32 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

These waves will always try to drag us down, but you are such a fighter and I know you won't let that happen. (I was going to use a swimming metaphor because of the whole wave thing but then I remembered...you can't swim 😂). It doesn't feel like it right now, but you're doing amazingly well to have had such a long, bright window this early on. You will get back there soon, I'm sure of it. Here for you always 💜

Thank you so much @SarahMc I'd honestly be lost without you all. I knew telling you I cant swim would bite me 😂 I can doggy paddle if that counts?? 😂 35 year old woman who doggy paddles.

18 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

35 year old woman who doggy paddles.

Probably better than my controlled drowning that I do!

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Probably better than my controlled drowning that I do!

We can stay in the kiddy pool with our floaties on, Chippy 😂

2 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

We can stay in the kiddy pool with our floaties on, Chippy 😂

Might be best! We will have fun! It will be fine!

@cherrysquid are you out of your wave my dear ? I know the rules here in the Netherlands when it comes to unemployment but not in the uk. I hope you figure something out and I know you will be . You are so nice to me the last couple of days and I thank you for that. Big hugs and kisses from Sarah

1 hour ago, Saar8srl said:

@cherrysquid are you out of your wave my dear ? I know the rules here in the Netherlands when it comes to unemployment but not in the uk. I hope you figure something out and I know you will be . You are so nice to me the last couple of days and I thank you for that. Big hugs and kisses from Sarah

Still in it. But i'm functioning and eating still. And always <3

Sending some love this morning @cherrysquid hope today is a better one, this wave will pass xxx

29 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sending some love this morning @cherrysquid hope today is a better one, this wave will pass xxx

Thank you Chippy 🥺❤️ going to take my daughter swimming today (this pool has no deep end so I am safe 😂) hope i cope well xxx

1 hour ago, cherrysquid said:

Thank you Chippy 🥺❤️ going to take my daughter swimming today (this pool has no deep end so I am safe 😂) hope i cope well xxx

Enjoy! It is great you are getting out and spending some time with your daughter! Try not to drown! 😅 I would put on your rubber ducky ring to be safe, I always have mine in the car just incase I need to dive into a river or more likley a puddle or something and save someone!

4 hours ago, Chippy said:

Enjoy! It is great you are getting out and spending some time with your daughter! Try not to drown! 😅 I would put on your rubber ducky ring to be safe, I always have mine in the car just incase I need to dive into a river or more likley a puddle or something and save someone!

I made it back alive 😂 I tried to swim but I think i just splashed a lot tbh bc the lifeguard looked over in concern 😂

18 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

lifeguard looked over in concern 😂

They are so judgy man!

Still in this wave. I think I've been doing too much as I am heavy with exhaustion and my insulin levels are all over the place (starving, shaking etc out of nowhere).

On the bright side, the headache is finally gone.

I'm so bored with this now. Sick of the anxiety/dread over nothing. Like, what is it, girl? Little Timmy fell down the Well? No, just danger signals for no reason lol.

Plodding on, it will pass. I've noticed eating more protein seems to help with the exhaustion and heaviness. I have let my eating habits slip...oops.

I only allow myself to think of the future in regards to looking forward to things and MY LORD I AM SO EXCITED FOR AUTUMN. Leaves have already started falling here where I am and I am SO READY for the cold, cosy months and it lifts me instantly. My daughter coming home from school all bundled in her big coat with hot chocolate waiting for her omg can not wait until August buggars off lol.

I hope everyone else is doing well, I think of you all pretty often. Sending my love <3 xxx

1 hour ago, cherrysquid said:

I only allow myself to think of the future in regards to looking forward to things and MY LORD I AM SO EXCITED FOR AUTUMN. Leaves have already started falling here where I am and I am SO READY for the cold, cosy months and it lifts me instantly. My daughter coming home from school all bundled in her big coat with hot chocolate waiting for her omg can not wait until August buggars off lol.

What an idyllic vision ☕🍂. I can't believe leaves have already started falling there, we've got at least another month before that happens where I am! Can't wait, you can't even imagine how sweaty I was walking the dogs this morning 😂

You're such a bad***, and you're absolutely right, this will pass. I'm wishing for a long, bright window for you soon so you and Ava can enjoy the fall together 💜.

1 hour ago, SarahMc said:

What an idyllic vision ☕🍂. I can't believe leaves have already started falling there, we've got at least another month before that happens where I am! Can't wait, you can't even imagine how sweaty I was walking the dogs this morning 😂

You're such a bad***, and you're absolutely right, this will pass. I'm wishing for a long, bright window for you soon so you and Ava can enjoy the fall together 💜.

Thanken you :)

I'm so excited for your window too. I want all the pics of things lol

19 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

Still in this wave. I think I've been doing too much as I am heavy with exhaustion and my insulin levels are all over the place (starving, shaking etc out of nowhere).

Sorry to hear @cherrysquid

19 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

On the bright side, the headache is finally gone.

