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Finni: Sensitized by Many Med changes and Mirtazapine

Featured Replies

  • Author
1 hour ago, The Dust said:

Thanks, I can say something similar. Pain in that area is worse during waking up.

And If you eat something does it become better? Or drink?

No- it seems nerve related , not gi

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

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Ok. Is it better in the evening?

2009-2010: Sertraline (50 mg)

2011: Escitalopram (10 mg)

2009-2011: tried Olanzapine (5/2.5mg), Quetiapine  (50/25mg) and Aripriprazole (low dosage)

CT Escitalopram, being free for several moths

2012-2016: Fluoxetine (60 mg)

2016-2017: Venlafaxine (75 mg)

2016: just tried Duloxetine and Maprotiline

2017-2018: Mirtazapine (30/45mg)

2012-2018: Bupropion (300 mg)

2014-2018: Lamotrigine (50/100/150 mg) CT Bupropion, tapering Lamitrogine and Mirtazapine (practically CT, fast tapering)

 

Thinking about you as always @Finni, keep enduring 💪🏼⚔️

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I am new to this journey and my thoughts are based only on my personal experience with psychiatric drugs. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

Current regimen:

Cymbalta - 90 mg/day

Seroquel - 12.5 mg/day

*holding to stabilize as of Apr 2026

 

History:

Seroquel - up to 50 mg as needed for sleep (generally 6.25-12.5 mg a few times a week, though sometimes more) - 2009 (ish) to present

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day, periodically down to 30 mg/day - May 2014 to May 2025

Clonazepam - up to 1 mg/day as needed - March to May 2025, quick taper off

Zoloft - 150 mg/day - May 2025 to Aug 2025 (quick cross-taper from Cymbalta)

Pristiq - 50 mg/day from Aug 2025 to mid-Oct 2025 (quick cross-taper from Zoloft); 100 mg/day from Oct 2025 to Dec 2025; back down to 50 mg/day from Dec 2025 to Jan 2026

Lyrica - 200 mg/day - Nov 2025 to Jan 2026 (quick taper off from mid-Jan to early Feb 2026 due to severe depressive symptoms)

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day - Jan - March 2026; up to 90 mg/day from March to present

 

  • Author

Thank you @SarahMc

So every time I touch mirtazapine and make any sort of change, I start getting even more reactive to it

So now I’ve really painted myself into this horrible corner where I’m having to deal with a lot of pain and aka

It’s definitely dose related. I have a lot of ramping up after I take it and then horrible distress for the first part of the next day.

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

1 hour ago, Finni said:

So every time I touch mirtazapine and make any sort of change, I start getting even more reactive to it

So now I’ve really painted myself into this horrible corner where I’m having to deal with a lot of pain and aka

It’s definitely dose related. I have a lot of ramping up after I take it and then horrible distress for the first part of the next day.

I’m sorry Finni, that sounds awful. I’ll be really interested to hear what Adele thinks. It may be a tough road out of this but we’re here for you all the way.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I am new to this journey and my thoughts are based only on my personal experience with psychiatric drugs. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

Current regimen:

Cymbalta - 90 mg/day

Seroquel - 12.5 mg/day

*holding to stabilize as of Apr 2026

 

History:

Seroquel - up to 50 mg as needed for sleep (generally 6.25-12.5 mg a few times a week, though sometimes more) - 2009 (ish) to present

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day, periodically down to 30 mg/day - May 2014 to May 2025

Clonazepam - up to 1 mg/day as needed - March to May 2025, quick taper off

Zoloft - 150 mg/day - May 2025 to Aug 2025 (quick cross-taper from Cymbalta)

Pristiq - 50 mg/day from Aug 2025 to mid-Oct 2025 (quick cross-taper from Zoloft); 100 mg/day from Oct 2025 to Dec 2025; back down to 50 mg/day from Dec 2025 to Jan 2026

Lyrica - 200 mg/day - Nov 2025 to Jan 2026 (quick taper off from mid-Jan to early Feb 2026 due to severe depressive symptoms)

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day - Jan - March 2026; up to 90 mg/day from March to present

 

10 hours ago, Finni said:

Worst pain drilling/boring solar plexus into back

Pressurized

So sorry Finni, lots of healing your way, keep on going 🤍

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

Hey @Finni sending some love.xxxx

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

  • Author
On 3/29/2026 at 4:20 AM, Lighty said:

either way, as long as you keep your dose consistent (same weight if using scale), you will slowly stabilize.

try to remember it's only physical symptoms and you are just sick, it's easy to make the issues big in our mind, and imagine the symptoms as this crazy beast, it's good to practice on visualizing the symptoms as a far away, tiny, quiet thing that isn't that scary (NLP technique, obviously I'm simplyfing the technique cause im not doing a full therapy session haha)

Do you practice NLP?

