On 6/24/2026 at 10:28 PM, Finni said:

6/24/26

Pep talk from ChatGPT

Julie 💜,

This morning is brutal.

The carnival-ride feeling is brutal.
The electricity is brutal.
The pounding head and tailbone sensations are brutal.
The terror is brutal.

You do not have to pretend otherwise.

But listen to me:

You have already survived every wave that has told you it was impossible to survive.

Every one.

The January waves.
The March waves.
The April waves.
The May chaos.
The June storms.

Each one arrived with the same message:

“This is too much.”

“You can’t do this.”

“Something has gone terribly wrong.”

And yet here you are.

Not because it was easy.
Not because you enjoyed it.
Not because you weren’t terrified.

Because you kept going.

Right now your nervous system is throwing sparks, sirens, flashing lights, and carnival rides at you all at once. It is creating an experience that feels bigger than a human being should have to endure.

But feelings are not forecasts.

This morning does not get to decide your future.

This morning does not get to tell you what July looks like.

This morning does not get to tell you who you’ll be on your birthday.

All this morning gets to be is:

a very hard morning.

You took your dose.
You made it through the night.
You made it to 6:00.
You made it to 6:40.
You made it to 7:00.
You made it to 7:15.

The clock is still moving.

And that matters.

Because every time the clock moves, you’re proving something the terror says is impossible.

You are proving:

“I can be frightened and still continue.”

“I can be overwhelmed and still continue.”

“I can cry and still continue.”

“I can shake and still continue.”

Julie, I believe there is a future version of you who is sitting on a porch, petting Finn, watching birds at your bluebird houses, and looking back on this period with disbelief that it was ever this intense.

You do not have to see that future today.

You only have to keep walking toward it.

One minute.
One breath.
One wave.

The road is still there, even when the storm is so thick you can’t see around the next bend. 💜🌅

This is helpful dear @Finni , thanks for sharing.

So sorry you are in such a brutal and fierce wave. This journey is beyond belief really.

Hugs to you xx

3 hours ago, Tracey said:

This is helpful dear @Finni , thanks for sharing.

So sorry you are in such a brutal and fierce wave. This journey is beyond belief really.

Hugs to you xx

Hugs back 💗🌞

4 hours ago, Lighty said:

yeah, but you can also just make the tablet before taking it, will be easier if you are able to consistently make your tablets before needing to take them.

I filed a tablet about 5 minutes before taking it last night

Slept like a log

Time will tell if this is an issue or not or if that was just a coincidence.

For now, I will just keep filing right before bedtime

6 minutes ago, Finni said:

For now, I will just keep filing right before bedtime

yeah that would solve possible degredation issues.

Edited June 28Jun 28 by Lighty

6/28/26

Felt cold turkey- like withdrawal most of day

Felt better in evening!

Played games

Good appetite

Watched movie with Mom

Laughed

Filed mirt 5 minutes before 9:15 dose

Dread, rocking sensations, vibrations about 30 minutes after

Slept well

Now it’s 7:20 AM I’m having so much electricity and pounding in my torso with big rocking and bouncing sensations and nausea

I’m going to be watching for a pattern because it seems like every time mirtazapine really knocks me out, I have more electricity in my body as I wake up and come online the next day.

Edited June 28Jun 28 by Finni

2 hours ago, Finni said:

6/28/26

Felt cold turkey- like withdrawal most of day

Felt better in evening!

Played games

Good appetite

Watched movie with Mom

Laughed

Filed mirt 5 minutes before 9:15 dose

Dread, rocking sensations, vibrations about 30 minutes after

Slept well

Now it’s 7:20 AM I’m having so much electricity and pounding in my torso with big rocking and bouncing sensations and nausea

I’m going to be watching for a pattern because it seems like every time mirtazapine really knocks me out, I have more electricity in my body as I wake up and come online the next day.

I'm glad to hear you had a "mini window" in the evening. It makes sense you are monitoring to see if there is a definite pattern. It doesn't sound random to me. I'd be curious to know if you mentioned your delayed dose experience a few weeks ago to Horowicz and Peacock, and if so, what their take was on that and how it may relate to adverse/paradoxical reaction and withdrawal. Knowing you like Chatgpt, here is what it has to say regarding your situation, including the potential pattern:

Yes, this is becoming a fairly consistent pattern in what you've shared from Finni over the past several weeks, and I think it's worth distinguishing between what we can observe and what we can conclude.

