Just share this @MischaDE

This reflection from Jamie Carrington about, you know

"The ugly beast that tempted us in the form of medication" (sneaky infiltration)

"I believe weve gotten so tired of waiting for the things that God has in store for us that were willing to settle for what the devil is trying to sell us. And whats so scary about that is that the devil is always offering something that has a catch or a cost. Its never free of of chargé. Its never on the house its never even bénéficial to us. In fact whenever god is offering something to us it is a free gift from him because we dont deserve it right? But the devil is giving you what you absolutely deserve, he's giving you poison. And because you have gotten so impatient with God youre willing to take any opportunity that comes from the devil, youre not willing to wait on god for the things he has in store for you [...] whatever it is. so you can be so hungry that youre willing to just eat anything because not every single food out there is good for you. I get impatient with where i feel like i should be in life where i should be when it comes to having a partner. I get impatient when it comes to family matters and thats normal and thats kind of the problem. We have to stop making that a normal thing. We have to have patience we have to wait on God because if we can do that then that means we give the devil less opportunities to sell us something. Because with god its always gonna be on the house because its a free gift and its good. "

How are u, @MischaDE ?

Hi @poulette38 , thank you for asking! I am still struggling with the same symptoms but at least I am not in total pain all the time like in June or July where I could not sit still at all and had to move. It still flares up from time to time but its more manageable. What upsets me as you all know is the persistent PSSD....well and the fact that I cannot exert myself really, just go for walks.

How about you?

Дорогой @MischaDE, I feel you very well. I have been in this inner akathisia and I have it some days, it is a real Hell. Hopefully you are better now. В какой ужась мьi живем. А думали что возможно написать нашая success story после год в аде? Не случилось...

Светла

1 hour ago, skamen said:

Дорогой @MischaDE, I feel you very well. I have been in this inner akathisia and I have it some days, it is a real Hell. Hopefully you are better now. В какой ужась мьi живем. А думали что возможно написать нашая success story после год в аде? Не случилось...

Светла

Absolutely! Sometimes I just think "well I am crippled for life now, better make peace with that and at least hope for some improvement." I am not good at optimism. Have you decided against flying?

I won't flight, @MischaDE, it is impossible in the state I am. I cannot sleep because of the awful adrenaline terror, my anhedonia and depression are horrendous, I have terrible nausea, plexus solaire pains and muscle arches. I cannot imagine support the stress related to the trip . My husband cancelled our both reservations, he cannot leave my alone in Montreal and travel with the family of our daughter to Sofia. I feel so guilty for him and for my daughter's family, but the challenge of the travel makes my mind crazy. It is not myself, it is not my one brain, it is my broken CNS which speaks... But we have to hope, Миша. I pray for at least a small relief which never comes. I pray also for you.

Светла

It is the right decision I think. All of these things you are describing I had on this mirtazapine **** drug!!! While I am hurt pretty badly, I am not in this horrific state anymore, so for you it should subside as well.

Don't feel guilty for anything please, if anything the people who love and surround you should show understanding. It is some of the most brutal suffering people can imagine, its like being in hell already or getting a taste of it.

We just need to emotionally support each other, there is not much more we can do. But at least we understand each other. You are in my prayers also!!

Sending some love Big Misch xxxx

15 hours ago, MischaDE said:

Hi @poulette38 , thank you for asking! I am still struggling with the same symptoms but at least I am not in total pain all the time like in June or July where I could not sit still at all and had to move. It still flares up from time to time but its more manageable. What upsets me as you all know is the persistent PSSD....well and the fact that I cannot exert myself really, just go for walks.

How about you?

Hi @MischaDE , I’m glad to hear from you and to see that things are improving slightly. PSSD won’t last, I’m convinced of that. No one can predict how things will evolve with certainty, but rationally, I can’t imagine that the brain would be stupid enough to remain in a state that doesn’t serve it well. The human body is inevitably more powerful than these damn medications. It just sometimes takes more time, as you know. You’re going to get there. Keep taking care of yourself as much as you possibly can.

