Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.
The Antidepressant Harm and Recovery Forum

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

cherrysquid: Hello, just really need support from those who understand

cherrysquid
cherrysquid
in Introductions & Ongoing Recoveries

Featured Replies

7 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

(ps. I want loads of the animals too lol)

Careful what you wish for 😂

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I am new to this journey and my thoughts are based only on my personal experience with psychiatric drugs. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

Current regimen:

Cymbalta - 90 mg/day

Seroquel - 12.5 mg/day

*holding to stabilize as of Apr 2026

 

History:

Seroquel - up to 50 mg as needed for sleep (generally 6.25-12.5 mg a few times a week, though sometimes more) - 2009 (ish) to present

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day, periodically down to 30 mg/day - May 2014 to May 2025

Clonazepam - up to 1 mg/day as needed - March to May 2025, quick taper off

Zoloft - 150 mg/day - May 2025 to Aug 2025 (quick cross-taper from Cymbalta)

Pristiq - 50 mg/day from Aug 2025 to mid-Oct 2025 (quick cross-taper from Zoloft); 100 mg/day from Oct 2025 to Dec 2025; back down to 50 mg/day from Dec 2025 to Jan 2026

Lyrica - 200 mg/day - Nov 2025 to Jan 2026 (quick taper off from mid-Jan to early Feb 2026 due to severe depressive symptoms)

Cymbalta - 60 mg/day - Jan - March 2026; up to 90 mg/day from March to present

 

    •
    • Haha 1
    • Replies 152
    • Views 2.5k
    • Created
    • Last Reply

    Top Posters In This Topic

    Most Popular Posts

    • cherrysquid
      cherrysquid

      I wasn't going to go into how bad i can get - because I dont want to bring others down. I dont want to appear weak. But I think someone reading this seeing how bad it can get and how much it'll flip (

    • cherrysquid
      cherrysquid

      Oh my lord I did it 😂💪 On the bus my brain was like "that's far enough now let's get off and go home!" But i didn't. I treat me and my daughter to a new book each, took her to the winter gardens, g

    • cherrysquid
      cherrysquid

      Update: Still in a window (?) Was wavy yesterday and last night but it was really mild. Feels like flu symptoms when it's coming on. Took my daughter to the Farm today, I promised myself, wave or no

    Posted Images

    • Author
    Just now, SarahMc said:

    Careful what you wish for 😂

    I regret nothing 😂

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    •
    • Haha 2

    @cherrysquid , this is the most uplifting news and so very happy for you, this is truly exciting. The windows are what I hold onto and carry with me , and know healing is truly happening. Sounds like your in a very good place right now. You are so strong my friend and are doing amazing.

    Dec 23 Citalopram 15mg

    13 March 24 13.5mg

    27 March 24 10mg

    12 March 24 7.5mg

    20 March 24 6mg

    10 Aug 24 5mg

    24 Aug 24 4mg

    2 Sept 24 3.5mg

    11 Sept 24 3mg

    19 Sept 24 2.5mg

    26 Sept 24 2mg

    5 Oct 24 1.5mg

    12 Oct 24 1mg

    17 Oct 24 Jumped off.

    • Like 2
    • Author
    6 hours ago, Bernadette said:

    @cherrysquid , this is the most uplifting news and so very happy for you, this is truly exciting. The windows are what I hold onto and carry with me , and know healing is truly happening. Sounds like your in a very good place right now. You are so strong my friend and are doing amazing.

    Thank you @Bernadette x

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    10 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

    Today I have felt the most like myself since all of this began.

    🎉Love this!

    10 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

    I really hope this is me reaching stabilisation so I can heal and begin tapering.

    Sounds like you are certainly heading in the right direction!

    10 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

    I'm so eternally grateful ive found this forum. You all really are a light in the darkness. Saints. Warriors. Beautiful people. Thank you. The journey ahead is still long but we are taking it one step at a time, together.

    I am glad you found us. Thank you for all the amazing support you offer here, it is very kind of you. We really appreciate it. xxxx

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

     

    If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

    Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

    For US members details here.

    •
    • Like 2
    • Author
    7 minutes ago, Chippy said:

    🎉Love this!

    Sounds like you are certainly heading in the right direction!

