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Finni: Sensitized by Many Med changes and Mirtazapine

Featured Replies

1 minute ago, Finni said:

My affirmation: 

 

“I am healing, and my body is strong enough to get through this. Healing is happening even when I can’t feel it.”

100%!!!!!

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

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  • NBJ71
    NBJ71

    And please don’t beat yourself up about going to the hospital, you were looking for a solution to help yourself. I did exactly the same thing Finni and so have many others. The hospital made me so muc

  • Fullhealing
    Fullhealing

    I know it feels endless @Finni I'm so sorry, but let me assure you are not permanently damaged, it always amazes me anew what the body can overcome and you are no exception. You've been through a

  • Finni
    Finni

    My affirmation:    “I am healing, and my body is strong enough to get through this. Healing is happening even when I can’t feel it.”

Posted Images

@Finni I love your profile photo of the tree, back lit by the sun. It’s gorgeous. I used to do a lot of that kind of photography at one point. I always notice it when I’m in your profile. Where was it taken, did you take it?

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

  • Author
3 minutes ago, Chippy said:

@Finni I love your profile photo of the tree, back lit by the sun. It’s gorgeous. I used to do a lot of that kind of photography at one point. I always notice it when I’m in your profile. Where was it taken, did you take it?

Isn’t it so cool?
I can’t take credit for that.
I don’t even remember where or when I found it. It was just in my screenshots on my phone. 🙂

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

2 minutes ago, Finni said:

Isn’t it so cool?
I can’t take credit for that.
I don’t even remember where or when I found it. It was just in my screenshots on my phone. 🙂

Yes it’s really nice. Very striking! 😍

 

I took the one in my profile. It’s more subtle than that one though I’ve shot a lot of big sunsets too. Took it in the hills one morning after camping out with my son. Good memories. 😀

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

  • Author
32 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Yes it’s really nice. Very striking! 😍

 

I took the one in my profile. It’s more subtle than that one though I’ve shot a lot of big sunsets too. Took it in the hills one morning after camping out with my son. Good memories. 😀

Oh my gosh- that’s a beautiful photo!


awww, I bet 🥰

 

I have so many good memories with my daughter,  who is all grown up now 😊

 

We did a little bit of camping with my sister and my niece in a tent. 
I grew up camping, as well. 🙂 🏕️ 
 

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

4 minutes ago, Finni said:

Oh my gosh- that’s a beautiful photo!


awww, I bet 🥰

 

I have so many good memories with my daughter,  who is all grown up now 😊

 

We did a little bit of camping with my sister and my niece in a tent. 
I grew up camping, as well. 🙂 🏕️ 
 

Ah, I’m glad you like it. It’s a special photo. 
 

That’s so nice. I’m glad you have those memories. I think being out camping is like the closest to our natural state. Before we lived in white plasterboard boxes!

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

  • Author

@Chippy absolutely!

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

I was thinking @Finni can you think of anything you might be consuming or interacting with that your nervous system might not tolerate now that before it might have been ok with prior to all this?

 

so

 

Alcohol I’m guessing not!

Caffine

anti histamine’s 

supplements

Other medications you might take 

Cigarettes

Cannabis or other recreational drug

 

what’s is your diet like at the moment is it pretty clean and whole food based?

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

  • Author

I’m staying away from all supplements
No alcohol, no caffeine

no cannabis 

 

I could be eating cleaner, but nothing too processed 

 

My sweet mom is 85 and I’ve been staying with her…she's been cooking.

 

Typical breakfast would be scrambled eggs with coconut oil

Gluten-free toast with butter

 

Typical lunch would be baked potato with cottage cheese and Chia seeds

 

Dinner might be a gluten-free bean burrito with some salad and another vegetable

 

Snack on cashews, pumpkin seeds, string cheese, blueberries

 

drink a lot of filtered water

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

7 minutes ago, Finni said:

I’m staying away from all supplements
No alcohol, no caffeine

no cannabis 

 

I could be eating cleaner, but nothing too processed 

 

My sweet mom is 85 and I’ve been staying with her…she's been cooking.

