9 hours ago, Glimmery said:

Hi Nemina :), I was reading your thread. So I just want to chime in and say hello and reply to your latest post. That sounds like an exhausting experience with your family member. Being on the receiving end of someone’s sudden lashing out—especially when you don’t understand why it is happening—can leave your nervous system in a prolonged state of alarm, even when the person later apologizes. I had a similar experience with a close family member. She did not apologize and she did not talk about it at all. Being in WD this really put me into a freeze mode like state for more than two weeks after that attack-like-behavior. WD can make one react different to things which would be difficult without wd already.

I hope that you will have good, cheering time with your son and your daughte in law and I hope that you are good.

Thank you so much for your interest and your understanding @Glimmery !

Sending some love @Nemina sounds like you have a busy time coming up, hope you get a nice long period of stablity to help you with this. xxxxx

On 9/21/2026 at 7:31 AM, Nemina said:

I will try to give a little update. May and June have been better months. This has made me very hopeful. But July and August (months 22 and 23)have been very difficult. Many waves, a lot of sadness, nausea, heart palpitations, anxiety, tinnitus , fatigue, weakness, joint pain, anxiety…

September so far has been better. I had more window days. One day I felt even relaxed, I was very tired, but in a good way, I did at least two naps during the day and they did not end up toxic, just being relaxed, it was beautiful. I realized how not relaxed I usually am, even in a window. But on this one day it was possible for my body and my brain to let the tension go, and this was wonderful.

But the waves are still strong sometimes. Today I had a really bad day with lots of sadness, intrusive thoughts, feeling nervous and anxious. The anxiousness is like hot waves rolling through my stomach. A disgusting feeling. But I was able to do a workout. Even though it did not help with the symptoms, I am still thankful that I was able to do it. The heart palpitations also are much weaker. I can usually feel them only when I lay on my left side in bed.

I had some extremely rough days when a family member of mine was lashing out against me for no reason. She did this twice. Afterwards, she always said she was sorry and that it was because she feels under stress and that I have not deserved this, but I realized in all that I have no resources to cope with this kind of extreme stress. It put me in full alarm mode for 24 hours twice. So I really feel for all of you who have to go through difficult life transitions of family conflicts…

I have been holding for about a month now. I do not know whether this really makes a difference so far, but I will keep holding. In October my son will marry and will have a big wedding. The couple will stay with us in our house during and after that, they are moving to our city and they do not have a place to live yet. Nor do they have jobs. So I do not know how long they will live with us. I am very pleased and happy and thankful that my son wants to move back to his hometown after a couple of years on another continent. And my daughter-in-law is a lovely woman whom I like very much. But of course this transition will be stressful for all of us. our house is very small and I want to be as fit as possible for the challenge, so I will keep holding as long as the outer situation demands and hope and pray that I will be stable and that everybody will feel well around me.

As always, I want to stress how thankful I am for all of you, my companions on this incredible and hard journey! This forum is a wonderful place and every single one of you is an important part of it. Thanks for going with me. Together, we will heal. And I strongly believe that we are learning and growing on this journey. God bless all of you.

You are a beautiful caring mum @Nemina . Your son and daughter in law are blessed to have you. I hope sharing your space works out okay for you whilst you are still in your withdrawal. Life goes on though and we just have to be kind and gentle with ourselves.

Very positive that you can exercise and not become aggravated with symptoms. You are really doing so well. Happy to read your month has been better so far. despite some painful waves. Nausea is just the worst.

I feel for you with the family conflict as we are just too sensitive for this. I can understand it really knocking you around for days. Panic mode is really dreadful to be in for so long.

Holding sounds like a wise thing to do with your upcoming changes. I wholeheartedly agree with you about this forum and the sharing and caring we do here. We most certainly are growing and learning on this journey back to our true authentic selves.

Thanks for your lovely update xxx Hugs as well xx

Thank you for your lovely post, @Tracey , I appreciate it very much!

Yes, coping with stress is so difficult during withdrawal. I know that you have had and are still having a terribly stressful time. I cannot imagine moving, losing beloved animals and starting a new life during withdrawal, as you have to do. It is absolutely understandable that you are shaken to the core. My heart goes out to you.

Thank you for still bringing up empathy for me. You are a very caring person.

