12 minutes ago, Finni said:

Thank you ❤️

I think I need to schedule another visit with him because I wasn’t reacting this way when I talked to him

I was showing signs of adverse reactions a few weeks ago or months ago… that’s what made me go ahead and drop to 14.7 mg instead of just continuing to hold 15

yes @Finni that sounds like a really good idea. squeeze out every bit of information and then decide which direction you're going. I really hope this clarifies things and gives you some peace of mind 🙏

Edited April 17Apr 17 by Fullhealing

@Beehive

@Fullhealing

Do you have windows where you function somewhat normally?

I think you both do from what I’ve seen. 🤗

If you don’t want to answer, it’s OK. I’m just looking for hope.

Edited April 17Apr 17 by Finni

18 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Beehive

@Fullhealing

Do you have Windows where you function somewhat normally?

If you don’t wanna answer, it’s OK. I’m just looking for Hope.

@Finni I definitely feel better, can do a lot more and feel normal in windows but it's so non-linear that an unexpected wave comes and hits it throw me back into my shell so normality cannot be maintained for long but that's the case for almost everyone in the process as long as the system is affected and unbalanced.

I can tell you for sure that you will get a window and you will feel different, 180 different!! it took a while for it to come to me but with patience and time it happened.

Never lose hope finni, life, emotions, everything is dynamic and it will change! 🫶

Edited April 17Apr 17 by Fullhealing

@Finni Yes I do most definitely, and I'm fully functional. The waves feel tougher for me because when I'm in a window be it brief I am me ,no symptons no thoughts,withdrawal doesn't exist in those times .personally and it's just my opinion as I have been there ,try and just keep stable and stress less about what's going on or what you should be doing or not doing .Aim for stability and don't make any changes that is what your body is craving . If you keep questioning yourself you are adding more stress. The body needs to do its thing its trying to get back to homeostasis. Help it along the way by allowing the symptons to come without judgement, without overthinking every outcome. Do your best to just get through the day allow your body space to heal as I said without judgement I suppose I have to use the word acceptance here because at the end of the day what other choice do we have . We can either flow down that river or we can bounce off every rock on the way. Unfortunately we are not in control of this it will do its thing regardless. Don't rock the boat and stay steady . I've been there ...you will have good times I certainly do its not all doom and gloom but you have to stay steady ,its difficult I.know but the rewards will be so much better if we just stay patient and trust in the process . I was definitely overthinking everything because I didn't want to lose control or let go I was hanging on ,now I think ok I'm going to let go do your worst . I find now it calms a lot quicker ,there's no need to fight it ....we will all get to the end some of us less bruised ..stay strong you can do this and you will have good days ..give in yo it ,it won't harm you . The fact your still going proves that !!❤️

Sending a reminder of how strong, brave and capable you are @Finni

Keep pushing forward, you will get through that brutal stage ❤️

@Chippy

Do you mind telling me how to turn signatures back on?

I hid them and now I don’t know how to get them back.

Thank you

Edit- I just figured it out!

Edited April 17Apr 17 by Finni

This whole process is so bewildering because it’s so different from other withdrawal.

I feel like I have to cycle back through symptoms and they get even worse when they cycle again… like my nervous system is trying to heal something even deeper when it goes back 🤷‍♀️

10 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Chippy

Do you mind telling me how to turn signatures back on?

I hid them and now I don’t know how to get them back.

Thank you

Edit- I just figured it out!

You got me then! I was looking and it was all good! 👍 🤣

4 minutes ago, Finni said:

This whole process is so bewildering because it’s so different from other withdrawal.

I feel like I have to cycle back through symptoms and they get even worse when they cycle again… like my nervous system is trying to heal something even deeper when it goes back 🤷‍♀️

Sounds like you’ve pretty much nailed it to me Finni. I think that is exactly what’s happening. Symptoms = Healing.

Deeper Symptoms = Deeper Healing.

26 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sounds like you’ve pretty much nailed it to me Finni. I think that is exactly what’s happening. Symptoms = Healing.

Deeper Symptoms = Deeper Healing.

Unless mirt is aggravating my cns … then, who knows?

1 minute ago, Finni said:

Unless mirt is aggravating my cns … then, who knows?

Thats a tough one Finni. I know you worry about this. You are not a typical poop out case. Normally that happens out of the blue after long term use. It could be of course, but I do think it’s more likely you’re very destabilised by all the changes that happened last year.

As LIC said. You have the option of tapering down if you think there is a paradoxical part to this, but that won’t be an easy task, as you found out when you dropped before.

You have also had signs of things settling too? That’s not normal in poop out.

4 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Thats a tough one Finni. I know you worry about this. You are not a typical poop out case. Normally that happens out of the blue after long term use. It could be of course, but I do think it’s more likely you’re very destabilised by all the changes that happened last year.

As LIC said. You have the option of tapering down if you think there is a paradoxical part to this, but that won’t be an easy task, as you found out when you dropped before.

You have also had signs of things settling too? That’s not normal in poop out.

I don’t think it’s poop out, but I do think my nervous system is aggravated by it

I’ve become so sensitized that I’m reacting to it. It’s a vicious cycle.

