My Story – Severe Nervous System Crash After Long-Term SSRI + Medication Changes (Looking for Recovery Experiences)

Hi everyone,

I’ve been going through the most difficult period of my life over the past few months and wanted to share my full story. I’m hoping to hear from anyone who has experienced something similar and come out the other side.

Quick Timeline (for clarity)

• 10+ years: Stable on Zoloft + regular cannabis use

• July 2025: Rapid taper off Zoloft → anxiety, panic, burnout

• July–Aug 2025: Prescribed Xanax 0.5 mg daily (~1 month)

• Oct 2025: Rehab → diagnosed Bipolar 2 → started Lithium 150 mg, Gabapentin 600 mg, Seroquel 200 mg

• Dec 2025: Rapid Seroquel taper (200 → 25 mg over weeks)

• Jan 2026: Severe crash (akathisia, DPDR, insomnia, terror)

• Early 2026: Restarted Zoloft → still severely unstable

• Tried Zyprexa (1 dose) → extreme reaction

• Psych ward: Lamotrigine 100 mg + Gabapentin + Seroquel reinstated to 200 mg + Zoloft

• Given Geodon injection → extreme akathisia

• Post-discharge: Severe depression, DPDR, anxiety, SI

• Second rehab: Med simplification → now on Seroquel 75 mg, Zoloft 125 mg, clonazepam

Background

I was on Zoloft for over 10 years for anxiety and was relatively stable. I also smoked cannabis regularly since my late teens.

Before all of this, I was:

• High functioning

• In great physical shape

• Doing well financially

• In a 4-year relationship

I felt like a strong, capable version of myself.

Coming Off Zoloft (July 2025)

I decided to come off Zoloft and tapered relatively quickly.

Soon after:

• Anxiety increased significantly

• Panic attacks started

• I hit burnout

During this time, I was prescribed Xanax 0.5 mg daily for about a month. It helped short-term, but looking back, may have added another layer of instability when stopped.

Rehab & Medication Changes (October 2025)

I entered rehab and was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (despite never having clear manic or hypomanic episodes).

I was started on:

• Lithium 150 mg

• Gabapentin 600 mg

• Seroquel 200 mg

I struggled badly with Seroquel—it made me feel flat, disconnected, and unlike myself.

Rapid Seroquel Taper (December 2025)

Because of how I felt, I tapered Seroquel quickly:

200 mg → 100 mg → 50 mg → 25 mg over a few weeks

January 2026 – Severe Crash

After this taper, I experienced a complete breakdown:

• Severe akathisia (inner restlessness / “electrical” feeling)

• Extreme anxiety and panic

• 2–3 hours sleep per night

• Intense DPDR (felt unreal / disconnected)

• Disorganized thinking

• Constant terror I was losing my mind

I told my family I didn’t want to live if this was permanent.

Further Medication Changes

Another psychiatrist:

• Took me off Lithium

• Told me to restart Zoloft

I worked up to 100 mg, but remained in a severe state:

• Deep depression

• Constant anxiety

• Suicidal thoughts

• Felt permanently damaged

I was then told to stop Seroquel and try Zyprexa.

I took one dose and had an extreme reaction—felt like I completely lost my mind.

I called the psychiatrist the next day in a suicidal state and was admitted to a psychiatric ward.

Psych Ward Experience

In the ward:

• Started on Lamotrigine 100 mg

• Kept on Gabapentin (600 mg)

• Reinstated Seroquel up to 200 mg

• Continued Zoloft

On my second night, I was given an injection of Geodon.

This triggered the worst akathisia I’ve ever experienced.

What followed:

• Severe suicidal depression

• Complete dissociation

• Extreme anxiety and terror

• Almost no sleep

• Total loss of connection to myself

ECT was suggested, which I refused.

After Discharge

For the next 3 weeks:

• Extremely disoriented and disorganized

• Severe depression

• Constant anxiety

• Ongoing suicidal thoughts

Second Rehab (Stabilization Attempt)

At a second rehab facility, the psychiatrist simplified everything:

• Tapered off Lamotrigine and Gabapentin (~5 weeks)

• Reduced Seroquel to 75 mg

• Introduced clonazepam (1 mg/day)

Where I Am Now

Current meds:

• Seroquel 75 mg

• Zoloft 125 mg

• Clonazepam 0.5 mg twice daily

Current symptoms:

• “Empty shell” depression

• Severe DPDR (feel unreal / disconnected)

• Constant anxiety

• Strange, unfamiliar thoughts

• Fear I’ve permanently damaged my brain

I feel like an alien in my own body.

I’ve gone from high-performing and driven → to barely functioning.

I’ve also lost my relationship and am currently staying with my mom.

