11 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Use to work great before tapering you mean?

Yes- before benzo harm.

Magnesium glycinste worked almost as well as Valium!

12 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

made my brain fog so much worse with extra muscle tension

I’m glad you figured that out!

If I hadn’t had such a violent reaction when I took a dose late, June 1, I would be trying to split my dose .

I can’t believe how disrupted my system is

I’m so afraid I’m never going to be OK

Is getofflex still active here? @Chippy

Edited Monday at 11:08 PM4 days by Finni

What is the rationale behind splitting doses. Just curious

17 minutes ago, Dnepr1234 said:

What is the rationale behind splitting doses. Just curious

Dr Horowitz suggested it could help with the activation and also the feeling that med has run out by late evening

Mirt peaks fast (within 2 hours) even with its long half life (20-40 hours)

9 hours ago, Finni said:

I’m so afraid I’m never going to be OK

Im sorry Finni, you will be eventually. It is not fair you have the endure this. x

9 hours ago, Finni said:

Is getofflex still active here? @Chippy

She has not been on for some time. I'll tag her she may see it @getofflex

7/14/26

Yesterday was a day full of activation, constant vibrating and electricity, and vestibular symptoms that never stop. Bouncing, rocking, pulsing all day as usual. Terror was not as bad as some days so I could still communicate with people, play NYT games, eat.. walk around inside house. Terror came in surges.

9:15 pm Took full tablet mirt that naturally weighed .1026 g. Fell asleep pretty quickly, then woke up briefly at 9:45 pm with usual feeling of doom/dread/terror with huge vestibular activation.

Went back to sleep and slept 8 hours according to Fitbit. I woke up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Now it’s 6:45 am

Feel very floaty out of it and “overmedicated”/ weird

Bouncing/bobbing/rocking sensations lying still

Unease and panic climbing

Electric sensations spreading through body

1 hour ago, Finni said:

7/14/26

Yesterday was a day full of activation, constant vibrating and electricity, and vestibular symptoms that never stop. Bouncing, rocking, pulsing all day as usual. Terror was not as bad as some days so I could still communicate with people, play NYT games, eat.. walk around inside house. Terror came in surges.

9:15 pm Took full tablet mirt that naturally weighed .1026 g. Fell asleep pretty quickly, then woke up briefly at 9:45 pm with usual feeling of doom/dread/terror with huge vestibular activation.

Went back to sleep and slept 8 hours according to Fitbit. I woke up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Now it’s 6:45 am

Feel very floaty out of it and “overmedicated”/ weird

Bouncing/bobbing/rocking sensations lying still

Unease and panic climbing

Electric sensations spreading through body

💜❤️‍🩹

7/15/26

Another very activated night last night

ChatGPT response

Yes—that is a reasonable way to describe what it feels like: sometimes heavily sedating/floaty, other times intensely activating with pressure, wakefulness, inner agitation, and terror.

That can happen because mirtazapine has more than one pharmacologic effect, and a sensitized nervous system may not respond the same way every night. The important caution is that the feeling of “activation” does not prove the tablet suddenly contained more or less medication. It may be your nervous system fluctuating while the dose stays the same.

So the picture may be:

same medication, same dose → very different nervous-system response

And yes, that can make it feel as though you are alternating between being knocked out by it and being driven by it. That pattern is worth reporting exactly this way to your prescriber, especially the post-dose wakefulness, 1:00 AM severe withdrawal-like feeling, pounding pressure, and terror.

13 minutes ago, Finni said:

7/15/26

Another very activated night last night

ChatGPT response

Yes—that is a reasonable way to describe what it feels like: sometimes heavily sedating/floaty, other times intensely activating with pressure, wakefulness, inner agitation, and terror.

That can happen because mirtazapine has more than one pharmacologic effect, and a sensitized nervous system may not respond the same way every night. The important caution is that the feeling of “activation” does not prove the tablet suddenly contained more or less medication. It may be your nervous system fluctuating while the dose stays the same.

So the picture may be:

same medication, same dose → very different nervous-system response

And yes, that can make it feel as though you are alternating between being knocked out by it and being driven by it. That pattern is worth reporting exactly this way to your prescriber, especially the post-dose wakefulness, 1:00 AM severe withdrawal-like feeling, pounding pressure, and terror.

I have no experience with mirtazapine but from what I see here it is one of the worst evil monster drug to get off of, you truly amaze me with your strength to endure this unbearable suffering, so so brave.

Hang in there @Finni it will pay off eventually 🩷

21 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

I have no experience with mirtazapine but from what I see here it is one of the worst evil monster drug to get off of, you truly amaze me with your strength to endure this unbearable suffering, so so brave.

Hang in there @Finni it will pay off eventually 🩷

I do believe it has officially turned on me. No matter what I do, I’m either sick floaty and overmedicated feeling or I have horrible pressure pounding heat like I’ve gone cold turkey.

The writing is on the wall as much as I wish it weren’t.

