withdrawal /something is missing/“I can’t take this” 

6:00-8:15 pm swing from panic to being able to watch Netflix then panic again with burning in tailbone 

8:15 pm 14.7 mg Mirtazapine 

8:35 rumbling, burning, dread

fall asleep 

10:30 pm wake up from nightmare

sleep again with some brief wakeups with flashes of panic

4:30 am awake for good: rumbling and burning lower back; feeling of withdrawal/something missing in head

extreme movement sensations in bed 

hands tremor, tight back and neck muscles, very worried 

 

wish I had started with 1% cut

 

Hi @Finni jumping in to say hello.

So sorry you're having hard times, we share very similar symptoms and it's no other then brutal.

Hope things get better for you very soon.

Hold on, it's a tough journey but we'll get through it.

@Chippy

@LostinCanada

 

if I can’t hang at this level, do I try one percent cut tonight?

 

another question:

Since mirt is so activating, I can’t keep incrementally increasing the dose to get to a more stable place…

in a case like this, do people ever try a totally different antidepressant to add on?

I don’t want to go back on a benzo, but I just don’t know if I’m going to stabilize

 

My stepfather’s passing right in the middle of all of this seemed to really shock my nervous system even more

He was like a father to me for 46 years

 

Edited February 27Feb 27 by Finni

Just now, Finni said:

@Chippy

@LostinCanada

 

if I can’t hang at this level, do I try one percent cut tonight?

@Finni your brain needs some stability. Just stick with this dose for at least a week. x

Okay whew

thank you ❤️

Hey @Finni just popping in to say I’m with you in the swamp of Mirt withdrawal and to say how sorry I am to read of your stepfathers passing.

I hope you get some easing of symptoms very soon ❤️

11 minutes ago, Emsy said:

Hey @Finni just popping in to say I’m with you in the swamp of Mirt withdrawal and to say how sorry I am to read of your stepfathers passing.

I hope you get some easing of symptoms very soon ❤️

Thank you ❤️ ✨ 

3 hours ago, Finni said:

another question:

Since mirt is so activating, I can’t keep incrementally increasing the dose to get to a more stable place…

in a case like this, do people ever try a totally different antidepressant to add on?

I don’t want to go back on a benzo, but I just don’t know if I’m going to stabilize

No you don't want to be adding any more AD to your system Finni. We are working on the basis you need less drug not more.....

 

People do try other ADs, not on here but before they get here. Doctors call this a switch. It is basically a CT from one drug and then throwing another on top, its always a complete disaster and not something you should think about.

 

Benzos are brakes and can calm the activation but we wouldn't suggest you use them to help deal with WD. I know some do (not on here or SA!) but I personally would advise against it. Trust your body and the process. 🙂 

 

3 hours ago, Finni said:

My stepfather’s passing right in the middle of all of this seemed to really shock my nervous system even more

He was like a father to me for 46 years

Im so very sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you are your family. 😞

 

2 hours ago, Finni said:

 

 

My stepfather’s passing right in the middle of all of this seemed to really shock my nervous system even more

He was like a father to me for 46 years

 

Goodness, it's such a tough process already, I'm so very sorry, my condolences 💔❤️

13 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Goodness, it's such a tough process already, I'm so very sorry, my condolences 💔❤️

Thank you ❤️✨

Now that this dose is really settling in I think my nervous system is more angry than it was before. I’m so sorry. I just didn’t know.
This late morning cns surge is absolutely brutal. 

31 minutes ago, Finni said:

Now that this dose is really settling in I think my nervous system is more angry than it was before. I’m so sorry. I just didn’t know.
This late morning cns surge is absolutely brutal. 

So sorry Finni. Scary time for you I know. The brain needs some time to register the change in dose. Also symptoms naturally fluctuate anyway so it might not be the drop. Stability is key. I’d hold my ground if it were me. 

@Finni please explain what has gotten worse since the drop....has anything gotten better? 

12 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

@Finni please explain what has gotten worse since the drop....has anything gotten better? 

The things that got better after the first dose, I slept pretty well that night… and yesterday after that dose, I didn’t have any huge adrenaline surges,  just felt like I was in withdrawal and was uncomfortable and panicked with terror flashes. 
last night, I woke up with more terror than the night before and the morning today started off not too bad just again felt like I was in withdrawal… now it’s late morning and I feel like all of the old symptoms are just pounding back—  the big adrenaline pounding in my body, the electrical

stomach and back, bigger bouncier vestibular symptoms-  but now it’s mixed in with the new layer of terror and withdrawal feeling. 

Because there has been some improvement, I think this is the right direction.... please try to be patient...it is so hard, I know. 

Once those WD feelings settle, and they will, you will be in a better place. ❤️🙏

@LostinCanada

Thank you ❤️

 

 

I think/I wonder if  it’s just my nervous system was set into motion by all of the changes and it seems to just have a mind of its own… My brain had something something else to focus on for a while with the little reduction but now that novelty is gone and I’m just back to where I was - that’s the sense I’m getting anyway.

This is some intense pressure in my body from all of the adrenaline. Getting a couple of nights away from it and one day and one morning away from it made me forget how intense it could be! 
It /the cns surges completely overtakes me and just slams me with pounding adrenaline for hours. 

 

If my body is just going to keep doing this, it seems like it would be better to stay at 15 mg because then at least I know I’m getting the same dose every time. Exactly with a complete pill and no weighing involved.

Edited February 27Feb 27 by Finni

Seems that I’m much more terrorized by the adrenaline today-  it just completely takes me over and floods my thinking it feels like I’m dying. 
Lots and lots of praying to stay alive. It’s very very intense. It’s been like that before some days-  today just seems worse. I don’t I don’t know if it really is or not.

I keep having questions so I’m just going to post another one here.
Even though I wasn’t on those higher doses of mirtazapine for very long, is the real culprit here the fact that my dose increased so much up to 22.5 mg and my rapid return to 15 mg?

 

I guess I thought since I hadn’t been on those doses for very long I could just go through them pretty quickly on my way back down, but maybe it was that rapid return that really destabilized me.

Maybe it doesn’t matter what dose I’m on right now as far as as long as I keep it steady.

Maybe I’m going to react to anything and everything.

Maybe I just have to face the fact that it’s going to take time.

 

I guess my nervous system registered all those big cuts, even though I didn’t think they were big at the time.

 

I don’t wanna keep making cuts if it’s just going to keep destabilizing me

1 hour ago, Finni said:

real culprit here the fact that my dose increased so much up to 22.5 mg and my rapid return to 15 mg?

It sure didn't help.

1 hour ago, Finni said:

Maybe I just have to face the fact that it’s going to take time.

Time will bring this around. ❤️🙏