ALonelySoul12: 5mg Escitalopram/Lexapro withdrawal. My diary.

August 26Aug 26

19 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
I don't know, I feel like I won't get there. All this dysautonomia, palpitations, high blood pressure attacks, not being able to exercise or go for walks so I'm extremely out of shape and sedentary now too... Doubt there will be a happy ending

This kind of doubt is very common among people deep in withdrawal. But you can and will get through it.

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

I offer advice based on my experience. Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice.

2

August 27Aug 27

Author

Well, been tossing and turning all night. 5 am. Second night with no sleep at all. Body doesn't want to sleep, just vibrating non stop for two days now, nerves burning... And if I get close to sleep I get jolted awake. I really love being in acute withdrawal again and again and again and again month after month after month after month. Why does the internet have to gatekeep suicide methods?? Stupid ass capitalistic society where we need to be work slaves.

2012 5-10mg escitalopram with very occasional benzo
2022 - Bad reaction to ansium, escitalopram increased to 15mg temporarily until stable, and started the tapering process
June 2024 - Tapered off escitalopram and drug free
19/02/2025 - 28/02/2025 - Triple therapy antibiotics for h pylori. Omeprazole, amoxicillin, clarithromicyn
17/04/2025 - Reinstate escitalopram 5mg
??/04/2025 - Trial of different PPIs for stomach issues (omeprazole, pantoprazole, lansoprazole and rabeprazole). I stick to rabeprazole.
??/05/2025 - Trial of Mirtazapine 3,75 - 1mg for appetite and sleep, just take it for 3 non consecutive days and stop because it's too sedating.
??/06/2025 - Trial of different stomach medications like cinitapiride, iberogast, alflorex. Get bad reactions so I stop them after a couple days.
22/07/2025 - Taper escitalopram to 2,5mg for a week, last dose on the 22nd of July.
Current medications: Rabeprazole 10mg on alternating days.

August 27Aug 27

Author

And getting jolted with expñodi g head syndrome again and again and again and again... Still no sleep ñ. Please emergency benzos save me. 13 months and still in acute with 0.healing

Edited August 27Aug 27 by ALonelySoul12

2012 5-10mg escitalopram with very occasional benzo
2022 - Bad reaction to ansium, escitalopram increased to 15mg temporarily until stable, and started the tapering process
June 2024 - Tapered off escitalopram and drug free
19/02/2025 - 28/02/2025 - Triple therapy antibiotics for h pylori. Omeprazole, amoxicillin, clarithromicyn
17/04/2025 - Reinstate escitalopram 5mg
??/04/2025 - Trial of different PPIs for stomach issues (omeprazole, pantoprazole, lansoprazole and rabeprazole). I stick to rabeprazole.
??/05/2025 - Trial of Mirtazapine 3,75 - 1mg for appetite and sleep, just take it for 3 non consecutive days and stop because it's too sedating.
??/06/2025 - Trial of different stomach medications like cinitapiride, iberogast, alflorex. Get bad reactions so I stop them after a couple days.
22/07/2025 - Taper escitalopram to 2,5mg for a week, last dose on the 22nd of July.
Current medications: Rabeprazole 10mg on alternating days.

August 27Aug 27

14 hours ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Doubt there will be a happy ending

Thats the fear talking not reality, it is very common whilst in the throws of suffering to not be able to see the light. The human mind is preconditioned to believing that whatever has happend recently or is happening now is how it will always be. It is one of our many blind spots. It is why humans are often terrible investors, buy the market when it's high for fomo, then selling when it's low, wanting to escape the sinking ship. Sensible investors do the opposite.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

2

August 27Aug 27

4 hours ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Well, been tossing and turning all night. 5 am. Second night with no sleep at all. Body doesn't want to sleep, just vibrating non stop for two days now, nerves burning... And if I get close to sleep I get jolted awake.

Im sorry to read, when the body doesn't want to sleep it can be very suborn, it won't be this way forever my friend.

4 hours ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Why does the internet have to gatekeep suicide methods?? Stupid ass capitalistic society where we need to be work slaves.

No permanentsolutions to temporary problems @ALonelySoul12

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

August 27Aug 27

Author

Can I take a benzo for sleep tonight? I'm getting bad POTS, intrusive yhogughs, vibrations, spasms and twitches, exploding head syndrome, sweating... It's really really bad, the last 2 days I only managed 2 hours one day, 30 minutes today. The rest I've been tossing and turning and with symptoms 24/7,. Soft music didn't work, audiobook didn't work distractions or mental ecercises didn't work... I just toss and turn, and get jolted of i ever come close. After sleeping 30 minutes, I wake up with terrible anxiety and palpitations.