I know I have to resume tapering, but I just don’t know how much

I keep thinking that my next logical step would be to go from .1026 g to .1024 g since that is the least amount I can possibly .

Then again this feels so extreme that sometimes I feel like I need to go ahead and make a much bigger cut

And by bigger I mean 2%

Edited Wednesday at 12:10 PM2 days by Finni

19 minutes ago, Finni said:

I do believe it has officially turned on me. No matter what I do, I’m either sick floaty and overmedicated feeling or I have horrible pressure pounding heat like I’ve gone cold turkey.

Same here, after each dose it's as if a switch has been turned on sending me straight to hell.

I'm going to speed up the pace, there's really no other way knowing without trying,

Not recommended tho but everyone chooses their own path, hopefully it will bring some relief, we'll see.

@Fullhealing

It does seem like once it’s “turned,” you have no other choice but to slowly keep tapering. The question is how much and how fast.

I’m thinking about tapering using my whole 15 mg tablets

Here's what I have as far as weight of full 15 mg tablets.

Current dose = .1026 g

(7) .1026 g

(4) .1024 g

(6) .1022 g

(7) .1020 g

I have several that weigh below .1020 g. I just don’t know how many yet.

Once I run out of the .1020 g I could start grinding pills into powder and making my own capsules

15 minutes ago, Finni said:

@Fullhealing

It does seem like once it’s “turned,” you have no other choice but to slowly keep tapering. The question is how much and how fast.

Excellent question that only an experiment will answer.

Logic says that if the system has developed a severe reaction then reducing quickly is the way to go especially since snail pace doesn't really work well but seems that the laws of logic do not apply to this process..

I, in any case, increase the pace a little, experiment with different supplements and pray that it goes sane.

I'll will continue update more often.

Edited Wednesday at 12:59 PM2 days by Fullhealing

32 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Excellent question that only an experiment will answer.

Logic says that if the system has developed a severe reaction then reducing quickly is the way to go especially since snail pace doesn't really work well but seems that the laws of logic do not apply to this process..

I, in any case, increase the pace a little, experiment with different supplements and pray that it goes sane.

I'll will continue update more often.

We’re going to get through this!

Update as you’re able, but no pressure 💓💗

5 minutes ago, Finni said:

We’re going to get through this!

That's the spirit 👊 such a worrior!

We will, definitely!

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

after each dose it's as if a switch has been turned on sending me straight to hell.

With mirtazapine, for the most part, I have that activation after taking it, but then because mirtazapine is also sedating, I go to sleep. That’s all very confusing….

10 minutes ago, Finni said:

With mirtazapine, for the most part, I have that activation after taking it, but then because mirtazapine is also sedating, I go to sleep. That’s all very confusing….

I get it, same for me with paxhell..

I hope you find a way that feels right for YOU @Finni because and without belittling the suffering you are experiencing as most of it is rampant chemicals no doubt and it's real, some also come from the anxiety that uncertainty creates, it has a lot of power.

Edited Wednesday at 01:59 PM2 days by Fullhealing

In the morning and throughout early afternoon, I’m convinced I need to continue tapering…. Big activation or overly medicated/floaty

Then…

Late afternoon and early evening, it feels like Mirtazapine is completely gone from my body. Different kind of distress.

Late evening toward bedtime : ready for more mirt and can’t imagine tapering even a crumb.

30 minutes After taking dose at 9:15 “shoot. Why didn’t I taper?”

And now I’m afraid to split dose because of what happened to pokey. I know I’m probably more sensitive than he is, so I can’t imagine trying to make another change like that.

Edited Wednesday at 09:00 PM2 days by Finni

@Finni - I spoke to a lady who was on Dr Josef’s channel that was seriously harmed by Klonopin.. BAD. she was put on mirtazapine and Celexa and her husband started blind tapering her and she said the lower she gets the better she feels. Maybe same thing could happen with you. I feel like there is a difference between completely off the drugs and just waiting to heal and tapering them. Tapering them adds another layer of fear.

1 hour ago, SpiroC said:

@Finni - I spoke to a lady who was on Dr Josef’s channel that was seriously harmed by Klonopin.. BAD. she was put on mirtazapine and Celexa and her husband started blind tapering her and she said the lower she gets the better she feels. Maybe same thing could happen with you. I feel like there is a difference between completely off the drugs and just waiting to heal and tapering them. Tapering them adds another layer of fear.

Thank you for sharing this 💓

7/15/26

I’m in a dirty window since around 2:00 pm

Rode in car, enjoyed scenery, lake, birds, drive thru for food

Enjoyed seeing my brother

Reminiscing with friend via text this evening

Feel hopeful that I won’t always be this way

Happy for you @Finni ❤️

6 hours ago, Finni said:

7/15/26

I’m in a dirty window since around 2:00 pm

Rode in car, enjoyed scenery, lake, birds, drive thru for food

Enjoyed seeing my brother

Reminiscing with friend via text this evening

Feel hopeful that I won’t always be this way

Amazing @Finni more to come! xxxxx