22 minutes ago, Lighty said:

hey, let me explain to you, with dry cutting, doing the same weight all the time is the most accuracy you can get, the tablets aren't atomically blended precised, so there is a tiny bit of flactuation (based on my experience with my mirt)

 

Your nervous system is just sensitive, you just got to hold the same weight, accept your symptoms, and with time you shall stabilize more and more.

 

I believe in you ❤️

Thank you very much 💗

 

Do you have big variations in the weight of each of your mirtazapine tablets?

1 minute ago, Sminismoni said:

@Finni I hear and see you in your suffering. I am sending love, for what it is worth, and a prayer.

Thank you so much 💗

5 minutes ago, Finni said:

do you have big variations in the weight of each of your tablets?

not that big, basically the average weight is 0.230g, and tablets vary from 0.220g-0.240g.

 

By the way just as a note, there is no way to get 100% accurate dosing with any method, every method has flaws, and tablets are flawed as well (with content variation and all that)

So even if you make it perfectly with the most stable tablets ever, you will still have at least 1% variation, that's just how it is.

39 minutes ago, Finni said:

Thank you so much 💗

 

do you have big variations in the weight of each of your tablets?

@Finni I don't know if it considered big difference but I do know that there's always weight change in between pills, what I always do anyway is take off the coating and continue from there to weigh my dose.

I can check exactly the difference in between pills and update when I get home if it helps..

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Fullhealing

5 minutes ago, Lighty said:

not that big, basically the average weight is 0.230g, and tablets vary from 0.220g-0.240g.

 

By the way just as a note, there is no way to get 100% accurate dosing with any method, every method has flaws, and tablets are flawed as well (with content variation and all that)

So even if you make it perfectly with the most stable tablets ever, you will still have at least 1% variation, that's just how it is.

My tablets weigh from .101 g to .1064 g

6 minutes ago, Finni said:

My tablets weigh from .101 g to .1064 g

your tablets actually vary less than mine in precentage, I would say don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it too much, just keep preparing the same weight, you are overthinking at this point on things you cannot control, just let go of the control.

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Lighty

9 minutes ago, Lighty said:

your tablets actually vary less than mine in precentage, I would say don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it too much, just keep preparing the same weight, you are overthinking at this point on things you cannot control, just let go of the control.

So what would you do if your target weight was more than one of your tablets? 
 

I felt relatively better yesterday and just felt like it was more straight withdrawal

I was very uncomfortable at times, but I didn’t have the nightmare, terror, deep, creepy, crawly agitation going on.

I feel like I’m floating and bobbing and falling through the floor again today.

2 minutes ago, Finni said:

So what would you do if your target weight was more than one of your tablets? 

still go for target weight, my tablets are 30mg dose so i don't have that issue.

1 hour ago, Lighty said:

hey, let me explain to you, with dry cutting, doing the same weight all the time is the most accuracy you can get, the tablets aren't atomically blended precised, so there is a tiny bit of flactuation (based on my experience with my mirt)

 

Your nervous system is just sensitive, you just got to hold the same weight, accept your symptoms, and with time you shall stabilize more and more.

 

I believe in you ❤️

100% this @Finni

10 minutes ago, Chippy said:

100% this @Finni

I’m trying

It’s such a horrible ride I’m on

 

One day I feel like I’m in withdrawal and that almost feels more manageable and then the next day I feel like I’m having an adverse reaction. Very creepy, dark hideous akasthisia and pressurized electricity in body. 

Just now, Finni said:

I’m trying

It’s such a horrible ride I’m on

 

One day I feel like I’m in withdrawal and that almost feels more manageable and then the next day I feel like I’m having an adverse reaction. Very creepy, dark hideous akasthisia and pressurized electricity in body. 

Oh Finni, my heart goes out to you. I know you are having an awful time of it. It won't be this way always. Your dose is honestly as good as you can get it. Don't worry about the weight issue. You are getting a better dose than if you took a whole pill! You have seen how much the vary in weight.

 

Give it some more time, no changes and see how you go. If you are still seeing no progress you could always try to taper out of it, like we tried before, but this is only a good idea if you think you are in poop out. It is hard to tell, and as Lic said, not a nice thing to do. It would be much better to sit tight and not risk making it worse imo. 

13 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Oh Finni, my heart goes out to you. I know you are having an awful time of it. It won't be this way always. Your dose is honestly as good as you can get it. Don't worry about the weight issue. You are getting a better dose than if you took a whole pill! You have seen how much the vary in weight.