    I am glad you found us. Thank you for all the amazing support you offer here, it is very kind of you. We really appreciate it. xxxx

    You're all stuck with me now im afraid 😂

    Thank you Chippy x

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    •
    • Haha 2
    4 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

    You're all stuck with me now im afraid 😂

    Thank you Chippy x

    Happy to hear that, you are most certainly part of this family now. x

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

     

    If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

    Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

    For US members details here.

    •
    • Like 1

    @cherrysquid it's good that you update when you feel better as well.

    I hope that you continue to.

    I'm also very glad to hear that this forum is a place of support for you.

    Nothing I say is medical advice, it is simply my opinion. I am an anonymous person on an internet forum with no relevant qualifications other than being badly harmed by a drug. For all you know, I could be an idiot. You are making your own decisions and part of that is deciding how much to listen to my opinion, if at all.

     

    Perhaps you should consider this post an artistic work of fiction written for entertainment purposes.

    Story from SA: LukeUK: Remeron/Mirtazapine Severe Withdrawal - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants

     

    15mg Remeron/Mirtazapine November starting 2022 (severe physical side effects)

    Attempted to taper off January 2023, ended up having a major breakdown and going up to 30mg, took weeks to stabilise

    1 month taper  to 0mg

    Last dose April 2023

    Severe withdrawal syndrome with many physical symptoms

    Summary: 5 months using Mirtazapine, including 1 month taper ending late April 2023.

    • Like 2
    • Author

    Strange note to add: I want to take my daughter to the winter gardens in town. But I'm scared. I havent been on a bus since this started nor have I been so far away from home on my own since.

    Anticipatory anxiety is quite high.

    This is a battle I hadn't thought of.

    Im scared a wave will hit while I'm on the bus or in town. Or something is telling me I can't do it, I'm very sick even though I'm in a window/waves are lighter mostly.

    Interesting development lol

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    You got this @cherrysquid! I know it's a tricky balance sometimes between pushing ourselves to prove we can actually do things vs not wanting to set off a wave. But I've heard coaches say if your mind tells you there's something you want to do, it's often a sign that the time is right 😊.

    P.s. winter gardens?!? That's gotta be another weird Brit thing 😂

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I am new to this journey and my thoughts are based only on my personal experience with psychiatric drugs. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

    Current regimen:

    Cymbalta - 90 mg/day

    Seroquel - 12.5 mg/day

    *holding to stabilize as of Apr 2026

     

    History:

    Seroquel - up to 50 mg as needed for sleep (generally 6.25-12.5 mg a few times a week, though sometimes more) - 2009 (ish) to present

    Cymbalta - 60 mg/day, periodically down to 30 mg/day - May 2014 to May 2025

    Clonazepam - up to 1 mg/day as needed - March to May 2025, quick taper off

    Zoloft - 150 mg/day - May 2025 to Aug 2025 (quick cross-taper from Cymbalta)

    Pristiq - 50 mg/day from Aug 2025 to mid-Oct 2025 (quick cross-taper from Zoloft); 100 mg/day from Oct 2025 to Dec 2025; back down to 50 mg/day from Dec 2025 to Jan 2026

    Lyrica - 200 mg/day - Nov 2025 to Jan 2026 (quick taper off from mid-Jan to early Feb 2026 due to severe depressive symptoms)

    Cymbalta - 60 mg/day - Jan - March 2026; up to 90 mg/day from March to present

     

    •
    • Like 3
    • Author
    1 minute ago, SarahMc said:

    You got this @cherrysquid! I know it's a tricky balance sometimes between pushing ourselves to prove we can actually do things vs not wanting to set off a wave. But I've heard coaches say if your mind tells you there's something you want to do, it's often a sign that the time is right 😊.

    P.s. winter gardens?!? That's gotta be another weird Brit thing 😂

    Thank you as always @SarahMc . And my brain is ready its the physical symptoms I'm scared of namely the exhaustion ive had for a few weeks now. Im scared im in the middle of town and just can't go on 😂

    And its a tropical garden inside a big greenhouse bc our climate is sh*te lol. It has dinosaurs and dino eggs hidden in the leaves etc and a koi pond so its good for the bairns (kids lmao).

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    1 hour ago, cherrysquid said:

    And my brain is ready its the physical symptoms I'm scared of namely the exhaustion ive had for a few weeks now. Im scared im in the middle of town and just can't go on 😂

    That's totally fair, and you're right that what I said is probably more directed at psych symptoms. Maybe you could make sure you have a backup plan for getting home if you need? But it's absolutely a personal decision of course.

