It’s Thursday, March 5
Yesterday I was at a 9/10 for symptoms, severity that seemed to stay locked on for most of the day.

Night time was really rough feeling like I was in withdrawal with head pressure and lots of anxiety

I cried a lot, not from depression, but just because my body and nervous system were so overwhelmed, and it felt like I was being taken out.

Now it’s morning. And I feel like I am in horrible withdrawal feeling like I’m barely here. Super bouncy. Muscles are so tight in my neck and back.

Crying from fear because it feels like this is dangerous

Waves of nausea and feeling almost like I’m about to pass out from the extreme stress that my brain is under.

It’s really, really scary

 

It’s like I have to choose between taking 15 mg of mirtazapine and having all of the electrical deep sensations and adrenaline pounding me really hard and going into withdrawal which is a different kind of scary

 

It seems like this withdrawal type feeling is scarier than the other

 

Of course it’s easy to say that when I’m right in the middle of it, but it does feel scarier than anything I’ve experienced I think

. That little 2% might’ve just been enough to push my nervous system past it point.

I so wish that I were talking to Mark Horowitz today

I hate to go back up, but I also don’t want to stay at this level of stress and fear

2 hours ago, Finni said:

It’s Thursday, March 5
Yesterday I was at a 9/10 for symptoms, severity that seemed to stay locked on for most of the day.

Night time was really rough feeling like I was in withdrawal with head pressure and lots of anxiety

I cried a lot, not from depression, but just because my body and nervous system were so overwhelmed, and it felt like I was being taken out.

Now it’s morning. And I feel like I am in horrible withdrawal feeling like I’m barely here. Super bouncy. Muscles are so tight in my neck and back.

Crying from fear because it feels like this is dangerous

Waves of nausea and feeling almost like I’m about to pass out from the extreme stress that my brain is under.

It’s really, really scary

 

It’s like I have to choose between taking 15 mg of mirtazapine and having all of the electrical deep sensations and adrenaline pounding me really hard and going into withdrawal which is a different kind of scary

 

It seems like this withdrawal type feeling is scarier than the other

 

Of course it’s easy to say that when I’m right in the middle of it, but it does feel scarier than anything I’ve experienced I think

. That little 2% might’ve just been enough to push my nervous system past it point.

I so wish that I were talking to Mark Horowitz today

I hate to go back up, but I also don’t want to stay at this level of stress and fear

So sorry @Finni not a word about dosage etc. but I'll say I feel you strongly, it's such a brutal place to be and yet you surviving it, you're stronger than you feel.

I'd like to point out that from my experience, almost the entire way I was in a catastrophic place, almost without breaks and although it's still brutal now at least it's becoming a bit more bearable so I do believe that with hold and time things will balance out so maybe it's still worth waiting..

In any case, I wish you with all my heart relief in whatever way you choose to do! 🙏

Edited March 5Mar 5 by Fullhealing

24 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

So sorry @Finni not a word about dosage etc. but I'll say I feel you strongly, it's such a brutal place to be and yet you surviving it, you're stronger than you feel.

I'd like to point out that from my experience, almost the entire way I was in a catastrophic place, almost without breaks and although it's still brutal now at least it's becoming a bit more bearable so I do believe that with hold and time things will balance out so maybe it's still worth waiting..

In any case, I wish you with all my heart relief in whatever way you choose to do! 🙏

Thank you so much!

I’m feeling sorry for myself because I had no intention of even coming off of mirtazapine. It wasn’t doing anything that noticeable until they increased the dose.

 

Love and light to you ✨✨✨

37 minutes ago, Finni said:

Thank you so much!

I’m feeling sorry for myself because I had no intention of even coming off of mirtazapine. It wasn’t doing anything that noticeable until they increased the dose.

 

Love and light to you ✨✨✨

Just hold on to hope, you will figure it out!!