The observable pattern

From today's entry and previous ones you've shown me, the sequence often looks like this:

• Morning: Severe "electricity," pounding torso, rocking, vibrations, nausea, dread.

• Afternoon: Symptoms gradually begin easing.

• Evening (before dose): She often reports her best functioning:

  • able to play games

  • laughs

  • watches a movie

  • appetite returns

  • describes feeling significantly better

• 30 minutes after mirtazapine: Dread, rocking sensations, vibrations begin again.

• Sleep: Usually sleeps reasonably well.

• Next morning: Wakes with marked autonomic symptoms ("electricity," pounding, rocking, nausea).

That sequence has repeated enough that it doesn't look random.

---

Does this prove mirtazapine is causing it?

No—but it certainly raises a hypothesis.

There are several possibilities.

1. Acute pharmacologic effect of each dose

Mirtazapine reaches peak blood concentrations roughly 2 hours after dosing, although some people notice effects much sooner.

If someone has become unusually sensitive, an acute dose could theoretically produce:

• increased internal vibrations

• dysphoria

• autonomic activation

• paradoxical restlessness

The fact that she notices symptoms beginning within about 30 minutes fits better with an acute medication effect than with ordinary interdose withdrawal.

---

2. Sedation masking symptoms

Another possibility is:

• dose causes heavy sedation

• she sleeps through much of the acute effect

• as the sedation wears off the next morning, the underlying activation becomes obvious.

She even writes:

"every time mirtazapine really knocks me out, I have more electricity in my body as I wake up."

That observation is internally consistent.

---

3. Circadian rhythm

Many withdrawal syndromes naturally fluctuate over the day.

People often report:

• mornings worst

• evenings best

independent of medication timing.

So some of what she's experiencing could simply reflect her nervous system's daily rhythm.

---

The evening improvement is interesting

One thing that stands out is that her best functioning frequently occurs immediately before the next dose.

If the medication were providing steady symptom relief, you'd almost expect the opposite—that she'd deteriorate as the dose "wears off."

Instead she often reports:

felt better

laughed

played games

appetite good

just before dosing.

That doesn't prove the medication is making her worse, but it does make the pattern worth paying attention to.

---

Her medication history adds context

Looking at her timeline, she appears extraordinarily medication-sensitive.

Examples include:

• paradoxical lorazepam

• gabapentin becoming paradoxical

• hydroxyzine paradoxical

• quetiapine becoming increasingly activating

• 22.5 mg mirtazapine causing marked overstimulation within two days

• tiny dose adjustments (14.79 → 14.70 mg) associated with significant symptom changes

That doesn't necessarily mean every reported reaction was caused by the medication—withdrawal itself can make people hyper-reactive—but it does suggest that her nervous system has behaved in an unusually sensitive manner across multiple drug classes.

---

One limitation

One thing I'd still like to see is a more systematic log.

For example:

Time	Symptoms (0–10)
7 AM
Noon
5 PM
8 PM (pre-dose)
9:45 PM
Midnight

After several weeks, that would make it much easier to distinguish:

• circadian improvement,

• medication-related worsening,

• random fluctuations.

Right now we're relying on narrative descriptions, which are useful but less precise.

---

Overall impression

I think today's post strengthens the observation that Finni experiences a reproducible daily rhythm in which she often feels relatively best in the evening before taking mirtazapine, followed by worsening after the nightly dose and again upon awakening.

That pattern is compatible with an acute medication effect, but it is not specific enough to establish causation. Other explanations—such as circadian variation in a sensitized nervous system, lingering withdrawal from prior medications, or a combination of these—remain plausible.

Given how consistently she reports this sequence, keeping a structured symptom diary over a few weeks would likely provide stronger evidence than isolated daily narratives and could help determine whether the relationship to dosing is genuine or simply coincides with her natural symptom cycle.

1 hour ago, Gaucho said:

I'm glad to hear you had a "mini window" in the evening. It makes sense you are monitoring to see if there is a definite pattern. It doesn't sound random to me. I'd be curious to know if you mentioned your delayed dose experience a few weeks ago to Horowicz and Peacock, and if so, what their take was on that and how it may relate to adverse/paradoxical reaction and withdrawal. Knowing you like Chatgpt, here is what it has to say regarding your situation, including the potential pattern:

Yes, this is becoming a fairly consistent pattern in what you've shared from Finni over the past several weeks, and I think it's worth distinguishing between what we can observe and what we can conclude.

