Hey @Finni

I’ve just caught up on your thread, I’m so very sorry to read that you’re suffering so much. In the early days I suffered badly with the internal vibrating, it’s like internal tremors, absolutely awful. I can tell you that it does improve with time, I know you can’t see an end to this but your body is fighting everyday to get back to homeostasis, things will ease at some point. 
I’ve had those thoughts too, it can be frightening. If you feel you need to get help then just do whatever is required to keep yourself safe. Just please be aware that any further application of medication could potentially cause you further issues. 
 

We’re all here and thinking of you Finni. ❤️

Edited March 21Mar 21 by NBJ71

I’m very thankful that I was not overtaken by SI this morning and I also have not had any ter**r this morning 💗

11 minutes ago, Finni said:

I’m very thankful that I was not overtaken by SI this morning and I also have not had any ter**r this morning 💗

@Finni I was about to check on you and I see this! I'm so glad you're finally having refill!! wonderful 👏✨

I’m not sure where I got this analogy- I wonder if it was from someone on this forum…

 

But it’s helping me to try to picture this whole process as trying to turn a ship around… 🚢 🌊 

@LostinCanada

how long do you leave your pill on your scale when you’re weighing it?

 

With my new scales, I noticed that if I leave it a while, like leave the room and come back, the weight seems to go up.

 

 

8 minutes ago, Finni said:

noticed that if I leave it a while, like leave the room and come back

You just leave it a few seconds till it registers a steady number. Leaving the room and coming back will cause an air flow that will mess with the weight. 

A sleepy groggy mistake was made 3 nights ago - 

muscle memory took over after I had fallen asleep before Mirtazapine dose. I woke up with a start/panic and opened mirt bottle and took a full 15 mg tablet 

 

I didn’t even realize I had done it until the next day when I went to go weigh my next dose and found a tablet on my scale. I had never moved the tablet.

 

Now I’m in a horrible, horrible state. Feels like the worst withdrawal I could ever imagine.

Maybe I should’ve just kept taking the 15 mg instead of returning to 14.7 

 

it’s sensitized me even more

 

I’m really really scared because I’ve never felt anything this bad before

 

Pounding head, tight muscles, horrible panic, and terror. Burning burning stomach and back and all over my body.

Rocking and dropping sensations worse than ever

 

I don’t know how to get through this.

I really don’t know if I can tough this one out

5 minutes ago, Finni said:

A sleepy groggy mistake was made 3 nights ago - 

muscle memory took over after I had fallen asleep before Mirtazapine dose. I woke up with a start/panic and opened mirt bottle and took a full 15 mg tablet 

 

I didn’t even realize I had done it until the next day when I went to go weigh my next dose and found a tablet on my scale. I had never moved the tablet.

 

Now I’m in a horrible, horrible state. Feels like the worst withdrawal I could ever imagine.

Maybe I should’ve just kept taking the 15 mg instead of returning to 14.7 

 

it’s sensitized me even more

 

I’m really really scared because I’ve never felt anything this bad before

 

Pounding head, tight muscles, horrible panic, and terror. Burning burning stomach and back and all over my body.

Rocking and dropping sensations worse than ever

 

I don’t know how to get through this.

I really don’t know if I can tough this one out

Hey @Finni

 

Don’t beat yourself up. These things happen. It’s good to not jump your doses around. If you’ve been taking 14.7mg for the last couple of days I would stay where you are. It will have jolted your nervous system a little but you’ll bounce back. I know it’s the last thing you wanted right now but even with this you will stabilise. Can be such a long process but you’ll get there. 

1 hour ago, Finni said:

A sleepy groggy mistake was made 3 nights ago - 

muscle memory took over after I had fallen asleep before Mirtazapine dose. I woke up with a start/panic and opened mirt bottle and took a full 15 mg tablet 

 

I didn’t even realize I had done it until the next day when I went to go weigh my next dose and found a tablet on my scale. I had never moved the tablet.

 

Now I’m in a horrible, horrible state. Feels like the worst withdrawal I could ever imagine.

