4 hours ago, Raymond said:

08/10/2026- 21 months journey,better with ups and downs..

Yesterday was a good day. It wasn't like the day before where I felt like doing a lot of things, but it was less than great and more than good. Somewhere between. I had pretty much same symptoms but less intense. Mostly, muscle stuffiness in few areas. I was able to go and visit a friend and enjoy a dinner after all this time avoiding people. It's crazy how can the body make us avoid social events. It was great to be able to visit and not feel any social panic as I was during the beginning of this journey. I was able to catch up with a lot of things

This morning I woke up around 440am, but went back to as usual until 6am to get ready to work. As I was in bed, I felt this tiredness of deep breathing but at the same time little head pressure and body anxiety. The hot sensation seems to be lower and able to feel the cold of my AC.

I just continue feeling like someone pulling my muscles on my arm, neck, and shoulder but less intense. It's like I'm a Muppet and someone pulling the strings. My motivation seems little better but it also one of dose on and off symptoms. It seems that intensive is lessen a little bit. Many of my symptoms seems to improve quickly when they come. I also enjoy things without the feeling of enjoyment, but it's ok. It will eventually come back.

I'm at month 21 now on this journey. I can't believe that I was at .0750g when I started and now on .0700g reduction as of today which it is about 4.63mg from 5mg. Although it's being slow, I am able to manage and drops are not causing major issues. It still bothers me and it doesn't matter the intensity of WD, I want to feel normal again. Yet, I'm still believe that the body takes longer to feel more normal. I have read stories and many have improved more after even two years and half. Looong! Recovery process.

Yet, I'm glad that my terrible first months of this journey are over. I will say, I'm on normal WD stage. I can tell you that even though I'm still struggling, I feel a lot better than when I was on medication. While on medication on 20mg, my blood pressure was like 140/84-87. After I decided to reduce and be on this journey it's being like 120/74-77. This is an improvement and I still can't believe that doctors don't associate medication with high blood pressure.... unbelievable!!!!!!

I am taking life for granted and every moment is a gift from God.

I also realized that I'm not getting angry any more for even small things.

Let's continue this journey and hope someday, I feel more normal while coming off this medication.

God still heals and we will heal on his time...in Jesus name... Amen...

Afternoon update.....

Time flying today and back feeling hot and little head pressure....

Concentration so far good...

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

08/10/2026- 21 months journey,better with ups and downs..

Yesterday was a good day. It wasn't like the day before where I felt like doing a lot of things, but it was less than great and more than good. Somewhere between. I had pretty much same symptoms but less intense. Mostly, muscle stuffiness in few areas. I was able to go and visit a friend and enjoy a dinner after all this time avoiding people. It's crazy how can the body make us avoid social events. It was great to be able to visit and not feel any social panic as I was during the beginning of this journey. I was able to catch up with a lot of things

This morning I woke up around 440am, but went back to as usual until 6am to get ready to work. As I was in bed, I felt this tiredness of deep breathing but at the same time little head pressure and body anxiety. The hot sensation seems to be lower and able to feel the cold of my AC.

I just continue feeling like someone pulling my muscles on my arm, neck, and shoulder but less intense. It's like I'm a Muppet and someone pulling the strings. My motivation seems little better but it also one of dose on and off symptoms. It seems that intensive is lessen a little bit. Many of my symptoms seems to improve quickly when they come. I also enjoy things without the feeling of enjoyment, but it's ok. It will eventually come back.

I'm at month 21 now on this journey. I can't believe that I was at .0750g when I started and now on .0700g reduction as of today which it is about 4.63mg from 5mg. Although it's being slow, I am able to manage and drops are not causing major issues. It still bothers me and it doesn't matter the intensity of WD, I want to feel normal again. Yet, I'm still believe that the body takes longer to feel more normal. I have read stories and many have improved more after even two years and half. Looong! Recovery process.

Yet, I'm glad that my terrible first months of this journey are over. I will say, I'm on normal WD stage. I can tell you that even though I'm still struggling, I feel a lot better than when I was on medication. While on medication on 20mg, my blood pressure was like 140/84-87. After I decided to reduce and be on this journey it's being like 120/74-77. This is an improvement and I still can't believe that doctors don't associate medication with high blood pressure.... unbelievable!!!!!!

I am taking life for granted and every moment is a gift from God.

I also realized that I'm not getting angry any more for even small things.

Let's continue this journey and hope someday, I feel more normal while coming off this medication.

God still heals and we will heal on his time...in Jesus name... Amen...

@Raymond , this is wonderful that you were able to enjoy some time with your friend and the sleeping sounds like its getting better. The body is truly amazing on healing itself. Slow and steady my friend and you will get there. God bless and have a wonderful day.

08/11/2026- 21 months journey, recovery process, waves a little shorter, ups and downs...

Yesterday was another good day. I had a little head pressure, and muscle pain, but little weaker.

the headache is being gone again for days now.

In the afternoon hours, I did try to take a nap and after 30 minutes, I jumped into panic, but this time it was a very mild panic.

