sorry: I don’t mean I am glad it’s slow, that was bad wording from my side.

I hope you get what I mean (language barrier 🤪)

38 minutes ago, Luke said:

Anyway, 3 years and 2 months off today.

In the last month I've had a LOT of very, very difficult days. Flare ups of old symptoms and so on. The exhaustion and fatigue have really ramped up again at times.

However, I've also had a handful of fairly tolerable days, although today is one of those days and I've been awake since 3am, so it's not like the tolerable days are good, they're just not raw suffering with a big array of symptoms.

I still think it's progress. I am better than I was a few months ago, on average, and way better than at the start of this year on average.

My hope is that in the next month more of my days are tolerable, and/or that I reach a point where it's all tolerable despite lingering symptoms soon.

I’m sorry it’s so painfully slow, but really glad to hear you’re having more tolerable days. I hope the tolerable days keep becoming more frequent and that you even get some truly good days very soon.

1 hour ago, Luke said:

Thank you for the kind words. I get that, but equally I've been off of these drugs for a full year and a half longer than you without any windows. Still, I'm slowly getting better.

@Its-me-Rosie thank you so much for the kind message. I do appreciate it a lot.

Was I really quite severely harmed? Absolutely.

However, none of the harm done to any of us is ok, and my suffering is not more important than yours nor anyone else's. It's all equally unacceptable.

Anyway, 3 years and 2 months off today.

In the last month I've had a LOT of very, very difficult days. Flare ups of old symptoms and so on. The exhaustion and fatigue have really ramped up again at times.

However, I've also had a handful of fairly tolerable days, although today is one of those days and I've been awake since 3am, so it's not like the tolerable days are good, they're just not raw suffering with a big array of symptoms.

I still think it's progress. I am better than I was a few months ago, on average, and way better than at the start of this year on average.

My hope is that in the next month more of my days are tolerable, and/or that I reach a point where it's all tolerable despite lingering symptoms soon.

You're the man luke. I hope you reach the point where all days are tolerable... And maybe "good" ones start to pop up. Fingers crossed for you!

On 6/14/2026 at 11:40 PM, Talltreescoldseas said:

Cyproheptadine might be able to help you out a bit with the pssd stuff as long as you’re stable otherwise

Did it help you?

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

22 hours ago, Sophia said:

I hope you get what I mean (language barrier 🤪)

I got it, don't worry. Thank you, I appreciate it.

5 hours ago, Samuel said:

Did it help you?

He is still taking psychiatric medications, so any experiences won't be in the context of PSSD.

16 hours ago, Samuel said:

Did it help you?

10 hours ago, Luke said:

He is still taking psychiatric medications, so any experiences won't be in the context of PSSD.

Yeah luke’s got it, I dont have pssd. In fact whenever i go down on the ssri it’s like uncontrollable libido for a while and then it calms a bit.

I’ve just heard that its one of the less oft applied treatments but can have some positive effects. It’s like bending something the opposite way to make it straight again. Bends a little further in the other direction and then snaps back to the middle (it’s a serotonin antagonist (?)) not sure exactly if i’m using that correctly as i’m a little tired

Hi Luke, just checking in. How are you doing? Hoping you have found some relief or a wndow. Sending special thoughts and prayers. Sincerely Bernadette 🤗🙏

Thanks for asking.

I had a run of a few days in the latter half of last week that were tolerable, a couple could even have been called ok days where I was able to enjoy parts of them and not just be surviving symptoms, which is encouraging.

However, I've since plunged back into a deep wave, the skin on my face cracked and bled, I'm exhausted, my sleep is much worse, I have headaches. Dragging myself around and kind of functioning is very difficult again.

I'm trying to take some kind of encouragement from having a few days in a row that weren't too bad but I look at others who are having multi-week, proper windows where they feel really healed and it's just so hard to celebrate a couple of okayish days when that's a new development at several years out. I just feel miles away from a good quality of life where I'm not just struggling to get through each day.

I believe that I'll be further forward on average towards the end of this year. It is slowly getting milder, but I can say that about the first half of this year and it just doesn't matter, life is just still really hard and other than small glimmers I've had recently, it's just constant survival. The idea that if I suffer for many more months or years I might be kind of better than now but suffering, just doesn't appeal.

I’m glad you had a couple ok days. I know the extent of your suffering has been worse than many on here, and certainly worse than mine, but I don’t think the situation we find ourselves in appeals to any of us. But we have to keep moving forward.

