@Luke Hi, just wanted to stop by to say I think you doing an amazing job here when you are going through awful symptoms yourself. I hope you continue to heal so you can go back to enjoying the things you used to do. Fatigue sucks, ruins everything. Regards x

6 hours ago, Sonia2 said:

Fatigue sucks, ruins everything.

That about sums it up, I'm a lot better in most other ways though, so that's good.

Thank you for the kind words.

Hi @Luke

Just checking in on your thread. I’m pleased to see that things are improving for you, albeit slowly. I feel confident you will see much more healing in time.

Thanks so much for popping by my thread and keeping the ship afloat here with Chippy and the crew. You guys do such a great job in the huge gap left by doctors, psychs and the medical community. Resources like this site are critical.

Sending hopes of continued healing for you. None of us deserve this but I can see how wronged you are and how this has derailed your life for such a considerable time, though life is not linear either and it is my belief that opportunities to do the things you have wanted will continue to come your way once you have healed more.

One foot in front of the other, though you know this already. All the best, G x

@SparklingG thank you.

I often stress that I'll just sort of partially heal and always have compromised health, and not very good wellbeing.

However, I look at where I was a year ago and I'm much less bad than that, so hopefully this means that if the timescale is long enough, I'll be doing ok.

Daily life is quite stressful, I'm constantly just getting through it. I think many here can relate to being able to function a bit, but not much, and that pushing yourself to do this repeatedly is extremely draining and stressful. It has taken me 3+ years to reach this point- the battle fatigue is immense.

It seems likely that in more time, I'll be better than I am. I'm better than early this year.

Thanks for the kind words.

9 hours ago, Luke said:

@SparklingG thank you.

I often stress that I'll just sort of partially heal and always have compromised health, and not very good wellbeing.

However, I look at where I was a year ago and I'm much less bad than that, so hopefully this means that if the timescale is long enough, I'll be doing ok.

Daily life is quite stressful, I'm constantly just getting through it. I think many here can relate to being able to function a bit, but not much, and that pushing yourself to do this repeatedly is extremely draining and stressful. It has taken me 3+ years to reach this point- the battle fatigue is immense.

It seems likely that in more time, I'll be better than I am. I'm better than early this year.

Thanks for the kind words.

On 7/26/2026 at 3:20 AM, Luke said:

@SparklingG thank you.

I often stress that I'll just sort of partially heal and always have compromised health, and not very good wellbeing.

However, I look at where I was a year ago and I'm much less bad than that, so hopefully this means that if the timescale is long enough, I'll be doing ok.

Daily life is quite stressful, I'm constantly just getting through it. I think many here can relate to being able to function a bit, but not much, and that pushing yourself to do this repeatedly is extremely draining and stressful. It has taken me 3+ years to reach this point- the battle fatigue is immense.

It seems likely that in more time, I'll be better than I am. I'm better than early this year.

Thanks for the kind words.

Luke, I can relate when you say particularly heal, I felt this earlier on, and yes when life's stresses seem to compound our daily lives it can make the healing process more challenging. It seems relentless day in and day out. How is the exhaustion doing, better I hope. I would agree when you say further along than last year, our system are healing but not at the pace we would like, but you are doing great, especially with all the responsibility you deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes I think we don't give ourselves enough credit considering all that our bodies have gone through and I myself have to cut myself some slack and be a little gentler on myself. Sending prayers for some needed relief and calm. 🤗

@Bernadette unfortunately though I'm not worried about only partially healing early on, I'm years into this.

Unfortunately I've been in a pretty brutal wave since Thursday ish. The gaps between aren't exactly great and I struggle physically still but it's been much more difficult since then.

I'll probably come out of it soon but even so, 3 years and 3 months off of just short term use and still fighting constantly just to kind of function somewhat and hold down a much lower level job than I used to do while living with my parents in my mid 30s because I would struggle on my own.

Yes, I'm much better than I was. Still having a very hard time a lot of the time years out and life is just worse in every way since this drug. I can't do a lot about this because of my limitations. My career has been massively damaged, I'm junior to people I trained who still come to me for advice. I've lost a fortune. I've lost my health. I've lost the prime years of my life.

Yesterday someone who used to know me very well at work didn't even recognise me until I said who I was. I started this drug young, fit, glowing and healthy. I've spent years barely moving, barely sleeping, being really ill, aging badly and I look pretty terrible and nothing like I used to. Even my face has changed a lot.

Will I get better eventually? Yeah maybe.

Hey @Luke — just wanted to pop by and say that I’ve only been on this forum (almost) 4 months, but based on your posts it seems that you’ve healed a lot in that time. I know this is only a drop in the bucket of the 3+ years you’ve been suffering, and it certainly doesn’t make up for all that you’ve lost, but if you keep going at this rate I have a lot of hope that you’ll recover. All the best 💜.

@SarahMc I would say that it is only really in 2026, that I have experienced a more consistent recovery trajectory. Plenty of setbacks and very difficult times, but clearly better/less bad every month or two on average.

Yes, hopefully this means that if that continues, I will soon be reasonably well. I just cannot believe how difficult life is this far out. Yesterday I went for a 10min walk and it caused hours of feeling really bad.