What I’m Doing Now

• Going to the gym regularly

• Trying to maintain structure

• Started ketamine infusion therapy (2 sessions so far)

• Actively reducing obsessive researching (it made everything worse)

My Biggest Fear

That this has permanently changed me.

It feels like:

• My personality is gone

• My emotions are gone

• My sense of self is gone

My Questions

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar:

• Long-term SSRI use (10+ years)

• Cannabis use

• Short-term benzo use

• Rapid Seroquel taper

• Akathisia (especially from something like Geodon)

• Multiple medication changes in a short period

• Severe DPDR, depression, anxiety

Specifically:

• Did the “empty shell” feeling lift?

• Did your mind start to feel like your own again?

• How long did it take?

• What helped you stabilize?

• Any advice on very slow tapering once stable?

What I Think Happened (Open to Correction)

Looking back, it feels like my nervous system became overwhelmed from a combination of:

• Coming off long-term Zoloft too quickly

• Short-term Xanax use during withdrawal

• Introduction of multiple CNS-active medications

• Rapid Seroquel taper

• Repeated medication changes and reinstatements

• Severe akathisia (especially after Geodon injection)

It doesn’t feel like a natural progression of a disorder—it feels like my system became destabilized.

Final Note

I’m not looking for false reassurance—just honest experiences.

Right now, this feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and I’m trying to understand whether people truly recover from this level of nervous system disruption.

Thanks for reading.

Hi @SpiroC

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawl syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here: Guidelines

 

Please make sure your signature is kept up to date with your drug history. This will allow members to see some basic information about your drug history and situation so that they may help you best. Information on how to do this is located in the FAQs section above, but here is a direct link: Update Signature

Once this is done, future posts made by you will have this signature turned on by default. For this reason please keep it clear but condensed as possible.

Please use the format outline here Preferred signature/drug history format

I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

11 hours ago, SpiroC said:

Coming off long-term Zoloft too quickly

This will have put you into WD from Zoloft. WD symptoms are often misdiagnosed as a worsening of your 'mental health' and more drugs are normally added. All you needed to to is reinstate Zoloft, possibly at a slightly lower dose than you were on, and wait to stablise. Unfortunately you were poly drugged instead. Im so sorry, this happens all the time.

11 hours ago, SpiroC said:

1. Short-term Xanax use during withdrawal

2. Introduction of multiple CNS-active medications

3. Rapid Seroquel taper

4. Repeated medication changes and reinstatements

5. Severe akathisia (especially after Geodon injection)

All of these things will have upset your nervous further, once injured/destablised, adding in other psycoactive substances is like fuel on a fire. Just makes it all worse.

11 hours ago, SpiroC said:

Started ketamine infusion therapy (2 sessions so far)

I would not do any more of these treatments, they will likely make you worse. Medications, Supplements and Other Substances in Withdrawal

11 hours ago, SpiroC said:

Where I Am Now

Current meds:

• Seroquel 75 mg

• Zoloft 125 mg

• Clonazepam 0.5 mg twice daily

As requested above, can you update your signature, in the format requested, to include dates and so on. This is a lot of drugs, and some high doses too. It would be good to get a better idea of the timeline of how got you here. If you have been on all three of these for some time, at these doses, the likleyhood is, you should stay put, and hold and wait to stablise. Probably for many months. Getting stable can look like a non-linear pattern of symptoms that come in phases, we call them waves and windows.

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

Tapering needs to be done much more slowly, from a stable platform. We can discuss this in more detail once we have you stable.

Here are some guides you might find useful to read. Sorry to overwhelm, you don't need to read them all now, but there when you are ready.

Tapering Information

Polydrugged? Which drug to taper off first?

Preparing Doses for Tapering - Weighing & DIY Liquids

Reinstating an Antidepressant

Micro Tapering

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

Sleep in WD

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

Chippy

Welcome to the forum.

The "cascade" of prescribing is something we see a lot- people are harmed by poor prescribing/deprescribing of a psychiatric drug, and then providers just keep throwing more and more at the problem, causing more and more harm whilst denying that harms are possible until they're discharged when providers realise they can't do anything else once the "throw enough shit at the wall and see what sticks" approach has not worked.

Usually by that point, the patient is left wondering if they are permanently harmed and are not in a good state.

It's good that you can maintain some structure and go to the gym. It is not uncommon to experience significant physical disability and illness after this many drug changes. I'd recommend taking exercise fairly easy- do it but don't push yourself 110%, just do enough to be active without over stressing yourself (nothing that requires lengthy recovery).

The hope from here would be that you stabilise on the drugs you are currently taking if you do not make any more drug changes, and begin to improve.

Further down the line we can talk next steps but the priority in the short term is stabilisation.

