How has my life changed so much in the space of 5 months! Like will I ever be able to enjoy a beer again? A joint again? @mstimc60

Your first step is turning your thinking around. Instead of asking how you got this way, think about ways you get back to the person you want to be. I was caught up in negative thinking as well, until I accepted I had to work on recovery skills. I just got tired of feeling bad all the time and wanted to do something to get back to enjoying my life. It took time and work and it wasn't a nice straight path, but I made it. You can do it too if you give yourself a chance and accept you already have the power to heal.

@mstimc60 what recovery skills are you referring too?

Just now, SpiroC said:

@mstimc60 what recovery skills are you referring too?

Things like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure Response Prevention (ERP). They offer a "toolbox" of coping strategies to help you quiet the negative thoughts and help you disempower them. There are a ton of books and guides out there, but here's just one: CBT Guide.

There is also Claire Weekes' floating method that helps you let thoughts come into your mind and then pass through without effect. There are lots of tools out there to help you get through this!

Edited May 1May 1 by mstimc60

Thanks @mstimc60

@mstimc60 @Chippy @Fullhealing

which of my drugs do you think I should taper off first?

My pleasure! There are tons of resources out there to help you get through your WD and recovery. And you have us!

1 minute ago, SpiroC said:

@mstimc60 @Chippy @Fullhealing

which of my drugs do you think I should taper off first?

I'll defer to the folks with more experience with tapering.

1 hour ago, SpiroC said:

But what I’m not understanding is I’m still on the drugs ? Like how can I be in WD if I’m still on the drugs @Fullhealing @mstimc60 @SarahMc like i dont understand what the fudge is going on ?

As someone in a similar situation to you, I've been using "withdrawal" as shorthand for "I've been through so many quick med changes in the past year that I no longer have any idea what's withdrawal, what's kindling, what's an adverse reaction to a drug, or what's some combination of all three" 😅. The only thing I do know is that I need to stop changing things for a bit and it's going to take a little while for everything to settle down.

9 hours ago, SpiroC said:

But what I’m not understanding is I’m still on the drugs ? Like how can I be in WD if I’m still on the drugs @Fullhealing @mstimc60 @SarahMc like i dont understand what the fudge is going on ?

Wd is. Blanket term. It covers your brain missing the drug which is true wd, but also wd injury which is nothing to do with the brain missing the drug, a nervous system dysfunction/injury. You probably have both.

In true wd your brain can miss the drug and be on it, its misses the higher dose to your current levels.

8 hours ago, SpiroC said:

@mstimc60 @Chippy @Fullhealing

which of my drugs do you think I should taper off first?

Just concentrate on getting stable. Then we can talk about this.

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

dysfunction/injury

@Chippy what is the difference?

1 hour ago, SpiroC said:

@Chippy what is the difference?

It’s just two ways to the think about the same thing.

@Chippy , why did you say then you probably have both

39 minutes ago, SpiroC said:

@Chippy , why did you say then you probably have both

Because you have been through a series of events we would typically recognise as things that would destabilise the nervous system, but also removing drugs too quickly certainly causes wd, or the brain missing the drug.

@Chippy , are there any timelines around stabilizing on these meds ? Is there anything else I could be doing to help myself through this ?

Hi @SpiroC There are lots of things you can do! Cognitive Behavioral Training (CBT) practices give you a ton of coping tools to deal with negative thinking. Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) will help you from acting on your negative feelings. There's also Claire Weekes' approach of floating through your anxiety. Google any of them and you'll see lots of options. And of course we're here to help and support you!

@SpiroC Im sorry to hear about what youre going through. im sending you my support and best wishes! you can get through this!

@mstimc60 inkust feel like I’ve been pollydrugged so much on and off meds changing here and there that there is no hope here. Some days I feel like it couldn’t have got worse even if I tried and it was all done in the space of 4 months

2 minutes ago, SpiroC said:

@mstimc60 inkust feel like I’ve been pollydrugged so much on and off meds changing here and there that there is no hope here. Some days I feel like it couldn’t have got worse even if I tried and it was all done in the space of 4 months

I understand. That's your anxious mind trying to maintain its control on your life. There's an old Chinese proverb (seems all old proverbs are Chinese 🤣) that compares anxiety to a man trapped on a rock in the middle of a raging river. He's wet and cols and miserable, but he hangs onto the rock because he's afraid of being swept away by the river. He doesn't know how deep it is or if the current is too fast, so he clings to the rock. That's how anxiety controls your thinking. I loves indecision and fear, and it wants to keep you on that rock. But to make progress, you have to let go and take a chance. Its scary but its the only way you'll recover. the good news is that once you take that first step, you'll find the river isn't nearly as deep or dangerous as you thought.

@mstimc60 - have you ever seen someone in such a dire situation and come right?

3 minutes ago, SpiroC said:

@mstimc60 - have you ever seen someone in such a dire situation and come right?

Oh heck yeah! There was a member on SA who basically locked himself away and spent all day posting that he'd never get better. He even cussed me out for telling him he could recover if he made an effort! A few months later he posted he was doing much better. I can't tell you how many people swore they'd never get better and they did. I personally got into that pit of despair for several months before I was able to life myself out of it. It just takes that first tiny step. You can do it and we can help!

1 hour ago, SpiroC said:

@Chippy , are there any timelines around stabilizing on these meds ? Is there anything else I could be doing to help myself through this ?

Hey @SpiroC unfortunately everyone is different. As @mstimc60 has said there is a lot you can do with working on mindset and those kinds of coping skills. Acceptance is a big one imo along with distraction. Building a routine that can get you through the day is very important I think.

Looking after yourself with diet and some exercise, plenty of water. Not drinking alcohol or caffeine. Getting out in some fresh air and natural daylight. So good for you. A gentle bit of exercise too.

And more than anything. Time. The body craves time without changes, so it can focus on resetting back to homeostasis. Balance.

I know it’s tough for you atm. You’re very brave and doing a great job in what are difficult circumstances.

20 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

Oh heck yeah! There was a member on SA who basically locked himself away and spent all day posting that he'd never get better. He even cussed me out for telling him he could recover if he made an effort! A few months later he posted he was doing much better. I can't tell you how many people swore they'd never get better and they did. I personally got into that pit of despair for several months before I was able to life myself out of it. It just takes that first tiny step. You can do it and we can help!

@mstimc60 , was this guy Polly drugged and kindled like me ?

6 minutes ago, Chippy said:

this ?

Hey @SpiroC unfortunately everyone is different. As @mstimc60 has said there is a lot you can do with working on mindset and those kinds of coping skills. Acceptance is a big one imo and along with distraction, building a routine that can get you through the day is very important too I think.

Looking after yourself with diet and some exercise, plenty of water. Not drinking alcohol or caffeine. Getting out in some fresh air and natural daylight. So good for you. A gentle bit of exercise too.

And more than anything. Time. The body craves time without changes, so it can focus on resetting back to homeostasis. Balance.

I know it’s tough for you atm. You’re very brave and doing a great job in what are difficult circumstances.

I cant tell you guys, every day is a struggle. Get out of bed is hard. Showering is hard. Going to work is SO hard.