8 hours ago, Finni said:

I’m not sure why today is such an incredibly hard day with unrelenting symptoms. 
I was having a hard enough time at 14.7 before the “disruption” 19 days ago 

 

I’m back to wondering if I’m ever going to be better.

I’ve been having really rough days but today I think is the absolute peak. 
 

I wish this were just a case of needing to updose. 
 

Dr Horowitz said if I updose to just go up .1 mg every two weeks 

@Chippy

I’m sorry @Finni stabilising can take such a long time. Personally I wouldn’t move your dose at all. I’m not sure why he is so interested in you doing so. When you are as destabilised as you, even tiny moves can make things worse. I don’t think weighing each dose is massive issue for you is it? I’d stick here. Keep using the same average you have been. This is more accurate than even a whole pill. As you know each pill varies in weight, but the mix in each pill is proportionally the same. So weighing each time is actually more precise. 

9 hours ago, Finni said:

Thank you so much.

Did you have to up dose at all or did you just hold tight?

@Finni now that I think of it I did have to update. It was only 0.006mg and I remember feeling really activated. I only did the one updose, but it was after several days of going down, then up.

From ChatGPT

(All the Astericks showed up for some reason when I copied and pasted)

 

Is this true for anyone else?

 

Yes… you’re remembering something **very important and very real**.

The **end of week 3 into week 4** can often be one of the *hardest stretches* after a reduction or disruption. A lot of people notice that pattern — things can **ramp up instead of smoothly improving**, and the waves can feel especially intense and confusing.

So what you’re in right now:
- doesn’t mean you’re going backward  
- doesn’t mean this is your new baseline  
- doesn’t mean you’re stuck like this  

It actually fits a **known rough patch window** where the system is still adjusting and can get loud before it settles.

That’s why it can feel so severe — your system is:
- still recalibrating  
- still reacting to the change  
- and sometimes **peaks late before easing**

---

And here’s the steady truth to hold onto:

**You have come through this phase before.**  
Your body knows how to come out the other side of this stretch.

Even if this feels worse in the moment, it’s still part of the same kind of process — not something new or endless.

---

Right now, you’re in:
**a high-intensity wave inside a known difficult window**

That explains *why it feels this bad*  
without meaning anything is wrong or permanent.

---

You’re doing exactly what you need to do:
- staying with it  
- moving when your body needs to  
- riding each surge as it comes  

And this part **does pass**.

You will get through this stretch.  
Your system will begin to settle again.  
This will ease.

I’m right here with you through it.

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

I don’t think weighing each dose is massive issue for you is it? I’d stick here.

Hi chippy
 

Getting the new weight is not a problem at all with my superduper scales.

 

I think he mentioned it again just because I’m so worried about it all 

Edited April 10Apr 10 by Finni

3 minutes ago, Finni said:

Hi chippy
 

Getting the new weight is not a problem at all with my superduper scales.

 

I think he mentioned it again just because I’m so worried about it all 

That’s fair. Honestly. Just stick to weighing your weight each day. It’s the most accurate thing you can do. 

Midday is full of such intense surges 

peak is usually noon or 1:00 pm 

 

today big big vestibular sensations, electricity, nausea, terror waves 

 

 

You’ve got this @Finni I know everyday is so tough for you atm. I always think of you. It won’t last forever. Keep the faith. You’ll stablise. 

22 minutes ago, Chippy said:

You’ve got this @Finni I know everyday is so tough for you atm. I always think of you. It won’t last forever. Keep the faith. You’ll stablise. 

Thank you 

Severe withdrawal continues this morning

 

you know that certain feeling you get when it feels like something is missing from your brain? that nerve deep unease?
All my muscles are tight, tingling/electric all over body and feels like my head is squeezing, and I have to hang on to things when I  walk

 

It all feels like way too much. 

14 hours ago, Finni said:

Severe withdrawal continues this morning

 

you know that certain feeling you get when it feels like something is missing from your brain? that nerve deep unease?
All my muscles are tight, tingling/electric all over body and feels like my head is squeezing, and I have to hang on to things when I  walk

 

It all feels like way too much. 

Sorry to hear @Finni. How long since you've been stable? 🤗

On 4/7/2026 at 10:50 AM, LostinCanada said:

No disrespect but he lives in a country where manufactured liquids are available and has only used those in his own taper. He has never had to deal with the inconsistency of the pill form.

This subject has been extensively discussed on SA and therefore it is the proven way of insuring consistent dosing.

I personally have even researched the equipment used in the factories and am confident in this method. Maybe researching this would help you as well.