I have klonopin drops, can I try a drop or two to see if I can reset my sleep?

2012 5-10mg escitalopram with very occasional benzo
2022 - Bad reaction to ansium, escitalopram increased to 15mg temporarily until stable, and started the tapering process
June 2024 - Tapered off escitalopram and drug free
19/02/2025 - 28/02/2025 - Triple therapy antibiotics for h pylori. Omeprazole, amoxicillin, clarithromicyn
17/04/2025 - Reinstate escitalopram 5mg
??/04/2025 - Trial of different PPIs for stomach issues (omeprazole, pantoprazole, lansoprazole and rabeprazole). I stick to rabeprazole.
??/05/2025 - Trial of Mirtazapine 3,75 - 1mg for appetite and sleep, just take it for 3 non consecutive days and stop because it's too sedating.
??/06/2025 - Trial of different stomach medications like cinitapiride, iberogast, alflorex. Get bad reactions so I stop them after a couple days.
22/07/2025 - Taper escitalopram to 2,5mg for a week, last dose on the 22nd of July.
Current medications: Rabeprazole 10mg on alternating days.

August 27Aug 27

6 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Can I take a benzo for sleep tonight? I'm getting bad POTS, intrusive yhogughs, vibrations, spasms and twitches, exploding head syndrome, sweating... It's really really bad, the last 2 days I only managed 2 hours one day, 30 minutes today. The rest I've been tossing and turning and with symptoms 24/7,. Soft music didn't work, audiobook didn't work distractions or mental ecercises didn't work... I just toss and turn, and get jolted of i ever come close. After sleeping 30 minutes, I wake up with terrible anxiety and palpitations.
I have klonopin drops, can I try a drop or two to see if I can reset my sleep?

You know we're going to advise against it. You've heard it all before. Maybe this isn't why youve moved on from the acute phase because you dabble in other things?

Hope it eases for you soon I know its horrible. I wouldn't take the Benzo but ultimately its your body.

2016 - Sertraline 50mg

2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

June 2024 - went down to 75mg

2025 - Down to 50mg

2026 - down to 25mg

April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

1

August 27Aug 27

6 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Can I take a benzo for sleep tonight? I'm getting bad POTS, intrusive yhogughs, vibrations, spasms and twitches, exploding head syndrome, sweating... It's really really bad, the last 2 days I only managed 2 hours one day, 30 minutes today. The rest I've been tossing and turning and with symptoms 24/7,. Soft music didn't work, audiobook didn't work distractions or mental ecercises didn't work... I just toss and turn, and get jolted of i ever come close. After sleeping 30 minutes, I wake up with terrible anxiety and palpitations.
I have klonopin drops, can I try a drop or two to see if I can reset my sleep?

As you know we are not doctors on this site. Our general observations are that adding in more drugs when the nervous system is so unhappy can make things worse. Fuel on the fire. It’s possible they won’t work as intended too. The choice is yours are advice if to keep it clean.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

August 27Aug 27

Author

14 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:
You know we're going to advise against it. You've heard it all before. Maybe this isn't why youve moved on from the acute phase because you dabble in other things?
Hope it eases for you soon I know its horrible. I wouldn't take the Benzo but ultimately its your body.

But i havent dabbled in another drug like this 😔 my last pill was a 2,5mg Lexapro on the 23rd of July 2025. I was having good sleep despite the physical illness managing 5 to 9 hours. Even when I had insomnia back in May, I could sleep in small bouts of 30 minutes to an hour or two multiple times, still getting 2-4 hours total. Now I've been wide awake, hearing random thoughts with voice when falling asleep, sweating, vibrating without stop, tossing and turning without finding the right pose. I only slept like 30 minutes tops and don't even feel physically sleepy.

Sleep is my weak point, I'm scared I'm gonna start hallucinating if I go so long without sleep and get sent to a mental institution. I try to clear my mind, but it simply doesn't fall asleep, I get jolted the moment it gets close and start sweating with adrenaline.

