13 hours ago, Bernadette said:

@Nemina I see your at a very low dose now, I remember back in my earlier tapping and the dose was lower the symptoms seemed to get a bit more intense during waves, especially the anxiety, heart palpitations, and tinnitus were the worst. With all the changes you've gone through you've handled them great. I would agree, it's wonderful when the husband gives you the support and sees the difference in a good way and let's you know, it can be so encouraging. Hugs my friend to continued healing, your doing amazing 🤗❤️

Thank you for sharing this dear @Bernadette . So interesting, anxiety, heart palpitations, and tinnitus are exactly what is strongest right now. And during the night I had the feeling of something squeezing my brain, accompanied by strong brain zaps. Thank you for your encouragement!

3 hours ago, Nemina said:

Thank you so much my dear friend! Yes the day went quite well! Got some nice neurotransmitters probably from seeing and hugging my son whom I haven’t seen for seven months 💗.

Difficult night, though. Today struggling a bit with symptoms, but I will come through the day. one step at a time.

Hope you can find some peace, @Fullhealing !

How exciting @Nemina lovely, enjoy that precious time together!

Sorry about the night and today though, haven't been great for me either but yes, little by little, we know how it works xxx

.

Hi, friends, I have a question: Does anyone else feel or has felt sometime in this process like their ears are blocked? Like when you’re taking off in an airplane and your ears pop? Or like when you just have too much earwax in your ears. I thought the latter might be the case for me, so I went to see an ear doctor today. But the doctor said everything is clear. The passage between my nose and ears is clear, too. She said I have a misalignment in my temporomandibular joint. My guess is that it’s just due to withdrawal. What have been your experiences with this?

I generally have symptoms in this area: tinnitus, dizziness, ringing in the ears. So that would fit.

Besides that I can report that my days (approaching my son‘s wedding) are stressful, but I can manage quite well. The nights are difficult, though. Especially the tension and anxiety ramp up at night. But I am very thankful that I am coping.

It helps a lot that I am experienced in symptom management and acceptance after 24 months of withdrawal. Just to give you an example: I was talking with my younger son in the kitchen today, just goofing around a bit and then we talked about his job when all of a sudden I had one of my (rare) bathroom accidents. I didn’t flinch. Went to the toilet, went to my room and changed my clothes, went down and continued the conversation. My son didn’t realize anything of what happened. I had no emotions around it, just acceptance and the clear will not to let any of this interfere with the nice time that I have with my family. I will take some menstrual pads with me for the wedding and somehow how I get through, I’m sure.

Things like this give me a subtle glimpse of what life will be like after withdrawal. I believe we’ll all have learned a lot. Acceptance, focusing on the good and beautiful things in life, gratitude, and serenity—I believe all of this will shape our future lives.

Edited October 7Oct 7 by Nemina

4 minutes ago, Nemina said:

their ears are blocked

Yes, it's a constant issue, but it gotten better in the last weeks or so. It was a daily issue for me and constantly popping out air. Like being on an airplane

9 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Yes, it's a constant issue, but it gotten better in the last weeks or so. It was a daily issue for me and constantly popping out air. Like being on an airplane

Thank you, @Raymond , this is very helpful for me to hear!

Dear Nemina, I loved reading your post about acceptance and how you got through a tricky situation. It has encouraged me.

Wombat

2 hours ago, Nemina said:

Hi, friends, I have a question: Does anyone else feel or has felt sometime in this process like their ears are blocked? Like when you’re taking off in an airplane and your ears pop? Or like when you just have too much earwax in your ears. I thought the latter might be the case for me, so I went to see an ear doctor today. But the doctor said everything is clear. The passage between my nose and ears is clear, too. She said I have a misalignment in my temporomandibular joint. My guess is that it’s just due to withdrawal. What have been your experiences with this?

I generally have symptoms in this area: tinnitus, dizziness, ringing in the ears. So that would fit.