Yay! :)

19 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

I'm so bored with this now. Sick of the anxiety/dread over nothing. Like, what is it, girl? Little Timmy fell down the Well? No, just danger signals for no reason lol.

This is exactly what it is like! I had the most Random bunch of neuroemotions out of nowhere, deep heavy fog moods that would just sit over me and take hours to clear, for no reason! Chemical and dark like unnatural. They all just stopped and I have not had anything like that now for nearly 2 years. Crazy isn't it!

19 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

I only allow myself to think of the future in regards to looking forward to things and MY LORD I AM SO EXCITED FOR AUTUMN. Leaves have already started falling here where I am and I am SO READY for the cold, cosy months and it lifts me instantly. My daughter coming home from school all bundled in her big coat with hot chocolate waiting for her omg can not wait until August buggars off lol.

It is funny, I am always ready for the cooler months too. Such a nice vibe up here in the autumn, cosy too.

19 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

I hope everyone else is doing well, I think of you all pretty often. Sending my love <3 xxx

Love back you xxx We got this!

Sorry to hear

58 minutes ago, Chippy said:

This is exactly what it is like! I had the most Random bunch of neuroemotions out of nowhere, deep heavy fog moods that would just sit over me and take hours to clear, for no reason! Chemical and dark like unnatural.

When im bad, like this morning the SI is so high as well as wanting to just throw my medication away and get it over with. Its so dark and not me at all.

I just keep reminding myself it'll pass and try to allow the thoughts to flow out the other side and take no notice.

7 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

I just keep reminding myself it'll pass and try to allow the thoughts to flow out the other side and take no notice.

This really is key. Learning to float when it's bad is hard, you have this.

I wasn't going to go into how bad i can get - because I dont want to bring others down. I dont want to appear weak. But I think someone reading this seeing how bad it can get and how much it'll flip (when its ready) and how ill be back to my normal self from being in such a dark place would bring hope and be beneficial.

Sometimes I am so ready to leave this vessel. The pain, guilt, anguish, depression its just so much. The hopelessness. The social and family pressures. My limbs are heavy. I believe I'm damaged forever and this is my life now (its not).

I feel isolated because even though I have this wonderful platform no one in my area seems to know of anything like this from SSRIs even the medical professionals.

Before I knew what this was I was very close to running away in the night to end everything, only reason I didn't was my daughter. And im so glad I didnt. Because better days do come. And they do get longer and brighter.

So while my symptoms in a wave have lessened in numbers, they've shifted in type.

In a few weeks or a few days this will lift and ill be my happy normal self again being goofy.

We can do this. You can do this.

These pills are going to be looked at as barbaric in the future. I have to hold on for my beautiful daughter. And you have reasons to hold on to, too.

Sending you love. Light. Healing. X

3 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

Sometimes I am so ready to leave this vessel. The pain, guilt, anguish, depression its just so much. The hopelessness. The social and family pressures. My limbs are heavy. I believe I'm damaged forever and this is my life now (its not).

I feel isolated because even though I have this wonderful platform no one in my area seems to know of anything like this from SSRIs even the medical professionals.

Before I knew what this was I was very close to running away in the night to end everything, only reason I didn't was my daughter. And im so glad I didnt. Because better days do come. And they do get longer and brighter.

Sending love @cherrysquid, you've got this. Those better days are just around the corner 💜

2 hours ago, SarahMc said:

Sending love @cherrysquid, you've got this. Those better days are just around the corner 💜

Im good thank you ❤️ needed to vent. Mornings are pretty intense lol

@cherrysquid Sending some love, vent away! We should never be concerned about sharing the truth of our journeys, as you said, this truth brings comfort to those going through this, to know they are not alone and to have validation of their experience. Better days coming as you know. xxxxx

@cherrysquid im so sorry for you and what you are going through. It’s odd to say but I am happy that you are sharing this with us. It makes me feel not alone in my situation. Off course I don’t want to see others hurt or suffer but sometimes it helps when others also talk about their suffering and symptoms. It makes you feel somehow not along in this ride …

1 hour ago, Saar8srl said:

@cherrysquid im so sorry for you and what you are going through. It’s odd to say but I am happy that you are sharing this with us. It makes me feel not alone in my situation. Off course I don’t want to see others hurt or suffer but sometimes it helps when others also talk about their suffering and symptoms. It makes you feel somehow not along in this ride …

Why i shared it because you are certainly not alone. It can get pretty intense. But as an example, today has been much easier. Not perfect by any means but better than yesterday was. Just gotta take it as it comes.

For me, ive learned I need to drop guilt and feeling like I need to explain myself to family when im too poorly to do much. That's my journey through this.

@cherrysquid i don’t know you but you are my hero in this journey ❤️

On 8/26/2026 at 10:24 AM, cherrysquid said:

Im good thank you ❤️ needed to vent. Mornings are pretty intense lol

@cherrysquid I can definitely relate to the mornings being the toughest when I was tappering. They are changeling and absolutely no fun, but you have shown so much strength and better days are ahead. You are a true fighter. Hope your day is better