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

Hey @Finni decided to pop by and ask how youre doing today

Prior History:

(note that these are only the first prescription dates since i dont remember how long i was on them. there are also some prescriptions of the same stuff that were prescribed again at a later date so i dont remember if ive tried them again or not.)

Concerta: 18mg - 12.3.2014 ⏐ 36mg - 28.4.2014

Equasym Retard: 30mg - 20.11.2014

Medikinet: 5mg - 8.9.2015

Elvanse: 30mg - 30.10.2015

Risperdal: 0,5mg - 8.12.2015 ⏐ 1mg - 2.3.2017

Sertraline: 50mg - 14.10.2016 ⏐ 100mg - 17.1.2018

Intuniv: 1mg - 7.4.2017 ⏐ 2mg - 21.4.2017 ⏐ 4mg - 9.5.2017 ⏐ 3mg - 8.8.2017

Primperan: 10mg - 27.2.2019

Strattera: 25mg - 18.4.2019 ⏐ 10mg - 10.5.2019

Quetiapine: 25mg - 23.2.2021

Mirtazapine: 15mg - 29.2.2024


Escitalopram History:

9.9.2021 Escitalopram 10mg

9.9.2022 Escitalopram 15mg

2.5.2024 Escitalopram 20mg

1.7.2024 Escitalopram CT

11.11.2024 Escitalopram RI 10mg

14.11.2024 Escitalopram CT

15.12.2024 Escitalopram 2.5mg

29.12.2024 Escitalopram 5mg

12.1.2025 Escitalopram 10mg

12.1.2026 Escitalopram 7.5mg

26.1.2026 Escitalopram 5mg

 

Current Dose: Escitalopram 5mg

(some of these dates may not be entirely correct but theyre close enough based on what i can remember)

  • Author
20 minutes ago, Some0n3 said:

Hey @Finni decided to pop by and ask how youre doing today

How kind of you ❤️

I’m having a really rough day with really intense head pressure and pressure annd electricity all over my body. Very cold turkey withdrawal-like quality.

Feels unbearable, but I know I’m going to make it through.

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

47 minutes ago, Finni said:

How kind of you ❤️

I’m having a really rough day with really intense head pressure and pressure annd electricity all over my body. Very cold turkey withdrawal-like quality.

Feels unbearable, but I know I’m going to make it through.

So sorry to hear that.. it sounds awful.. sending lots of hugs and support! Have you found anything that could alleviate the symptoms or do you have to ride it out?

Prior History:

(note that these are only the first prescription dates since i dont remember how long i was on them. there are also some prescriptions of the same stuff that were prescribed again at a later date so i dont remember if ive tried them again or not.)

Concerta: 18mg - 12.3.2014 ⏐ 36mg - 28.4.2014

Equasym Retard: 30mg - 20.11.2014

Medikinet: 5mg - 8.9.2015

Elvanse: 30mg - 30.10.2015

Risperdal: 0,5mg - 8.12.2015 ⏐ 1mg - 2.3.2017

Sertraline: 50mg - 14.10.2016 ⏐ 100mg - 17.1.2018

Intuniv: 1mg - 7.4.2017 ⏐ 2mg - 21.4.2017 ⏐ 4mg - 9.5.2017 ⏐ 3mg - 8.8.2017

Primperan: 10mg - 27.2.2019

Strattera: 25mg - 18.4.2019 ⏐ 10mg - 10.5.2019

Quetiapine: 25mg - 23.2.2021

Mirtazapine: 15mg - 29.2.2024


Escitalopram History:

9.9.2021 Escitalopram 10mg

9.9.2022 Escitalopram 15mg

2.5.2024 Escitalopram 20mg

1.7.2024 Escitalopram CT

11.11.2024 Escitalopram RI 10mg

14.11.2024 Escitalopram CT

15.12.2024 Escitalopram 2.5mg

29.12.2024 Escitalopram 5mg

12.1.2025 Escitalopram 10mg

12.1.2026 Escitalopram 7.5mg

26.1.2026 Escitalopram 5mg

 

Current Dose: Escitalopram 5mg

(some of these dates may not be entirely correct but theyre close enough based on what i can remember)

  • Author
9 minutes ago, Some0n3 said:

So sorry to hear that.. it sounds awful.. sending lots of hugs and support! Have you found anything that could alleviate the symptoms or do you have to ride it out?