As for your other questions, this is something that others have experienced, and crucially, have recovered from in time. Nothing here is medical advice, but it is based on the collective experience of many other harmed people, the overwhelming majority of whom went on to recover and get their lives back.

Thanks for your comments guys. I really feel so alone in this. I try to be positive but how I’m been hurt over the past 6 months is frightening. Does it ever get better ?

It honestly feels like this has been too much and there is no way. Too much damage has been done don’t you guys think?

Edited April 26Apr 26 by SpiroC

4 hours ago, SpiroC said:

Thanks for your comments guys. I really feel so alone in this. I try to be positive but how I’m been hurt over the past 6 months is frightening. Does it ever get better ?

4 hours ago, SpiroC said:

It honestly feels like this has been too much and there is no way. Too much damage has been done don’t you guys think?

Im so sorry for all your suffering. Things can certainly get better.

* December 2025: Tapered Seroquel from 200mg → 25mg over a few weeks (rapid taper)

* January 2026: Lithium stopped (150mg → 0mg)

* March 2026: Lamotrigine stopped (100mg → 0mg)

* March–April 2026:

* Tapered Seroquel from 200mg → 75mg over ~5 weeks

* Tapered Gabapentin from 600mg → 0mg over ~5 weeks

* Clonazepam: Started at 0.5mg twice daily → now 0.5mg morning only

Thank you for updating your signature.

There are a number of large fast tapers in this list. It is no wonder you are not feeling very well. Again I am sorry what you have been through.

It is very hard to un pick which one of these events will have caused you what damage. It is also hard to advice reinstatement of any of it, as I'm not sure it would help you to be honest. Personally I would just hold all your existing doses where they are for a good few months, maybe 12-18, and let your system find a base line. From there you could look to safely taper off the remaining drugs at a better, slower rate, from a position of stablity.

Chippy

Thanks @Chippy , I am really really struggling here. Have you ever known someone to get through something like this. I feel like I’ve been in 4 months of absolute SI torture.

@SpiroC many of us have gone through it, and are in it still. Sadly it is entirely possible for withdrawal to cause months of depressive SI. Please consider stopping the ketamine infusions. A hallucinogen will not help your brain heal from this, it is like using gasoline to put out a fire. Your mind needs rest from more substances. This is not normal depression, it is chemical. You can heal but it takes time.

1 hour ago, SpiroC said:

Thanks @Chippy , I am really really struggling here. Have you ever known someone to get through something like this. I feel like I’ve been in 4 months of absolute SI torture.

I am so very sorry to hear this. Looking at your footer you have made some very big changes plus the ketamine. If you can now not add anything or make anymore changes to the mix, and let your nervous system have the chance to settle down, this will help immensely. The nervous is amazing and so are our bodies, they can heal, many have been here where you are before. Time is your friend here. Have a good read of the posts I attached above.

Everyone here gets what you are going through. We have all had our own terrible experiences, some still in it, it getting there, but we will all get through the other side and have fulfilling lifes.

Thank you for encouragement guys! Today has been extremely difficult!!

It’s like one month I’m functional and planning for the future and planning a future and the one month later I’m in this. It just dosent make any sense.

6 hours ago, SpiroC said:

Thanks @Chippy , I am really really struggling here. Have you ever known someone to get through something like this. I feel like I’ve been in 4 months of absolute SI torture.

Just adding my two cents. Yes, you will recover. I have yet to see anyone permanently damaged by WD, although the time it takes to recover varies quite a bit. For my own recovery, I can't say I woke up one day and said "I'm cured"! It was a slow, subtle, incremental and uneven process. The "real me" slowly crept back to the surface, although I was a changed person for the better--more empathic and more resilient than I was before. You'll get there!

11 hours ago, SpiroC said:

Thank you for encouragement guys! Today has been extremely difficult!!

It’s like one month I’m functional and planning for the future and planning a future and the one month later I’m in this. It just dosent make any sense.

Im sorry to read.

So this worsening, or your current state has come on in just the last month?

That makes sense as you Cold Turkey'd Gabapentin and cut Serequel by 62.5%. It could of course be delayed WD from the other drugs you have stopped this year. It is quite complex.

Alot of what you are experiencing is likley a nervous system injury. However, it is likley some what you are experiencing, especially as you say you felt ok 1 month ago, that this is WD from stopping Gabapentin too quickly and WD from reducing Seroquel too fast. You could, if you wanted to, look to reinistate a low dose of Gabapentin and see if this offers you some relief. You are on quite alot of other drugs, so I am reluctant to get you to add to that, but I do wonder if say 5% of your orginal dose might help. There is risk, it can make things worse, but we mitigate that risk with a small dose. It would be your choice. Have a read of our RI document. If you want we can help you do this.

