2 minutes ago, Luke said:

So far, I've found that nothing I've tried has made any difference to my symptoms, positively or negatively. If anyone has any thoughts, feel free to share.

have you read my coping methods topics and tried adopting various mindsets ? Cause if you cannot change the way your body is now, a mindset shift might work better.

I manage to detach from issues and not believe all thoughts/feelings/issues, sure you still have an illness to deal with, but it won't hurt to try right ?

I would say if you want, at least try practicing meditating, it clears your head and mind from all the bs thoughts that don't help, you can also meditate while walking.

With my mindset shift lately since March, I am now mostly happy in life despite my disability and bad days and what not.

Hi Luke,

Have you seen this video by any chance?
SSRI Withdrawal Is Mitochondrial Dysfunction

I honestly don't know if it can help, but you asked for any suggestions so I leave it here just to be sure. Chris Masterjohn researches mitochondrial biology, the energy factories of our bodies. He describes how serotonine plays a vital role in how dese mitochondria operates and that antidepressants and withdrawal mess with the system. Its also thought that for people with longcovid/ME/CFS there are disruptions in the Mitochondria.

He describes that this is the reason some people in withdrawal can experience extreme fatigue. That's why I thought of you.... I listened to it some time ago so I don't remember it exactly but, I remember he talked about cases in his practice were one person who was bedridden and had severe fatigue (toilet next to bed and could not stand in the shower) and another guy had "classic" withdrawal + pssd. He assessed their data and found (genetic) defects. With addressing mitochondria health they improved over the months.

Again, I don't know if it's all to good to be true.. but might be worth looking into it. He also gives some tips like immediate sunlight upon waking up, red light therapy, high dosages of melatonin. He explains it at 1h02.

You can also order tests and can get a personal rapport at his company Science & Testing | Mitochondrial Function Test

Its quite expansive (700 dollars)... but maybe if the video speaks to you and you are really desperate, it might be worth looking into it.... or maybe you can contact them and explain your extreme case and ask if they can help you?

Hope this helps.

1 hour ago, Luke said:

So far, I've found that nothing I've tried has made any difference to my symptoms, positively or negatively. If anyone has any thoughts, feel free to share.

I will say though, that I am not going to try any kind of special diet without compelling evidence it will help, and by evidence I don't mean one example of someone who tried it whilst not severe and not off for years.

If I do not eat regularly, and I allow myself to become hungry, I start feeling much worse, rapidly. Overeating is the only thing I've discovered that can sometimes take the edge off of symptoms, so please keep that in mind before suggesting that I cut out all carbs or other similar dietary strategies that would likely have me bedridden.

I've tried numerous supplements, none have done anything, most of the usual recommended ones, various types of magnesium, various multi-vitamins, various vitamins and minerals individually.

Doing nothing doesn't help. Doing things doesn't either. Getting outdoors for short walks is likely good to stop my health deteriorating even more, but it doesn't help symptoms nor help me recover.

I don't drink alcohol, smoke, take any OTC drugs like painkillers or anything. I can tolerate caffeine, but I only have a cup of coffee after breakfast. Occasionally another late morning, but rarely. I have gone periods with 0 caffeine- no difference.

I feel exhausted, run down, off, depressed and stressed almost constantly, as a baseline. Ontop of that, I have other symptoms that regularly crop up and go away. Very occasionally, I have days or parts of days where all of the "baseline" feelings described above are much milder (but not gone), but they're uncommon.

I try to keep bedtime fairly consistent, I'm not perfect at this, and if I go to sleep too late, it affects my sleep quality. If I go to bed early, it's not as bad but still poor.

Life is a constant, miserable struggle to push through all of this, with plenty of stress trying to cope, for example, if I need to get up in the morning, this is always very difficult. I rarely plan anything, because I almost always regret it if I do. I'm desperately unhappy and I do not consider this life to have been worth surviving years of this for. There are no upsides, I do not like living this way at all. If it wouldn't harm anyone to stop, I would.

Hi @Luke

You can continue to do things you like even if it doesn’t give you any pleasure. For example, read subjects that interest you. I think there is still the "intellectual" part of ourselves that still works (otherwise we couldn’t even write messages) even if it’s at a 1% level than before withdrawal, and we can continue to learn some things day after day.

