Today I had a very good day vs yesterday, but as it got later in the day it went towards overstimulation, so I got dyskinesia and uncontrollable pacing for a bit, at least I got my exercise and was in a good mood !

today is bad, i barely slept last night as I had dyskinesia the whole night plus some other stuff and I was just freaking out the whole night, and today I had symptoms obviously.

11 minutes ago, Lighty said:

today is bad, i barely slept last night as I had dyskinesia the whole night plus some other stuff and I was just freaking out the whole night, and today I had symptoms obviously.

17 hours ago, Lighty said:

Today I had a very good day vs yesterday, but as it got later in the day it went towards overstimulation, so I got dyskinesia and uncontrollable pacing for a bit, at least I got my exercise and was in a good mood .

That's the way of WD; good days and not so good days. It can truly be nerve wracking not knowing what each day will bring. Wishing you peace and true rest today, my friend.

Today was pretty good, drank 2 teas and i managed to sleep almost 9 hours this night after barely sleeping the previous night.

Also right now is yom kippur eve, and we had the usual ordeal of going to a certain neighbor, i needed to take a tiny bit of chocolate but managed to walk there with that.

I remember the previous year, I was pretty much forced by my mom to go and I was in horror, the fact this year I managed to go and wasn't in horror, even if I had brain fog from taking chocolate at the evening, is a win, always count your tiny wins and progress.

13 minutes ago, Lighty said:

Today was pretty good, drank 2 teas and i managed to sleep almost 9 hours this night after barely sleeping the previous night.

Also right now is yom kippur eve, and we had the usual ordeal of going to a certain neighbor, i needed to take a tiny bit of chocolate but managed to walk there with that.

I remember the previous year, I was pretty much forced by my mom to go and I was in horror, the fact this year I managed to go and wasn't in horror, even if I had brain fog from taking chocolate at the evening, is a win, always count your tiny wins and progress.

So glad to hear it @Lighty. Being able to see that you've progressed year over year is a big deal, even if that progress feels small. More to come 😊

15 hours ago, Lighty said:

always count your tiny wins and progress.

I'm often impressed by your work to keep your mind in a healthy place through this @Lighty

Just now, Luke said:

I'm often impressed by your work to keep your mind in a healthy place through this @Lighty

You always have to work on yourself, I rather suffer less than more, I have chosen life and I do so everyday so giving up is not an option.

All my grandparents have gone through the holocaust, and my father had a very rare disease when I was a kid that he went through until it eventually killed him, I'm from the same material, and I make sure to shape my future as much as possible.

It's all mindset, coping skills, determination and purpose, I sometimes suffer so much but I just go through it, knowing it's only suffering, even tho it is a lot at times, there is no other option as this is the only way for me to heal and thrive.

lately it feels like I have been doing overall better, obviously better and worse moments, some nights not that good some are better, still dealing with dyskinesia and the usual lack of energy but it is what it is, I'm used to it.

6 minutes ago, Lighty said:

lately it feels like I have been doing overall better, obviously better and worse moments, some nights not that good some are better, still dealing with dyskinesia and the usual lack of energy but it is what it is, I'm used to it.

What does your dyskinesia feel like? Mine's been light twitching in the toes and fingers, sometimes other places. It's very frustrating.

2 minutes ago, Kahran said:

What does your dyskinesia feel like? Mine's been light twitching in the toes and fingers, sometimes other places. It's very frustrating.

can be feet, fingers, or even every muscle in the body, it really depends, sometimes worse, sometimes okay amount, sometimes im focused on something and there is none, sometimes really bad - especially when i get exhausted and have 0 physical energy it tends to get worse and trigger.

Best advice is to let go off control and let it happen, just a symptom, not anything life threatening, but when it gets very extreme you can't accept it at times.

Edited September 26Sep 26 by Lighty

Really glad to hear you've been doing better overall @Lighty -- I understand things aren't perfect, but progress counts for a lot!

@Lighty Really happy to hear mate, I have been very worried about you. Hopefully back to your normal self and even better now xxx

honestly the whole day so far been having neuro emotions and contemplating my life, with all this difficulty and **** that nobody understands.

at the end of the day I was forced on this path, regardless if life is fair or no, have to go forward, no matter how much suffering/ ******** i need to deal with.

waiting for February/March for things to start feeling better again in a way.

What helps me and why I continue on :

being mindful, gratitude, doing the hobbies that i can be doing at each time, and knowing everything is temporary.

this moment in time, right now, won't be remembered in 10 years, or remembered very vaguely, everything becomes the past, so everything passes, even hard days, i pass a hard day, that previous day in my mind doesn't exist so i don't remember it and i move on.

no matter how hard or easy it is, we are all surviving in some sense, i don't believe in time wasted, you can argue no matter what you do in life, your time is wasted, that it all becomes meaningless, i just know in 10 years I won't remember today, in fact, i barely remember most moments from a year ago, just vague memories.

I focus highly on what I could gain from this life, I live cause i have purposes and things i enjoy in this current life, I believe that we never truly die and we just reincarnate into different lives, i know in the next life I won't have my purpose of saving lives through this cause, nor my tea hobby probably, so that's my meaning to live, eventually I won't remember this life anyways, I want to have a positive influence on this world and not a negative which is what a lot of people do, this world is so cruel which is why i want to improve it, suffering is just a sensation anyways.

Been in a wave since yesterday's eve, but I'll be fine