@Lighty I am trying, really, I am. Even after my complaining/reply to you, I gave it a try. And it works for a moment, until WD mind just does an override.

I am happy you are able to do this and I hope, in time, I get there too. 🙏🏻❤️ Thank you!

5 minutes ago, Marina said:

@Lighty I am trying, really, I am. Even after my complaining/reply to you, I gave it a try. And it works for a moment, until WD mind just does an override.

I am happy you are able to do this and I hope, in time, I get there too. 🙏🏻❤️ Thank you!

even with it taking over you can just surrender to it and let the WD do as it wants, instead of adding secondary bad emotions, and ride the bad symptoms, hopefully it makes sense.

@Lighty I am working on it... 😕

27 minutes ago, Marina said:

@Lighty I am trying, really, I am. Even after my complaining/reply to you, I gave it a try. And it works for a moment, until WD mind just does an override.

I am happy you are able to do this and I hope, in time, I get there too. 🙏🏻❤️ Thank you!

It's perfectly fine @Marina don't pressure yourself, there will be moments when no matter what you pull out of the toolbox it won't work.. On days like these, the zen flies out the window, there is no peace, no quiet, only terror and fear and only time is a factor.

We will still continue to try, of course, but without pressure, there is no unnecessary need to add fuel to the 🔥 you are coping the best you can xxx

Edited May 25May 25 by Fullhealing

Thank you @Fullhealing 🥺❤️

This wave is absolutely brutal. It feels like I've passed a new threshold with the level of DP/DR. All symptoms are in their full force. Feels a lot like first months/acute. Sleep is worse and I keep waking up earlier and earlier and then suffering painful tingling in my hands/fingers and also like cold water running through my whole body. (That last thing doesn't feel too bad, really. I feel relief when it happens as it is quite warm/hot.) I usually have a meltdown around lunch and that lasts until the evening. I can't calm myself, I cry the whole afternoon catastrophazing, I feel such restlessness in my body and mind (not sure if akathisia or not) and I also feel like going into panic mode several times during the afternoon. Tinnitus is pretty persistent and annoying as well. It's driving me nuts. My appetite is lower.

I feel like all my symptoms are exacerbated by the sudden rise in temperatures and our AC being disconnected. I generally don't handle heat well. They did, finally, connect our AC yesterday late afternoon and that brings some relief. But I fear how I'll survive the summer. It's going to be incredibly hard in this state.

I have no idea if I'm getting better or worse looking at the whole picture. My windows are getting longer and better, but my waves are also getting worse and more instense. I usually read people saying they are getting longer and better windows but their waves getting shorter and milder. So, I don't know where I stand as both things are equally intensifying. I'm scared. I'm scared my whole summer will be just one absolutely brutal wave. ☹️

I am enduring, even though each day I say I can't do this anymore. I am re-reading KenA's and Ten0275's threads (from the old forum) constantly these days and they give me hope (at least for a short while).

I haven't had much strength to comment on others' threads these last days but I hope all of you are doing better. I wish speedy healing for all of us. 🙏🏻❤️

32 minutes ago, Marina said:

This wave is absolutely brutal. It feels like I've passed a new threshold with the level of DP/DR. All symptoms are in their full force.

I'm so sorry you're suffering so much @Marina. It must be particularly upsetting when you were feeling so close to the end of this whole process. I know heat can increase stress a lot, so I'm really glad you got your AC connected. I hope you're still able to spend some time outside, maybe in the evening when it's cooler?

Whether or not you think you're getting better, every day brings you closer to recovery. Keep doing what you need to do to get through the day, and at some point when you least expect it you'll feel that next window. I hope it comes for you soon. Thinking of you and sending healing thoughts your way 💜

Thank you @SarahMc ❤️

I usually do my morning walk and I did it this morning. It wasn't too hot outside so it was okay. Maybe that brought me back to reality a bit. I am also trying to read a bit even though it's hard, but I need distractions and things to keep my mind off WD fatalism. It does feel like I'm desperately holding the door so the monsters won't get in. But I hope in time it won't feel like that.

Thank you, Sarah. Sending back the same wishes for you. 🤗❤️

Edited June 2Jun 2 by Marina

4 hours ago, Marina said:

This wave is absolutely brutal. It feels like I've passed a new threshold with the level of DP/DR. All symptoms are in their full force. Feels a lot like first months/acute. Sleep is worse and I keep waking up earlier and earlier and then suffering painful tingling in my hands/fingers and also like cold water running through my whole body. (That last thing doesn't feel too bad, really. I feel relief when it happens as it is quite warm/hot.) I usually have a meltdown around lunch and that lasts until the evening. I can't calm myself, I cry the whole afternoon catastrophazing, I feel such restlessness in my body and mind (not sure if akathisia or not) and I also feel like going into panic mode several times during the afternoon. Tinnitus is pretty persistent and annoying as well. It's driving me nuts. My appetite is lower.