I’m reacting to @Sophia ’s post ; do you know that even antibiotics have an effect on the mitochondria? That explains why some people are tired after an antibiotic treatment.

For the supplements, have you tried pure organic royal jelly? Also organic honey, one spoon a day. Red meat for B vitamins and physical and emotional endurance. Organic spices (turmeric, cinnamon...) and fresh organic ginger that you can cut into slices, boil and drink as an infusion.

I hope some ideas can help you.

@Lighty thanks, I'll consider it. I don't consider my feelings to be wrong.

@Sophia I haven't, but I'll review it in more detail. I've seen quite a few of these very definitive claims about the underlying cause, along with very expensive methods of treatment/diagnosis. For a while, "epigenetics" were all the rage.

@poulette38 I am almost constantly physically ill. I do do some things, and it is almost always a chore. It won't help me to recover.

I eat plenty of red meat and have a good diet generally, including the spices you mentioned. I have tried ginger infusion. I regularly consume honey. The only thing I have not tried is royal jelly- do you have any more information about why it might be useful in my situation?

1 minute ago, Luke said:

thanks, I'll consider it. I don't consider my feelings to be wrong.

your feelings don't have to be 'wrong', it's not about feelings being wrong, there is just a lower level where you are stuck in materialistic emotional mode that makes you fall into desires and materialistic things, if you elevate to a level of monk mindset, you can choose what you reinforce, you can reinforce a mindful state and feel 10x better.

it's not about feelings or thoughts being wrong, it's about transcending the pain that comes from desire and listening to the monkey in our head and believing anything the monkey says.
basically if you desire nothing, including even being healthy, you can be happy even when being chronically sick.

i laid my case, it's your choice as you wish.

Edited May 11May 11 by Lighty

6 minutes ago, Luke said:

I've seen quite a few of these very definitive claims about the underlying cause, along with very expensive methods of treatment/diagnosis. For a while, "epigenetics" were all the rage.

I know, thats why I said I don't know if it's all to good to be true. But anyhow, maybe if some easy lifestyle changes (like direct sunlight in eye upon waking) or safe supplements like creatine / melatonin can support your body an extra 5%, it can help to chain a more positive upward trend in recovery. Red light therapy also seem harmless in withdrawal so you have nothing to loose if it’s not the cure either.

It can also help with regaining some sense of control. I feel in your posts you feel completely powerless and desperate (which I totally get and is normal!), but having some concrete actions to focus on can help you regain some sense of agency even in this awful inhuman situation.

I just had some gut tests done, but I am still waiting on the results. Idk if it can help but for the above reasons I tried it. If I get some benefits I will share them here as well.

Well here's what I found about its beneficial properties:

"Royal jelly helps strengthen the body’s natural defenses, fight against fatigue, improve mood, relieve stress and anxiety, help to get through menopause and also helps better defend against winter ailments... The stimulating action of royal jelly has been known for a long time and provides real support in cases of fatigue and stress".

Nothing we can advise will get us out of this permanent state of suffering. The hope is just to say that, each thing good for health added to another, allows us at least to take care of our body. That’s all we can do, it’s very limited but better than nothing... we do as we can... 😔

Edited May 11May 11 by poulette38

Hi luke

Please look into getting your microbiome tested, the reason loads of people improve massively due to diet is because certain gut flora are depleted and replenishing them is a major factor.

Antidepressants work on the brain but for them to work on the actual brain they go through your colon to then interact with the gut flora which then signals the brain on what to release. Mirtazapine depletes lactobacillus it’s known for it. Ive seen the same with Mcas/pssd/cfs/longcovid/pfs/pas, bifidobacterium is key player in mood, Akamansia in another key player in keeping the gut wall in shape it’s a key foundation for preventing leaky gut which is the cause of basically every major illness. It’s leaks out LPs which is a endotoxin. This is why loads of people end up with autoimmune problems. The gut and brain is a two way street but it can’t work when the gut is imbalanced. The gut flora also controls your expression of genes, the nervous system it’s the motherboard of the system. I was waking with severe suicidal thoughts I had a prevotella copri overgrowth of 45 percent when it should be no more then 2 percent. I got it down to 8 percent and Im not as suicidal anymore Im still bad but I believe this is more of a fed up reaction as Im still suffering. Everything gets depleted the b vitamins need to work in harmony to process neurotransmitters and they are absorbed through the gut flora. From all the research I have done i don’t believe waiting fix’s everyone as the cascade of events what happen from the dysfunction can be long lasting. I took a probiotic called Megaspore which is prompted to fix the gut wall it’s works by increasing key specials and crowding out/killing overgrown and bad bacteria it causes die of which is known as a herxheimer reaction and it’s pretty much the same as what all of us face.