Just now, Finni said:

I don’t think it’s poop out, but I do think my nervous system is aggravated by it

I’ve become so sensitized that I’m reacting to it. It’s a vicious cycle.

Yeah. Poop outs a grey area.

Tolerance poop out is typically the drug effect diminishing over time. The sa style, understanding of poop out, is that the drug goes paradoxical at this point. It might not be tolerance per se, and just the body now rejecting the drug after long term use.

But either way that can happen. Dependant and rejecting at the same time. Thats a tough one.

I’m not saying it’s not happening to you. I’m just saying as LIC did, give it plenty of time and be sure. Tapering out of it isn’t an easy fix. Would be much better if you can stablise on this dose.

12 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Yeah. Poop outs a grey area.

Tolerance poop out is typically the drug effect diminishing over time. The sa style, understanding of poop out, is that the drug goes paradoxical at this point. It might not be tolerance per se, and just the body now rejecting the drug after long term use.

But either way that can happen. Dependant and rejecting at the same time. Thats a tough one.

I’m not saying it’s not happening to you. I’m just saying as LIC did, give it plenty of time and be sure. Tapering out of it isn’t an easy fix. Would be much better if you can stablise on this dose.

This has been one doozy of a day I keep wanting to stabilize so badly, but it seems like my symptoms are just staying on all day long other days it comes in big waves and windows during the day but today it’s just staying at a very intense terrifying level

1 minute ago, Finni said:

This has been one doozy of a day I keep wanting to stabilize so badly, but it seems like my symptoms are just staying on all day long other days it comes in big waves and windows during the day but today it’s just staying at a very intense terrifying level

Awful Finni. 😞 The waves and windows are good signs though. Keep them front and centre.

1 minute ago, Finni said:

This has been one doozy of a day I keep wanting to stabilize so badly, but it seems like my symptoms are just staying on all day long other days it comes in big waves and windows during the day but today it’s just staying at a very intense terrifying level

@Chippy please excuse that punctuation. I’m using voice to text.

I’m trying my best to hang on until April 28 when I can talk to Dr. Horowitz again

Nights are very intense after I take mirtazapine lately.

1 minute ago, Finni said:

@Chippy please excuse that punctuation. I’m using voice to text.

I’m trying my best to hang on until April 28 when I can talk to Dr. Horowitz again

Nights are very intense after I take mirtazapine lately.

Bless you Finni. Hope no ones judging grammar on here! I’m in trouble if the are!! 🤣

I know. I’ve seen. Keep logging it. Just accept the symptoms. Float and observe. Don’t talk yourself into it.

@Finni How's it going...

@Beehive

It’s such an incredibly rough day. I’m still just really really suffering.

It’s 2:40 PM my time and I feel like I have motors going in my back of my head and tailbone huge vibrations like I was doing this morning, really off-balance, burning…

I could handle it all if I just didn’t have that weird feeling of nightmare or terror deep in my whole system…

How are you? 🌞

Edited April 17Apr 17 by Finni

That feeling of fear is awful I.know that feeling well ...not familiar with the effects of Mirtazapine but I do believe it's connected to histamine in some way does certain foods affect you ?....I can feel your suffering, I have been there ,just wish there was that magic something that would put an end to this. This can't go on forever nothing does ,it won't be able to keep this up ,there definitely will be an end . You have to dig deep and find that strength to keep going forward its the only way through . Every moment you get through is a moment closer to the end . I know its hard and I hope more than ever that you find some peace .🙏

@Finni This sounds very difficult and must be frightening. This process of tapering is hard work and very draining. The arousal/activation symptoms you describe are almost intolerable. I hope you find some stability and peace soon 🤗🧡

4/18/26

Yesterday was a day of intense surges that lasted on and off all day long. Scary overtaking full body stuff.

I was able to eat meals and got very snacky by late evening.

I enjoyed a new show on Apple TV

9:15 pm 14.79 mg mirt

No huge reactions, but some increased dizziness and heat in body.

Fell asleep and slept pretty soundly for about 7 1/2 hours.

Woke with pounding in torso and electric twisting sensation in solar plexus.

Now that electric barbed wire feeling is spread spreading throughout my body and a lot of pounding where it feels like my whole body is bouncing. Nausea and some panic is rising.

So thankful for sleep

So glad you got some good sleep @Finni!

13 minutes ago, Finni said:

4/18/26

Yesterday was a day of intense surges that lasted on and off all day long. Scary overtaking full body stuff.

I was able to eat meals and got very snacky by late evening.

I enjoyed a new show on Apple TV

9:15 pm 14.79 mg mirt

No huge reactions, but some increased dizziness and heat in body.

Fell asleep and slept pretty soundly for about 7 1/2 hours.

Woke with pounding in torso and electric twisting sensation in solar plexus.

Now that electric barbed wire feeling is spread spreading throughout my body and a lot of pounding where it feels like my whole body is bouncing. Nausea and some panic is rising.

So thankful for sleep

So glad you were able to get some proper sleep, so important!

seems things are slowly moving in the right direction @Finni

Has anyone else experienced over the top vestibular symptoms?