I was just reading about kindling and I’m afraid I’m going to be in this hell a long time. I’m terrified. 
 

7 minutes ago, Finni said:

reading about kindling and I’m afraid I’m going to be in this hell a long time. I’m terrified

Don't get ahead of yourself...most of us have kindled to be honest. My CNS is highly sensitive due to multiple CT and reinstatements and drug switches. We just have to be calm and trust the process. Our bodies want to reach homeostasis. Reducing stress is so key. We can't change where we are but we can change how we respond to the situation. Acceptance, kindness, eating healthy, being balanced in all we do. ❤️🙏

Thank you so much for saying that

 

The surges I have, especially in the middle of the day, bring a lot of I guess adrenaline and with adrenaline, and maybe cortisol comes all of the doom and gloom. It’s hard for me to see my way out of this in the middle of these overwhelming chemical storms.

1 minute ago, LostinCanada said:

Don't get ahead of yourself...most of us have kindled to be honest. My CNS is highly sensitive due to multiple CT and reinstatements and drug switches. We just have to be calm and trust the process. Our bodies want to reach homeostasis. Reducing stress is so key. We can't change where we are but we can change how we respond to the situation. Acceptance, kindness, eating healthy, being balanced in all we do. ❤️🙏

Oh 100% @Finni don’t be scared. I think the term seems to drive fear for some reason. It’s not this mysterious scary thing. As LIC said most have experienced it. It’s not something you’ve caught and can’t get rid of. 
 

Everything LIC has said here is so true. You will be ok! Just one day at a time. 

Just now, Chippy said:

Oh 100% @Finni don’t be scared. I think the term seems to drive fear for some reason. It’s not this mysterious scary thing. As LIC said most have experienced it. It’s not something you’ve caught and can’t get rid of. 
 

Everything LIC has said here is so true. You will be ok! Just one day at a time. 

Bless you. I’m terrified so thank you so much for the reassurance.

1 minute ago, Finni said:

Thank you so much for saying that

 

The surges I have, especially in the middle of the day, bring a lot of I guess adrenaline and with adrenaline, and maybe cortisol comes all of the doom and gloom. It’s hard for me to see my way out of this in the middle of these overwhelming chemical storms.

Oh definitely @NT1100B calls it the wave brain. It’s hard to see things properly when you’re in the middle of it. 

6 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Oh definitely @NT1100B calls it the wave brain. It’s hard to see things properly when you’re in the middle of it. 

Wave brain for sure! 

One more thing-

if mirt is not providing much calming anymore, is it the same as being in poop out? 
I guess probably not because up until the time it was increased in December,  it was only sometimes activating. And was probably providing quite a bit of stability.

So I guess if I am having an adverse reaction, it would just add to the kindling effect and that would be another reason to slowly get off or reduce? Am I understanding that? Does ADR add to kindling? 

30 minutes ago, Finni said:

 it was only sometimes activating.

This is a really important clue...your body was trying to tell you time to get off it.

9 minutes ago, Finni said:

Does ADR add to kindling?

No matter what the terminology, an ADR will further sensitize your CNS....this will add stress to it. We want to lessen those stressors.

11 minutes ago, Finni said:

would be another reason to slowly get off or reduce?

Exactly 

36 minutes ago, Finni said:

One more thing-

if mirt is not providing much calming anymore, is it the same as being in poop out? 
I guess probably not because up until the time it was increased in December,  it was only sometimes activating. And was probably providing quite a bit of stability.

Poop out is described as the drug stopping ‘working’. Some say it causes wd like symptoms. I think it’s hard to spot it. I think sometimes people think they experience it and they aren’t actually. It’s a tricky subject. 
The answer is the same as an ADR, carefully taper your way out of it. 
 

15 minutes ago, Finni said:

So I guess if I am having an adverse reaction, it would just add to the kindling effect and that would be another reason to slowly get off or reduce? Am I understanding that? Does ADR add to kindling

Certainly continuing to have an ADR from the drug would further irritate your nervous system. And yes that’s why in either case ADR or poop out holding isn’t best.

I know I’m being incredibly obsessive right now, but I truly am worried about how we really know if it’s an ADR or not. If holding longer is going to help me, I want to do that, but if it’s going to hurt me, of course I don’t want to go that route…

ugh!

 

I’m trying to get some good questions together for the psychiatry appointment in a couple of hours. 

My psychiatrist likes the brass monkey idea as long as I keep going because she really wants me to lower this load.
So 2.5% each week for four weeks and then hold for two weeks.

I guess I’ll see how it goes.

She said that I’m not going to feel better probably until I get down some so she doesn’t think I can just go by how I feel

Edited February 24Feb 24 by Finni

7 minutes ago, Finni said:

as long as I keep going because she really wants me to lower this load.