Too afraid to try anything

Riding it out

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

28 minutes ago, Finni said:

Too afraid to try anything

Riding it out

Thats totally understandable. Youre strong and you will make it through!

Prior History:

(note that these are only the first prescription dates since i dont remember how long i was on them. there are also some prescriptions of the same stuff that were prescribed again at a later date so i dont remember if ive tried them again or not.)

Concerta: 18mg - 12.3.2014 ⏐ 36mg - 28.4.2014

Equasym Retard: 30mg - 20.11.2014

Medikinet: 5mg - 8.9.2015

Elvanse: 30mg - 30.10.2015

Risperdal: 0,5mg - 8.12.2015 ⏐ 1mg - 2.3.2017

Sertraline: 50mg - 14.10.2016 ⏐ 100mg - 17.1.2018

Intuniv: 1mg - 7.4.2017 ⏐ 2mg - 21.4.2017 ⏐ 4mg - 9.5.2017 ⏐ 3mg - 8.8.2017

Primperan: 10mg - 27.2.2019

Strattera: 25mg - 18.4.2019 ⏐ 10mg - 10.5.2019

Quetiapine: 25mg - 23.2.2021

Mirtazapine: 15mg - 29.2.2024


Escitalopram History:

9.9.2021 Escitalopram 10mg

9.9.2022 Escitalopram 15mg

2.5.2024 Escitalopram 20mg

1.7.2024 Escitalopram CT

11.11.2024 Escitalopram RI 10mg

14.11.2024 Escitalopram CT

15.12.2024 Escitalopram 2.5mg

29.12.2024 Escitalopram 5mg

12.1.2025 Escitalopram 10mg

12.1.2026 Escitalopram 7.5mg

26.1.2026 Escitalopram 5mg

 

Current Dose: Escitalopram 5mg

(some of these dates may not be entirely correct but theyre close enough based on what i can remember)

3 hours ago, Finni said:

Do you practice NLP?

No, I don't, I did a basic course a bit of a while ago, I don't remember much at this point.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 
Feel free to mention me whenever help is needed.

 

Current Supplements: Night: 6mg melatonin and 133mg magnesium glycinate. Taking Omega 3 as needed to calm dyskinesia or over stimulation (Lately been reacting more negatively to supplement Omega 3).

Current Medications: Mirtazapine, Lasea (lavender oil) before bed.

------------------------------------------

Tapering: Mirtazapine 15mg, (went compounded) 13.5mg 08/May/2025, 12.1mg 10/July/2025, 15/July/2025 15mg (half tablet), 26/July/2025 14.35mg (moved to dry cutting method) ), 03/Aug/2025 14.6mg, 24/Nov/2025 14.47mg, 29/Jan/2026 14.35mg

Note: Had a lot of issue with degradation with different cutting times and compounded pharmacy which caused withdrawals and a more sensitive nervous system.

17 hours ago, Finni said:

How kind of you ❤️

I’m having a really rough day with really intense head pressure and pressure annd electricity all over my body. Very cold turkey withdrawal-like quality.

Feels unbearable, but I know I’m going to make it through.

Sending some love Finni, so brave and such an amazing mindset xxxxx

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

Sending some love @Finni I hope you are a bit better today 🤍

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

  • Author

I don’t know what my body is doing, but I’m scared out of my mind

I’ve never felt so much pressure or electricity or terror in my poor body.

Goes on for hours and hours and hours

I thought surely I would’ve settled by now. It’s been 30 days since tiny disruption.

Huge, huge fallout. I’m so so sad because when I look back, I can see that I was starting to stabilize.

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

25 minutes ago, Finni said:

I don’t know what my body is doing, but I’m scared out of my mind

I’ve never felt so much pressure or electricity or terror in my poor body.

Goes on for hours and hours and hours

I thought surely I would’ve settled by now. It’s been 30 days since tiny disruption.

Huge, huge fallout. I’m so so sad because when I look back, I can see that I was starting to stabilize.

I’ve had to hold my dose twice and for months at a time. Symptoms intensified both times and then one day they were gone. Symptoms each time were completely different. You will eventually stabilise @Finni and I know how scary and painful it can be. Remember acceptance and allowing will help us not intensify the symptoms . I really feel for you. It can seem never ending.