Sending you a hug.xxx

Today I am having a better day ! Usually I wake up feeling anxious and alarmed, sometimes shaking, but always feeling very uncomfortable. Today, I was feeling almost normal, when I woke up! Tinnitus was extremely loud, but I am very used to the ringing in my ears that always gets louder when I am in bed. I was not relaxed enough that I would have tried to keep sleeping, but I had to work online anyways. During work no feeling of nausea. In the afternoon, I was getting extremely tired and risked a nap. Felt worse afterwards, but still not terrible. I have had this phenomenon a couple of times now: when the anxiety and the feeling of being wired is subsiding in a window, I’m getting extremely tired and fatigued. This to me is a very good sign. My poor body is exhausted and in those moments it can relax a bit. Let’s hope the window is not over too soon.

Dear @Nemina how have these past few days been treating you? I truly hope you are keeping well!

I saw the wonderful news in your recent update regarding your son's wedding, such joyous news! Mazal Tov to you and the family, I can only imagine how deeply moving and exciting this time is for all of you.

Thank you once again for your kindness and empathy on my thread, you're truly a wonderful soul 🤍

Thank you dear @Fullhealing ! Yes, it is exciting, but the upcoming wedding also gives me a good measure of anxiety. Lots of guests in the house, trying to function spot on, wanting my daughter-in-law to know that she is welcome and loved and all this during withdrawal….

So far my brain has given me space whenever I needed it most so I do trust that it will happen again. But the whole Mishpacha ❤️ will arrive a week before the wedding and I don’t know if I can sustain for a whole week. 😅

Besides all that, I am very thankful, of course. I am very blessed having two wonderful sons and it makes me very happy that the elder one is now moving back near us and that they all like to visit us and stay with us.

I am very happy to hear that you are doing a little bit better, my brave friend! I keep you in my prayers.

@Nemina Sounds like things are improving for you I am very happy to hear. I hope you enjoy the upcoming events and changes, they all sounds very exciting and a new chapter for you all. xxx

What a journey this withdrawal is. I had such a good day yesterday. Went to bed and suddenly a strong wave hit. I was not thinking anything negative, to the contrary , I was hopeful and doing really OK and then I feel this wave of anxiety and dread washing over me. You would think that there must be some connection with outer events like thinking about something worrisome or anything like that. Only you guys will understand how out of the blue these symptoms hit us. Anyway, the chemical anxiety was getting very strong very suddenly and kept washing in waves over me and through my body. Needless to say I had a very difficult night. I practiced what I know to do in those situations, reminded myself of the presence of the love of God, clinging to what I believe in.

today I’m so disappointed. I always fall in the trap of getting so hopeful when I’m feeling better, even if it is just for a couple hours. I should not set my hope on healing in the near future. So here I am, practicing acceptance again and thankfulness for the things in my life that are good and there are many of those. One of them is this lovely forum with you wonderful people.

1 hour ago, Nemina said:

What a journey this withdrawal is. I had such a good day yesterday. Went to bed and suddenly a strong wave hit. I was not thinking anything negative, to the contrary , I was hopeful and doing really OK and then I feel this wave of anxiety and dread washing over me. You would think that there must be some connection with outer events like thinking about something worrisome or anything like that. Only you guys will understand how out of the blue these symptoms hit us. Anyway, the chemical anxiety was getting very strong very suddenly and kept washing in waves over me and through my body. Needless to say I had a very difficult night. I practiced what I know to do in those situations, reminded myself of the presence of the love of God, clinging to what I believe in.

today I’m so disappointed. I always fall in the trap of getting so hopeful when I’m feeling better, even if it is just for a couple hours. I should not set my hope on healing in the near future. So here I am, practicing acceptance again and thankfulness for the things in my life that are good and there are many of those. One of them is this lovely forum with you wonderful people.

Oh @Nemina so sorry to hear that!

The element of surprise truly is awful, however don't feel bad about soaking up the good moments to the fullest, they are the oxygen that keeps us going and from there hope is drawn.