 

Give it some more time, no changes and see how you go. If you are still seeing no progress you could always try to taper out of it, like we tried before, but this is only a good idea if you think you are in poop out. It is hard to tell, and as Lic said, not a nice thing to do. It would be much better to sit tight and not risk making it worse imo. 

Some days, like yesterday, it seems that I need to go back up to 15 mg

 

and today, I’m thinking ‘get this sh*t out of my body!’ 

5 minutes ago, Finni said:

 

I’m thinking ‘get this sh*t out of my body!’ 

Yes, this, constantly every day.. but we have to go slow very slow, no other way unfortunately.

You are a warrior to handle this!

Don't forget how strong you are!

9 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Yes, this, constantly every day.. but we have to go slow very slow, no other way unfortunately.

You are a warrior to handle this!

Don't forget how strong you are!

Look who’s talking! ❤️❤️

 

I have a virtual appointment with my psychiatrist today and I have a feeling she’s going to really push brass monkey 

 

The last time I talked to her, that’s what I was supposed to do. 

Of course I didn’t get very far with it

3 hours ago, Finni said:

 

I don’t know how to get this more even.

Buy capsules, grind all your pills together. Weigh the capsule empty, then add powder. This is exactly what a compounding pharmacy does.

@Chippy

@Lighty

@Fullhealing

@LostinCanada

 

is it a good sign that I fluctuate so wildly between days?

Yesterday felt like just straight withdrawal

Today is back to being incredibly activated with horrible vibrations, crying terror…

 

Is my body trying hard or getting more disregulated?

1 hour ago, Finni said:

Look who’s talking! ❤️❤️

 

I have a virtual appointment with my psychiatrist today and I have a feeling she’s going to really push brass monkey 

 

The last time I talked to her, that’s what I was supposed to do. 

Of course I didn’t get very far with it

Good luck with the meeting!

Please don't let her push you anywhere, your decision on how you want to move forward 🙏

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Fullhealing

5 minutes ago, Finni said:

Is my body trying hard or getting more disregulated?

Trying hard Finni. 

10 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Chippy

@Lighty

@Fullhealing

@LostinCanada

 

is it a good sign that I fluctuate so wildly between days?

Yesterday felt like just straight withdrawal

Today is back to being incredibly activated with horrible vibrations, crying terror…

 

Is my body trying hard or getting more disregulated?

Certainly, recovery comes in the form of variable and unpredictable intensities of symptoms.

You are on the right track @Finni and although it is very brutal it is temporary and will slowly balance out.

Keep fighting bravly, you will get through it! 💞

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Fullhealing

40 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Chippy

@Lighty

@Fullhealing

@LostinCanada

 

is it a good sign that I fluctuate so wildly between days?

Yesterday felt like just straight withdrawal

Today is back to being incredibly activated with horrible vibrations, crying terror…

 

Is my body trying hard or getting more disregulated?

Why do you think the latter isn't withdrawal..I'm so up and down with mine and today was your latter ..definitely withdrawal for me !!

12 minutes ago, Beehive said:

Why do you think the latter isn't withdrawal..I'm so up and down with mine and today was your latter ..definitely withdrawal for me !!

I believe it is all withdrawal but some days just have a different flavor that feels more like some sort of weird reaction or something. 

It's probably less stressful just to think of it all as withdrawal.  I personally find overthinking and trying to find a solution adds more stress to an already stressed brain . Hope you feel settled soon 🙏

20 minutes ago, Beehive said:

It's probably less stressful just to think of it all as withdrawal.  I personally find overthinking and trying to find a solution adds more stress to an already stressed brain . Hope you feel settled soon 🙏

i agree with beehive, again no method is 100% accurate, so you are 99% accurate which is good enough in my book, better to not overthink.

your body will figure out how to stabilize, just will take a bit.

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Lighty

20 minutes ago, Beehive said:

It's probably less stressful just to think of it all as withdrawal.  I personally find overthinking and trying to find a solution adds more stress to an already stressed brain . Hope you feel settled soon 🙏

I’ve had people on this forum wonder  if I’m having an adverse reaction and  think I might need to taper off quicker, so it’s hard not to think about that

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Finni

2 minutes ago, Finni said:

I’ve had people on this forum wonder  if I’m having an adverse reaction and  think I might need to taper off quicker, so it’s hard not to think about that

I think you are just destabilized from the mistakes you did, either way even if you have an adverse reaction, you need to taper in a way where your withdrawals don't become too severe that it's worse than the adverse reaction.