Link to SA Profile: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/32414-catbird-introduction-a-long-and-winding-road/

1996 Commenced on Sertraline 50 - 100mg. Many ADs trialled -Fluoxetine 20 mg, Paroxetine 20mg, Venlafaxine 75mg, Escitalopram 10 - 20mg, Vortioxetine 20mg, Bupropion 150mg.  2019 Recommenced Escitalopram 2022 Mirtazapine 30mg - Rapid taper. Amitriptyline 20mg

CURRENT MEDICATIONS: Escitalopram taper from ~ 10mg commenced 2024, Amitriptyline 20mg at night, Diazepam 7.5mg total per day, Baclofen 10mg morning, 10mg lunch and 20mg night, Polaramine 2mg at night, Ketamine troche 25mg per day (Ceased early September 2025), Valsartan 160mg evening, HRT (Oestrogen 25mcg/day) 

ESCITALOPRAM TAPER: 5 April 2025 - started holding at 1.516mg. Escitalopram taper resumed July 2025; End Aug 1.364; End Sept 1.228; End Oct 1.145; End Nov 1.1 Early Dec 1.11; End Dec 1.082; 2026 End Jan 1.047; Feb 6 1.030; Feb 20 1.014; April 10 1.012; May 3 1.014; May 11 1.020 & still holding; Sept 19 1.014; Oct 4 1.006; Oct 8 1.010

Supplements: Mg++ glycinate, Omega 3s, Curcumin. Vit D3/K2 spray, Vitamin B12 spray, chelated zinc.

  • Author
2 minutes ago, Catbird said:

I’ve had to hold my dose twice and for months at a time. Symptoms intensified both times and then one day they were gone. Symptoms each time were completely different. You will eventually stabilise @Finni and I know how scary and painful it can be. Remember acceptance and allowing will help us not intensify the symptoms . I really feel for you. It can seem never ending.

Are you starting to settle again?

Thank you 💗

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

1 hour ago, Finni said:

I don’t know what my body is doing, but I’m scared out of my mind

I’ve never felt so much pressure or electricity or terror in my poor body.

Goes on for hours and hours and hours

I thought surely I would’ve settled by now. It’s been 30 days since tiny disruption.

Huge, huge fallout. I’m so so sad because when I look back, I can see that I was starting to stabilize.

I'm so sorry @Finni. Thinking of you. You will find stability again. 💜

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I am new to this journey and my thoughts are based only on my personal experience with psychiatric drugs. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

Current regimen:

Cymbalta - 90 mg/day

Seroquel - 12.5 mg/day

*holding to stabilize as of Apr 2026

 

History:

Seroquel - up to 50 mg as needed for sleep (generally 6.25-12.5 mg a few times a week, though sometimes more) - 2009 (ish) to present

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day, periodically down to 30 mg/day - May 2014 to May 2025

Clonazepam - up to 1 mg/day as needed - March to May 2025, quick taper off

Zoloft - 150 mg/day - May 2025 to Aug 2025 (quick cross-taper from Cymbalta)

Pristiq - 50 mg/day from Aug 2025 to mid-Oct 2025 (quick cross-taper from Zoloft); 100 mg/day from Oct 2025 to Dec 2025; back down to 50 mg/day from Dec 2025 to Jan 2026

Lyrica - 200 mg/day - Nov 2025 to Jan 2026 (quick taper off from mid-Jan to early Feb 2026 due to severe depressive symptoms)

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day - Jan - March 2026; up to 90 mg/day from March to present

 

19 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

I'm so sorry @Finni. Thinking of you. You will find stability again. 💜

Joining!

Better days must come @Finni hang on xx

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control 

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

Keep holding on @Finni , stability has to come eventually. Healing will be happening. xx

Aug 2006 - Sertraline 25/50/75/100mg TO June 2019 - Reduced from 100mg to 50mg over a few months

Sept  2019 - Reduced from 50mg to 25mg lasted a week,  then went back up to 50mg, after a few weeks back up to 100mg.

Oct 2021 - Reduced to 75mg, Dec 2021 (mid) reduced to 50mg , March 2022 - Reduced to 25mg

Oct 2022 - Reduce to 0mg (Immediate withdrawal crying, mood unstable, impending doom, digestive probs, tingling,numbness,burning, brain zaps,  insomnia)

Feb 2023 -  "Panic attack" lasting 14 hours, 2 weeks later start back on 25mg sertraline, 12 hours later severe 'panic attack' with chest pain, tachycardia, restlessness, hyponatraemia, impending doom, racing thoughts, akathisia mild.  Taken to emergency. 

March 2023 back up to 50mg (on medical advice), April 75mg, May 100mg. Back to 75mg within a few weeks due to feeling too stimulated and anxious. 