    1 hour ago, cherrysquid said:

    bairns (kids lmao)

    I feel like I'm already learning so much Brit vocabulary, I love it 😂

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I am new to this journey and my thoughts are based only on my personal experience with psychiatric drugs. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

    Current regimen:

    Cymbalta - 90 mg/day

    Seroquel - 12.5 mg/day

    *holding to stabilize as of Apr 2026

     

    History:

    Seroquel - up to 50 mg as needed for sleep (generally 6.25-12.5 mg a few times a week, though sometimes more) - 2009 (ish) to present

    Cymbalta - 60 mg/day, periodically down to 30 mg/day - May 2014 to May 2025

    Clonazepam - up to 1 mg/day as needed - March to May 2025, quick taper off

    Zoloft - 150 mg/day - May 2025 to Aug 2025 (quick cross-taper from Cymbalta)

    Pristiq - 50 mg/day from Aug 2025 to mid-Oct 2025 (quick cross-taper from Zoloft); 100 mg/day from Oct 2025 to Dec 2025; back down to 50 mg/day from Dec 2025 to Jan 2026

    Lyrica - 200 mg/day - Nov 2025 to Jan 2026 (quick taper off from mid-Jan to early Feb 2026 due to severe depressive symptoms)

    Cymbalta - 60 mg/day - Jan - March 2026; up to 90 mg/day from March to present

     

    •
    • Haha 1
    15 hours ago, SarahMc said:

    I feel like I'm already learning so much Brit vocabulary, I love it 😂

    Northern Brit Vocab! Taken me a while to adjust! 😆

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

     

    If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

    Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

    For US members details here.

    •
    • Haha 1
    16 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

    Strange note to add: I want to take my daughter to the winter gardens in town. But I'm scared. I havent been on a bus since this started nor have I been so far away from home on my own since.

    Anticipatory anxiety is quite high.

    This is a battle I hadn't thought of.

    Im scared a wave will hit while I'm on the bus or in town. Or something is telling me I can't do it, I'm very sick even though I'm in a window/waves are lighter mostly.

    Interesting development lol

    Bless you @cherrysquid I think it is a balance like Sarah said. Sometimes its ok to push, but sometimes you need to just allow yourself to not take that on if you are not ready yet. I know there is always the temptation to feel obligated for the kids, however you no.1 priority is your wd journey.

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

     

    If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

    Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

    For US members details here.

    •
    • Like 1
    16 hours ago, SarahMc said:

    That's gotta be another weird Brit thing 😂

    LAMO! 🤣

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

     

    If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

    Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

    For US members details here.

    • Author
    1 hour ago, Chippy said:

    Bless you @cherrysquid I think it is a balance like Sarah said. Sometimes its ok to push, but sometimes you need to just allow yourself to not take that on if you are not ready yet. I know there is always the temptation to feel obligated for the kids, however you no.1 priority is your wd journey.

    Thanks Chippy. I'm setting off soon, im gonna do it. I'll let yous know how it goes 😂

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    •
    • Like 1
    • Author

    Oh my lord I did it 😂💪

    On the bus my brain was like "that's far enough now let's get off and go home!"

    But i didn't. I treat me and my daughter to a new book each, took her to the winter gardens, got us a sandwich from Greggs and got the bus home ❤️ bit of a headache but other than that... nothing. Even if i wake up in a wave tomorrow - worth it. ❤️

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    •
    • Like 5
    2 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

    But i didn't. I treat me and my daughter to a new book each, took her to the winter gardens, got us a sandwich from Greggs and got the bus home ❤️ bit of a headache but other than that... nothing. Even if i wake up in a wave tomorrow - worth it. ❤️

    So glad you had a lovely time with your daughter 💜

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I am new to this journey and my thoughts are based only on my personal experience with psychiatric drugs. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

    Current regimen:

    Cymbalta - 90 mg/day

    Seroquel - 12.5 mg/day

    *holding to stabilize as of Apr 2026

     

    History:

    Seroquel - up to 50 mg as needed for sleep (generally 6.25-12.5 mg a few times a week, though sometimes more) - 2009 (ish) to present

    Cymbalta - 60 mg/day, periodically down to 30 mg/day - May 2014 to May 2025

    Clonazepam - up to 1 mg/day as needed - March to May 2025, quick taper off

    Zoloft - 150 mg/day - May 2025 to Aug 2025 (quick cross-taper from Cymbalta)

