Cherrysqid, I have a vacation day today, and with the extreme heat outside, I am of course inside because my system seems to not like the heat lately, yup, just one of those WD I get to experience. My system took a couple hours to settle down but it did settle. I think things ramped up from the auction I went to Saturday, just loud and over 500 people there, so my system got a bit over stimulated. I tend to push myself to see what I can and can't do. I'm kinda like my Dad was, just a bit on the stubborn side. I refuse to let this WD keep me down, I've learned over time when to push past things and when to give myself a break. I see your from the UK, my Mom was there recently in June on vacation with her church group for 10 day's. She's 84 and said she had an amazing time.

5 minutes ago, Bernadette said:

Cherrysqid, I have a vacation day today, and with the extreme heat outside, I am of course inside because my system seems to not like the heat lately, yup, just one of those WD I get to experience. My system took a couple hours to settle down but it did settle. I think things ramped up from the auction I went to Saturday, just loud and over 500 people there, so my system got a bit over stimulated. I tend to push myself to see what I can and can't do. I'm kinda like my Dad was, just a bit on the stubborn side. I refuse to let this WD keep me down, I've learned over time when to push past things and when to give myself a break. I see your from the UK, my Mom was there recently in June on vacation with her church group for 10 day's. She's 84 and said she had an amazing time.

Ah thats great im glad she had a nice time theres some beautiful places here. And I dont tolerate heat well but I was like that before WD anyway 😂 being a pasty white northern lass lol

4 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

Ah thats great im glad she had a nice time theres some beautiful places here. And I dont tolerate heat well but I was like that before WD anyway 😂 being a pasty white northern lass lol

Humor is good Cherrysqid, I myself could use a bit of sun right low it's just a farmer's tan🤣

In a bad crash / wave.

But the only symptoms I seem to have are a headache, body feels like it weighs 1000lbs and the sense of "never going to pass" and "oh my lord im dying"

Which is a huge difference to the amount of symptoms in previous crashes.

Again, for me, its the mum guilt that kills me. I told my daughter I'd take her to the park today and instead ive had to ask my dad to take her for a while. I dont want her to see her mother struggling to muster energy just to put some washing away lol. Ive had talks with her that mammy has a poorly nervous system and it takes a while to get better, that ill be good some days and bad others and we are lucky as some people have less fortunate circumstances.

It will pass. Always does.

Sigh.

20 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

In a bad crash / wave.

But the only symptoms I seem to have are a headache, body feels like it weighs 1000lbs and the sense of "never going to pass" and "oh my lord im dying"

Which is a huge difference to the amount of symptoms in previous crashes.

Again, for me, its the mum guilt that kills me. I told my daughter I'd take her to the park today and instead ive had to ask my dad to take her for a while. I dont want her to see her mother struggling to muster energy just to put some washing away lol. Ive had talks with her that mammy has a poorly nervous system and it takes a while to get better, that ill be good some days and bad others and we are lucky as some people have less fortunate circumstances.

It will pass. Always does.

Sigh.

Im sorry to read @cherrysquid but I am also happy to hear the symptoms are less in this wave. Progress!

Hang on to that and previous windows, this up and down in exhausting but for whatever reason, a necessary part of the healing process!

I hear you on the guilt. I sometimes think of the lost years, my boy will be 13 soon, this last 2 and a bit years has stolen some of the experience of helping and seeing him grow up. I mean I have been here to see it, but it isn't the same as if I had not been injured. But with most things in life we have to accept that they often don't go as we would like and we have to play the hand thats been dealt. I choose to not hide my injury from my Son, I felt it honest and right for him to see what has happened rather than try to shelter him from it. I also think we must try not to feel guilt or shame over all of this, non of it is our fault and we are just doing our best in difficult circumstances.

22 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Im sorry to read @cherrysquid but I am also happy to hear the symptoms are less in this wave. Progress!

Hang on to that and previous windows, this up and down in exhausting but for whatever reason, a necessary part of the healing process!

I hear you on the guilt. I sometimes think of the lost years, my boy will be 13 soon, this last 2 and a bit years has stolen some of the experience of helping and seeing him grow up. I mean I have been here to see it, but it isn't the same as if I had not been injured. But with most things in life we have to accept that they often don't go as we would like and we have to play the hand thats been dealt. I choose to not hide my injury from my Son, I felt it honest and right for him to see what has happened rather than try to shelter him from it. I also think we must try not to feel guilt or shame over all of this, non of it is our fault and we are just doing our best in difficult circumstances.

Thanks @Chippy

My baseline seems to be just feeling so so heavy and get exhausted pretty quickly.

Im going to hope it means all my energy is going into healing 😂

You're right there's nothing we can do about what we've been dealt with. I think a small part of me worries what my family think even though mostly they've been great its not something many people understand unless they've been through it.

Had to turn down a carvery today 😭😂😂

36 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

My baseline seems to be just feeling so so heavy and get exhausted pretty quickly.

Im going to hope it means all my energy is going into healing 😂

I think you are right! Healing is exhausting in of itself!

37 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

You're right there's nothing we can do about what we've been dealt with. I think a small part of me worries what my family think even though mostly they've been great its not something many people understand unless they've been through it.