 

Typical breakfast would be scrambled eggs with coconut oil

Gluten-free toast with butter

 

Typical lunch would be baked potato with cottage cheese and Chia seeds

 

Dinner might be a gluten-free bean burrito with some salad and another vegetable

 

Snack on cashews, pumpkin seeds, string cheese, blueberries

 

drink a lot of filtered water

You’re making me hungry and I’ve just eaten!

 

You seem to be doing everything just right to me!

 

Was only a thought. I think it’s good you’re taking this approach. Your nervous system is likely sensitive to things now so this will be helping in sure. 

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

10 minutes ago, Finni said:

My sweet mom is 85 and I’ve been staying with her…she's been cooking.

Your Mom sounds amazing! Bless her cooking too. Once a mum always a mum. Or mom. Sorry it’s British in me. 

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

  • Author
8 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Your Mom sounds amazing! Bless her cooking too. Once a mum always a mum. Or mom. Sorry it’s British in me. 

Please don’t apologize 😊

Be your British self! 🇬🇧 

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

  • Author

@Chippy

It’s kind of funny because right as you were asking me about my diet, I had done something very unusual and gotten a big handful of nacho cheese flavored Doritos (tortilla chips) and was eating them. 😂

So your post was a good reminder that it does all matter! I had just thought ‘oh my gosh, I feel so hideous anyway why not just have a handful of these?’

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

2 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Chippy

It’s kind of funny because right as you were asking me about my diet, I had done something very unusual and gotten a big handful of nacho cheese flavored Doritos (tortilla chips) and was eating them. 😂

So your post was a good reminder that it does all matter! I had just thought ‘oh my gosh, I feel so hideous anyway why not just have a handful of these?’

Oh no it’s like i just knew! Fun police over here! 🤣

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

  • Author

Any Kim’s Convenience viewers here? (Netflix)


The more I learn about mirtazapine and what it does in my body these days, the more I accuse it of doing “sneak attack”

 

I think it’s gonna be good…. even a relief…I think it’s settling and then 

 

BAM. 
The most hideous experience.

 

Maybe all antidepressant withdrawal is like that. 

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

6 hours ago, Finni said:

Kim’s Convenience viewers here? (Netflix)

I might check it out! I’ve started watching a little tv again finally. 
 

6 hours ago, Finni said:

 

Maybe all antidepressant withdrawal is like that.

Unfortunately it is often unpredictable and certainly nonlinear. Hope you enjoy your programme. Xxx

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

Hey Finni, 

 

Just checking in to see how you are? Do you have all the information to hand ready for Dr H tomorrow? 

March 2024

Mirtazapine 15mg x 4 doses. Adverse reaction. 
 

3 day break. 
 

March 2024 

Sertraline 50mg x 7 doses. Adverse reaction. 
 

August and September 2024. 
Diazepam 5mg x 3 daily for 6 weeks. These doses varied from 15 to 5mg daily until the last week where I was tapered from 10mg to 0 in 6 days. 

Zopiclone daily. I would say I was on 7.5mg for 3 weeks and 3.75mg for 4 weeks. 

  • Author
6 hours ago, Chippy said:

I might check it out! I’ve started watching a little tv again finally. 
 

Unfortunately it is often unpredictable and certainly nonlinear. Hope you enjoy your programme. Xxx

Kim’s convenience is a lighthearted yet touching comedy without a laugh track that centers around a Korean family in Canada. The parents are often using the term sneak attack in funny ways 😊

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

  • Author
3 hours ago, NBJ71 said:

Hey Finni, 

 

Just checking in to see how you are? Do you have all the information to hand ready for Dr H tomorrow? 

I’ll be seeing him virtually so I think I’m going to email a screenshot of my signature page that chippy cleaned up so nicely

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

  • Author

I’m so thankful that Mark Horowitz could extend my session tomorrow by starting earlier.
My best friend insisted on paying for the difference in the longer session. 🙏 

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

16 hours ago, Finni said:

Any Kim’s Convenience viewers here? (

Lol...love this show....Glad you enjoy it.