Edited August 27Aug 27 by ALonelySoul12

2012 5-10mg escitalopram with very occasional benzo
2022 - Bad reaction to ansium, escitalopram increased to 15mg temporarily until stable, and started the tapering process
June 2024 - Tapered off escitalopram and drug free
19/02/2025 - 28/02/2025 - Triple therapy antibiotics for h pylori. Omeprazole, amoxicillin, clarithromicyn
17/04/2025 - Reinstate escitalopram 5mg
??/04/2025 - Trial of different PPIs for stomach issues (omeprazole, pantoprazole, lansoprazole and rabeprazole). I stick to rabeprazole.
??/05/2025 - Trial of Mirtazapine 3,75 - 1mg for appetite and sleep, just take it for 3 non consecutive days and stop because it's too sedating.
??/06/2025 - Trial of different stomach medications like cinitapiride, iberogast, alflorex. Get bad reactions so I stop them after a couple days.
22/07/2025 - Taper escitalopram to 2,5mg for a week, last dose on the 22nd of July.
Current medications: Rabeprazole 10mg on alternating days.

August 27Aug 27

3 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Sleep is my weak point, I'm scared I'm gonna start hallucinating if I go so long without sleep and get sent to a mental institution.

Try to trust your body to get enough. You can cope with very little sleep for longer than you realise. It won’t feel nice but you need to keep your resolve and don’t make it worse with fear. I know that is soooo hard but do everything you can do to keep as calm and accepting as possible. You’ll sleep when you sleep. I’m very sorry this is happening to you mate.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

3

August 27Aug 27

23 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
But i havent dabbled in another drug like this 😔 my last pill was a 2,5mg Lexapro on the 23rd of July 2025. I was having good sleep despite the physical illness managing 5 to 9 hours. Even when I had insomnia back in May, I could sleep in small bouts of 30 minutes to an hour or two multiple times, still getting 2-4 hours total. Now I've been wide awake, hearing random thoughts with voice when falling asleep, sweating, vibrating without stop, tossing and turning without finding the right pose. I only slept like 30 minutes tops and don't even feel physically sleepy.
Sleep is my weak point, I'm scared I'm gonna start hallucinating if I go so long without sleep and get sent to a mental institution. I try to clear my mind, but it simply doesn't fall asleep, I get jolted the moment it gets close and start sweating with adrenaline.

I know its scary but its surprising how little sleep we need to survive. My partner has awful flare ups of rheumatoid arthritis and has phases where he goes weeks or months with very, very little sleep due to pain. Hes still alive and sane. There's nights he has as little as 6 mins sleep, according to his watch. I know its dreadful but you won't be carted off to a ward for it x

2016 - Sertraline 50mg

2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

June 2024 - went down to 75mg

2025 - Down to 50mg

2026 - down to 25mg

April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

5

August 27Aug 27

@ALonelySoul12 Above (in may) you mentioned that these weird symthoms stared during your dinner? Did you paid any attention to this relation?

2009-2010: Sertraline (50 mg)

2011: Escitalopram (10 mg)

2009-2011: tried Olanzapine (5/2.5mg), Quetiapine (50/25mg) and Aripriprazole (low dosage)

CT Escitalopram, being free for several moths

2012-2016: Fluoxetine (60 mg)

2016-2017: Venlafaxine (75 mg)

2016: just tried Duloxetine and Maprotiline

2017-2018: Mirtazapine (30/45mg)

2012-2018: Bupropion (300 mg)

2014-2018: Lamotrigine (50/100/150 mg) CT Bupropion, tapering Lamitrogine and Mirtazapine (practically CT, fast tapering)

August 27Aug 27

No sleep is a killer but I'd agree not to add anything. In fact, it could be activating instead and make you worse.

You're not alone in this man.

Antidepressant History

2007ish to Jan 2017 - On and off weekly Prozac capsule, occasional Ambien

Jan 2017 to July 2018 - Drug free other than occasional Ambien

July 2018 to Jan 2019 - Mixture of Zyprexa, Zoloft, Ambien on and off

Feb 2019 to June 2019 - 10mg of Celexa

June 2019 to Feb/March 2020 - CT or on and off usage of Celexa

March 2020 - Sept 2020 - 10mg Celexa, 10mg Stratterra, Wellbutrin, Ambien

Sept 2020 - March 2022 - on and off use of 10mg Celexa and 10mg Prozac. Really can't remember

April/May 2022 - December 2024 - 10mg to 20mg Lexapro, 10mg Ambien

December 2024 - CT of 10mg Lexapro

February 2026 - Took lorazepam that may have caused extreme agitation

March 9th 2026 - 5mg of Lexapro out of desperation, CT after

April 1 to 4th 2026 - 2.5mg reinstatement of Lexapro. CT after

May 14th 2026 - 1mg Lexapro reinstatement, bad side effects, CT after

May 29th 2026 - "forced" to take Lamictal 25mg and Seroquel 25mg, CT after

3

August 27Aug 27

50 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
But i havent dabbled in another drug like this 😔 my last pill was a 2,5mg Lexapro on the 23rd of July 2025.