Besides that I can report that my days (approaching my son‘s wedding) are stressful, but I can manage quite well. The nights are difficult, though. Especially the tension and anxiety ramp up at night. But I am very thankful that I am coping.

It helps a lot that I am experienced in symptom management and acceptance after 24 months of withdrawal. Just to give you an example: I was talking with my younger son in the kitchen today, just goofing around a bit and then we talked about his job when all of a sudden I had one of my (rare) bathroom accidents. I didn’t flinch. Went to the toilet, went to my room and changed my clothes, went down and continued the conversation. My son didn’t realize anything of what happened. I had no emotions around it, just acceptance and the clear will not to let any of this interfere with the nice time that I have with my family. I will take some menstrual pads with me for the wedding and somehow how I get through, I’m sure.

Things like this give me a subtle glimpse of what life will be like after withdrawal. I believe we’ll all have learned a lot. Acceptance, focusing on the good and beautiful things in life, gratitude, and serenity—I believe all of this will shape our future lives.

It’s great you’re doing so well @Nemina . I’ve found I can get weird neurological symptoms at anytime. Mine tend to show up as muscle spasms, burning skin sensation etc. enjoy the wedding 🎂

14 hours ago, Nemina said:

Does anyone else feel or has felt sometime in this process like their ears are blocked? Like when you’re taking off in an airplane and your ears pop? Or like when you just have too much earwax in your ears. I thought the latter might be the case for me, so I went to see an ear doctor today. But the doctor said everything is clear. The passage between my nose and ears is clear, too. She said I have a misalignment in my temporomandibular joint. My guess is that it’s just due to withdrawal. What have been your experiences with this?

Hey @Nemina, I've had this too. To me it feels like my entire head is underwater and my ears are full of water. Very strange, but nothing surprises me anymore 😅😂

17 hours ago, Nemina said:

Hi, friends, I have a question: Does anyone else feel or has felt sometime in this process like their ears are blocked? Like when you’re taking off in an airplane and your ears pop? Or like when you just have too much earwax in your ears. I thought the latter might be the case for me, so I went to see an ear doctor today. But the doctor said everything is clear. The passage between my nose and ears is clear, too. She said I have a misalignment in my temporomandibular joint. My guess is that it’s just due to withdrawal. What have been your experiences with this?

I generally have symptoms in this area: tinnitus, dizziness, ringing in the ears. So that would fit.

Besides that I can report that my days (approaching my son‘s wedding) are stressful, but I can manage quite well. The nights are difficult, though. Especially the tension and anxiety ramp up at night. But I am very thankful that I am coping.

It helps a lot that I am experienced in symptom management and acceptance after 24 months of withdrawal. Just to give you an example: I was talking with my younger son in the kitchen today, just goofing around a bit and then we talked about his job when all of a sudden I had one of my (rare) bathroom accidents. I didn’t flinch. Went to the toilet, went to my room and changed my clothes, went down and continued the conversation. My son didn’t realize anything of what happened. I had no emotions around it, just acceptance and the clear will not to let any of this interfere with the nice time that I have with my family. I will take some menstrual pads with me for the wedding and somehow how I get through, I’m sure.

Things like this give me a subtle glimpse of what life will be like after withdrawal. I believe we’ll all have learned a lot. Acceptance, focusing on the good and beautiful things in life, gratitude, and serenity—I believe all of this will shape our future lives.

I get a lot of visual and vestibular issues from Lexapro. It was awful when I first started on it. And those symptoms have flared as I’m withdrawing. I even went to a vestibular PT, who wanted to treat me with higher doses of SSRIs. Lol!

We have four adult kids and had a wedding every summer for the last four years. Stressful (and expensive!), but survivable. You have a good attitude to get through it. I booked us a 3 week vacation in a national park after the last wedding. I wanted to just sit in nature with no phone or internet and unwind with no demands. It was glorious.

Dear @Nemina, I have the same problem with my right ear, as it is blocked by the earwax. It occurs the night, when I try to sleep on this side. The ear becomes blocked. But during the day I don't have this problem. It is an awful sensation.