Maybe I should’ve just kept taking the 15 mg instead of returning to 14.7 

 

it’s sensitized me even more

 

I’m really really scared because I’ve never felt anything this bad before

 

Pounding head, tight muscles, horrible panic, and terror. Burning burning stomach and back and all over my body.

Rocking and dropping sensations worse than ever

 

I don’t know how to get through this.

I really don’t know if I can tough this one out

take the same dose you used before that one night of mistake, you will stabilize, don't move your dose further and go back to the dose your body is used to.

it might be tough for a few days, but since it was only one day of mistake, it shouldn't be bad for too long,

just stop tapering and hold untill you stabilize on your last dose.

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Hey @Finni

 

Don’t beat yourself up. These things happen. It’s good to not jump your doses around. If you’ve been taking 14.7mg for the last couple of days I would stay where you are. It will have jolted your nervous system a little but you’ll bounce back. I know it’s the last thing you wanted right now but even with this you will stabilise. Can be such a long process but you’ll get there. 

It just feels like this isn’t even safe

 

I guess it is -I guess a lot of people live through some horrendous things

 

The way a sensitized system experiences with withdrawal is so different from a more regulated nervous system

I would not wish this on any living thing

Edited March 25Mar 25 by Finni

8 minutes ago, Finni said:

guess it is -I guess a lot of people live through some horrendous things

I wish this wasn’t true. But unfortunately it is. 
 

8 minutes ago, Finni said:

The way a sensitized system experiences with withdrawal is so different from a more regulated nervous system

I would not wish this on any living thing

I’m so very sorry for your suffering Finni. Try to not do anything more to make it worse. Just let it be and allow your system to settle itself. I know it must feel awful but time of your friend. 

Hey @Finni

 

Im so sorry to hear you’re still struggling so much. Many of us have been where you are, in the acute stages. It’s absolutely horrendous, frightening and very isolating. Being in the acute stages is a crash course in suffering!  However, as much as it feels unsafe, those symptoms can’t kill you and they will ease with time. Things will get better eventually, lots of us here are living proof. You’re stronger than you realise, you just have to keeping grinding through it. Do whatever it takes to get through each day. Every morning is a step closer to stability. You can do this Finni, we’re all here cheering you on! 

Just now, NBJ71 said:

You’re stronger than you realise, you just have to keeping grinding through it. Do whatever it takes to get through each day. Every morning is a step closer to stability. You can do this Finni, we’re all here cheering you on! 

100%!!!!

@Finni I goofed yesterday myself. I took a dose of mirtazapine without thinking 12 hours before it was due. I’m very perplexed how I let that happen. This poison can make a person pretty scatter brained, especially when it messes with your sleep and a fellow is too tired to think straight. Does that to me at least.  Hang in there. Wishing you the best. 

38 minutes ago, NBJ71 said:

Hey @Finni

 

Im so sorry to hear you’re still struggling so much. Many of us have been where you are, in the acute stages. It’s absolutely horrendous, frightening and very isolating. Being in the acute stages is a crash course in suffering!  However, as much as it feels unsafe, those symptoms can’t kill you and they will ease with time. Things will get better eventually, lots of us here are living proof. You’re stronger than you realise, you just have to keeping grinding through it. Do whatever it takes to get through each day. Every morning is a step closer to stability. You can do this Finni, we’re all here cheering you on! 

Thank you so much! ❤️❤️

 

With each change, intentional or accidental like this last time, the symptoms get more severe.

I never knew I would have to be this strong.

45 minutes ago, Pokey449 said:

@Finni I goofed yesterday myself. I took a dose of mirtazapine without thinking 12 hours before it was due. I’m very perplexed how I let that happen. This poison can make a person pretty scatter brained, especially when it messes with your sleep and a fellow is too tired to think straight. Does that to me at least.  Hang in there. Wishing you the best. 

I hope the mirtazapine slip up didn’t cause any issues. I bet it did not since it has such a long half-life. 
Yeah, our brains can really go off-line sometimes! Mine sure did. I didn’t even know I had made the mistake until the next day.