To a large extent the future is unknown. Perhaps you’ll continue to improve slowly at this pace, but maybe you’ll find yourself turning a sharp corner soon as some people describe. Who knows? Either way, it seems likely that one day those ok (or even good) days will far outnumber the bad ones, and hopefully at some point the bad days will just be a terrible memory.

Thanks for everything you do @Luke.

11 hours ago, Luke said:

Thanks for asking.

I had a run of a few days in the latter half of last week that were tolerable, a couple could even have been called ok days where I was able to enjoy parts of them and not just be surviving symptoms, which is encouraging.

However, I've since plunged back into a deep wave, the skin on my face cracked and bled, I'm exhausted, my sleep is much worse, I have headaches. Dragging myself around and kind of functioning is very difficult again.

I'm trying to take some kind of encouragement from having a few days in a row that weren't too bad but I look at others who are having multi-week, proper windows where they feel really healed and it's just so hard to celebrate a couple of okayish days when that's a new development at several years out. I just feel miles away from a good quality of life where I'm not just struggling to get through each day.

I believe that I'll be further forward on average towards the end of this year. It is slowly getting milder, but I can say that about the first half of this year and it just doesn't matter, life is just still really hard and other than small glimmers I've had recently, it's just constant survival. The idea that if I suffer for many more months or years I might be kind of better than now but suffering, just doesn't appeal.

I'm glad to hear you had a few days that were tolerable and ok, that is absolutely progress, and sorry your back in a wave, in the beginning when I had glimpses of relief and then taken away so abruptly it was frustrating, and I would sit and cry and ask any why, why Lord why me. Does he have some purpose, some plan that I cannot forsee. I have to hang on to my faith and belief and know that he will heal all of us. When we least expect it, one day it will be like the morning light to a new day. For now hang in there, and yes I'm sending a prayer for some more much needed relief. You are doing amazing. 🤗🙏Bernadette

On 7/1/2026 at 12:58 PM, SarahMc said:

I’m glad you had a couple ok days. I know the extent of your suffering has been worse than many on here, and certainly worse than mine, but I don’t think the situation we find ourselves in appeals to any of us. But we have to keep moving forward.

Thanks, it's a good sign, definitely. I'm just often struggling so much physically, a lot of the time. This significantly reduces my ability to try to improve my quality of life, distract myself and so on, and trying to function through it is immensely stressful.

It's hard to look over the top when you're in the trenches, basically.

A major symptom that has plagued me from the start is strong physical exhaustion, and that just makes coping with everything much, much harder. The better days are ones where I am tired, but it's a background feeling and I can function ok and do things. Ontop of that, I'd say there's a psychological element to also just being utterly emotionally exhausted from fighting the effects of these drugs for years now.

On 7/1/2026 at 12:58 PM, SarahMc said:

Either way, it seems likely that one day those ok (or even good) days will far outnumber the bad ones, and hopefully at some point the bad days will just be a terrible memory.

Probably, yes. Hopefully this is much sooner rather than later. This will be the understatement of the century, but I've had enough.

On 7/1/2026 at 12:58 PM, SarahMc said:

Thanks for everything you do @Luke.

Thank YOU. The community is everything and you are a mentor, giving your time to keep it going and help others.

On 7/1/2026 at 9:06 PM, Bernadette said:

I'm glad to hear you had a few days that were tolerable and ok, that is absolutely progress

It is, yes. It's just very difficult to only be getting small amounts of relief this far out.

I'm becoming very frustrated and impatient, this has swallowed what would have been the prime of my life. I was at the peak of my physical health, had just had a major career break (very much gone). I fortunately managed to stay on the books and go back to my previous employer after being off work for years, but I'm now junior to people I personally trained and taught.

I know not everyone has to live the "typical" life but I took Mirtazapine shortly after my 31st birthday and began suffering significant side effects from pill #1. In a couple of months, I'll be 35. Most of my peers have spent this time finding partners, marrying, travelling, advancing their careers etc. I've spent a lot of it severely ill and suffering in my parents' spare bedroom.

Am I old? No. Is it possible to go on to live a decent life after recovery? Sure. Is this still absolutely gutting? Absolutely. It's a hideous waste.

I would love to be well enough to exercise regularly.

Thank you both for the kind words.

4 hours ago, Luke said:

Thanks, it's a good sign, definitely. I'm just often struggling so much physically, a lot of the time. This significantly reduces my ability to try to improve my quality of life, distract myself and so on, and trying to function through it is immensely stressful.

