Im rooting for you @Finni

stabilisation is on its way!

 

❤️🙏👊

Can anyone who has been holding a long time and not really stabilizing all the way talk about how maybe you are better than you were but just still having some bad waves?
 

Or do some people take a long, long time to stabilize and not even have windows?

I’m so so scared. Such intense symptoms that feel like some sort of other worldly withdrawal.
I feel like I’m being pinned to the bed and my whole body is shuddering. 
Deep, twisting, pounding heat, and electricity that feels like it’s going deeper into my body.

 

Since mirtazapine is to activating, I don’t know about going back up in the dose

 

Is another antidepressant ever added in in a case like this? I’m afraid I’m not going to survive.

So sorry @Finni I know this is awful for you. Sending some love your way. 
 

I wouldn’t touch your dose right now. It was only suggested by Mark for convenience. Last thing on your mind right now i imagine. 
 

No, adding more antidepressants will only make you worse and is certainly not what you want. 
 

We can’t suggest drugs to take. I will say however sometimes in severe situations Benzos are used to help. Personally I’m not a fan of adding drugs as I’m sure you can imagine. Dr H might be able to advise on this. 
 

Just one day at a time my friend. I’m sorry for your suffering and we are all there with you. 
 

Chippy

3 hours ago, Finni said:

I’m so so scared. Such intense symptoms that feel like some sort of other worldly withdrawal.
I feel like I’m being pinned to the bed and my whole body is shuddering. 
Deep, twisting, pounding heat, and electricity that feels like it’s going deeper into my body.

 

Since mirtazapine is to activating, I don’t know about going back up in the dose

 

Is another antidepressant ever added in in a case like this? I’m afraid I’m not going to survive.

So sorry @Finni like Chippie wrote, I wouldn't add anything or touch the dosage nor adding benzo's personally, very easy to get trapped there, it's enough dealing with one evil beast.

It will be easier with time just hold on and keep hope alive.

remember, you are stronger than you feel atm.

Edited March 17Mar 17 by Fullhealing

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

wrote, I wouldn't add anything or touch the dosage nor adding benzo's

What if going back up to 15 mg could give me some relief?

Since I wasn’t this bad before the reduction, doesn’t it make sense to go back up a little by little?

23 minutes ago, Finni said:

What if going back up to 15 mg could give me some relief?

Since I wasn’t this bad before the reduction, doesn’t it make sense to go back up a little by little?

Imo at this point your system needs to rest, a long rest, it has been through too much and needs a stable place without changes from which it can begin to find balance.

I understand the desperation to find relief, I know how hard it is, I ache with you, but you need to give enough time for the system do its thing, it will, no doubt, it just take time.

In the meantime, as cliché as it may sound, remind yourself how stronger you are than this because you are and try to accept that this is a temporary and you can deal with it because, in fact, that is what you are greatly doing.

it will not last forever be sure of that.

47 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Imo at this point your system needs to rest, a long rest, it has been through too much and needs a stable place without changes from which it can begin to find balance.

I understand the desperation to find relief, I know how hard it is, I ache with you, but you need to give enough time for the system do its thing, it will, no doubt, it just take time.

In the meantime, as cliché as it may sound, remind yourself how stronger you are than this because you are and try to accept that this is a temporary and you can deal with it because, in fact, that is what you are greatly doing.

it will not last forever be sure of that.

I wonder how long I’m going to be in this hell
 

This is day 19 after reducing to 14.7

The worst symptoms hit at day 13

 

 

40 minutes ago, Finni said:

I wonder how long I’m going to be in this hell
 

This is day 19 after reducing to 14.7

The worst symptoms hit at day 13

 

 

So hard to say, in general 19 days is still early imo, so many here who lived in continuous hell for months until they experienced a tiny short-lived window.

29 days after my last cut and only since yesterday has there been some improvement after a week of awful darkness and even before that, I was mostly in wave except for small moments of relief.

I would say, in a rough estimate, that significant relief will come months after a reduction, but again, this varies, depending on other factors such as life pressures, lack of support etc, also each reduction can be a little different from the previous one, better not to wait in anticipation for the wave to end rather to learn how to deal with it and know that it is temporary.

Edited March 17Mar 17 by Fullhealing

2 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

So hard to say, in general 19 days is still early imo, so many here who lived in continuous hell for months until they experienced a tiny short-lived window.

29 days after my last cut and only since yesterday has there been some improvement after a week of awful darkness and even before that, I was mostly in wave except for small moments of relief.

I would say, in a rough estimate, that significant relief will come months after a reduction, but again, this varies, depending on other factors such as life pressures, lack of support etc, also each reduction can be a little different from the previous one, no clear rules here.

I would Give everything I have just to go back to 19 days ago and not have made another reduction. 
 

I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to help what I thought was too much activation from mirtazapine.

As did some people hear on the forum.

 

I don’t want to be in this level of hell for months. Yesterday was much better than today as was Saturday.

It’s like every other day is horrible

14 minutes ago, Finni said:

I would Give everything I have just to go back to 19 days ago and not have made another reduction. 
 