Hello @Nemina , yep, that ear clogging sensation you get when going up in an airplane is absolutely something I’ve been getting in withdrawal. I was joking with @SarahMc that I’m now a human weather barometer. I can literally tell when the weather is going to change because my ears start to clog as the barometric pressure changes. Maybe while I’m in withdrawal I can get a job sitting in a cornfield to help farmers anticipate weather changes……?!

I noticed in your history that you held 108 days but decided to carry on tapering despite still being unstable. What was your thought process (other than being sick of the whole process and wanting this stuff out of your system)?

On 10/7/2026 at 11:22 PM, Wombat said:

Dear Nemina, I loved reading your post about acceptance and how you got through a tricky situation. It has encouraged me.

Wombat

I am happy that I could encourage you, @Wombat . It is really amazing what a difference acceptance can make. And also, I believe that one can really learn to live with adversities. I see in life and also on this forum that often young people are hit much harder with the same issues than older folks. I remember when I was young I had a knee issue, it really bogged me down then and today I would just shrug and go on with life…. Later in life, I had many health problems, and I believe that every single one of them made me stronger. Same will happen with this stupid withdrawal, I believe. It’s terrible now but once it is over, it will also leave positive traces.

On 10/8/2026 at 12:51 AM, Catbird said:

It’s great you’re doing so well @Nemina . I’ve found I can get weird neurological symptoms at anytime. Mine tend to show up as muscle spasms, burning skin sensation etc. enjoy the wedding 🎂

Thank you, dear @Catbird ! I am enjoying this special week with my children as good as I can. Right now they are throwing a party (pre-wedding), it started at seven and I left at eight. Now I sit in my pajama on my sofa and I am happy to be alone. I cannot be there, my nerves just couldn’t bear it, but I know that my kids are having a great time and that makes me happy.

Yes, Symptoms are showing up any time, they come and go, it’s really crazy. I am practicing ignoring them and acceptance which is of course sometimes easier and sometimes harder.

Edited October 9Oct 9 by Nemina

On 10/8/2026 at 1:05 PM, SarahMc said:

Hey @Nemina, I've had this too. To me it feels like my entire head is underwater and my ears are full of water. Very strange, but nothing surprises me anymore 😅😂

Thank you for the feedback, @SarahMc ! It is so good and comforting to know that this is probably just withdrawal and thus will go away one day by itself.

On 10/8/2026 at 4:21 PM, Wildflower said:

I get a lot of visual and vestibular issues from Lexapro. It was awful when I first started on it. And those symptoms have flared as I’m withdrawing. I even went to a vestibular PT, who wanted to treat me with higher doses of SSRIs. Lol!

We have four adult kids and had a wedding every summer for the last four years. Stressful (and expensive!), but survivable. You have a good attitude to get through it. I booked us a 3 week vacation in a national park after the last wedding. I wanted to just sit in nature with no phone or internet and unwind with no demands. It was glorious.

Wow, four children and four weddings! The three week vacation sounds wonderful. I have to work immediately after the wedding, but it is OK, only part-time.

On 10/8/2026 at 5:32 PM, Saturn468 said:

Hello @Nemina , yep, that ear clogging sensation you get when going up in an airplane is absolutely something I’ve been getting in withdrawal. I was joking with @SarahMc that I’m now a human weather barometer. I can literally tell when the weather is going to change because my ears start to clog as the barometric pressure changes. Maybe while I’m in withdrawal I can get a job sitting in a cornfield to help farmers anticipate weather changes……?!

I noticed in your history that you held 108 days but decided to carry on tapering despite still being unstable. What was your thought process (other than being sick of the whole process and wanting this stuff out of your system)?

On 10/8/2026 at 5:32 PM, Saturn468 said:

I’m now a human weather barometer. I can literally tell when the weather is going to change because my ears start to clog as the barometric pressure changes. Maybe while I’m in withdrawal I can get a job sitting in a cornfield to help farmers anticipate weather changes……?!

