It feels like my body is complete electricity this morning at 5:45 AM
Hands are shaking, feel like my whole body is vibrating inside

i’m nauseated and hot

My mirtazapine dose last night definitely made vibrating worse although I was having a really hard time even before I took it. It gives me relief on some level and allows me to settle so it’s not like it agitates me. It just revs things up, but yet I’m able to go to sleep.

Weird, twisting deep pain in my stomach, as well as rocking and bouncing sensations as I lay here this morning 

 

I want this nightmare to be over

4 minutes ago, Finni said:

Hands are shaking, feel like my whole body is vibrating inside

make sure you sync with your body, instead of making stories of how hell it is, just accept it and surrender to the experience, and it will be much more tolerable.

I experience involuntary movements every now and then myself.

1 hour ago, Finni said:

It feels like my body is complete electricity this morning at 5:45 AM
Hands are shaking, feel like my whole body is vibrating inside

i’m nauseated and hot

My mirtazapine dose last night definitely made vibrating worse although I was having a really hard time even before I took it. It gives me relief on some level and allows me to settle so it’s not like it agitates me. It just revs things up, but yet I’m able to go to sleep.

Weird, twisting deep pain in my stomach, as well as rocking and bouncing sensations as I lay here this morning 

 

I want this nightmare to be over

Your system is definitely working overtime to find balance, it will come!

Im truly sorry you are suffering so much but try to accept this difficult process, easier said than done I know, work in progress for all of us but we must keep trying.

keep fighting bravely!

Edited March 28Mar 28 by Fullhealing

I’m finding things are really harder to accept when I feel like I’ve made a mistake… Even though I didn’t mean to take the full tablet when I was so sleepy and groggy, it did really seem to make me worse, especially when I couldn’t find my steady dose after that
I go very easily into self blame when I’m this when I’m suffering this much

 

I’m trying to work on that and to know that somehow my body will find homeostasis again

 

Thank you so much for the encouragement, especially since you’re going through a very challenging time / especially with the political climate around you

 

You are such an example of bravery 💗

17 minutes ago, Finni said:

I’m finding things are really harder to accept when I feel like I’ve made a mistake…

I tormented myself for a whole year I did the shit I did that ended me on the psych drugs, it never ends, it doesn't matter what happened, the now is now, the past doesn't matter anymore, now you just ride along the ride and do what you need to do, accept the reality, instead of reject it, the more you reject it, the more you gonna suck and your time perception is gonna go 10x slower. The time is going to pass anyways and things will happen anyways, regardless of if you accept the experience or not.

You have to accept reality, and surrender to it, this is reality, doesn't matter the past, past doesn't exist, now this is what's happening, I'm gonna let anything happen as it should me, let my body raise the symptoms it needs in order to heal and stabilize, and cooperate with my body, instead of fighting my own body and experiencing it even more tougher by resisting the symptoms.

Edited March 28Mar 28 by Lighty

💗 thank you 

If you wish, I'll leave you this often as I truly believe that.

Dear Pinni:

Wonderful life awaits you, just keep pushing!

Every second that passes, you are closer to the other side!

You're much stronger than you think!

This is a crazy chemical storm, although unbearable, it will pass, guaranteed!

You're brave!

You can!

You're great!

Edited March 28Mar 28 by Fullhealing

You’re an angel! 
Just the perfect words for me 🩷

I would love to have that reminder

 

Edited March 28Mar 28 by Finni

1 minute ago, Finni said:

You’re an angel! 
Just the perfect words for me 🩷

I would love to have that reminder

 

I gladly will, stay strong finni it's temporary 💞

Copy it out onto a piece of paper and put it somewhere where you can see it 🤗

6 minutes ago, Beehive said:

Copy it out onto a piece of paper and put it somewhere where you can see it 🤗

I have a screenshot, but I think I do need to write it out

..and address it to yourself as in Dear Finni 😊

2 minutes ago, Beehive said:

..and address it to yourself as in Dear Finni 😊

❤️❤️

It’s 4 AM and I’m back to not knowing if mirtazapine is the issue or if changes are the issue, but I am suffering more than I ever have
The deep electric pounding is so deep in my nervous system. It feels like it’s going to do me in. 
I can’t even explain it. I just know that I’m praying to God to live.
 

It was electric all day yesterday with terror that came and went

I shook a lot

I took mirtazapine at 9:15 PM became sleepy and then within 30 minutes all of the electricity and sense of withdrawal was back. I did sleep, but I woke up with deep, twisting, pounding, electricity, and feeling like I’m dying.