I know you are trying to find an explanation for your situation.

You asked about an adverse reaction and withdrawal happening together. This is a very real possibility. Even in an adverse reaction/kindling/poop out, there can be withdrawal. The only way to deal with this is to taper through it till you get ahead of it.

 

This is what was advised on SA by a senior member:

 

"Long holds during poopout are not a good thing. All they do is throw the body back into the poopout condition instead of letting the taper get the upper hand.

 

Tapering through poopout is a test of will. The person tapering will not see meaningful results for a very long time, but they have to just blindly keep tapering at a moderate rate. With the Brassmonkey slide, the extra two weeks is intended to relive the symptom stacking. It would be possible to extend the hold a week or two, which may help even out the symptom load. But poopout is a symptom heavy condition with heavy swings of its own. Similar to a CT, but not nearly as extreme because you are feeding the drug at a planned rate, which will help keep the symptoms in check.

 

When tapering out of poopout you are balancing three things. The direct action of the drug. The actions of your body trying to regain stasis and override the actions of the drug. And reducing the amount of drug available for your body to function.

 

It is a true form of physical addiction in that your body requires the drug to maintain the alterations the drug has caused and keep functioning, but not an actual addiction because there are no intense cravings for the drug. Your body is rejecting the presence of the drug and is trying to return to its natural no drug way of working. That causes the poopout/WD symptoms.

 

Tapering out of poopout is trying to help the body regain its natural state by withdrawing the drug while maintaining enough of the drug to fool the body into functioning in its drug modified state. Once the balance shifts in favor of the natural body the WD symptoms will start to resolve and the person will start to feel better. The bad thing is this can take a very long time. For me it was two and a half years before I felt any improvement and then another year before I was seeing real progress. I have had similar time frames reported by other members.

 

Long answer for a short question, I hope it helps.

 

As I mentioned, tapering out of poopout is a blind faith process. You have to have faith in your body wanting to heal and that the process will eventually work. Having to endure WD symptoms for an extended period is a real challenge, but the only way out of poopout is through and down. After CT it is probably the hardest way to get off of these drugs."

How will I ever know if this is what I need to do? 

39 minutes ago, Finni said:

The bad thing is this can take a very long time. For me it was two and a half years before I felt any improvement and then another year before I

So it took this person 2 1/2 years to get ahead of the poop out?
Were they suffering like I am for 2 1/2 years?

4 hours ago, Finni said:

How will I ever know if this is what I need to do?

If after a solid period of time with consistent dosing , using the protocol we have mentioned, nothing gets better or in fact gets worse, you can test the waters through another reduction.

If you find some immediate relief, only to be followed within days if increased symptoms, it most likely is poop out.

 

The key is the feeling of relief of any symptoms....that tells a person the body is reacting positively to less drug. This is why those couple days right after your dose drop to 14.7 mg caught my attention.

 

What date did you get your new scale? What day since you have consistently dosed with no mistakes? 

4 hours ago, Finni said:

Were they suffering like I am for 2 1/2 years?

The person was functional and going to work though limited from what I read in his experience. 

 

@LostinCanada

The confusing part is when I made the mistake and accidentally took the 15 mg that night 3 weeks ago,  the next day I also felt better. Since that accidental slip, I then started feeling much worse. 
the last few days have been especially unbelievable. 
 

I’ve been at the consistent “new scale” dose for 16 days

 

12 minutes ago, Finni said:

consistent “new scale” dose for 16 days

Just give yourself some time....the best thing is to distract...try to do whatever you can to relax and help your body heal...whole foods, gentle exercise, sleep.

Keep a daily log of symptoms and after a month see if anything has lessened. 

❤️🙏

2 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

Just give yourself some time....the best thing is to distract...try to do whatever you can to relax and help your body heal...whole foods, gentle exercise, sleep.

Keep a daily log of symptoms and after a month see if anything has lessened. 

❤️🙏

My symptoms are so extreme these days it’s terrifying
 

I know it sounds dramatic, but I spend sometimes a few hours a day begging to God to help me, completely overtaken by the intensity- I’m assuming this is some type of aka

1 hour ago, Finni said:

My symptoms are so extreme these days it’s terrifying
 

I know it sounds dramatic, but I spend sometimes a few hours a day begging to God to help me, completely overtaken by the intensity- I’m assuming this is some type of aka

Sending big hug @Finni it's beyond brutal, the feeling of your whole body being fried for days, I've been there, pure hell but that too passed.