It's hard to look over the top when you're in the trenches, basically.

A major symptom that has plagued me from the start is strong physical exhaustion, and that just makes coping with everything much, much harder. The better days are ones where I am tired, but it's a background feeling and I can function ok and do things. Ontop of that, I'd say there's a psychological element to also just being utterly emotionally exhausted from fighting the effects of these drugs for years now.

Sorry Luke. I can definitely see how physical exhaustion would be a really tough symptom to handle. My worst days are when I have severe brain fog combined with waves of unexplained anxiety and a constant underlying feeling of dread or doom. It makes distraction difficult in the sense that I can’t really focus or be present with any activity, but at least I can still do things like walk the dogs or whatever just to make time pass.

I know you’ve talked about how before all this you were hitting the gym regularly and were in good shape. I can imagine how devastating it is to lose that for years on top of everything else. I think it’s likely that you’ll get it back, and I hope it comes sooner rather than later.

I think we all empathize with the feeling of not being able to see out of the trenches sometimes.

4 hours ago, Luke said:

Thank YOU. The community is everything and you are a mentor, giving your time to keep it going and help others.

You’re absolutely right that the community is everything 💜.

Luke, yes the exhaustion is very taxing on a person's system, there were times I would just sit and look at all the things that need to be done around the house and just say tomorrow is another day and remind myself to listen to my body, its trying to tell me something. Yes I see the frustration with being in the prime of your life a person should be enjoying all the wonders life has to give, we have to remind ourselves that this isn't forever and just a better and stronger version of ourselves. I myself have way passed my prime, I'll be nearing 56 years old, but it doesn't make it any easier knowing that these med have taken away almost 3 years of my life. Be kind to yourself and just now relief is coming. Again, thank you for everything you do for this forum and guide so many people through the most difficult times. Hugs xxx Bernadette

Hey Luke, hope summer is not treating you too badly. I know heat can cause flare up of symptoms. Hopefully you have airconditioner where you work.

2 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

Hopefully you have airconditioner where you work.

In the Uk we basically don't have AC in homes. A few but very rare.

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

In the Uk we basically don't have AC in homes. A few but very rare.

Damn ... have you both ever met up?

14 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

Damn ... have you both ever met up?

No, Luke is about 3 hours from me I think. Maybe one day!

Hi @Luke I know it feels like a mountain to climb...but I still remain solid in saying that you will see very bright days ahead and soon. You started this site with @Chippy which still takes tremendous amount of strength and resilience to operate. It gives a wonderful purpose to daily life or that's what I imagine it can do for you. I am glad that you do see progress however small it may be. What seems to be the most discernible difference even if small?

Be well, my friend 🌺

On another note: sorry to hear that the folks and friends from the UK do not have A/C--it was near 100 F/ 38 C here near Chicago last week. I think it was pretty bad in Europe as well but I don't know if it was that high in temps. The humidity can make your hair frizz like crazy. My mom's A/C went out during it but she was in the hospital for hip surgery and we both slept there instead of in her home. I live about 2 hours from here and was coming to care for her. Thank God/goodness for A/C. Strategically placed fans can work wonders though too.

On 7/6/2026 at 3:17 AM, Chippy said:

No, Luke is about 3 hours from me I think. Maybe one day!

meet if you can I think it would be cathartic for both of you

Hope fatigue is better these days

3 years and 3 months off yesterday.

I've reached a point where I'm usually not physically ill anymore, I do sometimes feel run down or physically off, but not really overly ill for the most part. That's a lot of progress.

However, the fatigue and exhaustion are still difficult and significantly restrict my life. I can do more, but unfortunately it's still a struggle just living and working around this. It does fluctuate, so I have times when it isn't so bad, but it also significantly worsens too. On the better days I've managed small bits of light exercises but it's really just movements and stretching and stuff, my capacity for it is very low and I often feel worse quickly, so I take it very easy. I find this difficult psychologically. I was a very energetic person who struggled to sit still much at all before this.

Other than this, I still have flare ups of miscellaneous physical symptoms. Less frequent but there's usually something or other. It's more minor now, relative to the impact the fatigue and exhaustion has. I do feel tired, but it's also often very physical as well.

My sleep is still not very good. It's usually not abysmal anymore, and it fluctuates, so sometimes it's really quite poor and others it's not great but I do sleep. I feel as though consistently decent sleep would help.

I often feel quite stressed, but it's not at the same level as it was which was quite bad agitation one step below akathisia.