As @Chippy and @cherrysquid said, any new psychoactive med can have unwanted effects when your nervous system is already imbalanced and hypersensitive. A benzo may mask your symptoms for a while but its not a permanent fix and has its own side effects.

50 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Sleep is my weak point, I'm scared I'm gonna start hallucinating if I go so long without sleep and get sent to a mental institution.

There's a difference between having concerns about sleep and catastrophizing that concern into being sent to a mental institution. Your body will force you to sleep when it needs it. Lack of sleep is miserable, but its not the cause of your fears. That's coming from a high baseline of anxiety that's identified sleep problems as its latest crisis. Think of it as having a 100 kilo ball of anxiety. You want to put it somewhere. Right now its lack of sleep--you think if you can get some sleep your anxiety will decrease. But in reality the ball will just bounce to something else. The key is to take that ball from 100 kilos to 50, then 20, then 5, to a size you can manage without it making you panic. It takes work but you can do it!

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

I offer advice based on my experience. Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice.

3

August 28Aug 28

@ALonelySoul12 as the others have said, introducing benzos may provide short term symptom relief but typically it doesn't last and just creates more of a mess. This is if it helps at all and doesn't immediately worsen you, which is a significant risk.

I know you're suffering a lot. I was too at a year off. Eventually, it did begin to improve. Taking new drugs jeopardises this.

Where did the klonopin come from?

Nothing I say is medical advice, it is simply my opinion. I am an anonymous person on an internet forum with no relevant qualifications other than being badly harmed by a drug. For all you know, I could be an idiot. You are making your own decisions and part of that is deciding how much to listen to my opinion, if at all.

Perhaps you should consider this post an artistic work of fiction written for entertainment purposes.

Story from SA: LukeUK: Remeron/Mirtazapine Severe Withdrawal - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants

15mg Remeron/Mirtazapine November starting 2022 (severe physical side effects)

Attempted to taper off January 2023, ended up having a major breakdown and going up to 30mg, took weeks to stabilise

1 month taper to 0mg

Last dose April 2023

Severe withdrawal syndrome with many physical symptoms

Summary: 5 months using Mirtazapine, including 1 month taper ending late April 2023.

1

August 28Aug 28

Author

Update, went to sleep unusually early yesterday and took about 3 hours of relaxing music, but managed to get quite the restorative uninterrupted sleep. Haven't really counted the hours, but around 6 to 8.

Symptoms softened today and took the opportunity to take care of the plants, took some sun in my terrace, lazy showered, did simple laundry... Now I'm lying in bed as symptoms and paranoias returned from pushing myself, but it was nice to be able to function for a couple hours. I hope it's a sign of more and better to come. But I miss being able to do things without fear of symptoms, mood changes or being easily overwhelmed with emotions I can't process. I miss my mountain bike, friends and the nature around my town so much.

2012 5-10mg escitalopram with very occasional benzo
2022 - Bad reaction to ansium, escitalopram increased to 15mg temporarily until stable, and started the tapering process
June 2024 - Tapered off escitalopram and drug free
19/02/2025 - 28/02/2025 - Triple therapy antibiotics for h pylori. Omeprazole, amoxicillin, clarithromicyn
17/04/2025 - Reinstate escitalopram 5mg
??/04/2025 - Trial of different PPIs for stomach issues (omeprazole, pantoprazole, lansoprazole and rabeprazole). I stick to rabeprazole.
??/05/2025 - Trial of Mirtazapine 3,75 - 1mg for appetite and sleep, just take it for 3 non consecutive days and stop because it's too sedating.
??/06/2025 - Trial of different stomach medications like cinitapiride, iberogast, alflorex. Get bad reactions so I stop them after a couple days.
22/07/2025 - Taper escitalopram to 2,5mg for a week, last dose on the 22nd of July.
Current medications: Rabeprazole 10mg on alternating days.

