Thank you @namastejen1

It's somewhat hyperbolic at this point. I mostly follow my "instinct" in tapering to put it that way.

I have faith, am Catholic (but lately also leaning towards Eastern Orthodox). But sadly, as I went into withdrawal I feel like I've been cut away from everything - the world, myself and God.

Thank you @Tracey

 

I also feel that I have situational depression on top of the chemical one and that is making things worse.

 

I have my boyfriend as the main support. Family, some friends... But I don't see them all too often and I think that "isolation" affects me. I am usually an introvert but since this withdrawal started I almost constantly need people around be (but also don't want to be clingy).

Update (cca 4 and a half months in)

 

I've been in a window since Sunday. It's amazing how normal I feel these last few days. WD almost feels like a distant flashback or a bad dream. (It's a bit of a dangerous game forgetting you're in WD, especially when you're suddenly hit by derealisation. 😵‍💫)
Physical symptoms are still here, but mentally I am so close to my usual self. I am particularly enjoying music in this window, which wasn't really possible most days since it all started. (Not all music! Some music still disturbs me.) I've been listening to a lot of music, singing to it and even did a bit of a dance at home. So shocking!

 

I assume this window will end very soon as my period is approaching. Maybe a very bad wave is waiting for me or it will seem worse after feeling so good after a long time.
But it's good to know windows exist. I had to write it down while still in a window, as I tend to forget anything good ever existed when I'm in a wave. 

 

(I wrote this yesterday evening. Today is another gloomy day and I feel like I'm entering a wave. Weather affects me so much.)

4 minutes ago, Marina said:

Update (cca 4 and a half months in)

 

I've been in a window since Sunday. It's amazing how normal I feel these last few days. WD almost feels like a distant flashback or a bad dream. (It's a bit of a dangerous game forgetting you're in WD, especially when you're suddenly hit by derealisation. 😵‍💫)
Physical symptoms are still here, but mentally I am so close to my usual self. I am particularly enjoying music in this window, which wasn't really possible most days since it all started. (Not all music! Some music still disturbs me.) I've been listening to a lot of music, singing to it and even did a bit of a dance at home. So shocking!

 

I assume this window will end very soon as my period is approaching. Maybe a very bad wave is waiting for me or it will seem worse after feeling so good after a long time.
But it's good to know windows exist. I had to write it down while still in a window, as I tend to forget anything good ever existed when I'm in a wave. 

 

(I wrote this yesterday evening. Today is another gloomy day and I feel like I'm entering a wave. Weather affects me so much.)

Hey Marina

 

Thank you for the update.

 

This is great news! So happy you had a nice window. Look at all you could do whilst in it! It night and day isn't it. 🙂 

 

Its great to take note as you say, then when you're not having such a good day you can remember that better days are there.

 

Im sorry to also read you are not having such a good day today, and yes many of us are affected by the grey winter days. More light is coming now. Spring will be here before we know it.

 

Chippy

Thank you, Chippy 🙂

 

The day just started. We'll see how it goes, but I am definitely feeling the decrease in mood. I am going to a harp and flute concert tonight, so I have something to look forward to.

4 minutes ago, Marina said:

Thank you, Chippy 🙂

 

The day just started. We'll see how it goes, but I am definitely feeling the decrease in mood. I am going to a harp and flute concert tonight, so I have something to look forward to.

That's it Marina, early yet.

 

That's good. Sometime nice to look forward to 🙂 

@MarinaHi Marina. I thought I would stop by and say hello. I noticed that you are using liquid Zoloft. That is how I had to do it as I got down to the small numbers. It worked well for me and I hope it works as well for you.  Warm wishes. R.

Thank you @RachelSusan

I only wish I knew local pharmacies made it and switched to liquid sooner, maybe I would have avoided the "break" in my taper that happened with compounded capsules and which started my whole withdrawal fun. 🥲

On 1/19/2026 at 2:58 AM, Marina said:

Thank you @namastejen1

It's somewhat hyperbolic at this point. I mostly follow my "instinct" in tapering to put it that way.

I have faith, am Catholic (but lately also leaning towards Eastern Orthodox). But sadly, as I went into withdrawal I feel like I've been cut away from everything - the world, myself and God.

I can understand that...the body, mind, heart, and spirit can get disconnected when we are going through illness or this terrible withdrawal/Rx drugged process. Press on with prayer or mass--whatever has helped in the past. I like getting Communion at mass--I typically feel better afterwards if I focus on the process and not just go up in line, rotely take it, and sit down again. Those 2 are very close siblings--so you're not making too much of a switch there and can find a lot of overlap.

 

I have been off of the site for a few days with a lot going on with the Monday being a holiday, busy weekend prior, and work. So I apologize if I am repeating what others have said, but I would do my best to remain consistent with the taper--1 month, hyperbolic. Our body, and brain in particular, like homeostasis and regularity especially with mind-altering drugs. I know you will make the right decision for yourself though. Hopefully you are having a great day or it will become better. Take care.

Thank you @namastejen1

 

I go to mass but I don't take communion. I can't go to confession because I live in a relationship outside of marriage. 😔

 

I would say I have been feeling a bit better lately. I'll probably start tapering again tomorrow but I'll listen to my body. Nothing too much, nothing too fast.