Edited May 11May 11 by Richie

9 minutes ago, Richie said:

Please look into getting your microbiome tested, the reason loads of people improve massively due to diet is because certain gut flora are depleted and replenishing them is a major factor.

Wow! I also got my gut tested recently! Really hope I can take some action from there. Glad to read it helped you!

7 minutes ago, Sophia said:

Wow! I also got my gut tested recently! Really hope I can take some action from there. Glad to read it helped you!

People have the same reaction to antibiotics when they haven’t even taken ads. They get worse taking them while on ads because the gut is so out of balance it once gets shocked again.

On 5/11/2026 at 4:01 PM, Lighty said:

basically if you desire nothing, including even being healthy, you can be happy even when being chronically sick.

i laid my case, it's your choice as you wish.

Let's say I didn't desire to be healthy several years ago- I would still be ill and struggling every day now. It wouldn't have changed anything.

I'm not sure what to do with advice to just be ok with significant suffering. Every time I cope with it ok, that takes huge amounts of energy, there's another day, week, month, year.

On 5/11/2026 at 4:08 PM, Sophia said:

It can also help with regaining some sense of control. I feel in your posts you feel completely powerless and desperate (which I totally get and is normal!), but having some concrete actions to focus on can help you regain some sense of agency even in this awful inhuman situation.

I get that, and it does, however I've been through phases of trying lots of stuff and when absolutely nothing works and more years go by it amplifies that feeling. I'm improving slowly over time, I'm trying quite hard to hold onto that.

On 5/11/2026 at 4:08 PM, Sophia said:

I just had some gut tests done, but I am still waiting on the results. Idk if it can help but for the above reasons I tried it. If I get some benefits I will share them here as well.

I should probably get tested for this, yeah.

On 5/11/2026 at 4:27 PM, poulette38 said:

Nothing we can advise will get us out of this permanent state of suffering. The hope is just to say that, each thing good for health added to another, allows us at least to take care of our body. That’s all we can do, it’s very limited but better than nothing... we do as we can... 😔

It also looks like it can lower histamine levels, so I'll look into it further.

On 5/11/2026 at 6:23 PM, Richie said:

Please look into getting your microbiome tested, the reason loads of people improve massively due to diet is because certain gut flora are depleted and replenishing them is a major factor.

I will, but also keep in mind the following:

• Plenty of people have had tests, made dietary changes and had no change as a result

• I have not been ok, with waves, that I can then identify a specific food trigger for, and then cut it out and have no waves, as you have.

• I have tried various food eliminations over the years, all to 0 effect

On 5/11/2026 at 6:23 PM, Richie said:

leaky gut which is the cause of basically every major illness.

Do you have scientific evidence to support every major illness being caused by leaky gut? This seems totally inaccurate.

On 5/11/2026 at 6:23 PM, Richie said:

From all the research I have done i don’t believe waiting fix’s everyone as the cascade of events what happen from the dysfunction can be long lasting.

Sure, but you're still taking psychiatric medications and can counter their active side effects, and without doing anything at all were having windows.

I'll look into getting tested.

4 minutes ago, Luke said:

Let's say I didn't desire to be healthy several years ago- I would still be ill and struggling every day now. It wouldn't have changed anything.

suffering is a choice tho, yeah it is hardship, yeah you would struggle, but the moment you disconnect from desires and tune in peacefulness, you stop suffering mostly.

I also struggle many days, but I don't attach myself to it.

Most people do a series of unconscious decisions that lead to suffering, you keep engaging with thoughts that cause suffering.

You will understand it more the more you meditate, you don't have to engage in negative thoughts and mindset loops that keep you suffering, you can be the happiest person in the world and still be sick.

Even if the emotions are right, they are meaningless as they only cause you suffering.

I'm mostly house bound and can't function in a job and have a lot of days where my body is super weak, and im still happy and fulfilled.

The past doesn't exist, The future doesn't exist, our thoughts are like a monkey that does random things, but we unconsciously choose to believe anything the monkey in our brain says and engage with it, instead of doubting the monkeys sayings, and that's how most people are enslaved to their random thoughts.

