It seems I’m back in an every other day patter…

1 day feels like intense withdrawal, but I can access myself in those days…

Next day feels like intense adverse reaction with deep electricity, aka, floaty, sick

This is a deep electricity, vocalizing and pacing from intense electricity kind of day.

Sometimes I don’t know how I’m alive

I wish Adele could use a shorter number of days to look at my pattern. This is the sixth day of keeping detailed notes.

Last night, my reaction to mirtazapine dose was very pronounced. And now today, it’s just absolute hell.

1 hour ago, Finni said:

It seems I’m back in an every other day patter…

1 day feels like intense withdrawal, but I can access myself in those days…

Next day feels like intense adverse reaction with deep electricity, aka, floaty, sick

This is a deep electricity, vocalizing and pacing from intense electricity kind of day.

Sometimes I don’t know how I’m alive

I wish Adele could use a shorter number of days to look at my pattern. This is the sixth day of keeping detailed notes.

Last night, my reaction to mirtazapine dose was very pronounced. And now today, it’s just absolute hell.

Sorry that most are still very tough but some improvement every other day is an encouraging sign that hopefully will grow over time.

Well done for keep on fighting and for surrounding yourself with a knowledgeable external support network, I hope this helps strengthen you!

Edited August 4Aug 4 by Fullhealing

What happens to someone so sensitized? I’m feeling so hopeless

Extreme distress

38 minutes ago, Finni said:

What happens to someone so sensitized? I’m feeling so hopeless

Extreme distress

Assuming this is all wd, which it most likely is, from my experience, nothing, it's not life-threatening, it's just extremely uncomfortable, of course if there is the ability to distract it's a blessing but in my most difficult waves I found that not much helped other than acceptance, patience, and time.

Are you doing better @Fullhealing ?

I’m experiencing something that I never have before where it feels like there are so many nerves dancing in my back it almost feels like bugs really buzzing around deep in my spine to the point where it feels like it’s going to drive me crazy and all I can do is cry and sometimes scream. It’s horrible.

Edited August 4Aug 4 by Finni

3 minutes ago, Finni said:

Are you doing better @Fullhealing ?

I’m experiencing something that I never have before where it feels like there are so many nerves dancing in my back it almost feels like bugs really buzzing around deep in my spine to the point where it feels like it’s going to drive me crazy and all I can do is cry and sometimes scream. It’s horrible.

Record it all for Adele. She needs to see a full comprehensive 2 week period to really see what is happening. I know it is so hard not to just give in to despair. Just get through this minute. No expectations, no commitments. ❤️🙏

4 minutes ago, Finni said:

I’m experiencing something that I never have before where it feels like there are so many nerves dancing in my back it almost feels like bugs really buzzing around deep in my spine to the point where it feels like it’s going to drive me crazy and all I can do is cry and sometimes scream. It’s horrible.

I'm so sorry, Finny, that sounds awful, from what I remember, I've never experienced anything like that but severe back pain with twitching muscles, yes which are mostly gone but we all have slightly different symptoms in the unwanted withdrawal package /:

11 minutes ago, Finni said:

Are you doing better @Fullhealing

Not necessarily, I have moments when the symptoms do me a little favor and give me a break, this is one of them 🤷

27 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

I'm so sorry, Finny, that sounds awful, from what I remember, I've never experienced anything like that but severe back pain with twitching muscles, yes which are mostly gone but we all have slightly different symptoms in the unwanted withdrawal package /:

Not necessarily, I have moments when the symptoms do me a little favor and give me a break, this is one of them 🤷

I’m glad to hear you’re getting a break, even for a bit ☀️

I’m so sorry about the pain! Love to you across the miles.

Just now, Finni said:

I’m glad to hear you’re getting a break, even for a bit ☀️

I’m so sorry about the pain! Love to you across the miles.

Thanks finni, pain has almost completely gone for a while now so that's a treat, it will happen for you as well with time just keep up the good fight!

You are a strong warrior.

Love back 🤍

Edited August 4Aug 4 by Fullhealing

Just sending some love @Finni while Im passing, you are doing great, keep those records nice and detailed and let us know what Adele has to say. xxxxx

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Just sending some love @Finni while Im passing, you are doing great, keep those records nice and detailed and let us know what Adele has to say. xxxxx

I wish I had figured out how to contact her before trying to reduce July 22.

These symptoms are over the top and way worse.

