4 hours ago, Chippy said:

Go steady mate. Make you listen to your body. Weekly is quick but you know that.

yeah i know, im doing a more micro tapering approach, i know i take like a week to recover most of the time from tiny fluctuations so i hope to slowly progress, because the way i see it, im suffering either way from this tablet's fluctuation and inconsistency, i probably will need to go slower at lower doses.

11 hours ago, Lighty said:

yeah i know, im doing a more micro tapering approach, i know i take like a week to recover most of the time from tiny fluctuations so i hope to slowly progress, because the way i see it, im suffering either way from this tablet's fluctuation and inconsistency, i probably will need to go slower at lower doses.

Here for you bud we all are. 

im not tapering anymore for a long time, i had an extremely bad day and i can't be like this no more.

So I had a flare up the last 4 days, had throat burn which i didn't have for months i believe, and was super weak,

Untill i broke up yesterday and I had tremors and some involuntary movements for a bit, but also was super depressed yesterday and that was that.

today tho I took some sunlight and a bit after that I started having involuntary movements, had 2 sessions of 2 hours each, luckily I had 0 emotional issues but it's still not fun having non controllable movement with my limbs and pacing.

I tried returning back to my hobby of tea, the only thing worth mentioning is i didn't have much body weakness and that lethargy lately after trying tea again, still kinda not able to function normal day to day.

I'm gonna have a following yap. feel free to not read further.

 

i had 2 days where i get stomach aches from tea when drinking 5g of tea.

i had sensitivity to tea in stomach in the past as well but i think it got worse, there is a chance "training it" with the right amounts that feel appropriate might improve it but who knows haha.

went on a deep rabbit hole, the most gentle teas catechins and caffeine wise are the fermented and aged ones (mostly puerh), so yeah.

i probably need to take it slower and everything probably.

caffeine wise i usually just get usual jittery and also can get angry, after a few hours a crash, and i sleep less (not taking before bed obviously).

Well I still have quite the bad days, had a bunch of ups and down since last post.

since yesterday I am super lethargic and out of energy, to the point basic actions collapse me out of energy to the point i can't control my body for like 20-30 minutes really.

today I collapsed twice, second time i also went into crying and then shaking, yeah.

But I'm still alive, and I got my hobby back so when I'm not on bad days, that puts me in a good mood that I can do that.

1 hour ago, Lighty said:

Well I still have quite the bad days, had a bunch of ups and down since last post.

since yesterday I am super lethargic and out of energy, to the point basic actions collapse me out of energy to the point i can't control my body for like 20-30 minutes really.

today I collapsed twice, second time i also went into crying and then shaking, yeah.

But I'm still alive, and I got my hobby back so when I'm not on bad days, that puts me in a good mood that I can do that.

I'm sorry @Lighty the last few days have been tough for us here but today was especially challenging which adds a lot of fuel..

I had very rough day today if it's any consolation so you're not alone.

Hell of a journey but we keep on going, this will pass!

Stay strong and get well very soon.

Edited March 26Mar 26 by Fullhealing

@Lighty, It was uncommon for me, but I did experience involuntary movements and tremors in mirtazapine withdrawal.

 

The body weakness and severe fatigue is unfortunately "classic" mirtazapine withdrawal and for some reason mirtazapine in particular seems to be pretty bad for causing it. It's something that has plagued me throughout and was really disabling for a long time, but it is also something I've observed in a lot of other mirtazapine withdrawal cases and I'm in touch with a couple off of the forum who had it badly as well.

 

Hopefully if you hold your dose for a little while, you'll stabilise and it will pass.

19 minutes ago, Luke said:

@Lighty, It was uncommon for me, but I did experience involuntary movements and tremors in mirtazapine withdrawal.

 

The body weakness and severe fatigue is unfortunately "classic" mirtazapine withdrawal and for some reason mirtazapine in particular seems to be pretty bad for causing it. It's something that has plagued me throughout and was really disabling for a long time, but it is also something I've observed in a lot of other mirtazapine withdrawal cases and I'm in touch with a couple off of the forum who had it badly as well.

 

Hopefully if you hold your dose for a little while, you'll stabilise and it will pass.

yeah for me also specifically, it seems like all this withdrawal interferes and brings up my original condition that led me to all these drugs.

I'm not planning on tapering for a long time, and when I will, it will take forever, but I'm in no rush, Living a good life is better than reaching 0mg on this drug, and I can live a decent life even with the drug, better than pure hell. 