The observable pattern

From today's entry and previous ones you've shown me, the sequence often looks like this:

• Morning: Severe "electricity," pounding torso, rocking, vibrations, nausea, dread.

• Afternoon: Symptoms gradually begin easing.

• Evening (before dose): She often reports her best functioning:

  • able to play games

  • laughs

  • watches a movie

  • appetite returns

  • describes feeling significantly better

• 30 minutes after mirtazapine: Dread, rocking sensations, vibrations begin again.

• Sleep: Usually sleeps reasonably well.

• Next morning: Wakes with marked autonomic symptoms ("electricity," pounding, rocking, nausea).

That sequence has repeated enough that it doesn't look random.

---

Does this prove mirtazapine is causing it?

No—but it certainly raises a hypothesis.

There are several possibilities.

1. Acute pharmacologic effect of each dose

Mirtazapine reaches peak blood concentrations roughly 2 hours after dosing, although some people notice effects much sooner.

If someone has become unusually sensitive, an acute dose could theoretically produce:

• increased internal vibrations

• dysphoria

• autonomic activation

• paradoxical restlessness

The fact that she notices symptoms beginning within about 30 minutes fits better with an acute medication effect than with ordinary interdose withdrawal.

---

2. Sedation masking symptoms

Another possibility is:

• dose causes heavy sedation

• she sleeps through much of the acute effect

• as the sedation wears off the next morning, the underlying activation becomes obvious.

She even writes:

That observation is internally consistent.

---

3. Circadian rhythm

Many withdrawal syndromes naturally fluctuate over the day.

People often report:

• mornings worst

• evenings best

independent of medication timing.

So some of what she's experiencing could simply reflect her nervous system's daily rhythm.

---

The evening improvement is interesting

One thing that stands out is that her best functioning frequently occurs immediately before the next dose.

If the medication were providing steady symptom relief, you'd almost expect the opposite—that she'd deteriorate as the dose "wears off."

Instead she often reports:

just before dosing.

That doesn't prove the medication is making her worse, but it does make the pattern worth paying attention to.

---

Her medication history adds context

Looking at her timeline, she appears extraordinarily medication-sensitive.

Examples include:

• paradoxical lorazepam

• gabapentin becoming paradoxical

• hydroxyzine paradoxical

• quetiapine becoming increasingly activating

• 22.5 mg mirtazapine causing marked overstimulation within two days

• tiny dose adjustments (14.79 → 14.70 mg) associated with significant symptom changes

That doesn't necessarily mean every reported reaction was caused by the medication—withdrawal itself can make people hyper-reactive—but it does suggest that her nervous system has behaved in an unusually sensitive manner across multiple drug classes.

---

One limitation

One thing I'd still like to see is a more systematic log.

For example:

Time	Symptoms (0–10)
7 AM
Noon
5 PM
8 PM (pre-dose)
9:45 PM
Midnight

After several weeks, that would make it much easier to distinguish:

• circadian improvement,

• medication-related worsening,

• random fluctuations.

Right now we're relying on narrative descriptions, which are useful but less precise.

---

Overall impression

I think today's post strengthens the observation that Finni experiences a reproducible daily rhythm in which she often feels relatively best in the evening before taking mirtazapine, followed by worsening after the nightly dose and again upon awakening.

That pattern is compatible with an acute medication effect, but it is not specific enough to establish causation. Other explanations—such as circadian variation in a sensitized nervous system, lingering withdrawal from prior medications, or a combination of these—remain plausible.

Given how consistently she reports this sequence, keeping a structured symptom diary over a few weeks would likely provide stronger evidence than isolated daily narratives and could help determine whether the relationship to dosing is genuine or simply coincides with her natural symptom cycle.

Wow- that’s good stuff! I talk to Angie July 1

I think Mark had that information when he responded to my paid email and he said just to keep holding with no changes

Edited June 28Jun 28 by Finni

1 hour ago, Gaucho said:

I'm glad to hear you had a "mini window" in the evening. It makes sense you are monitoring to see if there is a definite pattern. It doesn't sound random to me. I'd be curious to know if you mentioned your delayed dose experience a few weeks ago to Horowicz and Peacock, and if so, what their take was on that and how it may relate to adverse/paradoxical reaction and withdrawal. Knowing you like Chatgpt, here is what it has to say regarding your situation, including the potential pattern:

Yes, this is becoming a fairly consistent pattern in what you've shared from Finni over the past several weeks, and I think it's worth distinguishing between what we can observe and what we can conclude.