5

August 28Aug 28

18 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Update, went to sleep unusually early yesterday and took about 3 hours of relaxing music, but managed to get quite the restorative uninterrupted sleep. Haven't really counted the hours, but around 6 to 8.
Symptoms softened today and took the opportunity to take care of the plants, took some sun in my terrace, lazy showered, did simple laundry... Now I'm lying in bed as symptoms and paranoias returned from pushing myself, but it was nice to be able to function for a couple hours. I hope it's a sign of more and better to come. But I miss being able to do things without fear of symptoms, mood changes or being easily overwhelmed with emotions I can't process. I miss my mountain bike, friends and the nature around my town so much.

you will make it out ❣️

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.
Feel free to mention me whenever help is needed.

Current Supplements: Night: 6mg melatonin and 133mg magnesium glycinate. Taking Omega 3 as needed to calm dyskinesia or over stimulation (Lately been reacting more negatively to supplement Omega 3).

Current Medications: Mirtazapine, Lasea (lavender oil) before bed.

------------------------------------------

Tapering: Mirtazapine 15mg, (went compounded) 13.5mg 08/May/2025, 12.1mg 10/July/2025, 15/July/2025 15mg (half tablet), 26/July/2025 14.35mg (moved to dry cutting method) ), 03/Aug/2025 14.6mg, 24/Nov/2025 14.47mg, 29/Jan/2026 14.35mg

Note: Had a lot of issue with degradation with different cutting times and compounded pharmacy which caused withdrawals and a more sensitive nervous system.

2

August 28Aug 28

You are making progress! Its natural to have some bounce back after you've challenged your boundaries, but the fact you were able to do some basic things is a great sign! Don't be afraid to give it another try after a little more restorative time.

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

I offer advice based on my experience. Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice.

2

August 28Aug 28

I'm glad you were able to get a good night's sleep and had a bit of a window this morning 😊. If nothing else, it shows that your body is capable of healing. We don't know when it'll happen, but you're going to get through this.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I am new to this journey and my thoughts are based only on my personal experience with psychiatric drugs. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

Current regimen:

Cymbalta - 90 mg/day

Seroquel - 12.5 mg/day

*holding to stabilize as of Apr 2026

History:

Seroquel - up to 50 mg as needed for sleep (generally 6.25-12.5 mg a few times a week, though sometimes more) - 2009 (ish) to present

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day, periodically down to 30 mg/day - May 2014 to May 2025

Clonazepam - up to 1 mg/day as needed - March to May 2025, quick taper off

Zoloft - 150 mg/day - May 2025 to Aug 2025 (quick cross-taper from Cymbalta)

Pristiq - 50 mg/day from Aug 2025 to mid-Oct 2025 (quick cross-taper from Zoloft); 100 mg/day from Oct 2025 to Dec 2025; back down to 50 mg/day from Dec 2025 to Jan 2026

Lyrica - 200 mg/day - Nov 2025 to Jan 2026 (quick taper off from mid-Jan to early Feb 2026 due to severe depressive symptoms)

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day - Jan - March 2026; up to 90 mg/day from March to present

2

August 28Aug 28

3 hours ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Update, went to sleep unusually early yesterday and took about 3 hours of relaxing music, but managed to get quite the restorative uninterrupted sleep. Haven't really counted the hours, but around 6 to 8.
Symptoms softened today and took the opportunity to take care of the plants, took some sun in my terrace, lazy showered, did simple laundry... Now I'm lying in bed as symptoms and paranoias returned from pushing myself, but it was nice to be able to function for a couple hours. I hope it's a sign of more and better to come. But I miss being able to do things without fear of symptoms, mood changes or being easily overwhelmed with emotions I can't process. I miss my mountain bike, friends and the nature around my town so much.

Print out all of the positives here and paste it on a wall. You had a window even for a few hours. I'm so happy for you.