7 minutes ago, Lighty said:

and I can live a decent life even with the drug, better than pure hell

Fridge magnet

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Fridge magnet

Good one, going for that!!

Edited March 27Mar 27 by Fullhealing

By the way my wave ended yesterday basically.

It's wierd but usually my wave ends when my lethargy at some point turns into involuntary movements and being over energized, and when that settles down im pretty much after it.

1 hour ago, Lighty said:

By the way my wave ended yesterday basically.

It's wierd but usually my wave ends when my lethargy at some point turns into involuntary movements and being over energized, and when that settles down im pretty much after it.

Lovely news @Lighty wave is behind me as well, let's celebrate these precious moments!

Edited March 28Mar 28 by Fullhealing

3 hours ago, Lighty said:

By the way my wave ended yesterday basically.

It's wierd but usually my wave ends when my lethargy at some point turns into involuntary movements and being over energized, and when that settles down im pretty much after it.

 

Glad to hear it. I hope you continue to stabilise.

5 minutes ago, Luke said:

Glad to hear it. I hope you continue to stabilise.

We all know I will have more waves haha.

Thanks to @Kahran I remembered about my unfinished diamond painting.

Started working on it again after a few years since i last worked on it.

Another hobby to my list of things to do.

I have finally received an aloe vera supplement I ordered for some mild stomach issues, but I'll keep you updated as maybe it could help some other stuff.

1 hour ago, Lighty said:

I have finally received an aloe vera supplement I ordered for some mild stomach issues, but I'll keep you updated as maybe it could help some other stuff.

Hi Lighty, is this an ointment or a gel?

1 minute ago, Fullhealing said:

Hi Lighty, is this an ointment or a gel?

Small softgells that you swallow with an extract inside.

4 minutes ago, Lighty said:

Small softgells that you swallow with an extract inside.

Aloe vera for ingestion is interesting, I would love to hear how it works, I also have stomach issues.

By the way I have remembered, It's been now more than a year from being off all the other drugs I been on (except mirtazapine obviously), as i stopped risperidone on late march 2025.

Good anniversary to celebrate I guess haha.

Edited April 4Apr 4 by Lighty

Happy Anniversary and well done !

By the way I want to clarify somethings.

I talk a lot about acceptance, but it's really hard for me as well, it's easy to give up to the emotions and then cry and be miserable on your life, but you will suffer more.

I have days with lots of sadness and difficult symptoms, accepting it makes it the least bad.

I had right now discussion with people that think drugs are helpful and think that psychiatrists know how to stop the drugs (when we all know they don't)

We always have to accept reality, to achieve a closer state to peace, even if it's hard, even if it's a nightmare sometimes, this is the only way your time will pass fast, if you don't accept, your life will be much harder.

 

Edit: It's okay to sometimes fail to accept your symptoms, it's okay to sometimes have anger and letting it out, I have those times too, but you just have to let your emotions out and then go back to acceptance, with letting your bodies flow the emotions as it needs.

Edited April 8Apr 8 by Lighty

4 hours ago, Lighty said:

By the way I want to clarify somethings.

I talk a lot about acceptance, but it's really hard for me as well, it's easy to give up to the emotions and then cry and be miserable on your life, but you will suffer more.

I have days with lots of sadness and difficult symptoms, accepting it makes it the least bad.

I had right now discussion with people that think drugs are helpful and think that psychiatrists know how to stop the drugs (when we all know they don't)

We always have to accept reality, to achieve a closer state to peace, even if it's hard, even if it's a nightmare sometimes, this is the only way your time will pass fast, if you don't accept, your life will be much harder.

 

Edit: It's okay to sometimes fail to accept your symptoms, it's okay to sometimes have anger and letting it out, I have those times too, but you just have to let your emotions out and then go back to acceptance, with letting your bodies flow the emotions as it needs.

True, acceptance is very challenging work let alone in wd.. we just need to give ourselves a little grace when we fall and know how to rise and not sink deeper.. work in progress for all of us.

Hope you are doing well atm @Lighty

8 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

True, acceptance is very challenging work let alone in wd.. we just need to give ourselves a little grace when we fall and know how to rise and not sink deeper.. work in progress for all of us.

Hope you are doing well atm @Lighty

good today overall, drank 2 teas, continued diamond painting, but had a fight with my family kinda and then they also fought i needed to close myself in my room.