I know that doubt, I have learned to push it to the back of my mind after a good year of trying to convince them by overselling everytime we spoke. It was exhausting in of itself! I give up now! lol

38 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

Had to turn down a carvery today 😭😂😂

Whattttttt! lol

4 hours ago, Chippy said:

Whattttttt! lol

I know, a Brit turning that down! Worse part is im feeling much better today so probably could have went but the table was already booked 😭 ill make some chicken wraps 😂

Cherrysqid, glad to hear your doing better today. My I ask a question, what is carvey? I'm from Wisconsin, USA, so don't know what that is. I don't have young children, mine are all grown and married, so I can only imagine how challenging it is while going through this recovery process.

You are doing amazing and such a strong Mum for your daughter.

@cherrysquid warm welcome to the site, so good that youve found it! Keep hanging in there. Sending support and wishing you all the best

10 hours ago, Bernadette said:

My I ask a question, what is carvey?

It is a pub restaurant that serves roast meat and roast vegetables in a buffet style. We Brits tend to love it lol

10 hours ago, Bernadette said:

Cherrysqid, glad to hear your doing better today. My I ask a question, what is carvey? I'm from Wisconsin, USA, so don't know what that is. I don't have young children, mine are all grown and married, so I can only imagine how challenging it is while going through this recovery process.

You are doing amazing and such a strong Mum for your daughter.

Sorry @Bernadette it didn't tell me you'd commented or I missed it.

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️

How are you? I hope you are doing well

10 hours ago, Some0n3 said:

@cherrysquid warm welcome to the site, so good that youve found it! Keep hanging in there. Sending support and wishing you all the best

Thank you! 😊❤️

9 hours ago, Chippy said:

It is a pub restaurant that serves roast meat and roast vegetables in a buffet style. We Brits tend to love it lol

So-called because you carve off slices of the large joints of roasted meat.

12 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

Sorry @Bernadette it didn't tell me you'd commented or I missed it.

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️

How are you? I hope you are doing well

Doing well, just the slight cortisol morning's which are just a nusens but they fad once I get going in the morning, and I tend to call it chest quivers, where it seems nerves are a little restless, but that just comes and goes, your normal anoy

13 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

Sorry @Bernadette it didn't tell me you'd commented or I missed it.

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️

How are you? I hope you are doing well

Normal ups and downs but manage well. I tend to give myself quite the pep talks, and encouragement. I some times am my own cheerleader. You go girl!!!😂

Sorry about wording, my smart phone is being kinda stupid. 🤣🤣

8 hours ago, Bernadette said:

Doing well, just the slight cortisol morning's which are just a nusens but they fad once I get going in the morning, and I tend to call it chest quivers, where it seems nerves are a little restless, but that just comes and goes, your normal anoy

Normal ups and downs but manage well. I tend to give myself quite the pep talks, and encouragement. I some times am my own cheerleader. You go girl!!!😂

Glad you're doing well thats great to hear x

I like to put updates here now and again for bad times and good times.

Today I have felt the most like myself since all of this began.

Its not a window where I'm overly energetic or slightly manic. Im just... me again. And its beautiful. Ive missed her so much. And I hope she stays.

My windows aren't super high and my waves arent rock bottom, although uncomfortable my last one seemed to be the lightest one yet and lasted a shorter amount of time.

I really hope this is me reaching stabilisation so I can heal and begin tapering.

Here's hoping 🙏 ❤️

On a side note: I'm so eternally grateful ive found this forum. You all really are a light in the darkness. Saints. Warriors. Beautiful people. Thank you. The journey ahead is still long but we are taking it one step at a time, together.

Wonderful to see you're feeling like the "real you"! You'll be in a great spot to taper when you're ready!

I can even feel myself getting emotional. Ive not been able to cry at all since April except one or two breakdowns which I wouldn't have even called crying just like, dry sobbing lol

Just now, cherrysquid said:

I can even feel myself getting emotional. Ive not been able to cry at all since April except one or two breakdowns which I wouldn't have even called crying just like, dry sobbing lol

I cry every time the Cubs lose!😅

5 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

I like to put updates here now and again for bad times and good times.

Today I have felt the most like myself since all of this began.

Its not a window where I'm overly energetic or slightly manic. Im just... me again. And its beautiful. Ive missed her so much. And I hope she stays.

My windows aren't super high and my waves arent rock bottom, although uncomfortable my last one seemed to be the lightest one yet and lasted a shorter amount of time.

I really hope this is me reaching stabilisation so I can heal and begin tapering.

Here's hoping 🙏 ❤️

What a beautiful update, I’m so happy for you 💜. Looking forward to getting there myself one of these days!

9 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

I cry every time the Cubs lose!😅

Normally before this I cried at the movie the snowman, and even the simpsons make me cry 😂

8 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

What a beautiful update, I’m so happy for you 💜. Looking forward to getting there myself one of these days!

Im not counting my eggs before they hatch i know im still due bumps, but knowing my brain certainly can get me back is great.

And you will. And we'll send each other those pics of things we get up to 😂 (ps. I want loads of the animals too lol)