I went to sleep around 10:30pm after celebrating my son's birthday and eating carrot cake. I woke up around 230am, but went back to sleep as usual and woke up around 6:10am without cortisol spike. Brain felt little anxious.

What i have noticed in my waves is that they are weaker and usually resolves quickly too. For instance, my shoulder muscle pain used to be there for hours, but now, it comes for like few minutes and then transfer to another area of body. This is what I have been experiencing in the past few weeks. The pain doesn't stay in one area long. It moves around. Same with the fear sensation. It is a lot weaker and it's on and off.

21 months journey and I continue moving forward. So far, when I taper, it seems that WD is shorter and resolves quickly....let see how I continue holding and tapering and increasing my reduce percentage.

One thing I can tell you is that I feel better despite the journey.....I feel more connected to everything even when I still don't feel the enjoyment...

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will heal...

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

08/11/2026- 21 months journey, recovery process, waves a little shorter, ups and downs...

Yesterday was another good day. I had a little head pressure, and muscle pain, but little weaker.

the headache is being gone again for days now.

In the afternoon hours, I did try to take a nap and after 30 minutes, I jumped into panic, but this time it was a very mild panic.

I went to sleep around 10:30pm after celebrating my son's birthday and eating carrot cake. I woke up around 230am, but went back to sleep as usual and woke up around 6:10am without cortisol spike. Brain felt little anxious.

What i have noticed in my waves is that they are weaker and usually resolves quickly too. For instance, my shoulder muscle pain used to be there for hours, but now, it comes for like few minutes and then transfer to another area of body. This is what I have been experiencing in the past few weeks. The pain doesn't stay in one area long. It moves around. Same with the fear sensation. It is a lot weaker and it's on and off.

21 months journey and I continue moving forward. So far, when I taper, it seems that WD is shorter and resolves quickly....let see how I continue holding and tapering and increasing my reduce percentage.

One thing I can tell you is that I feel better despite the journey.....I feel more connected to everything even when I still don't feel the enjoyment...

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will heal...

Afternoon update.....

Time flying.....this is always a good sign 💪

Ooh my 21 months already, @Raymond you must be so excited, can't wait to read your success in the feature

4 hours ago, Bernadette said:

can't wait to read your success

Oh I can't wait, but it might take me like 5 years to go to zero from 4.68mg. let see as I increase my reduction.

Your doing great, slow and steady is the new fast. Your doing amazing @Raymond

08/13/2026- recovery process continues, 21 months journey....

Yesterday, i worked from office, and it was relaxed with minor smaller issues. I noticed that I rarely felt the muscle pains. I did experienced a 20 minutes small headache that stayed in the background and resolved quicker than other times . My concentration was good as well. It seems that I managed going to office pretty good.

Last night I went to sleep around 11pm and slept through until 530am when my alarm sounded, but then felt asleep again until 640am. This is something I have been experiencing more often these past days where I sleep through the night.

Also, I don't know if this is improvement, but in the last couple of days, after I eat lunch, I get sleepy. I had this bed medication and after my WD, it was lost. But I just noticed that I have been getting sleep after lunch. I will consider this another positive change..

Overall, I have minor and weaker symptoms so far. Mostly my muscles pain, little intrusive thoughts, headache, etc, but less intense and less frequent. Fear sensation is also in the background less intense and I mostly feel it in stomach area...

Other than, I have improved. My brain and heart feels more relaxed and I am not panicking in stressful situations neither. I still get little anxious, but not panicking. I'm still not there, but one day at a time ...

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will heal...

@Raymond this is absolutely glorious new to hear. I to my friend call these shifts in my system, I've had 3 shifts over the last 77 months and all were improvements for the better. You are are definitely on your way and doing excellent. God bless my friend to many more glorious days. 😊

1 minute ago, Bernadette said:

@Raymond this is absolutely glorious new to hear. I to my friend call these shifts in my system, I've had 3 shifts over the last 77 months and all were improvements for the better. You are are definitely on your way and doing excellent. God bless my friend to many more glorious days. 😊

Oops, it was supposed to say 7months Not 77, sorry about the typo, stupid smart phone 🤣🤣

5 minutes ago, Bernadette said:

77 months and all were improvements

4 minutes ago, Bernadette said:

Oops, it was supposed to say 7months Not 77, sorry about the typo, stupid smart phone 🤣🤣

😂 I was going to say 77 months???? You will get there. The good thing is that you are already off medication. Psychologically, less stress and don't have to deal with the tapering. I hope one day, be off and doesn't have to deal with this medication.....one day at a time ..

I hope you get to write your success story soon...

On 8/12/2026 at 3:06 AM, Bernadette said:

slow and steady is the new fast

I am glad my phrase from SA is catching on...lol

Slow is the new fast. 🤣🤣🤣

18 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

I am glad my phrase from SA is catching on...lol

Slow is the new fast. 🤣🤣🤣

Yes your phrase slow is the new fast. It definitely is the new moto. Thank you @LostinCanada

1 hour ago, LostinCanada said:

I am glad my phrase from SA is catching on...lol

Slow is the new fast. 🤣🤣🤣

@LostinCanada ...indeed. as much as I hate this medication, I have to go slow....we will get there eventually.... 🤗 💕

08/14/2026- 21 months recovery process continues..... average days good to better..