I can get quite down, and frustrated. It's hard to say whether this is a symptom, or whether it's a natural consequence of being exhausted and the impact it's still having on life.

I'm making progress, month by month, definitely, but it's dragging on forever. I'm glad I'm much better than I was, but being almost constantly exhausted and really having to struggle through things a lot of the time doesn't feel like much of a reward for getting this far. I am hopeful that later this year I might be doing reasonably well- really if the exhaustion cleared up for good I'd be getting somewhere, that and the sleep I guess.

We'll find out.

I appreciate the kind words said to me here. At various points it has been very hot here (and our homes are built to try to keep heat in really), but I wouldn't say it affected withdrawal symptoms really, it was just very hot and uncomfortable and so was I.

43 minutes ago, Luke said:

I was a very energetic person who struggled to sit still much at all before this.

I get this, we all lose things due to all of this, our life changes a lot, we just have to adapt and find the things we can do in this condition.

I used to hate myself so much because I was autistic and I couldn't function like normal people, if you focus on what you can't do, it will be harder and you will suffer, you have to find your new routine, each phase you do what you can, I had a month a bit ago I couldn't even game (lack of energy) and now I can do that more so I do to my limit.

47 minutes ago, Luke said:

I'm making progress, month by month, definitely, but it's dragging on forever. I'm glad I'm much better than I was, but being almost constantly exhausted and really having to struggle through things a lot of the time doesn't feel like much of a reward for getting this far. I am hopeful that later this year I might be doing reasonably well- really if the exhaustion cleared up for good I'd be getting somewhere, that and the sleep I guess.

I would argue even when you are completely healed, you won't feel any reward cause it's all tiny steps, just have to focus on the now and what you can enjoy now, even if its a tiny thing.

48 minutes ago, Luke said:

I appreciate the kind words said to me here.

No worries, we are all supporting each other in this crazy journey, I reach for support at tines as well, this is just an amazing support circle where we all get stronger.

Overall looks like you are progressing nicely Luke, never forget how much you can do now, vs 2 years ago, and appreciate it ❤️

Dear @Luke, thank you for everything you do for us, thank for this site.

I never thought that human suffering caused by these psychiatric drugs can be so immense...

1 hour ago, skamen said:

Dear @Luke, thank you for everything you do for us, thank for this site.

Agreed. What you and @Chippy have provided is helping people immensely. It is very much appreciated.

And to do this in withdrawal is a mammoth task. It is proving your strength and resilience (even though you may not be feeling either strong or resilient).

Thank you.

Wombat

12 hours ago, Lighty said:

I would argue even when you are completely healed, you won't feel any reward cause it's all tiny steps, just have to focus on the now and what you can enjoy now, even if its a tiny thing.

That's true. I think I was trying to say that I'm quite unhappy with everything, I want to live life and do more but it's often difficult.

I'm able to do things and enjoy them to various extents depending on how I'm doing. I try to hold on to this and appreciate it.

If I can do things, it can be good to distract myself. When you're absolutely exhausted physically, this absolutely does translate into the mind as well and it can be very difficult to keep myself from becoming upset and frustrated with life, everything that's happened, stressing about things I need to do in coming days that might be difficult if I'm struggling physically and so on.

It's absolutely true that I've improved in small steps (very non-linearly) over time and over the months and years this has added up. There likely won't be a moment where I'm suddenly doing amazingly, and likely it will continue to slowly get less bad and better over time.

What I wanted to point out, is that the exhaustion/fatigue is a real barrier to doing more to "live well". It would help my wellbeing a lot if I wasn't dealing with this, and it is the major thing preventing me from living life around my symptoms more. I'd love to exercise regularly.

That said, I do do things now, it just varies how much I can do.

11 hours ago, skamen said:

Dear @Luke, thank you for everything you do for us, thank for this site.

I never thought that human suffering caused by these psychiatric drugs can be so immense...

Nobody ever thinks it until it happens, unfortunately.

I hope one day I'll read your success story here.

10 hours ago, Wombat said:

Agreed. What you and @Chippy have provided is helping people immensely. It is very much appreciated.

I'm glad it helps people. I'm outraged that without this site, there basically are no resources for large numbers of people medically harmed, beyond a bunch of facebook groups (and there are a lot of those). This is something that medicine, the pharmaceutical companies, psychiatry etc. should be helping people with.

However, that just reinforces how absolutely convinced I am that this site is necessary- people harmed by these drugs deserve so much better than just being abandoned by psychiatry and medicine and left to suffer.