I feel like all my symptoms are exacerbated by the sudden rise in temperatures and our AC being disconnected. I generally don't handle heat well. They did, finally, connect our AC yesterday late afternoon and that brings some relief. But I fear how I'll survive the summer. It's going to be incredibly hard in this state.

I have no idea if I'm getting better or worse looking at the whole picture. My windows are getting longer and better, but my waves are also getting worse and more instense. I usually read people saying they are getting longer and better windows but their waves getting shorter and milder. So, I don't know where I stand as both things are equally intensifying. I'm scared. I'm scared my whole summer will be just one absolutely brutal wave. ☹️

I am enduring, even though each day I say I can't do this anymore. I am re-reading KenA's and Ten0275's threads (from the old forum) constantly these days and they give me hope (at least for a short while).

I haven't had much strength to comment on others' threads these last days but I hope all of you are doing better. I wish speedy healing for all of us. 🙏🏻❤️

So very sorry for the brutal long waves @Marina although very glad for the long bright windows that give you strength to continue, it's very hard to bear especially when you're so close to zero but this pattern is typical and can happen at any stage so don't let doubt creep in, I know it's hard not to but your system is working hard and continues to regulate itself constantly.

You're very strong, remember that, you've survived this far and you will surely continue to do so just hang in there, the positive will outweigh the negative, it's just a matter of time.

Sending much healing, strength and peace your way 🩷

Thank you @Fullhealing 🥺🙏🏻❤️

I am definitely postponing my jump off until I feel some solid ground under my feet.

Thank you again. ❤️ I wish the same for you. 🤗

5 hours ago, Marina said:

This wave is absolutely brutal. It feels like I've passed a new threshold with the level of DP/DR. All symptoms are in their full force. Feels a lot like first months/acute. Sleep is worse and I keep waking up earlier and earlier and then suffering painful tingling in my hands/fingers and also like cold water running through my whole body. (That last thing doesn't feel too bad, really. I feel relief when it happens as it is quite warm/hot.) I usually have a meltdown around lunch and that lasts until the evening. I can't calm myself, I cry the whole afternoon catastrophazing, I feel such restlessness in my body and mind (not sure if akathisia or not) and I also feel like going into panic mode several times during the afternoon. Tinnitus is pretty persistent and annoying as well. It's driving me nuts. My appetite is lower.

I feel like all my symptoms are exacerbated by the sudden rise in temperatures and our AC being disconnected. I generally don't handle heat well. They did, finally, connect our AC yesterday late afternoon and that brings some relief. But I fear how I'll survive the summer. It's going to be incredibly hard in this state.

I have no idea if I'm getting better or worse looking at the whole picture. My windows are getting longer and better, but my waves are also getting worse and more instense. I usually read people saying they are getting longer and better windows but their waves getting shorter and milder. So, I don't know where I stand as both things are equally intensifying. I'm scared. I'm scared my whole summer will be just one absolutely brutal wave. ☹️

I am enduring, even though each day I say I can't do this anymore. I am re-reading KenA's and Ten0275's threads (from the old forum) constantly these days and they give me hope (at least for a short while).

I haven't had much strength to comment on others' threads these last days but I hope all of you are doing better. I wish speedy healing for all of us. 🙏🏻❤️

Dear @Marina,

I'm sorry to read you're going through such a difficult time, I wish it were easier for you... At the risk of sounding trite, know that this wave will not last; it will pass. And as time passes, you're getting closer and closer to the other side of this. Even if your mind tries to covince you otherwise, remember that it is WD speaking, not you.

I really appreciate the support you have given me in the past few months so I would love to return the favor. Thank you.

Wishing you lots of strength and more healing ❤️

19 hours ago, Marina said:

This wave is absolutely brutal. It feels like I've passed a new threshold with the level of DP/DR. All symptoms are in their full force. Feels a lot like first months/acute. Sleep is worse and I keep waking up earlier and earlier and then suffering painful tingling in my hands/fingers and also like cold water running through my whole body. (That last thing doesn't feel too bad, really. I feel relief when it happens as it is quite warm/hot.) I usually have a meltdown around lunch and that lasts until the evening. I can't calm myself, I cry the whole afternoon catastrophazing, I feel such restlessness in my body and mind (not sure if akathisia or not) and I also feel like going into panic mode several times during the afternoon. Tinnitus is pretty persistent and annoying as well. It's driving me nuts. My appetite is lower.