Yesterday was a great day again.

Today, I woke up at almost 6am due to alarm, but continued in bed relaxed until 730am.

No cortisol

Feeling sleepy

Very mild Head anxiousness

Same same and same but weaker.

Sugar cravings stop again, but now, I'm feeling hungry like if I have never eaten

Overall, doing well so far after my last reductions...

Let's keep going

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

08/14/2026- 21 months recovery process continues..... average days good to better..

Yesterday was a great day again.

Today, I woke up at almost 6am due to alarm, but continued in bed relaxed until 730am.

No cortisol

Feeling sleepy

Very mild Head anxiousness

Same same and same but weaker.

Sugar cravings stop again, but now, I'm feeling hungry like if I have never eaten

Overall, doing well so far after my last reductions...

Let's keep going

That's nice to hear I hope you keep getting more windows....how are you?

13 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

That's nice to hear I hope you keep getting more windows....how are you?

@wheretogonow . Thank you. So far, it's being good. I still struggling with windows and waves, but overall, a lot of improvements. This morning was not as good as yesterday, but it is not as bad as previous months. One day at a time...

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

@wheretogonow . Thank you. So far, it's being good. I still struggling with windows and waves, but overall, a lot of improvements. This morning was not as good as yesterday, but it is not as bad as previous months. One day at a time...

Glad you see progress though. What happened this morning?

1 hour ago, wheretogonow said:

Glad you see progress though. What happened this morning?

This morning, I got intrusive thoughts again and mostly an issue with my mother in law. I woke up around 6am with this crawling and anxiety sensation in my brain. It went away the minute I woke up. the good thing is that I'm not getting the headache pressure....

08/16/2026- ups and downs, seems that I can handle stress better but I'm not there yet ..

In the last two days, it's being the same feeling ok and good. Sleeping the same.

I have been little stressful for a personal situation that seems to continue to come up, but the good thing is that I am not on hight anxiety as I used to be. I'm still anxious, but way a lot less. Im not there yet, but I have to accept that I cannot change anyone and everyone can do what they want as long as I set my boundaries.....even in family members.....

Overall, I have seeing improvement as well.

08/17/2026- 21 months, ups and downs, on a wave today....

Well, I am on a wave with muscle pain on neck, shoulder, back, legs. Also, feeling little burning sensation again in left arm area, little anxiousness, intrusive thoughts, I feel going backwards even though it's healing. I will avoid issues as much as I can since I also feel like there is some anger sensation in the background..

Let see how I improve again in the name of Jesus Christ ñ...

So sorry for the rough day and the personal issues that must be adding fuel.

You are 💯 right @Raymond we have no control over others, they will continue to do their own thing even if it touches our bare nerves, we can only work on our attitude and build a healthy boundaries which I know is very, very challenging when it comes to a family, I'm sure we all have one or two who are stuck like a thorn in the .. work in progress for all of us!

In any case, I hope this resolves quickly and gives you some well deserve peace.

Keep being great warrior!

Edited August 17Aug 17 by Fullhealing

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

So sorry for the rough day and the personal issues that must be adding fuel.

You are 💯 right @Raymond we have no control over others, they will continue to do their own thing even if it touches our bare nerves, we can only work on our attitude and build a healthy boundaries which I know is very, very challenging when it comes to a family, I'm sure we all have one or two who are stuck like a thorn in the .. work in progress for all of us!

In any case, I hope this resolves quickly and gives you some well deserve peace.

Keep being great warrior!

Thanks @Fullhealing . Before medication, I was never like this. I was able to tolerate a lot with no problems. Having a sensitive symptom makes things more complicated than what it is, and all we can do is to just let symptoms float.....what a journey!!!!!

2 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Having a sensitive symptom makes things more complicated than what it is, and all we can do is to just let symptoms float.....what a journey!!!!!

That's so true, @Raymond ! Floating and acceptance sound so simple but they're so hard to adopt. But they're the keys to not letting the intrusive thoughts dominate our thinking. Hoping you hit a window soon!

9 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

Floating and acceptance sound so simple but they're so hard to adop

Totally true! I just figured that when I have stronger bad feelings about some that it's not me. it just the systems overreacting while going through the wave. Terrible feelings, but only way out is to hold and swallowed everything with patience....hard to do, but doing it as much as I can....

Edited August 17Aug 17 by Raymond
Adding comments

35 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Thanks @Fullhealing . Before medication, I was never like this. I was able to tolerate a lot with no problems. Having a sensitive symptom makes things more complicated than what it is, and all we can do is to just let symptoms float.....what a journey!!!!!

I know same here, these chemicals strip us of the thinnest layer of skin, what once came so naturally feels like it's gone, but we have an amazing neuroplastic organ that will slowly rebuild into an improved model.