3 hours ago, Beehive said:

@wheretogonow Hello I've been where you are ok I'm still tapering but up to about February I was doing fine then got hit with a few things chest infection stress and dental work was ok then got hit...like you my mind was all over the place wanting to find a reason wanting to find a fix desperate to get back to where I was. Though all I was doing was causing myself to be more stressed and prolong the misery . When we hit a wave our thinking mind goes into overdrive what when where who its desperately seeking to find some external validation for how we feel . I'm going to say the word but you have to accept how you are for now ,do not look for a reason ,do not look for a fix .Concentrate on the here and now and focus on self care dig deep and try and sooth your body and mind try maybe to take back some control of your eating ,do things that are good for the body. Focus on the present, forget how you got here its not going to change anything except make you more stressed and from the way you are thinking your mind is very stressed try to gain some control back . You will get over this I promise you ,its not easy ,just don't make it any harder 😉❤️🙏

Thank you Beehive, I'm sorry about the infection are you better now? Also did dental work make you feel better or worse? Asking because I need to get cavities filled and I'm scared!

@wheretogonow Yes I'm much better thank you...I had a wave after the dental work but that could have just been my mind catastrophising..I believe if you are needing an injection you can make sure that it doesn't contain adrenanline which some might . It's hard to say whether it will affect you as for many it doesn't. I had a lot of other stress at the time so it could have been anyone of those things . It's best to have the cavities done in my personal opinion, I know its scary everything is scary in withdrawal. I really hope all goes well for you . You are in good company on this site and there's always someone walking next to you on this path ,you are never alone and you are always understood ❤️🙏

35 minutes ago, wheretogonow said:

will stay hopeful and keep doing good things.

You should do! 100% healing is coming for you. 😃

Just clinging to this comment I made, I mean I'm a pessimistic person so if I said such a hopeful thing I must have been feeling really good. If I felt this way before I can feel this way again. Just gotta bear with it.

11 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

Just clinging to this comment I made, I mean I'm a pessimistic person so if I said such a hopeful thing I must have been feeling really good. If I felt this way before I can feel this way again. Just gotta bear with it.

Definitely! You will get back there and I think this is great that you can use how you felt in a window to support you through this more difficult time. It is true you will get back to this and better! So hard to believe it when things are tough again, great tactic.

You've had good windows, many of them quite long-lasting.

You're getting there, slowly but surely.

need advice please, should I stop maladaptive daydreaming? While it is obviously bad for me it’s so much better than the anhedonic state I was last year this time. At least daydreaming gives me some joy and feels nice sometimes. Idk how to explain it it’s like binge eating sugar it feels good for a bit then you feel so bad after.

Wondering if possibly maladaptive daydreaming is worsening my anhedonia. It’s hard because last time I did literally nothing and healed so this time am I supposed to do something or what.

I’m worried it’s frying my dopamine receptors

In of itself maladaptive daydreaming is hell but compared to anhedonia blunting and numbness it is so much better which is why I thought ok let’s roll with it. But what if it’s not a symptom but worsening withdrawal since it’s clearly not healthy

Before meds I would daydream badly but like after an hour I could stop. Now it’s 24/7 cannot stop without drifting back into it

This is definitely chemically induced it’s such an insane symptom I just want to know of I should wait for it to go or should I actively stop it

My problem with stopping it is the only joy I am getting and ive been unsuccessful in stopping so far too

3 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

need advice please, should I stop maladaptive daydreaming? While it is obviously bad for me it’s so much better than the anhedonic state I was last year this time. At least daydreaming gives me some joy and feels nice sometimes. Idk how to explain it it’s like binge eating sugar it feels good for a bit then you feel so bad after.

Wondering if possibly maladaptive daydreaming is worsening my anhedonia. It’s hard because last time I did literally nothing and healed so this time am I supposed to do something or what.

I’m worried it’s frying my dopamine receptors

In of itself maladaptive daydreaming is hell but compared to anhedonia blunting and numbness it is so much better which is why I thought ok let’s roll with it. But what if it’s not a symptom but worsening withdrawal since it’s clearly not healthy

Before meds I would daydream badly but like after an hour I could stop. Now it’s 24/7 cannot stop without drifting back into it

This is definitely chemically induced it’s such an insane symptom I just want to know of I should wait for it to go or should I actively stop it

My problem with stopping it is the only joy I am getting and ive been unsuccessful in stopping so far too

I would say you can't do much about it. It's just a symptom and part of your wave.

With looping thoughts (similar I guess to daydreaming), I would just break the cycle of thoughts and move onto something else, obviously I would then go back to looping again. The cycle would just repeat. I think accepting it is WD and not fighting too hard is best. If you try to pull your thoughts away, do it with compassion for yourself and don't get frustrated when you inevitably go back to day dreaming again. I think it will pass in time and it is in no way hurting you. xxx

Whether you daydream more or less is not going to hinder recovery.