Thank you for the kind words.

On 7/28/2026 at 3:33 PM, Luke said:

@Bernadette unfortunately though I'm not worried about only partially healing early on, I'm years into this.

Unfortunately I've been in a pretty brutal wave since Thursday ish. The gaps between aren't exactly great and I struggle physically still but it's been much more difficult since then.

I'll probably come out of it soon but even so, 3 years and 3 months off of just short term use and still fighting constantly just to kind of function somewhat and hold down a much lower level job than I used to do while living with my parents in my mid 30s because I would struggle on my own.

Yes, I'm much better than I was. Still having a very hard time a lot of the time years out and life is just worse in every way since this drug. I can't do a lot about this because of my limitations. My career has been massively damaged, I'm junior to people I trained who still come to me for advice. I've lost a fortune. I've lost my health. I've lost the prime years of my life.

Yesterday someone who used to know me very well at work didn't even recognise me until I said who I was. I started this drug young, fit, glowing and healthy. I've spent years barely moving, barely sleeping, being really ill, aging badly and I look pretty terrible and nothing like I used to. Even my face has changed a lot.

Will I get better eventually? Yeah maybe.

I have all the faith in the world you and all of us will reach the pinnacle of a new and glorious new life. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we new the when, then it wouldn't seem so bad and we could look forward to something. It's the unknowing that gets frustrating sometimes. You are so strong , not only getting as far as you have ,but for the generous support and knowledge you bring to this site. 🤗 hugs for now my friend, praying for a glorious window soon. I'll say a extra prayer tonight when I do my rosary before bed. Like they say, " Prayer is power "

@Bernadette thank you.

I think I'm slowly coming out of it now, but we'll see how the next days go.

Luke, this is wonderful, I'm optimistic you have been so patient through this wave. ☺️

31 minutes ago, Luke said:

@Bernadette thank you.

I think I'm slowly coming out of it now, but we'll see how the next days go.

Positive and supportive thougts going out to you, @Luke !

@Luke , just checking in, how are things going, good I hope.

@Bernadette thank you for asking.

I'm still often physically tired, usually sleeping poorly and feeling a bit rough. I'm functioning through it for the most part though.

How are you?

@Luke sorry your still experiencing the physical tiredness and not sleeping well, praying this will get better for you soon. I'm still doing quite well since my last post. It's my husband's and I Anniversary today, so after my therapy appointment on my shoulder I'm headed up to the camp site and We'll be camping for the weekend, hopefully the heat cooperates with me. Other than the queezyness in my stomach, the other symptoms are just a nusens and pass quickly. Hugs for now my friend you are so strong through all through all this

Thank you. I'm glad you're doing reasonably well. I hope that continues.

I am improving in time, I just need more of it, and sometimes it is hard.

Hope things like walk and sleep get easier for you, please continue to keep us updated

Thanks.

I'm really struggling living with the stress of this every day this far out. I can usually function to a reasonable degree, but it is never totally easy, and sometimes it is extremely hard.

I have not had a natural night of sleep for years. It is better than it was but still not good. That alone is absolutely deleterious to my health and wellbeing. Yesterday, out of nowhere, I felt really ill again.

I'll start doing something, and it's a total lottery whether it will be fine or if I'll rapidly start feeling more and more ill.

Planning anything is immensely stressful as a result, so I try to avoid it where possible. I never know how difficult it will be to function, work etc tomorrow. Every night I go to bed knowing I might wake up at 4am really ill. This will sound familiar to many people who are not years off.

In the first year of this, I expressed that my future would likely be extremely difficult recovery from disability, taking a long time and a lot of suffering, and that this would not be worth it for living a poor quality of life long term, being pretty miserable and in constant difficulty. I was urged not catastrophise.

I wasn't, I was being entirely realistic and this is exactly what has happened. I'm no longer really disabled, but I'm consistently unwell for the long term and live a restricted, small and stressful life that's mostly pretty lonely and sad. Some days are ok, but they are still within this context. Withdrawal is still my life. The Mirtazapine I took for a few months starting in late 2022 is still a factor in every single day coming towards the autumn of 2026.

Hopefully this really will turn around soon, but I say that constantly.

Hi Luke

I had no intention of coming back on here today but here I am! I wanted to check out your page first and will return on the 14th for an update.

When we first started speaking back on SA you had very little to probably no hope! That has changed so so so much and I don’t even know if you are aware of how differently you write now.

I am not trying to gaslight you, I know you are suffering and have suffered immensely and for that I am truly sorry. It’s so cruel what we have all experienced and are still experiencing, you will heal, I really believe this. Why? Not because I’m an eternal optimist, but because there has been progress. Some significant progress in this year. Who knows where we will be this time next year; but my firm hunch is that you are well over the worst of this.

You’ve survived every wave, pushed though, battled. You are exhausted. But you will write a success story, and like Angie’s, and many others who went before you…it will be a beacon of hope and we will all be so grateful that you stuck it out to live the life you deserve.