The power of now is a good book that repeats itself but has a good message, but you have to tune with it to understand, we are afraid to give up on what we think is right, but it's such a freeing thing.

The choice is yours ♥️🙏

Edited May 13May 13 by Lighty

I would even add, if you weren't injured, you would have suffered from thoughts of stuff regarding work or relationship or family or what not, there is always suffering, but you can use the suffering to learn a good lesson, or you can just suffer and the universe will keep making you suffer as there are things you do not learn, it's like if you keep touching the stove and keep getting burned, but you keep doing it over and over, you will continue to get hurt.

@Lighty I was also significantly disabled and housebound for years, and have been very ill. Now, I am a step above that, but still constantly ill whilst forcing myself to somewhat function through it.

Most days are a difficult chore where I have to do at least some things that are usually very hard. When I get through it, there's tomorrow.

25 minutes ago, Lighty said:

I would even add, if you weren't injured, you would have suffered from thoughts of stuff regarding work or relationship or family or what not, there is always suffering, but you can use the suffering to learn a good lesson, or you can just suffer and the universe will keep making you suffer as there are things you do not learn, it's like if you keep touching the stove and keep getting burned, but you keep doing it over and over, you will continue to get hurt.

So, I'm repeating my suffering by continuing to do the same thing over and over. If only I could not keep forcing myself to live through being ill, I wouldn't keep suffering from illness?

I get what you're saying but comparing relationships and family to this is just too far. Those things even still exist. I have relatives who have died whose last years of their lives I missed because I was too sick and disabled.

35 minutes ago, Lighty said:

the moment you disconnect from desires and tune in peacefulness, you stop suffering mostly.

Is that true? I will still drag myself out of bed, with extreme difficulty, feeling very sick in the morning. I will likely also wake in the night feeling various symptoms. I will also then have a long, difficult day tomorrow. I can accept it, but it's still happening and it's still going to be terrible.

1 minute ago, Luke said:

I wouldn't keep suffering from illness?

you would struggle and have hardship with illness, but you won't suffer as in your soul, i will separate those 2 things for clarification.

2 minutes ago, Luke said:

Is that true? I will still drag myself out of bed, with extreme difficulty, feeling very sick in the morning.

yeah, i also have symptoms and what not.

3 minutes ago, Luke said:

I will also then have a long, difficult day tomorrow. I can accept it, but it's still happening and it's still going to be terrible.

sure it might be difficult, but the moment you live out now a moment that doesn't exist now and you worry about it and groan and say 'oh it's gonna be so much hard and full of suffering' You are creating suffering from purely your thoughts and living out a moment that might not even happen !

I would say start with meditating, it will give you more clarity.

The night before last one I had very severe body pain that was tough, I just dealt through it, and once it's over, it is over, i don't cry for hours or days about how the pain was so bad and live out the bad moments in my brain when it's already over, I accept it when it happens, Just deal with it in a mindful objective view and once it gets less bad, I just continue on and also accept the more mild pain as it became less bad.

@Luke I have homework for you, I want you to start practicing breathing properly and meditating, I have explained enough thoughts and now you need to start practicing, meditations will put you in a more mindful state (it won't be easy at first but it gets easy as you do it more), do at least 5 minutes per day and work yourself up to 10-15 as it gets easier, first practice breathing properly before going on a full meditation.

Obviously you don't have to do this and its your own choice, but at this point talking more won't benefit you and you need to do something practical to understand more.

Edited May 13May 13 by Lighty

8 minutes ago, Lighty said:

The night before last one I had very severe body pain that was tough, I just dealt through it, and once it's over, it is over,

The problem is that my issues do not go away and are not over.

I deal through it, and I just have to keep dealing.

1 minute ago, Lighty said:

@Luke I have homework for you, I want you to start practicing breathing properly and meditating, I have explained enough thoughts and now you need to start practicing, meditations will put you in a more mindful state (it won't be easy but it gets easy as you do it more), do at least 5 minutes per day and work yourself up to 10-15 as it gets easier, first practice breathing properly before going on a full meditation.

Obviously you don't have to do this and its your own choice, but at this point talking more won't benefit you and you need to do something practical to understand more.

Do you mean find and choose a breathing exercise?