Reinstating an Antidepressant

@Chippy A question for everyone. Can a kindled nervous system be unkindled ?

Just now, SpiroC said:

@Chippy A question for everyone. Can a kindled nervous system be unkindled ?

Time is the answer to your question. But yes.

@Chippy , are you saying I’m going to be stuck in this for years ?

25 minutes ago, SpiroC said:

@Chippy , are you saying I’m going to be stuck in this for years ?

I don't see where Chippy said it would take years. I think the message is not to put unnecessary pressure on yourself by setting an artificial timeline. Healing will come, but its unpredictable. Give yourself time and patience. You'll get there.

56 minutes ago, SpiroC said:

@Chippy , are you saying I’m going to be stuck in this for years ?

It's a different journey for everyone in terms of symptoms and time, just keep moving forward bravely ready to face whatever comes and you will recover. tough journey but possible.

Edited April 28Apr 28 by Fullhealing

I second what the others have said about Ketamine. That chemical is a very different beast, it's still being researched and while it makes many people feel better the potential downsides can be disastrous.

8 hours ago, SpiroC said:

@Chippy , are you saying I’m going to be stuck in this for years ?

I can’t predict how long it will take for your body to stabilise. In wd we must learn new skills. The main one is acceptance. Finding peace in the present. Not worrying about the future or the past and just concentrating on the now. We all understand your fear snd frustration. Chippy

@mstimc60 @Fullhealing @Chippy

When I began tapering Seroquel in December, my sleep rapidly deteriorated and I entered a state of extreme mental and physical agitation. I experienced intense inner restlessness, racing/disorganized thoughts, and a sense that my mind was ‘splitting’ or that I was about to lose control. It was accompanied by severe anxiety and dissociation. I also felt like I could not take care of myself , like extreme dysregulation and what I can only understand as a dissolution of self. Literally felt like my mind was splitting and I was going to loose my mind like it was slipping away.

I’ve since spoken to psychiatrists who felt this was not psychosis, but rather a severe withdrawal/destabilization reaction.

I’m trying to understand whether others have experienced a similar state during tapering and how it’s typically understood ?

It was quite literally the scariest thing I’ve ever been through. I never knew a human brain could go to where I went to and that for me has resulted in severe PTSD from the incident.

3 minutes ago, SpiroC said:

I’m trying to understand whether others have experienced a similar state during tapering and how it’s typically understood ?

It was quite literally the scariest thing I’ve ever been through. I never knew a human brain could go to where I went to and that for me has resulted in severe PTSD from the incident.

Unfortunately many have experienced what you descirbe. It is awful, and unbelievable, until you experience it yourself.

@Chippy , thanks for the reply. It almost seems like I’ve been altered for life in some weird way like my brain has changed. I have a deep seated fear of my own mind / insanity..

Is this something that can be reversed or is it something I just have to accept will be a new permanent state ?

10 minutes ago, SpiroC said:

@mstimc60 @Fullhealing @Chippy

When I began tapering Seroquel in December, my sleep rapidly deteriorated and I entered a state of extreme mental and physical agitation. I experienced intense inner restlessness, racing/disorganized thoughts, and a sense that my mind was ‘splitting’ or that I was about to lose control. It was accompanied by severe anxiety and dissociation. I also felt like I could not take care of myself , like extreme dysregulation and what I can only understand as a dissolution of self. Literally felt like my mind was splitting and I was going to loose my mind like it was slipping away.

I’ve since spoken to psychiatrists who felt this was not psychosis, but rather a severe withdrawal/destabilization reaction.

I’m trying to understand whether others have experienced a similar state during tapering and how it’s typically understood ?

It was quite literally the scariest thing I’ve ever been through. I never knew a human brain could go to where I went to and that for me has resulted in severe PTSD from the incident.

Hey @SpiroC sounds like akathisia which is definitely common from all psychiatric drugs but especially from antipsychotics, I experienced that too and it is beyond horrific, and yes, it can definitely create ptsd, I just think about that period and I shudder..

Is it calmed down?

Hi @Fullhealing , yes it is not nearly intense as it once was (January/February) , but I’m still so scared of my mind and how a human brain can go there. It’s life altering stuff!

Is recovery from that state possible like will I ever get my mind back to how it was before? Almost feels like all innocence is lost..

1 minute ago, SpiroC said:

@Chippy , thanks for the reply. It almost seems like I’ve been altered for life in some weird way like my brain has changed. I have a deep seated fear of my own mind / insanity..

Is this something that can be reversed or is it something I just have to accept will be a new permanent state ?

Im sorry. It is awful.

We cannot go backwards only forwards. The brain is amazing and can put things right, time is your friend.