I watched Angie’s 6.5 year video again this week. The difference between year 5 and then the 6.5 mark is mega. Huge. She makes a massive leap forward. Watch it again. And see the change.

Who knows when it will be you;

Soon, I pray.

Take care

Rosie x

I hope if anything sleep comes back 100% for you does seem like that is one of the symptoms that does come back for most people

Is the fatigue still crushing or did that get better?

I'm sorry I know its like an awful car accident you're still living in the recovery through

@Its-me-Rosie Thanks, I appreciate it.

The thing with Angela's recovery though- she was so, so much better than me at 3 years off and constantly tells people not to be scared of long recoveries as at 3 years people are still in it but doing ok, living decent lives etc. AND not to compare to her as she was on 45+ different drugs. At 3 years off she was in full time study in higher education, flying all over the country and so on.

I live with my parents in my mid 30s and only just about managing to do that. I used to manage a team of people and millions of pounds worth of engineering work. Now I struggle immensely to do a more junior role and people I helped hire and train and senior to me. I fight hard to drag myself out of bed and out of the house, to struggle through work that was a breeze for me ten years ago. Every single day I fantasise about resigning because it's so hard, every single day. I was totally unable to work at all for 2 years, and then after that I've spent longer than many people on this site have been in WD just forcing myself to try to work. All that after just a few months of one drug.

The only reason I don't quit my job is because life will fall apart even more than it has done, and if I do, getting another similar one will be pretty much impossible but the longer I do this for the more I get a sense that it's utterly futile and my quality of life is shit for the long term either way so why worsen it doing that for no benefit? In a couple of months I'll have been fighting to get back to work for a year and a half. It's still relentlessly hard.

I still have remnants of sexual dysfunction, and difficulties using the bathroom. Is it safe for me to ever start a family now or is that just unethical if I risk producing children with birth defects? I'll do another stretch of time suffering through this, maybe 6 months, maybe another 3 years and then what? My late 30s, still asking that question having just missed the decade where people do that. What's the point?

As for surviving waves, I absolutely do have waves, where I'm really bad for an entire week, but I'm also never like 80% healed or whatever inbetween. I'm ALWAYS symptomatic.

I absolutely hate waking up each day, feeling terrible physically knowing there's an entire day to push myself through feeling this way. The only reward for doing that is having to do that again, for years.

There is a chance that later this year I'll be doing ok, but there's also a chance that I'll just constantly be exhausted and ill for many more years to come as life just passes me by. Angela was way better than me, and living a much better life at 3 years and then was still in it for years.

I don't want to live like this. I didn't want to live like this a year ago, and then I wasted another year. I could have said the same a year ago, and a year ago before that even.

I realise that I've improved slowly this year, but this is a post I made exactly a year ago, almost to the day:

I'm suffering quite badly, the majority of the time.

 

The average level of suffering has reduced, very slowly, month by month this year, but that does not leave me in a good place.

 

All symptoms fluctuate in intensity, and some days are bearable if I have fewer of them, or most of them are low-intensity, but they are very few and far between. Some days are very, very bad. Most of them are quite bad as a baseline.

 

My quality of life is very poor. There is no wellbeing when you are constantly physically ill. The overwhelming majority of days I am simply fighting to get to the end of them.

 

In 2023 and 2024 I wished to fast-forward to the end of the year, when I would surely be recovered. It is not a given that I'll be okayish at the end of 2025.

 

There have been many comments in this thread and in various other support groups telling me not to be negative and believe that I have a multi-year recovery period, that my health is compromised long-term, that my life is badly destroyed and so on. Overwhelmingly, those people have recovered in months and disappeared, and I turned out to be right.

Am I better than I was then, on average? Sure. Could I rewrite that post word for word today and it still all be true? Also yes. Shall I wish to fast-forward to the end of the year when I'll surely be recovered for a fourth time?

I get that the coaches are helpful to some, but I hear their stories and it only reinforces how badly my health got destroyed relative to them and how poor my recovery outlook is. I really can't emphasise enough how much I hate the life I live post-drug.

17 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

Is the fatigue still crushing or did that get better?

Some days, or half days, yes. Other days I feel ill, tired, sleep deprived etc.

Every day is some combination of these, or if I'm lucky only one maybe.

Dear @Luke it saddens me to here your struggling so much, if I could give you a brighter tomorrow right now I would in a heart beat. I myself didn't think being on citalopram for only 3 months and tapering for 7 months was going to affect me like it did but here we all are,just another day, month, year. But I have to believe and keep the faith that God has a purpose for me, and nearing 56 I'll be gosh darned if I'm letting some stupid pill take the remaining time from me, so I sit here and tred through and say not today, not this time, I still have a lot of living to do. You are so very special to so many Luke, and you got a whole lot of livin' to do. Hugs for now xxxx Bernadette

Thank you @Bernadette.

Yesterday and today have been a little easier. I'm still tired all the time and sleep poorly. I can't remember the last time I didn't wake up in the night, probably a few weeks ago. The times when I don't wake up in the night I just wake up at 4-5am and that's me done so it's not like it's great sleep.

I still get nightmares, less intense and not every night now. They started from pill #1 of mirtazapine.