The observable pattern

From today's entry and previous ones you've shown me, the sequence often looks like this:

• Morning: Severe "electricity," pounding torso, rocking, vibrations, nausea, dread.

• Afternoon: Symptoms gradually begin easing.

• Evening (before dose): She often reports her best functioning:

  • able to play games

  • laughs

  • watches a movie

  • appetite returns

  • describes feeling significantly better

• 30 minutes after mirtazapine: Dread, rocking sensations, vibrations begin again.

• Sleep: Usually sleeps reasonably well.

• Next morning: Wakes with marked autonomic symptoms ("electricity," pounding, rocking, nausea).

That sequence has repeated enough that it doesn't look random.

---

Does this prove mirtazapine is causing it?

No—but it certainly raises a hypothesis.

There are several possibilities.

1. Acute pharmacologic effect of each dose

Mirtazapine reaches peak blood concentrations roughly 2 hours after dosing, although some people notice effects much sooner.

If someone has become unusually sensitive, an acute dose could theoretically produce:

• increased internal vibrations

• dysphoria

• autonomic activation

• paradoxical restlessness

The fact that she notices symptoms beginning within about 30 minutes fits better with an acute medication effect than with ordinary interdose withdrawal.

---

2. Sedation masking symptoms

Another possibility is:

• dose causes heavy sedation

• she sleeps through much of the acute effect

• as the sedation wears off the next morning, the underlying activation becomes obvious.

She even writes:

That observation is internally consistent.

---

3. Circadian rhythm

Many withdrawal syndromes naturally fluctuate over the day.

People often report:

• mornings worst

• evenings best

independent of medication timing.

So some of what she's experiencing could simply reflect her nervous system's daily rhythm.

---

The evening improvement is interesting

One thing that stands out is that her best functioning frequently occurs immediately before the next dose.

If the medication were providing steady symptom relief, you'd almost expect the opposite—that she'd deteriorate as the dose "wears off."

Instead she often reports:

just before dosing.

That doesn't prove the medication is making her worse, but it does make the pattern worth paying attention to.

---

Her medication history adds context

Looking at her timeline, she appears extraordinarily medication-sensitive.

Examples include:

• paradoxical lorazepam

• gabapentin becoming paradoxical

• hydroxyzine paradoxical

• quetiapine becoming increasingly activating

• 22.5 mg mirtazapine causing marked overstimulation within two days

• tiny dose adjustments (14.79 → 14.70 mg) associated with significant symptom changes

That doesn't necessarily mean every reported reaction was caused by the medication—withdrawal itself can make people hyper-reactive—but it does suggest that her nervous system has behaved in an unusually sensitive manner across multiple drug classes.

---

One limitation

One thing I'd still like to see is a more systematic log.

For example:

Time	Symptoms (0–10)
7 AM
Noon
5 PM
8 PM (pre-dose)
9:45 PM
Midnight

After several weeks, that would make it much easier to distinguish:

• circadian improvement,

• medication-related worsening,

• random fluctuations.

Right now we're relying on narrative descriptions, which are useful but less precise.

---

Overall impression

I think today's post strengthens the observation that Finni experiences a reproducible daily rhythm in which she often feels relatively best in the evening before taking mirtazapine, followed by worsening after the nightly dose and again upon awakening.

That pattern is compatible with an acute medication effect, but it is not specific enough to establish causation. Other explanations—such as circadian variation in a sensitized nervous system, lingering withdrawal from prior medications, or a combination of these—remain plausible.

Given how consistently she reports this sequence, keeping a structured symptom diary over a few weeks would likely provide stronger evidence than isolated daily narratives and could help determine whether the relationship to dosing is genuine or simply coincides with her natural symptom cycle.

My ChatGPT has been kind of helping me track things.

I seem to oscillate between days of feeling like I don’t have enough mirtazapine and days where I feel like I’m being overmedicated and ekectrocuted by it.

I’ve had a big increase in solar plexus, pain, and electricity that stays locked on for hours since taking the full tablet Tuesday. It is the same weight, but you can probably go back and see that discussion.