2 minutes ago, Finni said:

It’s 4 AM and I’m back to not knowing if mirtazapine is the issue or if changes are the issue, but I am suffering more than I ever have

either way, as long as you keep your dose consistent (same weight if using scale), you will slowly stabilize.

try to remember it's only physical symptoms and you are just sick, it's easy to make the issues big in our mind, and imagine the symptoms as this crazy beast, it's good to practice on visualizing the symptoms as a far away, tiny, quiet thing that isn't that scary (NLP technique, obviously I'm simplyfing the technique cause im not doing a full therapy session haha)

@Finni I'm right here with you ,I'm so guilty of this myself trying to think why we are like this but its not helping .Concentrate on the here and now thats all you can do focus on something in the room and become aware of your breathing focus on that ...Inhale deeply hold and exhale through the mouth and make it as long as you  can like a sigh ... you can do this 

It seems that the 15 mg one off mistake threw me into worse withdrawal. Does that make sense? I had been at approximately 14.7 milligrams for nearly 4 weeks and then that happened and now a week later I am worse than I’ve ever been.

 

It’s almost unbearable. It does feel unbearable.

 

The deep, deep, twisting, like nothing I’ve ever known 

1 hour ago, Finni said:

It’s 4 AM and I’m back to not knowing if mirtazapine is the issue or if changes are the issue, but I am suffering more than I ever have
The deep electric pounding is so deep in my nervous system. It feels like it’s going to do me in. 
I can’t even explain it. I just know that I’m praying to God to live.
 

It was electric all day yesterday with terror that came and went

I shook a lot

I took mirtazapine at 9:15 PM became sleepy and then within 30 minutes all of the electricity and sense of withdrawal was back. I did sleep, but I woke up with deep, twisting, pounding, electricity, and feeling like I’m dying.

Sorry @Finni so incredibly tough but do your best to not identify with the symptoms and the want to run away, sit with it until it goes, the resistance will only intensify and leave it for much longer than it needs to be.

As beehive suggested try some breathing exercises, in 4 seconds, hold 7 out 8 or 4/4/4, few sets like that really calm the system, stay strong, it will pass.

Edited March 29Mar 29 by Fullhealing

2 minutes ago, Finni said:

It seems that the 15 mg one off mistake threw me into worse withdrawal. Does that make sense? I had been at approximately 14.7 milligrams for nearly 4 weeks and then that happened and now a week later I am worse than I’ve ever been.

 

It’s almost unbearable. It does feel unbearable.

 

The deep, deep, twisting, like nothing I’ve ever known 

Hold on @Finni, you have this! You will settle down. Time is your friend. Don't fight it. You are safe it's just your body adjusting. Don't resist just accept. I know that is hard but I absolutely believe you can manage it!

2 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Sorry @Finni so incredibly tough but do your best to accept, not identify with the symptoms and not want to run away, sit with it until it goes, the resistance will only intensify and leave it for much longer than it needs to be.

As beehive suggested try some breathing exercises, in 4 seconds, hold 7 out 8 or 4/4/4 out, a few sets like that really calm the system, stay strong, it will pass.

Thank you
 

The thing is these symptoms last for hours and hours just kind of cycling up and down, but not going away and it’s unimaginable.

 

I guess people have lived through things that they didn’t think they were going to live through

@Finni We could drive ourselves mad overthinking the whys and what ifs at the end of the day it just makes us more stressed and doesn't actually change anything.  We can't go back so what is done is done need to focus on the now and get through as best you can 

Edited March 29Mar 29 by Beehive

...and I need to practice what I preach 🤔

@Finni Its not unimaginable to us 😊 we just keep moving forward one step at a time  with no expectations ,until the day we are rewarded for the all the suffering we endured and it will be a big reward 🤗

28 minutes ago, Finni said:

Thank you
 

The thing is these symptoms last for hours and hours just kind of cycling up and down, but not going away and it’s unimaginable.

 

I guess people have lived through things that they didn’t think they were going to live through

part of it is resistance and self-flagellation, the negative power it has over us only intensifies and prolongs what exists and makes the difference between bearable and unbearable.

I know it is very difficult while in but work with the part you have control over and not the other way around and remind yourself constantly, you are stronger than you think because you are!

39 minutes ago, Beehive said:

...and I need to practice what I preach 🤔

If we think it enough it will come our reality.. but yes work in progress for all of us 🤷