You just need more time. If you spend a lot of that time daydreaming- that's fine.

Thank you Chippy and Luke as always.

This has to be withdrawal because I never remember this 24/7 daydreaming unable to live my life feeling before I ever took drugs.

I get the fear sometimes that this is just my default state without drugs. But one thing I remember is while I felt depressed before I ever took drugs I'm pretty sure that was because I was involved in OCD rituals that was messing with me. I never remember going to a doctor or my parents and telling them I'm depressed or that I can't physically stop daydreaming. So that must mean this is not my default state.

I think just like my OCD which I've had naturally became intensified during withdrawal, this is just my ADHD being intensified since maladaptive daydreaming is moreso associated with ADHD. In the past my brain would take turns. One symptom would turn off, then another would turn on, then visa versa. Could be healing is happening underneath since this used to happen before my windows.

My OCD is under control now because I did a lot of CBT luckily I'm very fortunate I got a highly skilled therapist. It's kind of sad because all I ever needed for my OCD was therapy and I mean I proved it right now because my OCD has been in remission for like 9 months now. Why was I on proxac posion for 6 years if it took like 2 months of therapy to fix my OCD? I never even needed meds, this whole thing, everything that happened, could have been a avoided lol :P

I'm going to find a therapist for ADHD now and hopefully that will help the maladaptive daydreaming a bit. It's a crappie symptom but I much prefer it to others.

Edited June 4Jun 4 by wheretogonow

Thank you so much Luke and Chippy for this forum its such a crutch for us suffering I hope coming here alleviates your suffering too

It's hard to explain what the daydreaming is. Like you know how ocd or anhedonia or anxiety is just bad bad bad. But daydreaming feels good, its just that after a scenario is finished then you feel bad. But atleast there is some good. It's not pure suffering the way anhedonia or insomnia or anxiety are. SSo in a way grateful for that

It's hard for me to explain. This is definitely drug induced because it does not feel normal and most people are able to stop after a few hours unlike me.

It's a bit scary no one else has this symptom but I know on survivingantidepressants a girl had a song 24/7 playing in her head so this is kind of like that.

Edited June 4Jun 4 by wheretogonow

3 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

It's a bit scary no one else has this symptom but I know on survivingantidepressants a girl had a song 24/7 playing in her head so this is kind of like that.

Ive had the song playing in my head thing alot. I had it this last few days actually. The brain is crazy complex. These drugs cause all sorts of problems. Never doubt what you are dealing with is anything other WD, and don't doubt that it will pass because it will!

On 5/19/2026 at 11:57 AM, wheretogonow said:

You are so right Chippy in the past my wave got much worse (I remember sleep dropped from 4 hours to 2 hours) before I got my glorious window. Also I had a 2 month long consecutive wave before I got a long healing window. So this really good be just some healing being done. And I would rather suffer 7-8 months in a wave then heal fully, rather than be stuck in a alternating window wave pattern for years. So maybe I just have to be patient. I remember how I felt 80-90% healed in the 3 months but not 100%, this is just the the rest of the 10-20% coming back.

I will stay hopeful and keep doing good things. Thank you chippy

you are so strong chippy how you manage so well while still having painful symptoms

13 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

you are so strong chippy how you manage so well while still having painful symptoms

Bless you @wheretogonow just plodding along each day, all we can do! Hope things settle down soon for you, they will eventually!

Remember that at 15months there is a lot of scope to keep improving in the future. You're in a much better position than you were a year ago.

You'll likely continue to improve in time, the long windows are a very good sign of this.

thank you both coming here is such a lifeline i would be so lost without this place and luke and chippy' words

Ok today I woke up and didn't immediately start fantasizing. I still felt anhedonic but my brain didn't immediately go to a daydream. I was like ok let's see how I can pull this up further. So I decided to do a quick dopamine and food fast. Did not touch social media or music, did a straight work session from 10:00am to 5:00pm. This was crazy because past months I have been unable to work properly, my brain so fried and overstimulated. I had ADHD before meds but NEVER this bad. I also did not get the munchies, which means something in my brain was workng. I was able to put off maladaptive daydreaming a bit. Anytime my brain tried to go into a daydream I shook it off (which didn't happen before, so clearly something inside was working).

Then 5:00pm hit and I got very hungry, and I thought last night I had a small binge (and I still felt better in the morning, but that was alo because I did a dopamine fast from daydreaming and music). I told myself okay let's stick to carnivore and cook ground beef. Still going well, I feel anhedonic 40%, but I am not daydreaming so this is a win. I also did not stim. For the past 6 months I've been constantly stimming.

