I've just had a quick read of your thread @Beehive , and wanted to say hello. I wish you a quick recovery from this current wave. Your posts are inspiring-you manage to post positive messages even though you are in the midst of this horror. So many of the things you say echo my own journey. I wish I had some magic tips to share, but 'going with it' and holding on to the knowledge that this isn't permanent seems to be the only solid truth. The way your mood shifted in a instant earlier in the week seems inexplicable, but I've had the same thing myself. It truly feels like something has shifted in the brain. Who knows what's going on with our neural networks?!

Earlier you asked whether not distracting yourself and getting on with things is holding back your recovery. I've wondered the same thing, but sometimes you just can't -like the starter motor in a car has been disconnected, at least that's how I've felt. You can push yourself to some degree, but somethings are impossible. I find that the guilt of not getting on with things is in itself punishing. I really should be out there making the most of life...

Anyway, I don't know if it's helpful to share these things, this is your thread, and I truly hope the sun comes out again for you soon.

@RedRobin I appreciate your words its comforting to feel you are not alone in this ...when I'm.in this phase I'm.like a lost small child and all my Insecurities come out to the forefront...yesterday for me was a good day quite uplifting I seem to be in the pattern of good day bad day ...hope things start to improve for you ❤️🙏 Im wondering is the crying part of it or is that just me 🤔

Edited May 22May 22 by Beehive

1 hour ago, Beehive said:

@RedRobin hope you are doing ok ? 🙏

Thanks for asking. Not really. 2 1/2 in to this and struggling a bit. I don't spend a lot of time here (busy trying to distract myself!), but have been reading through some threads. Sometimes helpful sometimes not. Reading an old post from someone who had just taken their last dose brought tears to my eyes. One day...

Hand on in there.

43 minutes ago, Beehive said:

@RedRobin I appreciate your words its comforting to feel you are not alone in this ...when I'm.in this phase I'm.like a lost small child and all my Insecurities come out to the forefront...yesterday for me was a good day quite uplifting I seem to be in the pattern of good day bad day ...hope things start to improve for you ❤️🙏 Im wondering is the crying part of it or is that just me 🤔

Definitely not just you!

I came across a song a few weeks ago, it was doing the rounds on social media and now can't get it our of my head. I don't know the full lyrics but two lines stand out " I know it may hurt, but it won't last forever". Hang on to that.x

@RedRobin what sort of things do you do yo distract yourself if you don't mind me asking

I can function fairly normally as far as the outside world is concerned-as long as something is planned and I have to do it. I do some volunteering, and go to the gym, socialise a bit. If it's in the diary I usually do it (well, not always the gym...). It's the unplanned time when it all goes wrong, and just hanging out the washing, or a simple online admin task can take all day. Perhaps this is just an extreme, pathogical version of being retired, but it's more than that. There is an odd lack of motivation which is almost paralysis. I do know I don't feel any better for doing nothing, but it's the getting started that is so hard. That's probably why the diary thing is good, I don't like letting people down. (I realise I am very fortunate to be able to function like this).

I hope the pattern of good day -bad day is not holding and that you have another good day today. The sun is shining which perhaps helps a bit.

When I'm like this I feel non functional, so.pleased you can do all those things that's great ...I was quite functional up until March time then it seemed yo go wrong @RedRobin

Edited May 22May 22 by Beehive

Not only am.i having good days and bad days alternating but good nights and bad nights alternating as in sleeping through one night and not sleeping at all the next ...has anyone else had this pattern

1 hour ago, Beehive said:

Not only am.i having good days and bad days alternating but good nights and bad nights alternating as in sleeping through one night and not sleeping at all the next ...has anyone else had this pattern

I can relate @Beehive

@Catbird Thanks for popping by ....it certainly messes with your head it feels so uniformed ,how is your sleep pattern now

3 hours ago, Beehive said:

Not only am.i having good days and bad days alternating but good nights and bad nights alternating as in sleeping through one night and not sleeping at all the next ...has anyone else had this pattern

It is very common to see this ever other day pattern, I have certainly experienced it. At one point about 6 months in, I would sleep badly one night and be exhausted all day, then the next I would sleep well enough to not feel sleep depreived but be super anxious all day, this kept going for a few weeks.