I’ve never experienced anything like this burning, pounding electricity. Not to this extent

@Chippy

@LostinCanada

I was able to talk to Adele again today, even though it hasn’t been 10 days of symptoms. Luckily, she had an appointment available, even though she said she doesn’t usually on such short notice.

My symptoms have gotten incredibly extreme, and I feel like I’m in some sort of crisis.

It’s been 14 days since trying to reduce .0002 g.

I’m having extreme burning, pounding terror and feeling like a motor is just driving me so hard.

She said that when I’m ready, it might really help to try to split the dose since my body doesn’t seem to like mirtazapine.

We talked about what Dr. Horowitz had said and she thought it might be a good idea to take 1 mg at 5 PM and then the rest at my usual 9:15 PM for three days and then day four try to do 2 mg at 5 PM and the rest at 9:15 PM

I don’t know what to do because I’m so incredibly destabilized more than I ever have been. Feel pounded with driving electricity.

@Finni

Whatever you decide, you have to stick with it. So really make sure you can commit to a change and give it time to see if the change will benefit you.

Thinking of you @Finni , you are suffering to an extreme degree.

Such endurance you have. Be gentle on yourself. xx

14 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

@Finni

Whatever you decide, you have to stick with it. So really make sure you can commit to a change and give it time to see if the change will benefit you.

I agree with Lic @Finni, you have to choose what you think is best but stick to that choice, the brain likes predictablity and often it takes time to see the results. You can have a 'bad' day that you would have had anyways after making a shift, and assume it's the change.

The main thing is to really consider if you think making a change is worthwhile. In WD we are often looking for something to tweak to make things better but end up making things worse in the process. Until you commit to a long hold you can't know if that will help without a crystal ball, so I know it feels like a leap, but I often think this is best. I know it's tough to choose, eventually I think it is important to pick and lane and stick to it, letting go of that need to fix/resist. xxxx

The only thing that is getting me through this horrible time is just knowing that I’ve learned even more about my nervous system now… even microtaper not possible right now…

Another thing I tell myself is this these surges and horrible periods of activation are like a cycle in a dishwasher. I can’t control what the dishwasher is doing… I just have to get through it and believe it will end.

I can’t believe how much better I had gotten before I tried the .0002 reduction.

This is a very sick, floaty poisoned feeling day that was already happening, but now it has intense drilling solar plexus pain and terror on top.

I can’t believe this.

Pain gets worse as day goes on.

Edited August 6Aug 6 by Finni

53 minutes ago, Finni said:

This is a very sick, floaty poisoned feeling day that was already happening, but now it has intense drilling solar plexus pain and terror on top.

I can’t believe this.

Pain gets worse as day goes on.

So sorry for your awful suffering, Finni, you are not alone, just when I thought there was a significant improvement today on my evening walk I was seized by a paralyzing paranoia attack that is still hanging.. cruel beyond words but no choice but to endure.

Hang on, it won't stay that way!

Edited August 6Aug 6 by Fullhealing

5 hours ago, Finni said:

The only thing that is getting me through this horrible time is just knowing that I’ve learned even more about my nervous system now… even microtaper not possible right now…

Another thing I tell myself is this these surges and horrible periods of activation are like a cycle in a dishwasher. I can’t control what the dishwasher is doing… I just have to get through it and believe it will end.

I can’t believe how much better I had gotten before I tried the .0002 reduction.

I like the dishwasher analogy

@Finni It's good you can appreciate how much better you did feel before your drop, hang onto that, proof you can feel better. You just need time without changes now IMO. You are so strong and you have this. Sending much love as always xxxxx

18 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

So sorry for your awful suffering, Finni, you are not alone, just when I thought there was a significant improvement today on my evening walk I was seized by a paralyzing paranoia attack that is still hanging.. cruel beyond words but no choice but to endure.

Hang on, it won't stay that way!

I’m sorry for your suffering!

Hang on! ❤️❣️

Worst pain drilling/boring solar plexus into back

Pressurized

12 minutes ago, Finni said:

Worst pain drilling/boring solar plexus into back

Pressurized

I still have just the same. Actually this and last year this thing became noticeable in my case.

Is it worse in the morning when you wake up?

This is my first morning to wake up with up

30 minutes ago, The Dust said:

I still have just the same. Actually this and last year this thing became noticeable in my case.

Is it worse in the morning when you wake up?

2 minutes ago, Finni said:

This is my first morning to wake up with up

Thanks, I can say something similar. Pain in that area is worse during waking up.

And If you eat something does it become better? Or drink?

Edited August 8Aug 8 by The Dust