Keep being so strong my friend and be gentle with yourself today.

sending big comforting hug 🫂

Lots of love dear @Nemina xx

Hope today is a bit better dear @Nemina 🤍

On 9/29/2026 at 5:35 PM, Nemina said:

What a journey this withdrawal is. I had such a good day yesterday. Went to bed and suddenly a strong wave hit. I was not thinking anything negative, to the contrary , I was hopeful and doing really OK and then I feel this wave of anxiety and dread washing over me. You would think that there must be some connection with outer events like thinking about something worrisome or anything like that. Only you guys will understand how out of the blue these symptoms hit us. Anyway, the chemical anxiety was getting very strong very suddenly and kept washing in waves over me and through my body. Needless to say I had a very difficult night. I practiced what I know to do in those situations, reminded myself of the presence of the love of God, clinging to what I believe in.

today I’m so disappointed. I always fall in the trap of getting so hopeful when I’m feeling better, even if it is just for a couple hours. I should not set my hope on healing in the near future. So here I am, practicing acceptance again and thankfulness for the things in my life that are good and there are many of those. One of them is this lovely forum with you wonderful people.

Hi @Nemina ,

Your words you wrote resonates with me so much . I feel exactly the same . One day you can be getting hope then the next day your hit with symptoms out of now where . I feel I could've written this myself .

4 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Hope today is a bit better dear @Nemina 🤍

It is, it actually is, my dear. Thank you for asking, and sending hopeful thoughts back your way., @Fullhealing ❤️

5 minutes ago, cheeky said:

Hi @Nemina ,

Your words you wrote resonates with me so much . I feel exactly the same . One day you can be getting hope then the next day your hit with symptoms out of now where . I feel I could've written this myself .

Thank you, my dear @cheeky ! It means a lot to me that you understand. Sometimes I feel so stupid that I get my hopes up so fast and then in the next bad moment that I fall in such a deep hole. I should have learned by now, but my brain always tricks me... take care!

My window and waves pattern is really crazy right now. Symptoms fluctuating, sudden onset, changing all the time. Two nights now I have been going to bed feeling normal and as soon as I lay down anxiety is ramping up. After a night like that with a few hours of broken sleep, I woke up today with extremely strong and long brain zaps. I felt a bit nauseated and in vertigo from this. Felt safer staying in bed for a while. Ears humming loud. But I was thankful that I did not wake up with this anxiety wave for a change. After lunch, anxiety rising, palpitations, and so on. I feel so stressed. I have to work, prepare for visitors and also I have family stress with somebody trying to create drama against me. I just want to withdraw and have my peace…

1 hour ago, Nemina said:

My window and waves pattern is really crazy right now. Symptoms fluctuating, sudden onset, changing all the time. Two nights now I have been going to bed feeling normal and as soon as I lay down anxiety is ramping up. After a night like that with a few hours of broken sleep, I woke up today with extremely strong and long brain zaps. I felt a bit nauseated and in vertigo from this. Felt safer staying in bed for a while. Ears humming loud. But I was thankful that I did not wake up with this anxiety wave for a change. After lunch, anxiety rising, palpitations, and so on. I feel so stressed. I have to work, prepare for visitors and also I have family stress with somebody trying to create drama against me. I just want to withdraw and have my peace…

So sorry to hear that @Nemina this cycling is so draining particularly when you're trying to prep for the upcoming event and need things to be steady.

Hang in there dear, I'm hoping your system finds its rhythm and brings you some stability real soon.

Massive hug 🫂

18 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

So sorry to hear that @Nemina this cycling is so draining particularly when you're trying to prep for the upcoming event and need things to be steady.

Hang in there dear, I'm hoping your system finds its rhythm and brings you some stability real soon.

Massive hug 🫂

Thank you my friend. I can feel the hug. Helps. ❤️

2 hours ago, Nemina said:

My window and waves pattern is really crazy right now. Symptoms fluctuating, sudden onset, changing all the time. Two nights now I have been going to bed feeling normal and as soon as I lay down anxiety is ramping up. After a night like that with a few hours of broken sleep, I woke up today with extremely strong and long brain zaps. I felt a bit nauseated and in vertigo from this. Felt safer staying in bed for a while. Ears humming loud. But I was thankful that I did not wake up with this anxiety wave for a change. After lunch, anxiety rising, palpitations, and so on. I feel so stressed. I have to work, prepare for visitors and also I have family stress with somebody trying to create drama against me. I just want to withdraw and have my peace…

@Nemina , sorry to hear this. I have pretty much the same symptoms as you, but they are weaker so far. I still get broken sleep, but it doesn't bother me anymore since it is not coming with the psychological symptoms. I just wake up and stay in bed praying with a calm mind..