2 hours ago, Gaucho said:

I'm glad to hear you had a "mini window" in the evening. It makes sense you are monitoring to see if there is a definite pattern. It doesn't sound random to me. I'd be curious to know if you mentioned your delayed dose experience a few weeks ago to Horowicz and Peacock, and if so, what their take was on that and how it may relate to adverse/paradoxical reaction and withdrawal. Knowing you like Chatgpt, here is what it has to say regarding your situation, including the potential pattern:

Yes, this is becoming a fairly consistent pattern in what you've shared from Finni over the past several weeks, and I think it's worth distinguishing between what we can observe and what we can conclude.

The observable pattern

From today's entry and previous ones you've shown me, the sequence often looks like this:

• Morning: Severe "electricity," pounding torso, rocking, vibrations, nausea, dread.

• Afternoon: Symptoms gradually begin easing.

• Evening (before dose): She often reports her best functioning:

  • able to play games

  • laughs

  • watches a movie

  • appetite returns

  • describes feeling significantly better

• 30 minutes after mirtazapine: Dread, rocking sensations, vibrations begin again.

• Sleep: Usually sleeps reasonably well.

• Next morning: Wakes with marked autonomic symptoms ("electricity," pounding, rocking, nausea).

That sequence has repeated enough that it doesn't look random.

---

Does this prove mirtazapine is causing it?

No—but it certainly raises a hypothesis.

There are several possibilities.

1. Acute pharmacologic effect of each dose

Mirtazapine reaches peak blood concentrations roughly 2 hours after dosing, although some people notice effects much sooner.

If someone has become unusually sensitive, an acute dose could theoretically produce:

• increased internal vibrations

• dysphoria

• autonomic activation

• paradoxical restlessness

The fact that she notices symptoms beginning within about 30 minutes fits better with an acute medication effect than with ordinary interdose withdrawal.

---

2. Sedation masking symptoms

Another possibility is:

• dose causes heavy sedation

• she sleeps through much of the acute effect

• as the sedation wears off the next morning, the underlying activation becomes obvious.

She even writes:

That observation is internally consistent.

---

3. Circadian rhythm

Many withdrawal syndromes naturally fluctuate over the day.

People often report:

• mornings worst

• evenings best

independent of medication timing.

So some of what she's experiencing could simply reflect her nervous system's daily rhythm.

---

The evening improvement is interesting

One thing that stands out is that her best functioning frequently occurs immediately before the next dose.

If the medication were providing steady symptom relief, you'd almost expect the opposite—that she'd deteriorate as the dose "wears off."

Instead she often reports:

just before dosing.

That doesn't prove the medication is making her worse, but it does make the pattern worth paying attention to.

---

Her medication history adds context

Looking at her timeline, she appears extraordinarily medication-sensitive.

Examples include:

• paradoxical lorazepam

• gabapentin becoming paradoxical

• hydroxyzine paradoxical

• quetiapine becoming increasingly activating

• 22.5 mg mirtazapine causing marked overstimulation within two days

• tiny dose adjustments (14.79 → 14.70 mg) associated with significant symptom changes

That doesn't necessarily mean every reported reaction was caused by the medication—withdrawal itself can make people hyper-reactive—but it does suggest that her nervous system has behaved in an unusually sensitive manner across multiple drug classes.

---

One limitation

One thing I'd still like to see is a more systematic log.

For example:

Time	Symptoms (0–10)
7 AM
Noon
5 PM
8 PM (pre-dose)
9:45 PM
Midnight

After several weeks, that would make it much easier to distinguish:

• circadian improvement,

• medication-related worsening,

• random fluctuations.

Right now we're relying on narrative descriptions, which are useful but less precise.

---

Overall impression

I think today's post strengthens the observation that Finni experiences a reproducible daily rhythm in which she often feels relatively best in the evening before taking mirtazapine, followed by worsening after the nightly dose and again upon awakening.

That pattern is compatible with an acute medication effect, but it is not specific enough to establish causation. Other explanations—such as circadian variation in a sensitized nervous system, lingering withdrawal from prior medications, or a combination of these—remain plausible.

Given how consistently she reports this sequence, keeping a structured symptom diary over a few weeks would likely provide stronger evidence than isolated daily narratives and could help determine whether the relationship to dosing is genuine or simply coincides with her natural symptom cycle.

I think I’m going to start tracking those times every day just like the ChatGPT for you said

6/29/26

Vestibular symptoms and electricity finally calmer around 8 pm last night took freshly filed mirt 9:15 pm

Dozed soon after dose, then awoke with a start at 9:30 pm feeling increased rocking bouncing sensations and panic …thought I hadn’t taken dose, searched on nightstand then soon realized I had taken dose, and was just activated

Slept eventually and slept with some background pressurized feelings in background

8:20 am

Major pressure and fullness in head and body. Deep deep spongy feeling electricity. Ears ringing. Unease, icky dread, darkness.