I feel like all my symptoms are exacerbated by the sudden rise in temperatures and our AC being disconnected. I generally don't handle heat well. They did, finally, connect our AC yesterday late afternoon and that brings some relief. But I fear how I'll survive the summer. It's going to be incredibly hard in this state.

I have no idea if I'm getting better or worse looking at the whole picture. My windows are getting longer and better, but my waves are also getting worse and more instense. I usually read people saying they are getting longer and better windows but their waves getting shorter and milder. So, I don't know where I stand as both things are equally intensifying. I'm scared. I'm scared my whole summer will be just one absolutely brutal wave. ☹️

I am enduring, even though each day I say I can't do this anymore. I am re-reading KenA's and Ten0275's threads (from the old forum) constantly these days and they give me hope (at least for a short while).

I haven't had much strength to comment on others' threads these last days but I hope all of you are doing better. I wish speedy healing for all of us. 🙏🏻❤️

Dear Marina, I am so sorry you having a hard time atm. This healing journey can be so unpredictable, but we do know that healing is happening. I do believe that symptoms can stack, it might be you are having the sudden onslaught of the last few cuts catching up with you. I would hold this dose personally, for an extended period of time (several months) and let your body heal whilst propped up with this little bit of drug.

The heat definitely effects us all. I am noticing it at night in particular. I am glad to see your AC is back on. Great news.

As hard as it is right now, try to just be here in the today and not think about the coming weeks, you are much stronger than you realise and staying present really helps keep the wd brain a little under control in my experience.

Hope today is easier for you xxxx

20 hours ago, Marina said:

I have no idea if I'm getting better or worse looking at the whole picture. My windows are getting longer and better, but my waves are also getting worse and more instense. I usually read people saying they are getting longer and better windows but their waves getting shorter and milder. So, I don't know where I stand as both things are equally intensifying. I'm scared. I'm scared my whole summer will be just one absolutely brutal wave. ☹️

I think one thing to consider alongside this, is that you've tapered right down to a very low dose and you're not far from being drug free.

It can often get quite difficult after cuts at the very low doses, but outside of how good/long windows are, and how difficult waves are, you've made immense progress towards being drug free and then healing totally without these drugs.

In that context, you're absolutely making good progress towards getting better.

Thank you guys ❤️

@Niels91 I appreciate the support. ❤️ I really hope this wave subsides soon.

@Chippy I don't know what the cause is... Maybe it's all things - my cycle/hormones, the heat, the cuts... But maybe it's just a wave happening no matter what. Whatever it is, it's happening and I have to endure it. I will be holding the dose. We'll see how that goes. But it's hard not to think about the summer in front of us. I feel immense fear.

Thank you for the encouragement. ❤️

@Luke Thank you. ❤️ I am glad I'm near the end of the taper, but man, it's probably the roughest part (alongside all the other rough parts of this situation).

I don't have any personal experience with it, but it does seem like it can be the difficult part for a lot of people.

You're welcome. Please try to hold on to the fact that you've made absolutely huge progress with tapering, even if symptoms are sometimes bad.

@Luke What hurts me the most in my tapering process is how it all went sideways...

I started tapering in October 2024 and everything was going pretty good until my switch to compounded capsules aroung 5mg in September 2025. That was the point of no return and I probably made it worse with my fast and bumpy taper from 5mg to 1mg. From 1mg to 0,1mg I was overly careful, but the damage was already done between 5mg and 1mg. I honestly think that all this is the consequence of what happened between September and (let's say) November 2025.

Hey @Marina — just wanted to say thanks for the support you’ve given me, and hope today is a bit calmer for you 💜

Thank you @SarahMc ❤️

So far the day isn't terrible, hopefully it will continue that way until bedtime. 🙏🏻 I hope you feel some relief as the day goes by. ❤️

So pleased to hear your day is going relatively well @Marina my it lasts very long 🙏💞

Edited June 4Jun 4 by Fullhealing

On 6/3/2026 at 9:59 AM, Marina said:

@Luke What hurts me the most in my tapering process is how it all went sideways...

I started tapering in October 2024 and everything was going pretty good until my switch to compounded capsules aroung 5mg in September 2025. That was the point of no return and I probably made it worse with my fast and bumpy taper from 5mg to 1mg. From 1mg to 0,1mg I was overly careful, but the damage was already done between 5mg and 1mg. I honestly think that all this is the consequence of what happened between September and (let's say) November 2025.

It's not your fault.

One way or another, pretty much everyone here was caught out by the harms these drugs could do without proper information from the medical profession, drug companies etc.

16 hours ago, Marina said:

Thank you @SarahMc ❤️

So far the day isn't terrible, hopefully it will continue that way until bedtime. 🙏🏻 I hope you feel some relief as the day goes by. ❤️

Great to hear Marina! More to come! xxx