Well, I would still go to Communion--I know that is not the way, but you are invited to a "party" and should partake of it--a dear priest said that many years ago when I was kid living in Chicago. Maybe our priests were a bit liberal but they wanted everyone to partake of the life giving part of Communion. It's up to you. Must leave the site for now for work. Message with you here later.

@namastejen1

Maybe a kid has much less sins than me. 😅 I have commited so many sins since my last confession. It has been close to 20 years, maybe even more... I wouldn't feel right taking communion.

 

No worries. Have a nice day. 😊

@Marina In reply to your comment about wishing you had known about liquid sooner, you and me both. I actually wish I had known a lot of things sooner when it comes to Zoloft. I was glad to read in your last post that you are feeling a bit better. One thing I learned while tapering was that I had to wait much longer between cuts than was even recommended. It sounds like you are really listening to your body, which is a good way to guide yourself through this.

@RachelSusan Oh, yes... If I had known what hell awaits me because of these drugs, I would never had touched them. But they all said it was "mild", "safe" and no problem to come off of.

 

My window has closed and "fun" begins again, sadly...

@Marina Ouch. I was just looking at your list of symptoms. They are all bad. I kept a list as well.

@RachelSusan Can you give a current update on your recovery/symptoms?

On 1/21/2026 at 10:14 AM, Marina said:

@namastejen1

Maybe a kid has much less sins than me. 😅 I have commited so many sins since my last confession. It has been close to 20 years, maybe even more... I wouldn't feel right taking communion.

 

No worries. Have a nice day. 😊

Well, do what you think is best...I feel our priests are super compassionate, maybe I have been blessed recently with nonjudgmental ones. There is one like this that I keep good boundaries around, though, who was reassigned with the shortage. I think you would feel better just letting it all out in a face to face scenario. I am only encouraging not pushing--at least that is my intention here. We all commit sins or do wrongs--none of us is perfect. It was 30 years since I had gone to confession when I finally went back. I have a few more bigger sins to discuss but like going to a neighboring church or the monks that are in a religious order away from the diocesan churches. Too much singing and chatting with our current priest that they know my voice, so no anonymity there!

 

But hopefully you are faring well. I know it takes longer than what we would like through this circus of Rx. We will both get there to 0mg soon. Just give it the necessary time you need. I hope by the end of 2027 to be free of this Mirt.

 

Have a great evening and stay warm. It feels -14 F over here right now. Hopefully it's nicer by you!

@namastejen1 Thank you ❤️

 

I was thinking about just talking to a priest, first and foremost... Perhaps, about this WD situation if nothing else...

 

I am moving towards 0,1mg in my taper. Just tired of it...

 

It's not that cold here but it's terribly gloomy. Just clouds every single day. Everything is gray. Which is definitely not helping me in this situation. As if it's making my derealization even worse, just feeling stuck in a scary grey day all the time. 

It may help to talk things out--whatever feels best to you to bring up. I had a priest do a blessing over me, he was one to do this with a lot of people. He is filled different charismatic gifts of the Holy Spirit and is really someone who wants to share them in a very humble way. So perhaps a priest can do prayers with you. Some do them in different ways, of course.

Adoration has been helpful for me to just sit with Jesus in the form of His Eucharistic body. The silence, stillness, and sacredness is a gift.

A very new thing I enjoy is the liturgy of the hours; it has sung or read aloud songs (hymns and psalms), prayers, and other Scripture passages for free on the divine office website. Do whatever prayer when you can sort of thing, not a pressured/have to do it. The Compline or night time prayers are so nice to end the day with. Many start with those.

I am not sure where you are at now that you are dropping to 0.1mg. Please go slow for your brain and body. Time will go by anyway, best to be comfortable in this whole process by going low and slow with our drop downs--hyperbolic seems to be the way to go. 

Be well my friend.

Hi Marina🙋🏻‍♀️how have you been? I wanted to check in on you. It’s nearly morning/time to wake up by you, where it’s almost bedtime for me. So I hope you have a nice Sunday. 😇

Hi @Marina,

 

I am wondering how you are doing? 

 

Hoping your are not in too much struggle. 💛

Hi @Tracey

Thank you for asking. ❤️ I've been struggling a lot. January was the worst month so far... I might post an update soon, but I'll see... I hope you are doing better. ❤️

1 hour ago, Marina said:

Hi @Tracey

Thank you for asking. ❤️ I've been struggling a lot. January was the worst month so far... I might post an update soon, but I'll see... I hope you are doing better. ❤️

Hey Marina

 

Im really sorry to read this. Im sorry I meant to message you and see how you were. Yes do post an update.

 

We are all thinking of you and I miss your funny/positive posts.

 

Chippy

Thank you so much @Chippy ❤️

16 hours ago, Marina said:

Hi @Tracey

Thank you for asking. ❤️ I've been struggling a lot. January was the worst month so far... I might post an update soon, but I'll see... I hope you are doing better. ❤️

I am with you in spirit and hope you start to settle very soon. Do what you need to do for your own self. I understand how hard it can be to even read on a computer, let alone do an update. We will all be here when you are ready. 

Be kind and gentle on yourself, this is no easy process. 🩷