Love&light back 💞

Edited March 5Mar 5 by Fullhealing

Sending you some love @Finni hate seeing you suffer. You are a true warrior. This will all pass eventually. Xxxx

6 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sending you some love @Finni hate seeing you suffer. You are a true warrior. This will all pass eventually. Xxxx

Love back! ✨✨✨

On 3/4/2026 at 8:01 PM, Finni said:

The surge of electricity, the constant pounding electricity that started around 11 AM is still going strong. It’s like it’s just locked in and it’s 2 PM now.
It’s very distressing. 
I don’t know if it’s because day seven is bringing back a more steady state of mirtazapine and I’m reacting to it or if it’s just a big reaction to the change

 

I hope to God that Mark Horowitz can help me figure this out

 

does anyone else with mirtazapine experience ever have this happen where you feel better as you reduce and then symptoms catch up later?

 

@Emsy

@The_Taper_Man

@skamen

Hi @Finni

 

i have had symptoms return two days after updosing it happened to me twice so in the end I just stayed where I was it’s like it would give me relief then settle out. Your cns is on high alert it needs time to settle down. Does the surge of electricity feel like akathisia? Also what dose did you last feel comfortable at? 

Edited March 5Mar 5 by Richie

16 minutes ago, Richie said:

Hi @Finni

 

i have had symptoms return two days after updosing it happened to me twice so in the end I just stayed where I was it’s like it would give me relief then settle out. Your cns is on high alert it needs time to settle down. Does the surge of electricity feel like akathisia? Also what dose did you last feel comfortable at? 

The electricity sometimes feels a little agitating, but it does not cause excessive movement. It’s more just like it’s a very electric vibration that just won’t stop.

I used to be comfortable at 15 mg before I let a psychiatrist increase my dose. I thought returning to 15 mg was going to do the trick, but I just kept getting worse and more of the deep electric spreading pain, shaking, adrenaline rushes, sweating, etc.

That’s why I decided to reduced to 14.7

@Finni

 

i haven’t had the electric feeling but I defo had nerve pains in my legs pin and needles cortisol spikes in the morning anxiety in my chest i held for a good 6 weeks and it’s all settled down. It’s so hard getting through but just keep thinking to yourself you are getting through it. The more days which go by the closer you are to stabilisation. 
 

stay strong 

 

❤️👊🙏

 3/5-3/6

overall intensity 3/5:

7/10

not as much deep electrical pain, even though deep electricity was still present.

Very floaty and removed with terror surges, disequilibrium, shuddering internally, very tight neck and back muscles, pressure in body

late afternoon I was outside walking around, even though I was very floaty and bouncy feeling

I ate pretty well throughout the day. 
8:15 pm took 14.7 mg mirt

sweating during night with soaked pajamas 

2:30 am restroom 

Rested until 4:30 am 

5:00 am twisting stomach heat and pounding in back starting ; heat spreading; hands shaking 

very floaty and bouncy and moving sensations, head sensations, terror feeling in stomach, nausea 

 

@Luke

I wasn’t sure where to ask this question as I saw you mentioned something on someone else’s thread that I wanted to follow up on.

I believe you said that you were able to stabilize on mirtazapine, even though you were having pretty bad reactions to it.

 

Did I understand that right?

 

And then, after you stabilized, you felt better as you reduced the dose?

3/6-3/7

overall intensity 3/6:

7/10

waves of increased symptoms on and off throughout day : rocking, swaying sensations with short-lived waves of terror, full feeling in my head and electric vibrations on and off in my body, derealization. Vestibular symptoms worst of all symptoms 

muscle tightness neck and back significant by evening

 

Ate 3 meals and some small snacks

 

Laughed with my mom and sister, interested in bluebirds, walked around outside for a little bit, was able to play New York Times games through the fog 

 

8:15 pm took 14.7 mg Mirtazapine 

 

within about 10 minutes, I started having increased fight or flight-

pounding in my body, feeling pinned to bed with adrenaline, heat rising, sweating 

Eventually fell asleep, but I kept waking up with the same pounding and panic and sweating. 