It’s good if you’re able to go for regular walks; that’s what I’m trying to do too! Unfortunately, the last time I felt strong enough to go out, it suddenly started raining heavily for hours, with strong winds. I was right in the middle of a park. There had been absolutely no sign of a storm, so I ended up coming home soaking wet! I was in a very large park, so I had to walk all the way across it to get out. I thought to myself, “And now this. I don’t think things could possibly get any worse!” Haha. It’s difficult when you have such severe DR/DP because you don’t enjoy anything. It’s clear that I’m completely unable to exercise, even jogging, just like you. Paradoxically, my body feels very light, in a way that feels really chemical/abnormal. I barely get out of breath at all, and that’s definitely not normal! But I’ve noticed some improvements recently, including my sweating becoming a little more “normal” again, instead of being completely nonexistent.

You’re going to make it through hell; there is light on the other side. 💪💪

See you soon!

@MischaDE

Oh, I recommend this channel to you: LifeAfterMeds on YouTube. She talks about pretty much every symptom you can experience. I find her videos reassuring and calming; I hope they can help you feel a little more optimistic, or at least make the time pass a bit more pleasantly!

8 minutes ago, poulette38 said:

Paradoxically, my body feels very light, in a way that feels really chemical/abnormal.

I had this a lot!! My muscles felt Lightweighted and it felt Like my body just couldn’t feel tired (very drugged feeling). That completely gone for me now! Also my sweating is completely normal now. I think that took about 8-9 months to normalize!

4 minutes ago, Sophia said:

I had this a lot!! My muscles felt Lightweighted and it felt Like my body just couldn’t feel tired (very drugged feeling). That completely gone for me now! Also my sweating is completely normal now. I think that took about 8-9 months to normalize!

Ah, thank you, @Sophia ... I hope it will pass too! We’re just waiting to be able to reclaim our bodies and our brains. It’s just inconceivable...

10 hours ago, poulette38 said:

@MischaDE

Oh, I recommend this channel to you: LifeAfterMeds on YouTube. She talks about pretty much every symptom you can experience. I find her videos reassuring and calming; I hope they can help you feel a little more optimistic, or at least make the time pass a bit more pleasantly!

Thank you for your messages. I am aware of her channel and she seems like such a sweet woman, she radiates such positive energy. I am just afraid that what I am dealing with is not withdrawal but literal nerve damage (even though a fully body MRI didnt show damage on me) or bad inflammation at least, my genitals are deformed and uncomfortable 24/7 basically. I dont understand what even happened there or what the problem is because doctors cant seem to find it out anyway. I dont want to live as a chemically castrated male. How can the body heal such unnatural damage caused by unnatural drugs?

Other than that thank you to everyone for your messages!

10 hours ago, poulette38 said:

Hi @MischaDE , I’m glad to hear from you and to see that things are improving slightly. PSSD won’t last, I’m convinced of that. No one can predict how things will evolve with certainty, but rationally, I can’t imagine that the brain would be stupid enough to remain in a state that doesn’t serve it well. The human body is inevitably more powerful than these damn medications. It just sometimes takes more time, as you know. You’re going to get there. Keep taking care of yourself as much as you possibly can.

It’s good if you’re able to go for regular walks; that’s what I’m trying to do too! Unfortunately, the last time I felt strong enough to go out, it suddenly started raining heavily for hours, with strong winds. I was right in the middle of a park. There had been absolutely no sign of a storm, so I ended up coming home soaking wet! I was in a very large park, so I had to walk all the way across it to get out. I thought to myself, “And now this. I don’t think things could possibly get any worse!” Haha. It’s difficult when you have such severe DR/DP because you don’t enjoy anything. It’s clear that I’m completely unable to exercise, even jogging, just like you. Paradoxically, my body feels very light, in a way that feels really chemical/abnormal. I barely get out of breath at all, and that’s definitely not normal! But I’ve noticed some improvements recently, including my sweating becoming a little more “normal” again, instead of being completely nonexistent.

You’re going to make it through hell; there is light on the other side. 💪💪

See you soon!

I wish I could say a little bit more and give a better response but its hard for me atm. I certainly emphasize with what you said about DR/DP because walks are literally just there for me to calm my nerves down or else I believe I will go crazy...