So I hate the carnivore meal and felt the same. Then energy started to dip, could tell my brain was craving a carb. I thought, okay let's eat like half a potato fry, that's like 2g carb at most right? I ate it and a lot of brain fog came back. Felt like my body had 0 carb tolerance.

Besides the brain fog I was still doing fine, still pushing away daydreams, my brain felt different then it has the past 6 months, feel like something has been turned on.

The brainfog from the fry is bothering me though, I thought okay, let me just try a little daydreaming. I made a mistake I went straight to a high dopamine scenario. Boom like a balloon popping the state I was in in the morning collapsed and I was back to how I was.

So my conclusion is:

1. something inside me has to be kind of working for me to get the daydreaming to stop
2. I don't think my current condition is caused by carbs, because the night before this dirty window I binge ate a lot of carbs, but carbs for sure collapsed my current window.
3. dopamine fasting is good, long uninterrupted work session.

What I am going to try

1. no music (I was not enjoying it anyway it was purely a way to daydream)
2. dopamine fasting (nofap, limiting screentime)
3. very important, probably the most important thing here, I need to stay away from certain scenarios in my daydreaming, ones that give me too much dopamine. the one scenario as soon as i entered it completely collapsed my dirty window.
4. carnivore diet (important but less so than no daydreaming which based on today is crucial)

Around this time last year my ocd was going absolutely insane, I kept on fearing it was my original condition but it ended up being 80% withdrawal noise and only 20% my original ocd (which I combated with therapy). This time it's my adhd go absolutely haywire (contant stimming, unable to sit still, pacing around the house, binging on everything, sensory issues, maladaptive daydreaming). I have to remind myself based on my own previous experience that this is once again 80% withdrawal making things much much much worse. This is NOT how I am without meds. Do not long for that poison. This isn't me I will survive.

I am doing nofap and dopamine fasting. I am trying carnivore diet but I don't think it's a cause of withdrawal condition but moreso a prolonger in day to day symptoms rather then (not doing carnivore) contributing to the underlying problem that's happening in me, which I will address by vagus nerve exercises. Still carnivore was shown to help today.

So summary:

- nofap
- dopamine fasting (no music and no pacing, two things that extremely stimulate me and I feel worse by)
- carnivore diet
- and the most important not maladaptive daydreaming, particularly the high intensity ones

The fact that I woke up today and felt something shift inside me is a hopeful and familiar sign...this is the feeling that preceeded my window last time. Please please please please please may this be leading to bigger healing 🥲

@wheretogonow I think it is fine for you to try a few things and see if they help. If they do keep it up of course. But honestly, we are all looking for the cure or someway to help ourselves when really, for the most part IMO, healing happens regardless of what we try, and is happening whilst we wear ourselves out looking for the fix. I reckon keeping the nervous system calm and not stressing it looking for cures is best xxxx

I totally get that there's no magic fix, I think the underlying whatever is happening to me is unaffected by diet. Because in the past my biggest windows came after eating a lot of sugar. However currently my big symptom is adhd at 1000x. However past couple days it's lifted which is huge. I think it lifted a bit on it's own, so a dirty window, and I extended it by doing carnivore diet. So carnivore is helping calm the symptoms. My OCD is acting up though. However in the past I had this "turning on, turning off" of symptoms that always preceeded a healing. So hopefully this adhd quieting and ocd sparking up means healing is being done. I'm pretty sure for 0.5 seconds I felt a spark of joy. I also felt like calling someone, all signs something in me is lifting. Please please please please may this mean a window is approaching soon!

Sorry some TMI stuff in this post

I think nofap is helping a lot too. I'm doing dopamine fasting where I avoid stimming (social media, walking, daydreaming) and I feel better in terms of the withdrawal magnified adhd symptoms

I have to try really hard to not daydream but not engaging in any is working. I'd say carnivorish diet + avoiding daydreaming are the two most things helping right now. It's hard to do but I'm not really feeling negative side effects, only positive so will keep at it.

Edited June 13Jun 13 by wheretogonow

3 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

However in the past I had this "turning on, turning off" of symptoms that always preceeded a healing.

I think a ramp of symptoms often comes before a clear window of improvement.

3 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

Sorry some TMI stuff in this post

I think nofap is helping a lot too. I'm doing dopamine fasting where I avoid stimming (social media, walking, daydreaming) and I feel better in terms of the withdrawal magnified adhd symptoms

lol, if you think it all helps by all means! As I said for the most part I think it will heal regardless, and my take is trying to give your brain as much normal function may help it to stablise, but as I said if it helps your symptoms then by all means!

3 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

I have to try really hard to not daydream but not engaging in any is working. I'd say carnivorish diet + avoiding daydreaming are the two most things helping right now. It's hard to do but I'm not really feeling negative side effects, only positive so will keep at it.

If you feel you can avoid it and it's working great. :)