Deep nerve pain in my stomach

By 3 AM: twisting deep pain and pounding in my stomach and back, the whole body burning, very tight, muscles, nausea, 

Edited March 7Mar 7 by Finni

@LostinCanada

I think I’m going to need a more precise scale

I think you have one if I remember right

 

I know they cost a lot of money. Do you or do you know of anyone who has a good scale that cost hundreds and not thousands of dollars?

3 minutes ago, Finni said:

@LostinCanada

I think I’m going to need a more precise scale

I think you have one if I remember right

 

I know they cost a lot of money. Do you or do you know of anyone who has a good scale that cost hundreds and not thousands of dollars?

Hey @Finni

 

There is some information in here you might find useful, if you haven’t seen it already. 
 

Preparing Doses for Tapering - Weighing & DIY Liquids

 

5 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Hey @Finni

 

There is some information in here you might find useful, if you haven’t seen it already. 
 

Preparing Doses for Tapering - Weighing & DIY Liquids

 

Thank you 

 

I’ve read that and I see that there are some for hundreds of dollars but I was just wanting to know if anyone has personal experience with the ones that cost hundreds instead of thousands 🙂

 

 

@Chippy

The reason I’m asking is the pill I took last night looked like there was more on the pill than usual even though it’s still weighed .098…

 

I’m wondering if I’m taking .0981 on one night and then maybe .09899 on another night. 
After I took it, I was very activated like I’ve been before reducing 15 mg.

And I’m still having just a super activated morning- it’s that old feeling from 15 mg

 

Maybe my nervous system can detect even though small changes

 

I’m using a metal file and I’m going to try to be consistent with the number of swipes I make across the pill and see if that helps until I can figure out how to get a more accurate scale

Edited March 7Mar 7 by Finni

14 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Chippy

The reason I’m asking is the pill I took last night looked like there was more on the pill than usual even though it’s still weighed .098…

 

I’m wondering if I’m taking .0981 on one night and then maybe .09899 on another night. 
After I took it, I was very activated like I’ve been before reducing 15 mg.

And I’m still having just a super activated morning- it’s that old feeling from 15 mg

 

Maybe my nervous system can detect even though small changes

 

I’m using a metal file and I’m going to try to be consistent with the number of swipes I make across the pill and see if that helps until I can figure out how to get a more accurate scale

For you. Are using the gem20?

22 minutes ago, Chippy said:

For you. Are using the gem20?

Yes

7 minutes ago, Finni said:

Yes

Got you. At your dose I’d doubt you could feel that level of precision but it’s always possible. Tends to be more of an issue on lower doses when the error is a more significant % of the dose you are taking. Doesn’t hurt to buy a better set. Well apart from the bank balance! 
the gem20 do have a habit of failing after a while so in the long run it may be worth it. 

I just found out my dad passed away early this morning
I was already incredibly activated and possibly having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine

I’ve lost both of my dads within eight weeks

I’m not sure how to get through

I wish I talked to Mark Horwood sooner than Wednesday

1 minute ago, Finni said:

I just found out my dad passed away early this morning
I was already incredibly activated and possibly having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine

I’ve lost both of my dads within eight weeks

I’m not sure how to get through

I wish I talked to Mark Horwood sooner than Wednesday

I’m so sorry @Finni thinking of you. You are stronger than you think. I know you have got this. ❤️

Thinking of you, @Finni.

Svetla 

@Finni sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. 

@Finni sorry to hear about your dad. 

 

Keep using the scale, that is more accurate than counting swiped with a nail file.

 

The link @Chippygave you, has the scale I use..it is around $400-500.....it is the A&D one. 

A few of us use it on here. ❤️🙏

Edited March 7Mar 7 by LostinCanada

My condolences @Finni so very sorry.