Hope you feel better as the day goes on. xxx

@Chippy Thank you it can be so demoralising ❤️hope you are improving

15 minutes ago, Beehive said:

@Chippy Thank you it can be so demoralising ❤️hope you are improving

I know it can be, relentless!

Im doing ok, not as good as last week, but much better than this Saturday gone, just plodding away, hope the heat isn't too bad for you down there! Some parts are in the 30s, 26c here and that is considered a heat wave in NE terms!

4 hours ago, Beehive said:

Not only am.i having good days and bad days alternating but good nights and bad nights alternating as in sleeping through one night and not sleeping at all the next ...has anyone else had this pattern

Yes, I had those @Beehive now there is not a night that I don't sleep but the sleep is always very disturbed with many awakenings which really doesn't help the day.. I know this is so common for many of us, another wd nasty gift..

Hope it gets better for you, it's a tough one.

Hugs xxx

Edited May 25May 25 by Fullhealing

3 hours ago, Chippy said:

I know it can be, relentless!

Im doing ok, not as good as last week, but much better than this Saturday gone, just plodding away, hope the heat isn't too bad for you down there! Some parts are in the 30s, 26c here and that is considered a heat wave in NE terms!

Says 28 °c here feels hotter and my head doesn't like it !!!

3 minutes ago, Beehive said:

Says 28 °c here feels hotter and my head doesn't like it !!!

No heat in wd is awful! Definitely an advantage to living up here.

20 minutes ago, Beehive said:

Says 28 °c here feels hotter and my head doesn't like it !!!

If only the heat could melt away just the symptoms... Not nice, here too it's somewhere around 33°c... What about the beach? It's close to you if I remember correctly, do you have the strength to gather yourself there? Such a shame I'm not near you, I would pick you up, blessed change (;

Edited May 25May 25 by Fullhealing

I disliked heat and didn't function well during summer even before, but now I am really scared how I'll survive both summer and WD.

It's 27°C here and it will only get hotter in the next few days (and AC is disconnected).

I wish we could all move somewhere where it's a bit cooler - a witdrawal community getaway! 🙈

Good luck to us all!

6 hours ago, Beehive said:

@Catbird Thanks for popping by ....it certainly messes with your head it feels so uniformed ,how is your sleep pattern now

@Beehive mostly my sleep is 6.5 to 7 hours but I’m on 4 sedating drugs in addition to ADs. Sometimes I only sleep for 3 hours and feel wrecked for days afterwards. With dose changes and later onset of WD symptoms I’ll get a bit activated. This is when I don’t sleep well. Lack of sleep is the pits, it fucks with everything

Sending some love your way @Beehive i hope you're a bit better atm 💗

@Fullhealing Thank you ❤️ this heat is relentless and is not easing up hard to find a cool place in the house...no air con here sadly ...its not allowed me to rest and will find it difficult to sleep in ...hope you are making progress ❤️🙏

18 minutes ago, Beehive said:

@Fullhealing Thank you ❤️ this heat is relentless and is not easing up hard to find a cool place in the house...no air con here sadly ...its not allowed me to rest and will find it difficult to sleep in ...hope you are making progress ❤️🙏

Oh wow it's tough without air con, maybe a fan if there is one could help a little? Cold shower could work too even for a bit.

Hope the evening hours bring some relief xxx

Edited May 25May 25 by Fullhealing

@Fullhealing Thank you for the suggestions not supposed to ease until at least 9pm ...

Hope you slept ok even in the heat @Beehive much cooler here today 19c Max 17c now, nice relief.

@Beehive , I used ice packs on my head , back of neck , wrists during our heatwave summer. Fans too, no air con!

I feel for you, it was just awful. Hope you get some sleep tonight.