Your body has to set the pace... keep detailed notes of any changes.... holding when symptoms flare is so important. It is about finding your sweet spot.

I was so activated today— it seemed  like I was just in one big wave that kept ramping up.

It’s so confusing and feels so much like some sort of withdrawal that I chickened out and took my regular dose at 8:15 PM. 🤦‍♀️ 

Now it’s 8:40 PM and I’m kicking myself as my body starts the sickening feeling, heat, pounding, rocking, bouncing all over again. 
It’s hard to accept that what used to put me to sleep so beautifully is now doing this. 

Hey @Finni

 

Im so sorry it’s hard to adjust to how things have changed so quickly and you’re now dealing with such terrible symptoms. 
 

I like the BM guide a lot. However don’t let it rule you. Just one day at a time. If you feel you are worse after your drug. Do the 2.5% drop and see how you feel. If it’s not significantly worse then stick at that for 7 days and see how you are then. You can reassess. 
 

All these taper plans are just guides and always need to be adjusted as you go. 
 

I agree with LIC your body is your best guide. There is something in needing to get the dose down to feel the benefit but remember the balancing act of not too fast. Your body will be your best guide. 
 

As I said one day at a time. 
 

Chippy

Thank you ❤️

 

 

@Chippy

@LostinCanada

I want to thank you both so much for taking the time and energy to help me while you’re in the midst of your own struggles. It means the world to me. ❤️❤️

Edited February 25Feb 25 by Finni

2 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Chippy

@LostinCanada

I want to thank you both so much for taking the time and energy to help me while you’re in the midst of your own struggles. It means the world to me. ❤️❤️

@Finni It is an absolute pleasure you try to help you the best we can. We must all stick together to get though this. xxx

2/24-2/25/2026

Intense from early morning and slowly ramping combinations of electricity sensations,  burning, flashes of terror and flashes of nausea, intense, anxiety, throughout the day that eventually settled around 7 PM

The peak of the symptoms was probably noon through 5 PM. 

7 PM: able to eat and watch Netflix, even though activated

Constant vestibular activity, finally starting to ease

8:15 PM 15 mg Mirtazapine 

8:30 started getting sleepy

8:40 pm heat, dread, sweating, pounding in back, rocking/bouncing sensations increased

10:00 pm to 2:00 am

Slept on and off with awareness of activation going on underneath

2:00 am awake with burning in stomach and a feeling of terror and dread in stomach. Panic started to rise.
Continued activation, especially at 5 AM with feelings of pressure in chest very tight muscle muscles in torso

7:00 am Full head, bouncing, rocking, swaying sensations

Horrible anxiety and terror drops into stomach

Burning chest and pressure in whole body

Edited February 25Feb 25 by Finni

@Finni ❤️🙏

I know for this to be successful, you have to wrap your brain around it and be committed... One day at a time. ❤️🙏

1 hour ago, LostinCanada said:

@Finni ❤️🙏

I know for this to be successful, you have to wrap your brain around it and be committed... One day at a time. ❤️🙏

I know you’re right. ❤️

 

The reactions are getting so big and so billboard like that my brain is starting to get the message and see the big picture. 

14 hours ago, Finni said:

I know you’re right. ❤️

 

The reactions are getting so big and so billboard like that my brain is starting to get the message and see the big picture. 

Sounds like you are starting to know what your next step is.

)2/25-2/26

4:00 pm big withdrawal like symptoms and despair (that something is missing from my brain feeling and electricity pounding in different parts of my body)

surge of weeping for about an hour

6:00 pm calmer but cried on and off throughout evening 

8:15 pm took 14.7 mg Mirtazapine 

fell asleep quickly

awake at times but no big symptoms

2:30 am some panic and rocking sensations 

went back to sleep

4:30 am woke up with a flash of terror but stayed relaxed in bed 

5:15 am pounding and rumbling in torso

panic and tightening muscles in solar plexus 

electricity pelvis

 

4 minutes ago, Finni said:

)2/25-2/26

4:00 pm big withdrawal like symptoms and despair (that something is missing from my brain feeling and electricity pounding in different parts of my body)

surge of weeping for about an hour

6:00 pm calmer but cried on and off throughout evening 

8:15 pm took 14.7 mg Mirtazapine 

fell asleep quickly

awake at times but no big symptoms

2:30 am some panic and rocking sensations 

went back to sleep

4:30 am woke up with a flash of terror but stayed relaxed in bed 

5:15 am pounding and rumbling in torso

panic and tightening muscles in solar plexus 

electricity pelvis

 

Thanks @Finni I see you did a 2% drop. Looks like you didnt react to that. If anything I read you as a bit better last night, would you agree?