    Pristiq - 50 mg/day from Aug 2025 to mid-Oct 2025 (quick cross-taper from Zoloft); 100 mg/day from Oct 2025 to Dec 2025; back down to 50 mg/day from Dec 2025 to Jan 2026

    Lyrica - 200 mg/day - Nov 2025 to Jan 2026 (quick taper off from mid-Jan to early Feb 2026 due to severe depressive symptoms)

    Cymbalta - 60 mg/day - Jan - March 2026; up to 90 mg/day from March to present

     

    •
    • Like 2

    @cherrysquid , I am full of joy for you that you and your daughter had a wonderful time. Our WD mind tells us we can't , but when we dig deep our soles say just watch me, and you did amazing. Yes, definitely part of healing. Just know youare so much stronger . Hugs for now xxx

    Dec 23 Citalopram 15mg

    13 March 24 13.5mg

    27 March 24 10mg

    12 March 24 7.5mg

    20 March 24 6mg

    10 Aug 24 5mg

    24 Aug 24 4mg

    2 Sept 24 3.5mg

    11 Sept 24 3mg

    19 Sept 24 2.5mg

    26 Sept 24 2mg

    5 Oct 24 1.5mg

    12 Oct 24 1mg

    17 Oct 24 Jumped off.

    • Like 2
    14 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

    Oh my lord I did it 😂💪

    On the bus my brain was like "that's far enough now let's get off and go home!"

    But i didn't. I treat me and my daughter to a new book each, took her to the winter gardens, got us a sandwich from Greggs and got the bus home ❤️ bit of a headache but other than that... nothing. Even if i wake up in a wave tomorrow - worth it. ❤️

    Wonderful news, @cherrysquid ! Getting away from home and doing something positive with a loved one is great therapy.

    And I’ve heard Gregg’s has a great sausage roll!

    Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

    Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

    Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

    Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety
     

    I offer advice based on my experience.  Nothing I share is intended to be medical or therapy advice. 

    • Like 2
    • Author
    4 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

    Wonderful news, @cherrysquid ! Getting away from home and doing something positive with a loved one is great therapy.

    And I’ve heard Gregg’s has a great sausage roll!

    Their Mexican chicken sandwich and peach melbas... chefs kiss

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    •
    • Haha 2
    • Author
    4 hours ago, Bernadette said:

    @cherrysquid , I am full of joy for you that you and your daughter had a wonderful time. Our WD mind tells us we can't , but when we dig deep our soles say just watch me, and you did amazing. Yes, definitely part of healing. Just know youare so much stronger . Hugs for now xxx

    Thank you ❤️ i need to put this milestone here for when I forget good days have happened and can happen lol its so cruel that waves make you forget progress so easily.

    Hugs x

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    •
    • Like 1
    20 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

    Oh my lord I did it 😂💪

    Yay! :)

    20 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

    got us a sandwich from Greggs

    😆 Northerners LOVE a Greggs! Always makes me laugh when I fly home to Newcastle and its the first thing I see when I get back into the terminal building, MASSIVE Greggs advertisements EVERYWHERE! xxxx

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

     

    If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

    Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

    For US members details here.

    •
    • Like 1
    • Author
    4 minutes ago, Chippy said:

    Yay! :)

    😆 Northerners LOVE a Greggs! Always makes me laugh when I fly home to Newcastle and its the first thing I see when I get back into the terminal building, MASSIVE Greggs advertisements EVERYWHERE! xxxx

    Its the backbone of our weather-worn culture 😂

    2016 - Sertraline 50mg

    2016 - Sertraline 100mg.

    I didnt know better and rarely took it consistently.

    June 2024 - went down to 75mg

    2025 - Down to 50mg

    2026 - down to 25mg

    April 2026 - hit by withdrawal and kindling

    Reinstated April 2026 - 25mg

    May 27th 2026 - Upped to 50mg

    •
    • Haha 1
    1 minute ago, cherrysquid said:

    Its the backbone of our weather-worn culture 😂

    Gotta find peace and happiness wherever you can take it!

    I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

     

    If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

    Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

    For US members details here.

    •
    • Haha 1

    Create an account or sign in to comment
    Go to topic listing

    Account

    Navigation

    Search

    Search

    Configure browser push notifications
    Chrome (Android)
    1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
    2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
    3. Adjust your preference.
    Chrome (Desktop)
    1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
    2. Select Site settings.
    3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.