I’m on a strange cycle that has been there for a long time, but just not this intense. Inner aka is part of it, ter*or, big vestibular sxs, then it moves to muscle tightness, diaphragm involvement, hard to breathe, head pressure. Then after my body goes through that 2 day cycle I sometimes have a dirty window for several hours in the evening where I feel like myself even with some electricity and vestibular stuff.

Edited June 29Jun 29 by Finni

It’s been 29 days since last disruption

I seem to be getting worse

The pounding and pressure surges are the most intense

On the verge of needing to bellow and wail like a couple of weeks ago

What’s happening to me?

Finni, have you ever tried omega 3 supplementation or magnesium? I wonder if it would be beneficial to you.

9 minutes ago, Lighty said:

Finni, have you ever tried omega 3 supplementation or magnesium? I wonder if it would be beneficial to you.

I have both

Afraid to try

Another thing

BP has been lower than usual for days

96/52

now 1:00 pm

Adding Himalayan salt to water

Edited June 29Jun 29 by Finni

9 minutes ago, Finni said:

I have both

Afraid to try

I mean even if you react badly, you just stop taking it, but it could help you out, you are already in a situation, just my take on it.

you can just try the omega 3 first.

how many mg omega 3 is it per pill (not fish oil weight, how much omega 3 amount)

Hey @Finni I think I remember reading that you attend a WD support group, is that right? Is it one of Angie Peacock's? Do you find it helpful?

18 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

Hey @Finni I think I remember reading that you attend a WD support group, is that right? Is it one of Angie Peacock's? Do you find it helpful?

Yes, that’s right

So severe now I haven’t been joining but yes

Wednesdays $25

8 minutes ago, Finni said:

Yes, that’s right

So severe now I haven’t been joining but yes

Wednesdays $25

Thank you 🙏

Much healing and love to you @Finni hang in there ❤️

Sending some love @Finni absolute Warrior xxxxxx

Thinking of you @Finni ,

You are so brave and stoic. I pray for some peace for you soon. xxx

So so troubling when I feel like I’m getting worse instead of better or at least just staying the same. Day 30 since late dose after other disruptions.

Deepest electricity and terror I’ve ever felt.

I’ve been taking lighter pills that just need a little tiny bit filed off to get to .1026 g and I’m doing that right before I take it. It just seems like I’m getting worse and worse.

I don’t know how to survive this type of deep deep activation that brings so much terror with it not because of anything I’m thinking just because the terror is a symptom.

1 hour ago, Finni said:

So so troubling when I feel like I’m getting worse instead of better or at least just staying the same. Day 30 since late dose after other disruptions.

Deepest electricity and terror I’ve ever felt.

I’ve been taking lighter pills that just need a little tiny bit filed off to get to .1026 g and I’m doing that right before I take it. It just seems like I’m getting worse and worse.

I don’t know how to survive this type of deep deep activation that brings so much terror with it not because of anything I’m thinking just because the terror is a symptom.

Thinking of you @Finni. Your suffering is so much more than anyone should have to endure. I think sometimes the only way to get through the day is by choosing to survive one second at a time. You are such a fighter and you will make it out 💜

13 hours ago, SarahMc said:

Thinking of you @Finni. Your suffering is so much more than anyone should have to endure. I think sometimes the only way to get through the day is by choosing to survive one second at a time. You are such a fighter and you will make it out 💜

100% @Finni one second at a time is enough for the minute if that is what it takes. Hope today is easier, those easier days will come. xxx

15 hours ago, Finni said:

So so troubling when I feel like I’m getting worse instead of better or at least just staying the same. Day 30 since late dose after other disruptions.

Deepest electricity and terror I’ve ever felt.

I’ve been taking lighter pills that just need a little tiny bit filed off to get to .1026 g and I’m doing that right before I take it. It just seems like I’m getting worse and worse.

I don’t know how to survive this type of deep deep activation that brings so much terror with it not because of anything I’m thinking just because the terror is a symptom.

There with you @Finni don't have words for this chemical hell, beyond all possible nightmare but things must change as the system clears.

Hang in there, you are strong to survive this even if you don't believe it now.

My love to you xxx