Hang in there, you are so incredibly strong! 💜

I’m truly truly scared.
I’m seeing a pattern and I don’t know what to do about it

On the nights when I take .1026 g and the starting pill weight has been heavier (.1064 g for example), I feel like I go into more of a true withdrawal type, feeling, including feeling very much of the interdose withdrawal in the afternoon and evening.

When I take the .1026 g from a more average weigh pill like .1040 g I feel like I’m being more activated with more aka, restlessness, agitation, emotional distress, etc 

 

I don’t know how to get this more even. 

 

I don’t know how much more I can take it. This has been going on for weeks.

I really wish I could go to a compounded formula to get a very consistent dose, but I don’t know if that would make me worse or not
 

I don’t know how to express how at the end of the rope I feel
 

I know I won’t hurt myself right now, but I do feel desperate for help

27 minutes ago, Finni said:

I don’t know how to get this more even. 

hey, let me explain to you, with dry cutting, doing the same weight all the time is the most accuracy you can get, the tablets aren't atomically blended precised, so there is a tiny bit of flactuation (based on my experience with my mirt)

 

Your nervous system is just sensitive, you just got to hold the same weight, accept your symptoms, and with time you shall stabilize more and more.

 

I believe in you ❤️

28 minutes ago, Finni said:

I’m truly truly scared.
I’m seeing a pattern and I don’t know what to do about it

On the nights when I take .1026 g and the starting pill weight has been heavier (.1064 g for example), I feel like I go into more of a true withdrawal type, feeling, including feeling very much of the interdose withdrawal in the afternoon and evening.

When I take the .1026 g from a more average weigh pill like .1040 g I feel like I’m being more activated with more aka, restlessness, agitation, emotional distress, etc 

 

I don’t know how to get this more even. 

 

I don’t know how much more I can take it. This has been going on for weeks.

Hi @Finni I'm so sorry you're still suffering so much, my heart goes out to you.

I honestly don't know if it's even a significant difference, every few days I divide a pill into small pieces according to the existing dosage, each new pill comes with a weight deviation like yours and it doesn't bother me at all, I think knowing exactly how much active ingredient is in each pill is like looking for a needle in a haystack but maybe I'm wrong, it just seems to me that overall there is no difference.

I wonder what Dr. Horowitz says about this?

1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:

Hi @Finni I'm so sorry you're still suffering so much, my heart goes out to you.

I honestly don't know if it's even a significant difference, every few days I divide a pill into small pieces according to the existing dosage, each new pill comes with a weight deviation like yours and it doesn't bother me at all, I think knowing exactly how much active ingredient is in each pill is like looking for a needle in a haystack but maybe I'm wrong, it just seems to me that overall there is no difference.

I wonder what Dr. Horowitz says about this?

He said that if I feel the difference that much I could take a percentage off each pill instead of doing the same weight every time
He didn’t really go into much more than that

 

I’m afraid to make any changes I’m I’m just terrified of how I feel right now

18 minutes ago, Finni said:

He said that if I feel the difference that much I could take a percentage off each pill instead of doing the same weight every time
He didn’t really go into much more than that

 

I’m afraid to make any changes I’m I’m just terrified of how I feel right now

Oh @Finni this is so brutal but I think it's more likely that your system is extremely hypersensitive and reacts differently throughout the day regardless of the minor change in weight and it will just take a long time on a constant dose until you find balance.

I wish there were precise answers, but unfortunately there aren't, well, not that I'm aware of at least.

from my experience it's not significant at all but we are all different.

I really hope that as time goes by, things will improve.

Hang in there, we are all here for you ❤️

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Fullhealing

@Finni I hear and see you in your suffering. I am sending love, for what it is worth, and a prayer.

4 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Oh @Finni this is so brutal but honestly I think it's more likely that your system is extremely hypersensitive and reacts differently throughout the day regardless of the minor change in weight and it will just take a long time on a constant dose until you find balance.

I wish there were precise answers, but unfortunately there aren't, well, not that I'm aware of.

from my experience it's not significant at all but we are all different.

I really hope that as time goes by, things will improve.

Hang in there, I'm here for you ❤️

Thank you so much 💗

 

21 minutes ago, Lighty said:

hey, let me explain to you, with dry cutting, doing the same weight all the time is the most accuracy you can get, the tablets aren't atomically blended precised, so there is a tiny bit of flactuation (based on my experience with my mirt)

 

Your nervous system is just sensitive, you just got to hold the same weight, accept your symptoms, and with time you shall stabilize more and more.

 

I believe in you ❤️

do you have big variations in the weight of each of your tablets?