I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to help what I thought was too much activation from mirtazapine.

As did some people hear on the forum.

 

I don’t want to be in this level of hell for months. Yesterday was much better than today as was Saturday.

It’s like every other day is horrible

Yesterday was better than today? that's huge, hold on to it, it's not all dark!

Months doesn't necessarily mean continuous hell rather more unexpected fluctuations like us experience

2 hours ago, Finni said:

I would Give everything I have just to go back to 19 days ago and not have made another reduction. 
 

I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to help what I thought was too much activation from mirtazapine.

As did some people hear on the forum.

 

I don’t want to be in this level of hell for months. Yesterday was much better than today as was Saturday.

It’s like every other day is horrible

@Finni Just to correct myself, regarding stabilization I meant that usually significant and long-term balance is not immediate and can take time and even a long time, but in the meantime there are small reliefs like you and I are experiencing, it is not black and white and this is just my rough assessment.

I am sorry if this discourages you in any way, that was certainly not my intention, my point was that it is better not to expect immediate relief because it can be defeating, just know that it will happen, only in its own time.

And please don't beat yourself up for what has been done, we always know after the fact.

Keep being strong.

Edited March 17Mar 17 by Fullhealing

I’m in a really rough rough patch that I didn’t even know existed.
I didn’t know my body could even do this.

Yesterday I talked to my psychiatric nurse practitioner who prescribed Klonopin 

That’s how desperate I was to accept a prescription for a benzo, even though I’ve reacted to benzo’s in the past

 

I didn’t take it, but I did try propranolol thinking oh maybe I can get a little relief

 

Now I’m really regretting taking even 2.5 mg of propanolol because I’m not sure what it did to me.

And I’m so activated during the day and have such a hard time thinking that I was trying to calibrate my new scales and I’ve just messed everything up because I can’t concentrate.
 

I’m hopefully going to be able to get some window today where I can revisit calibrating

Im sorry @Finni you are having a terrible time. I would avoid taking anything, it will likely just make you worse. I know it is hard but time is your friend. Can you add anything you do take to your signature so there is a record of it?

25 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Im sorry @Finni you are having a terrible time. I would avoid taking anything, it will likely just make you worse. I know it is hard but time is your friend. Can you add anything you do take to your signature so there is a record of it?

Even one dose of propranolol?
 

I feel so stupid

1 minute ago, Finni said:

Even one dose of propranolol?
 

I feel so stupid

Unfortunately these things don’t help. Don’t worry about what has been done already. Just think about what you do next xxx

I think I really need to stay away from ChatGPT
 

Somehow, when I’m alone with ChatGPT, it can make me think that it’s OK to keep trying things especially if a doctor has prescribed it.

 

ChatGPT is good for encouragement, but when it comes to medication, I’ve got to stay away from everything.

1 minute ago, Finni said:

I think I really need to stay away from ChatGPT
 

Somehow, when I’m alone with ChatGPT, it can make me think that it’s OK to keep trying things especially if a doctor has prescribed it.

 

ChatGPT is good for encouragement, but when it comes to medication, I’ve got to stay away from everything.

100% 

 

you can ask it to only base its replies on sa.org otherwise it will tell you all sorts of dangerous things potentially 

33 minutes ago, Chippy said:

100% 

 

you can ask it to only base its replies on sa.org otherwise it will tell you all sorts of dangerous things potentially 

I hope this one little dose of propranolol isn’t going to set me back a long time. I can see that it was more of an irritation.

58 minutes ago, Finni said:

Even one dose of propranolol?
 

I feel so stupid

@Finni Don't be harsh on yourself, in desperation we think rashly, that's understandable.

Hang in there, let your system settle down.

We're here for you.

Edited March 20Mar 20 by Fullhealing

1 minute ago, Finni said:

I hope this one little dose of propranolol isn’t going to set me back a long time. I can see that it was more of an irritation.

Try not to worry about it. Your body is incredible and will put all this right for you if left alone. It’s just coping during the process. That’s your only job. 

Sending you encouragement @Finni hang in there, we're thinking of you!

I’m afraid I’m going to have to go somewhere to get help. I’m vibrating so hard internally and feel such panic. Lots of thoughts of having to end things to get out of this. 
 

Mirtazapine started a lot of activation after I took it last night. I’m scared out of my mind now at 2:40 in the morning.

 

I feel like the propranolol just really sensitize me even more and I’m never gonna get out of this

3 minutes ago, Finni said:

I’m afraid I’m going to have to go somewhere to get help. I’m vibrating so hard internally and feel such panic. Lots of thoughts of having to end things to get out of this. 
 

Mirtazapine started a lot of activation after I took it last night. I’m scared out of my mind now at 2:40 in the morning.

 

I feel like the propranolol just really sensitize me even more and I’m never gonna get out of this

Hey Finni. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. 
 

Please be very careful. The help you seek will likely be more pills. You’ve seen the effect of adding things and changing things. 
 

I know it’s tough but sitting this out is the best thing you can do. It’s awful. I get it but time will see you right. It always does in the end.