I can hardly wait for your appointment. Glad you thought to screenshot your drug history.

16 hours ago, Finni said:

Maybe all antidepressant withdrawal is like that. 

For many of us it is....that is why this forum is so important....no one understands except those of us who have suffered it. 

I am not a medical professional. My comments are based on my personal experience and information on SA.

 

Paroxetine-2002 onward-20mg/ Citalopram-2007-20 mg-straight switch from paroxetine-back to paroxetine after a month/ Sertraline -25 mg-Dec 2016- given for a month instead of paroxetine (doctor mistake) Oxazepam -10 mg-2016-twice weekly for a couple months for sleep/ Zopiclone -3.75-7.5mg-2020-2022-once a week for sleep/Paroxetine -20 yr+/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ Prozac-10mg August 24-29 2022/Paroxetine -5mg-2022.11.28-2022.12.04/10mg-Dec 5&6/22/ Prozac-10mg-Dec 8&9/22/Paroxetine -5mg-2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01

 

TAPER-Paroxetine-2023-Jul 2-4.9mg/ Jul 21-4.8mg/Jul 28-4.73mg/Aug 4-4.65mg /Sep 21-4.58 mg/Oct 27-4.56 mg/Dec 5-4.54 mg/2024-Jan 2-4.52 mg/Jan 9-4.51 mg/Jan 17-4.49 mg/Jan 26-4.47mg/Feb 6-4.46mg/Feb 19-4.44mg /Apr 4-4.43mg/Apr 28-4.4 mg/May 5-4.39 mg/May 19-4.36 mg/Jul 2-4.34 mg/Jul 9-4.32mg/Jul 31-4.3 mg/Oct 1-4.29mg/Nov 27-4.25 mg/Dec 5-4.22mg/2025-Jan 5-4.17mg/Feb 2-4.1mg/Mar 7-4.07mg/Apr 23-4.04mg/May 23-4mg/Jun 22-3.99mg/Jun 30-3.95mg/Jul 18-3.92mg/Sep 25-3.9mg/2026-Mar 25-3.85mg

 

9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/75 mg DGL if needed for refux/200mg calcium citrate/algae oil for omega 3/ginger 400 mg as needed for nausea 

 

"... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15

Good morning @Finni

 

Just touching base to say good luck with Dr H. I hope it goes well and look forward to hearing what he has to say. 

March 2024

Mirtazapine 15mg x 4 doses. Adverse reaction. 
 

3 day break. 
 

March 2024 

Sertraline 50mg x 7 doses. Adverse reaction. 
 

August and September 2024. 
Diazepam 5mg x 3 daily for 6 weeks. These doses varied from 15 to 5mg daily until the last week where I was tapered from 10mg to 0 in 6 days. 

Zopiclone daily. I would say I was on 7.5mg for 3 weeks and 3.75mg for 4 weeks. 

  • Author

I’m in the most severe withdrawal I’ve ever been in in my life
It started yesterday evening to get really really bad. I only slept about an hour and I’ve been up just I’m just crying out of complete overwhelm, nausea, panic, terror, pounding, pounding, horribly hot

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

@Finni so sorry to hear you are in such misery. Glad to hear you are having a session with him. I should have paid for the 50 minute session with him to begin with. I ended up paying for 2am test.   25 minutes just puts a rush on you to share what’s going on, ask your questions and get his feedback. I hope you get some good advice to alleviate what you are going through. 
Pokey 

Pokeys Topic

Pokeys Archived Dose hHistory

Current Medication:

2.5mg of nebivolol for BP

5mg Eliquis x2.

Vitamin D, 40mg Famotidine PRN

Magnesium glycinate ,5mg melatonin

20 March 2025 - Mirtazapine - 7.5mg (+41.5%)

20 Feb 2026 - Doxepin 29.6mg (0.6mg updose)

  • Author

The only thing that is going to help me right now, according to Dr. Horowitz is just resignation and time
I wish I would’ve talked to him a few weeks ago

He says I should stay on 14.7 mg or gradually very very slowly get back to 15 mg just for convenience and stay there for the rest of the year at least

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

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