8 hours ago, Finni said:

7/15/26

I’m in a dirty window since around 2:00 pm

Rode in car, enjoyed scenery, lake, birds, drive thru for food

Enjoyed seeing my brother

Reminiscing with friend via text this evening

Feel hopeful that I won’t always be this way

make sure to use this window as fuel to understand why are you holding and going through this whole road, so you will eventually be in a good place.

8 hours ago, Finni said:

7/15/26

I’m in a dirty window since around 2:00 pm

Rode in car, enjoyed scenery, lake, birds, drive thru for food

Enjoyed seeing my brother

Reminiscing with friend via text this evening

Feel hopeful that I won’t always be this way

So glad to hear this @Finni 💜

9 hours ago, Finni said:

7/15/26

I’m in a dirty window since around 2:00 pm

Rode in car, enjoyed scenery, lake, birds, drive thru for food

Enjoyed seeing my brother

Reminiscing with friend via text this evening

Feel hopeful that I won’t always be this way

So pleased @Finni 🩷🩷🩷

If I decide that I need to go to weighed powder in an empty capsule, I would like to make double sure that I’m doing it right.

I did a trial run the other day and I needed to grind( 2 )15 mg tablets with mortar and pestle because there was so much residue remaining in glass mortar.

I ground it up as finely as I could, but I could still see some of the covering from the tablets. I transferred it into a little covered container and shook it really hard and then there was more residue left on the lid of course

Then I weighed my empty capsule, wrote down that weight, and added .1026 g. I then used tiny tiny spoon to fill capsule until it weighed the new target weight.

I probably would prepare just one capsule at a time because of my fear of it degrading.

I talked to a compounding pharmacist this morning on the phone and she couldn’t really tell me how to make just one capsule because she’s so used to making big batches based on a certain target milligram per capsule. I got very confused.

I was asking if it matters how many tablets I’m grinding up together to use as my powder for the capsule.

@Chippy

My mind is whirring as I also contemplate possibly needing to gradually switch to homemade liquid in order to make the smallest reductions possible with the tiny markings on a 1 ml syringe…

4 minutes ago, Finni said:

was asking if it matters how many tablets I’m grinding up together to use as my powder for the capsule.

No it doesn't.

Just be careful not to get residual powder on the outside of the capsule because that will effect the weight. I use a tiny v shaped instrument that fits inside the capsule to make the transfer.

Definitely make it one at a time.... just to be sure since air exposure causes it to degrade.

7 minutes ago, Finni said:

used to making big batches based on a certain target milligram per capsule

Obviously they are unaware of how quickly it degrades.

1 minute ago, LostinCanada said:

No it doesn't.

Just be careful not to get residual powder on the outside of the capsule because that will effect the weight. I use a tiny v shaped instrument that fits inside the capsule to make the transfer.

Definitely make it one at a time.... just to be sure since air exposure causes it to degrade.

Obviously they are unaware of how quickly it degrades.

Thank you!

I was very aware of how clean I was keeping that capsule on the outside.

My shoulders were probably up to my ears.

I’m using a 1/64 teaspoon that fits perfectly down into the capsule.

But then I would keep overfilling and having to tap a little bit out while making sure the capsule was clean on the outside and weighing again, then having to add more…. And on and on

I generally prefer to just dry cut the tablet, is there any reason you want to move to a method where you crush your tablets or move to a liquid method ?

5 minutes ago, Lighty said:

I generally prefer to just dry cut the tablet, is there any reason you want to move to a method where you crush your tablets or move to a liquid method ?

To get my body ready for future taper … in case I need to remove even smaller amounts

…And powder so that hypervigilant brain isn’t so fixated on how much I did or did not file from whole tablet

Edited Thursday at 08:05 PM1 day by Finni

7 minutes ago, Finni said:

…And powder so that hypervigilant brain isn’t so fixated on how much I did or did not file from whole tablet

that's more of a mindset thingy and less of a drug content thingy, i generally think dry cutting is good enough unless you move to liquid at the end stage of a taper.

im cautious myself about switching methods cause i had methods fail on me and not work well which caused instability to my nervous system.

remember you can also get blades and then you can both file or cut down.