@Finni

 

The reason you never knew you would have to be so strong is because for many, the acute stage is a level of suffering very few of us have ever been subjected to before, it can be inhumane! 
However, you’re doing it and you’ll get through it, I’ve no doubt about that! We are far more resilient than we realise.Just focus on you, nothing else. It’s time to be selfish and put yourself first for a while. The symptoms will ebb and flow so be kind to yourself. Sooner or later things will ease and your world will seem a little more bearable. 
Keep your dose consistent, try to get your hydration and nutrition in a good place, avoid as much stress as possible and your body will do the rest, given time. One day at a time Finni, you’ll get there! ❤️

Edited March 25Mar 25 by NBJ71

Has anybody gone through a period of incredibly tight muscles?
I just was being pulled down so hard by my tight muscles. I couldn’t even stand up the muscles in the back of my head and all over my body were so tight that I literally could not stand up.

It was a very, very scary experience and I’m still just electric and spongy and pounding

 

This is the worst I’ve ever felt that I just can’t believe I didn’t realize I took that bigger dose. It really has stirred me up more than ever. I really hope I’m going to be OK.

Am I still going to be OK?
The accidental 15 mg has really really messed with me

 

And because I didn’t have very accurate scales, it’s hard for me to go back to exactly what I was doing before I took it

 

Part of the struggle is now trying to figure out if I was really at 2% reduction or 1.5% reduction

My cheaper scales just are getting worse and worse and I can’t get a reading until I’m below what I’m going for.

So I’m just picking the 1.5% reduction and trying to stay there with my new accurate scales

 

My poor body is going through so many weird shifts and changes and scary stuff

@Finni

Stopping by to say hi.

Sorry things are a mess. At least you know updosing is definitely not the way to go.

Sometimes some have had to taper out of a bad situation. 

You did feel relief initially when you lowered. Another option is splitting the dose and slowly moving the doses apart.

Please find a scale you can feel confident with. Accuracy is important.

❤️🙏

1 minute ago, LostinCanada said:

@Finni

Stopping by to say hi.

Sorry things are a mess. At least you know updosing is definitely not the way to go.

Sometimes some have had to taper out of a bad situation. 

You did feel relief initially when you lowered. Another option is splitting the dose and slowly moving the doses apart.

Please find a scale you can feel confident with. Accuracy is important.

❤️🙏

Thank you for stopping by. What a nightmare.
I now have the dose that I take at night in a little pill box so that I only have that dose so that there’s no chance of me opening up my pill bottle and doing anything in my sleepy state.

 

I do have the more accurate scales now, but I couldn’t be sure what I was getting before I got the accurate scales.

I’ve only been using my new scales for four or five days now

One day at a time...glad you are taking measures to protect yourself. What a journey. ❤️🙏

@LostinCanada

dr. Horowitz did mentioned that I could slowly start trying to split my dose.

He said he would wait until I was more stable

 

Of course I didn’t know I was going to have this very strange 15 mg groggy mishap that was going to set me back

I pictured being stable enough to maybe try that in a few more weeks or a couple of months

7 hours ago, Finni said:

Am I still going to be OK?
The accidental 15 mg has really really messed with me

 

And because I didn’t have very accurate scales, it’s hard for me to go back to exactly what I was doing before I took it

 

Part of the struggle is now trying to figure out if I was really at 2% reduction or 1.5% reduction

My cheaper scales just are getting worse and worse and I can’t get a reading until I’m below what I’m going for.

So I’m just picking the 1.5% reduction and trying to stay there with my new accurate scales

 

My poor body is going through so many weird shifts and changes and scary stuff

Sorry you're still in such a difficult ongoing wave @Finni I sincerely hope that now that you have a good scale things will start to look different.

Make sure to keep a consistent dosage and give your body some time to rest before you continue, hopefully you see improvement soon.

Stay strong.

@Fullhealing

@LostinCanada

 

when I was weighing 10 mirt tablets, one weighed less than the average. 
What will I do when it’s that guys’ turn? 
I file off these tiny reductions, so I don’t have many extra bits of tablets.