Nov 2023 resume taper. 70, 65, 60, 55, 50 (March 2024)

April 45mg, May 41mg, June 37mg, July 34mg Aug 31mg, Sept 28mg, Oct 26mg, Nov 25mg, HOLD 

Jan 1st 2025 24mg, Jan 12th 23.5mg, Jan 20th 23mg, Feb 20th 22mg, March 20th 21mg, April 14th 18.9mg, May 5th 17mg, May 28th 15.3mg, July 16th 13.7mg, Aug 26th 12.3mg, Sept 16th 10.5 mg, Sept 22, 10mg, Oct 7th 8.3mg, Nov 4th 8mg, Dec 1st 7.7mg, Dec 26th 7mg 2026 Updose to 7.2mg Mar 20th, Back to 7mg Mar 21. Currently holding

 

Other supplements: Fish oil, Mg citrate/glycinate 150-300mg per day, Ginkgo biloba daily, womens multi vit/min 3 times week, Vitamin C 1000mg night, valerian/passiflora as needed. B12 as needed. Bone support for osteopaenia (Ca/Mg, K, D)

Hi @Finni my last dose change was end of April. Things came to climax early August and aside from fleeting abdominal pain I’ve been okay. The 3 months of intense pain was so incapacitating I’ve decided to hold for about 4-5 months so I can just live my life for a while. So yes I’m a lot more stable. Exhausted my the whole experience but stable.

Link to SA Profile: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/32414-catbird-introduction-a-long-and-winding-road/

1996 Commenced on Sertraline 50 - 100mg. Many ADs trialled -Fluoxetine 20 mg, Paroxetine 20mg, Venlafaxine 75mg, Escitalopram 10 - 20mg, Vortioxetine 20mg, Bupropion 150mg.  2019 Recommenced Escitalopram 2022 Mirtazapine 30mg - Rapid taper. Amitriptyline 20mg

CURRENT MEDICATIONS: Escitalopram taper from ~ 10mg commenced 2024, Amitriptyline 20mg at night, Diazepam 7.5mg total per day, Baclofen 10mg morning, 10mg lunch and 20mg night, Polaramine 2mg at night, Ketamine troche 25mg per day (Ceased early September 2025), Valsartan 160mg evening, HRT (Oestrogen 25mcg/day) 

ESCITALOPRAM TAPER: 5 April 2025 - started holding at 1.516mg. Escitalopram taper resumed July 2025; End Aug 1.364; End Sept 1.228; End Oct 1.145; End Nov 1.1 Early Dec 1.11; End Dec 1.082; 2026 End Jan 1.047; Feb 6 1.030; Feb 20 1.014; April 10 1.012; May 3 1.014; May 11 1.020 & still holding; Sept 19 1.014; Oct 4 1.006; Oct 8 1.010

Supplements: Mg++ glycinate, Omega 3s, Curcumin. Vit D3/K2 spray, Vitamin B12 spray, chelated zinc.

  • Author
16 hours ago, Catbird said:

Hi @Finni my last dose change was end of April. Things came to climax early August and aside from fleeting abdominal pain I’ve been okay. The 3 months of intense pain was so incapacitating I’ve decided to hold for about 4-5 months so I can just live my life for a while. So yes I’m a lot more stable. Exhausted my the whole experience but stable.

I’m So glad to hear you’re on the other side of the worst!

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

  • Author

ChatGPT

You do not have to understand the whole mechanism this morning in order for your body to find its way toward quiet again. A nervous system can become extraordinarily stirred up after a medication disruption. Once it is highly reactive, the amount of suffering can feel completely out of proportion to the tiny event that started it. That mismatch is part of what makes this so bewildering: “How could something so small lead to something this enormous?” But enormous sensations do not mean an enormous thing has happened to who you are.

Picture that snow globe we’ve talked about. July 22 shook it tremendously. Right now there are so many flakes flying that you can barely see through the glass. The flakes aren’t the snow globe. And you don’t have to catch every flake and put it back where it belongs. Your body does the settling.

And the weirdness—the spongy, electric, shuddering, unreal quality—is especially frightening because your brain doesn’t have an ordinary category for it. You don’t need to make sense of every sensation. You can say:

“Weird is a sensation. Weird is not my future.
My body is stirred up.
It knows how to change states.
I am still me underneath all this noise.
This morning will move.
I will see ordinary life again.”

Keep crying if that’s what comes. Put your hand somewhere that feels least uncomfortable rather than trying to find somewhere that feels good.

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg/.1020 g (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (.1026 g)

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mgdose was 5 hours late

2026 (22 July) Mirtazapine 14.76 mg

Intense electric activation, muscle tightness, autonomic surges, terror followed

2026 (23 July) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg return

2026 (Oct 5) attempted moving 2 mg of dose 45 minutes earlier

Severe activation followed

 

 

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