Antidepressant History

2007ish to Jan 2017 - On and off weekly Prozac capsule, occasional Ambien

Jan 2017 to July 2018 - Drug free other than occasional Ambien

July 2018 to Jan 2019 - Mixture of Zyprexa, Zoloft, Ambien on and off

Feb 2019 to June 2019 - 10mg of Celexa

June 2019 to Feb/March 2020 - CT or on and off usage of Celexa

March 2020 - Sept 2020 - 10mg Celexa, 10mg Stratterra, Wellbutrin, Ambien

Sept 2020 - March 2022 - on and off use of 10mg Celexa and 10mg Prozac. Really can't remember

April/May 2022 - December 2024 - 10mg to 20mg Lexapro, 10mg Ambien

December 2024 - CT of 10mg Lexapro

February 2026 - Took lorazepam that may have caused extreme agitation

March 9th 2026 - 5mg of Lexapro out of desperation, CT after

April 1 to 4th 2026 - 2.5mg reinstatement of Lexapro. CT after

May 14th 2026 - 1mg Lexapro reinstatement, bad side effects, CT after

May 29th 2026 - "forced" to take Lamictal 25mg and Seroquel 25mg, CT after

2

August 29Aug 29

Author

Sigh, back to feeling terrible. Woke up with pain and tense all over, everything overwhelms me, I get palpitations for no reason, feel cold and hot at the same time, balance is off, eating is a struggle, stomach, bowels and abdomen hurt... Can't believe that at 13+ months off I'm still unable to self care and suffering so many symptoms, when I was fully able the earlier months. A friend wanted to watch a movie with me tonight, but I suppose I'm way too unstable for these things now, I can't handle anything today, just my bed

2012 5-10mg escitalopram with very occasional benzo
2022 - Bad reaction to ansium, escitalopram increased to 15mg temporarily until stable, and started the tapering process
June 2024 - Tapered off escitalopram and drug free
19/02/2025 - 28/02/2025 - Triple therapy antibiotics for h pylori. Omeprazole, amoxicillin, clarithromicyn
17/04/2025 - Reinstate escitalopram 5mg
??/04/2025 - Trial of different PPIs for stomach issues (omeprazole, pantoprazole, lansoprazole and rabeprazole). I stick to rabeprazole.
??/05/2025 - Trial of Mirtazapine 3,75 - 1mg for appetite and sleep, just take it for 3 non consecutive days and stop because it's too sedating.
??/06/2025 - Trial of different stomach medications like cinitapiride, iberogast, alflorex. Get bad reactions so I stop them after a couple days.
22/07/2025 - Taper escitalopram to 2,5mg for a week, last dose on the 22nd of July.
Current medications: Rabeprazole 10mg on alternating days.

1

August 29Aug 29

7 minutes ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Sigh, back to feeling terrible. Woke up with pain and tense all over, everything overwhelms me, I get palpitations for no reason, feel cold and hot at the same time, balance is off, eating is a struggle, stomach, bowels and abdomen hurt... Can't believe that at 13+ months off I'm still unable to self care and suffering so many symptoms, when I was fully able the earlier months. A friend wanted to watch a movie with me tonight, but I suppose I'm way too unstable for these things now, I can't handle anything today, just my bed

Im sorry to hear that youre struggling.

I have a feeling that you might be in a bad wave or something. If you feel like youre not able to watch a movie with your friend then you should most likely just try to rest and take it easy if you can. Maybe let them know that youre having a rough time if youre comfortable with doing that. Hoping that you have a big window soon!

Edited August 29Aug 29 by Some0n3

Prior History:

(note that these are only the first prescription dates since i dont remember how long i was on them. there are also some prescriptions of the same stuff that were prescribed again at a later date so i dont remember if ive tried them again or not.)

Concerta: 18mg - 12.3.2014 ⏐ 36mg - 28.4.2014

Equasym Retard: 30mg - 20.11.2014

Medikinet: 5mg - 8.9.2015

Elvanse: 30mg - 30.10.2015

Risperdal: 0,5mg - 8.12.2015 ⏐ 1mg - 2.3.2017

Sertraline: 50mg - 14.10.2016 ⏐ 100mg - 17.1.2018

Intuniv: 1mg - 7.4.2017 ⏐ 2mg - 21.4.2017 ⏐ 4mg - 9.5.2017 ⏐ 3mg - 8.8.2017

Primperan: 10mg - 27.2.2019

Strattera: 25mg - 18.4.2019 ⏐ 10mg - 10.5.2019

Quetiapine: 25mg - 23.2.2021

Mirtazapine: 15mg - 29.2.2024

Escitalopram History:

9.9.2021 Escitalopram 10mg

9.9.2022 Escitalopram 15mg

2.5.2024 Escitalopram 20mg

1.7.2024 Escitalopram CT

11.11.2024 Escitalopram RI 10mg

14.11.2024 Escitalopram CT

15.12.2024 Escitalopram 2.5mg

29.12.2024 Escitalopram 5mg

12.1.2025 Escitalopram 10mg

12.1.2026 Escitalopram 7.5mg

26.1.2026 Escitalopram 5mg

Current Dose: Escitalopram 5mg

(some of these dates may not be entirely correct but theyre close enough based on what i can remember)

1
1

August 29Aug 29

1 hour ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Sigh, back to feeling terrible. Woke up with pain and tense all over, everything overwhelms me, I get palpitations for no reason, feel cold and hot at the same time, balance is off, eating is a struggle, stomach, bowels and abdomen hurt... Can't believe that at 13+ months off I'm still unable to self care and suffering so many symptoms, when I was fully able the earlier months. A friend wanted to watch a movie with me tonight, but I suppose I'm way too unstable for these things now, I can't handle anything today, just my bed

Hang onto the thoughts of the window you had and know you will have another That's how I got through my waves. Windows are a blessing and a curse. They're wonderful and give us glimpses of what we can be in recovery, but it can be devastating when they're followed by a wave, because we think we're finally recovering, but then we get hit by another low point. But if you've had one window despite all your awful symptoms, you can have another at any time. Hang in there!

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

I offer advice based on my experience. Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice.

1

August 29Aug 29

1 hour ago, ALonelySoul12 said:
Sigh, back to feeling terrible. Woke up with pain and tense all over, everything overwhelms me, I get palpitations for no reason, feel cold and hot at the same time, balance is off, eating is a struggle, stomach, bowels and abdomen hurt... Can't believe that at 13+ months off I'm still unable to self care and suffering so many symptoms, when I was fully able the earlier months. A friend wanted to watch a movie with me tonight, but I suppose I'm way too unstable for these things now, I can't handle anything today, just my bed

I am so sorry you are enduring this @ALonelySoul12 Suffering constantly over 13 months with no noticeable improvement or relief is utterly exhausting and heartbreaking. It makes complete sense that you will feel that way.

Focus only on getting through the next moments with self-compassion, that's all you need to do now.

Your friend's offer could actually be a good distraction, but if it feels too overwhelming, it is completely okay to just explain your situation and leave it at that.

I really hope you turn a corner toward relief very soon.

Keep fighting with courage, you are doing amazing just holding on, it will change eventually

.

1998 forced on cipramil *no anxiety/depression background*

Over the years all kinds of SSRI/SNRI/antipsychotics/stabilizers due to apparently side effects/withdrawal

Many attempts to quit over the years with failure (extremely rapid taper followed by doctors' guidens)

Current attempt-Paxil 20 mg:

6/24 20 mg to 5 mg-severe AKA

9/24 Increase to 20-AKA continues

10/24 stopped completely-AKA out of control

11/24 Zoloft bridge attempt-25 mg to 75 mg+Seroquel-AKA continued-stopped them CT.

12/24 Back on Paxil 10mg (0.1789g)-some stabilization-from here tapered by about 30% each time (don't remember doses and dates).

2025 - 7.10 0.0558g (3.11mg)/7.11 3% 0.0541g (3.02mg)/4.12 1% 0.0535g (2.98mg)

2026 - 3.1 1.5% 0.0526g (2.93mg)/9.1 8.5% 0.0480g (2.68mg)/16.2 1.8% 0.0470g (2.62mg)/21.3 1% 0.466 (2.60mg)/23.4 2.2% 0.455g (2.54mg)/8.7 21.7% 0.0356.5g (2mg)/15.8 updose by 11.7% 0.0400g (2.23mg)

Supplements:

Magnesium Glycinate - started 28.5.26 1 capsule 200mg in the morning - Increased brain fog and muscle stiffness - stopped after two weeks.

Iron - liquid, quarter of recommended dose - increased anxiety and burning sensation - stopped after two weeks.

Saffron - started 8.7.26 1 capsule 30mg in the morning - pretty immediate improvement in terms of terror, body pain and sleep.

3

August 30Aug 30

@ALonelySoul12 So good to hear of your sleep and your nice little window. Good signs the body is fighting hard for you, windows are evidence of whats coming next, healing can and will happen, hang onto that feeling when things are tough. Better days coming.

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys.

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

1

ALonelySoul12: 5mg Escitalopram/Lexapro withdrawal. My diary.

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