3 minutes ago, Lighty said:

that's more of a mindset thingy and less of a drug content thingy, i generally think dry cutting is good enough unless you move to liquid at the end stage of a taper.

im cautious myself about switching methods cause i had methods fail on me and not work well which caused instability to my nervous system.

remember you can also get blades and then you can both file or cut down.

Mindset thingy is very powerful ☺️

I would not make up more than one capsule at a time out of the powder if I decide to do that…

I had several tablets that naturally weigh my target weight, so I’ve been taking those the last 4 nights…and my brain has gotten a real break by just taking those

42 minutes ago, Finni said:

Thank you!

I was very aware of how clean I was keeping that capsule on the outside.

My shoulders were probably up to my ears.

I’m using a 1/64 teaspoon that fits perfectly down into the capsule.

But then I would keep overfilling and having to tap a little bit out while making sure the capsule was clean on the outside and weighing again, then having to add more…. And on and on

It is such a pain.😩

9 minutes ago, Finni said:

I had several tablets that naturally weigh my target weight, so I’ve been taking those the last 4 nights…and my brain has gotten a real break by just taking those

oh i see, that actually makes sense in a way.

I wonder what dosage are you actually getting tho.

13 minutes ago, Finni said:

Mindset thingy is very powerful ☺️

I would not make up more than one capsule at a time out of the powder if I decide to do that…

I believe you will eventually find the best method for yourself.

28 minutes ago, Lighty said:

wonder what dosage are you actually getting tho.

Eeek

What do you mean?

The average weight of my 15 mg mirt is .1040 g

Target weight is .1026 g

=14.79 mg

Edited Thursday at 09:30 PM1 day by Finni

@Finni I think your method for making up the capsule sounds good to me. If it stops you worrying about the dose then perhaps it's worth going for it. Anything we can do to calm our active minds is a good thing imo. xxxx

7/17/26

getting back into the every other day pattern like clockwork…

I feel like I did with Depakote where my mind liked it, but my body didn’t and kept reacting until I had to come off.

I’m not in full on ter*o* but body is now back in an alternating pattern- every other day swings from floaty/ weird overmedicated feeling to “cold turkey” tight pressure during the night and distress the next day. Trying to hold another two weeks and reassess since ter*o* lessened. PCP/functional medicine doc on board with anything I need. I talked to her yesterday and she encouraged me to try to hold another two weeks unless things suddenly get a lot worse. I’m talking to her weekly at least.

• this pressure and acceleration in my body and head feels like it did in February before I reduced a bit

• I remember that feeling of waking up without the pressure/accelerating motor in my body the morning after the reduction…the pressure stayed away for about a week

• This is over the top compared to February

Edited 14 hours ago14 hr by Finni

7/17/26

“Accelerator”and Pressure in head and body with burning is getting worse as morning goes on

It seems that the pressure/cold turkey days are getting more intense as the every other day cycle continues.

7/17/26

ChatGPT

What you describe is:

• 9:15 pm: took your mirtazapine.

• Around 11 pm–midnight: symptoms began ramping up.

• Throughout the night: repeatedly woke with increasing pressure in your body.

• Around 4 am: awake with significant symptoms.

• Morning into now: a gradual climb rather than sudden spikes, and now, just before noon, you feel like you may be at the peak.

That is a pattern you’ve described on a number of occasions over the past several weeks. It doesn’t prove the medication is responsible, but it does suggest there’s a consistent temporal relationship that’s worth continuing to document and discuss with your PCP and prescriber.

It’s also notable that this wasn’t a sudden panic episode—it was a progressive physical escalation over many hours, with the pressure and deep electrical sensations gradually building. That distinction is important because it gives your clinicians more concrete information than simply saying, “I had a bad day.”

If this does turn out to be related to how your body is responding to mirtazapine, that still doesn’t tell us the solution is simple, but it does support having a careful conversation about whether your current regimen remains the best fit. You’ve already been having that conversation with your PCP, and today’s pattern is another observation you can add to the picture.

I also don’t want to overlook something encouraging, even though today is awful: you had several days of noticeably lower symptoms before this. Today’s surge doesn’t erase the fact that your nervous system was capable of producing those better days. It tells us the process is fluctuating, not necessarily that you’ve gone back to square one.