1 minute ago, Luke said:

Do you mean find and choose a breathing exercise?

practice breathing properly, 5 seconds in, 5 seconds out (full seconds), and breathing through your belly and not chest, put a hand on your belly to feel your breath going to your belly.

you can also use guided meditations on youtube if you find that easier once you learn how to breath, but ultimate goal should be meditating for 10-15 minutes in silence, focusing on your breath as you meditate.

Edited May 13May 13 by Lighty

15 minutes ago, Luke said:

The problem is that my issues do not go away and are not over.

I deal through it, and I just have to keep dealing.

And I have those too.

@Richie another thing to add is that whenever any kind of independent science is done on microbiome tests, the variability is huge:

At-home microbiome tests reveal dramatically different results | Scientific American

Not only can your results vary from time of day, day to day etc, but the same sample sent to the same provider 3 times gets different answers every time.

You were having good days even before reinstatement, you've been up and down since reinstatement. Both of these events happened months ago. There's not enough evidence at all to indicate that dietary changes are the cause of these fluctuations when fluctuating symptoms are an absolutely classic outcome of the drug changes you've been through.

@Lighty Ok, I will do breathing exercises for 5 minutes. Please note that I tried plenty of things of this nature in the first year of withdrawal, none were effective, and here I am years later.

2 hours ago, Luke said:

I get that, and it does, however I've been through phases of trying lots of stuff and when absolutely nothing works and more years go by it amplifies that feeling. I'm improving slowly over time, I'm trying quite hard to hold onto that.

I get it… I feel sorry for you. Wish there was something concrete you could do to make your pain go away.

I went to the practice of a Dutch holistic doctor with a PhD in gut health so I had a good feeling about it (she combines western health / research with more progressive theories).

The gut is 2nd brain and there is a huge interplay between the two. So who knows!

If I get any benefits from this trajectory I will let you know!

54 minutes ago, Luke said:

Ok, I will do breathing exercises for 5 minutes. Please note that I tried plenty of things of this nature in the first year of withdrawal, none were effective, and here I am years later.

don't get me wrong, it won't cure you, it will work on your spirit, and it takes some time, i meant first learn how to breath and then start meditating with eyes closed after you learn how to breath properly, and when you get comfortable meditating for 5 minutes, you up it to 10-15 minutes, it's all in my topic, if you have any questions feel free to reach out.

I think what @Lighty means is that if a situation is not going to change instantly… there are only two choices for your mind.

1. Accept it. Accepting does not mean being okay with it or liking it, or not wishing things to be different, but it means you accept that this currently the situation that you are in.

2. Fighting and resisting it. Meaning you choose (subconsciously or consciously) to not accept the situation and fighting it with your mind constantly.

There is no right or wrong, but if you are in path 2, you suffer even more, namely both physically from this withdrawal + mentally from resisting it and the added negativity it brings.

I find myself switching constantly between 1 and 2. One day I accept it and don’t expect anything from my body or future. Other days I am desperate, looking for reassurance, reading forums all day, searching solutions, hating myself, negative thoughts etc.

Thing is… you will suffer physically.. But how can you make that situation so comfortable as possible for yourself?

My therapist told me about chronic pain patients who only find some sort of relief from mindfullnes. By being mindful and choosing your reaction, you can also regain that sense of agency and control I talked about before.

Is it unfair you have to deal with this, yes. Would you like things to be different, oh yeah 100%. Is it easy talking for other people who don’t feel exactly what you feel? Also 100%.

But this is unfortunately the unfair situation you are in.. that’s the painful reality… You can only choose actively to accept it, or to keep fighting it.

What might help you.. is listing all your values and try to make actions supporting these values within your current possibilities. With this, you will also feel a sense of control and agency. Not the illness determines what you do or how you behave, you decide for yourself! For instance, if you find relationships important, you can make actions to work on that. By calling friends, showing interests in family members their lives, etc.

I hope this helps. Really try to be helpful and not teach you the lesson or anything, but I genuinely wish you could feel some kindness and compassion for yourself and find some meaning❤️‍🩹🙏

Edited May 13May 13 by Sophia

@Luke just popping in to send my best wishes! so sorry to hear that you still keep having a rough time but im also happy from the amount of progress youve made. as slow as it mustve been, its still an enormous feat and you should be proud of that especially considering you saying that you were significantly disabled and housebound before.