If symptoms fluctuates constantly, I believe, it is a great sign that you are stabilizing more and better. I have noticed that all my symptoms were persistent and constantly during my first months of hell. Then, they only lasted the morning hours and afternoons feeling better. Then, I noticed that as time went by, symptoms were fluctuating like every hour moving around, and some symptoms will go away and others returned, but not all together at once. So, I think, if you are experiencing this constant fluctuation, I think it's a good sign of almost getting more stability. This is just my observations since I have experienced the same. Now, they are weaker even though I'm not there yet.

Keep holding and move forward. Hold for a little while....

That is very encouraging, thank you, dear @Raymond . Yes, I think we are on a similar trajectory, which is very interesting. I just finished my 24th month of tapering. And I also have taken these drugs for more than 10 years. Currently, I am holding since about six weeks, which is not long compared to the holds that you are doing. I talked to my husband today and he thinks that I am slowly getting better. This was an encouraging feedback since I am so thrown around by these fluctuations that I always think I am healed when it is better and I will never heal when I’m in a wave…. In general, I can say that I have more energy, that the windows are more frequent, that my back pain is much better than it was in the first one and a half years and that I have less nausea. But anxiety, heart, palpitations, sadness, tinnitus, mood swings, and other symptoms are really strong during waves. At the moment the brains zaps have returned, which I don’t mind much. Anyway, there is no way out, I keep going and will decide later when to start tapering again. So far I want to hold.

I believe in the love of God, which helps me a lot. Sending blessings your way!

34 minutes ago, Nemina said:

But anxiety, heart, palpitations, sadness, tinnitus, mood swings, and other symptoms are really strong during waves.

Same symptoms, but weaker. Focus on the positive symptoms. For instance, in 22 months journey and for the first time few days ago, I experienced a laughing with the actual happy emotions. Someone said something funny that made me laugh with tiers.... I haven't gotten this experience since even with medication. It was amazing to feel that joy. So, I'm wondering what else is behind all of this.....

I haven't laughed like that again, but if it happened to me once, it will come back again. Also, my brain feels lighter too, like I just dropped many pounds off my brain..this is another positive change.....

Look at the small positive changes and focus on those. You will become mindfully stronger. Your husband already told you that you look better....

5 hours ago, Nemina said:

My window and waves pattern is really crazy right now. Symptoms fluctuating, sudden onset, changing all the time. Two nights now I have been going to bed feeling normal and as soon as I lay down anxiety is ramping up. After a night like that with a few hours of broken sleep, I woke up today with extremely strong and long brain zaps. I felt a bit nauseated and in vertigo from this. Felt safer staying in bed for a while. Ears humming loud. But I was thankful that I did not wake up with this anxiety wave for a change. After lunch, anxiety rising, palpitations, and so on. I feel so stressed. I have to work, prepare for visitors and also I have family stress with somebody trying to create drama against me. I just want to withdraw and have my peace…

Sending you a warm hug @Nemina .

I hope you get can get some peace and quiet time somehow amongst the life challenges you have.

I wish I could visit you and share a quiet cup of tea. Be kind with yourself right now xxx

Hope your day was gentle on you dear @Nemina

Sending peace and warm 🫂

@Nemina I see your at a very low dose now, I remember back in my earlier tapping and the dose was lower the symptoms seemed to get a bit more intense during waves, especially the anxiety, heart palpitations, and tinnitus were the worst. With all the changes you've gone through you've handled them great. I would agree, it's wonderful when the husband gives you the support and sees the difference in a good way and let's you know, it can be so encouraging. Hugs my friend to continued healing, your doing amazing 🤗❤️

13 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Hope your day was gentle on you dear @Nemina

Sending peace and warm 🫂

Thank you so much my dear friend! Yes the day went quite well! Got some nice neurotransmitters probably from seeing and hugging my son whom I haven’t seen for seven months 💗.

Difficult night, though. Today struggling a bit with symptoms, but I will come through the day. one step at a time.

Hope you can find some peace, @Fullhealing !

Edited October 4Oct 4 by Nemina