That is so funny @Saturn468 ! And also very interesting, I never thought that it might be connected with the weather or the air pressure.

On 10/8/2026 at 5:32 PM, Saturn468 said:

noticed in your history that you held 108 days but decided to carry on tapering despite still being unstable. What was your thought process (other than being sick of the whole process and wanting this stuff out of your system)?

I felt that holding didn’t make a difference. Maybe I was just not patient enough to feed the benefit of the taper, but I did not feel worse when I started tapering again, so it might have been the right decision. I am currently holding again( not because of worsening symptoms, but because I wanted to be as fit as possible for the wedding of my son) and this time I also I do not have the impression that I feel better, but of course it’s hard to say, because they can always be this long delay when you, for example, taper too fast. I hope that answers your question, feel free to ask again if I did not respond properly.

On 10/8/2026 at 5:01 PM, skamen said:

Dear @Nemina, I have the same problem with my right ear, as it is blocked by the earwax. It occurs the night, when I try to sleep on this side. The ear becomes blocked. But during the day I don't have this problem. It is an awful sensation.

Thank you, dear @skamen , you are in my prayers very often. I hope so much that you will see a window soon. You are a great warrior, do not give up, we are cheering your own and your time will come.

Thank you @Nemina , you answered the question perfectly. Basically, when you stopped seeing improvement you decided to move forward slowly. It sounds like you’re in a similar position to me as your baseline isn’t clean but is also not deteriorating. It’s unbelievable what we have to go through to figure this out……

On 10/9/2026 at 11:37 PM, Saturn468 said:

It sounds like you’re in a similar position to me as your baseline isn’t clean but is also not deteriorating.

Exactly!

Sending some love @Nemina xxxxx

Thank you dear @Chippy !

Hello everybody, thank you that so many of you guys thought of me in the last days! The wedding is over and everything worked really well. Of course I missed out on some occasions and I have had my difficult hours, but I was able to participate and enjoy the wedding. I am very, very thankful. The wedding was beautiful, and the couple was very happy.

As so often my nervous system gave me a break during the most important hours. This was really wonderful.

Now , of course, I pay the price for over straining my nervous system. But I expected this and it is OK for me. Had a horrible night with cortisol rushes, waking up again and again with fear and anxiety. During the day waves of vertigo and nausea, and so on I don’t wanna give the symptoms too much space.

It is interesting how you can be happy and thankful and sad and fearful at the same time. With withdrawal you surely can.

Anyway, I survived, we made wonderful memories, and I was part of the celebration. Thank God.

Lovely to read @Nemina .

So pleased you could enjoy the wedding. I am also glad you can experience some joy in amongst it.

You are doing so well xxxx

18 hours ago, Tracey said:

Lovely to read @Nemina .

So pleased you could enjoy the wedding. I am also glad you can experience some joy in amongst it.

You are doing so well xxxx

Thank you, my dear @Tracey . I know that you are suffering terribly at the moment and I appreciate it very much that you stop by my thread. Sending a hug over to your side of the planet! 🌍 🫂

I made a stupid mistake today. I was at the office and after lunch I had a little piece of a birthday cake of one of my colleagues (I can eat sugar and this one was the healthy kind with lots of nuts). There was nothing else to drink but black tea so I had a cup. Boy! I hardly made it home. I got so weak and shaky. The last stretch of my way home from work I have to walk about 20 minutes from public transport to my place. I was so weak, my legs hardly holding me up, my heart pounding like crazy. I looked for places to sit down, but on this stretch, there’s only hedges and fences. When I came home, I first ate something, because I thought that might be calming for my system. Then I fell down on the couch and I cannot tell you whether I fell asleep or passed out. Now , hours later, I’m still having a loudly pounding heart and feel very shaky. The usual noise in my ears has dialed up, and I have this feeling of changing pressure in my head which I normally have at night and in the morning. Lesson learned: no black tea for me.