06/23/2026- ups and downs continues....

Yesterday was not a bad day. Not a great day, And specially in the morning as usual.

Today, I got to sleep again until 6am. I think I went to sleep around 1030pm and slept through until 6am. This is also positive because I usually wake up few times during the night. I have noticed that I have slept through more often in my last 19 months then any days including while in medication.

I am able to work, but my thoughts are all over. I am trying to focus in one job assignment at a time. Little slow today, mild anxiousness sensation, etc....just another day.

Overall, I might have improved in other areas while continuing having same symptoms but weaker....

Let's continue moving forward.....in the name of Jesus Christ who is my strength.....

06/24/2026- mild headache, and same old same, ups and downs...

Yesterday was a good day. I definitely missed my 9 weeks of feeling great. It will all come back..

I slept straight through 530am and stayed in bed and probably slept little longer. I did wake up with the mild Headache on my left side, but I also feels a mild pressure on Left eye.

Little ear pressure moving from left to right..

My anxiousness is lower so far.

My main symptom is the headache that it's being up and down and not every day, and I do feel little slow, and mild hot sensation in different part of the body.

Basically, same old symptoms.....

In the name of Jesus, we will heal...

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

06/24/2026- mild headache, and same old same, ups and downs...

Yesterday was a good day. I definitely missed my 9 weeks of feeling great. It will all come back..

I slept straight through 530am and stayed in bed and probably slept little longer. I did wake up with the mild Headache on my left side, but I also feels a mild pressure on Left eye.

Little ear pressure moving from left to right..

My anxiousness is lower so far.

My main symptom is the headache that it's being up and down and not every day, and I do feel little slow, and mild hot sensation in different part of the body.

Basically, same old symptoms.....

In the name of Jesus, we will heal...

Update.... headache is now too of head and eyes area....just weird..

Sending some love @Raymond so up and down this journey, you'll get there, windows and waves.

06/25/2026- same old same....

Yesterday was headache day. It started on left side around ear area. Then, it moved to front around eyes area. I felt pressure on that area. Then, as day continued, it was moving from left to right until around 6pm when I felt better.

This morning, I woke up 530am again. No headache so far, but I still feel things moving in my brain. Like mild crawling sensation. My concentration is not good, but not bad. Feeling little hot on my back on and off, and just blah..

My 9 consecutive weeks feeling great are gone. It will all come back eventually...

I'm the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal..

It's crazy how such a small reduction can cause such a mess. It is good you are being careful and taking it slow. 💯🙏

06/26/2026- 19 months journey, ups and downs recovery process...

Yesterday was a better day and no headache. I just felt energized and blah moments at the same time. Main symptom was feeling hot on and off and like lazy or something. My cognitive skills weren't perfect.

This morning, I woke up at 6am with no cortisol, but feeling hot and crawling sensation in few areas on my body. It seems that the hot sensation control be the main symptom. I also noticed that my hunger sensation is gone again. The hot sensation is mostly on my back and stomach area. Sometimes, it moves around to my left arm as well. Muscle pain is less intense and it moves around as well, but it's more like if someone is pinching me...

I also noticed in my last few days that although I wake up early, I have been sleeping through the night. Even when on medication, I was waking up briefly during the night few times. In the last few days, I have slept through until I wake up again with the cortisol issues.

I guess during this process, I can get better in few areas for few days and get worst in other areas. Symptoms fluctuation is part of the journey.

Well, I hope I start feeling better again and this hot or burning sensation goes away again...

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal...

06/29/2026- last two days were better. Ups and downs continues.....

in the last two days, I slept better and woke up between 630am to 7:15am. My symptoms were moderate, and headache is being gone again

I went to sleep around 1030pm. I woke up again around 530am, no cortisol, but intrusive thoughts on one particular stressor that I used to handle very well before medication. Unfortunately, having a sensitive system makes things worst than what it is. It seems that the fear sensation is in the background again, but mild sensation.

Overall, it's being three weeks since I reduced. I continue holding for two more weeks and do another bigger cuts.

Unfortunately, the only way out is to continue going down and managing withdrawal as best as we can as long as we can properly function....

Continuing symptoms on and off ....

Muscle pain (mild)

Feeling hot on my back (mild)

Intrusive thoughts (moderate)

Anxiousness (moderate)

Cortisol (mild)

Fear sensation (mild)

Lack of concentration (Mild)

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

Unfortunately, the only way out is to continue going down and managing withdrawal as best as we can as long as we can properly function....

As terrible as it may seem, this is the essence of recovery. The only way out is through. You are wise to follow a slow and steady path and to take each day as it comes. I wish you continued healing!

44 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

You are wise to follow a slow and steady path

Indeed, I just don't want to spend 20 years to get out of it. So far. I am doing good thanks God. I need to be able to at least reduce between 3 to 4% so I can complete the journey in 5 years or less....

I think I can do it.....I'm just increasing my reduce dose every 3 to 6 weeks until I reach my goal...

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

06/29/2026- last two days were better. Ups and downs continues.....

in the last two days, I slept better and woke up between 630am to 7:15am. My symptoms were moderate, and headache is being gone again

I went to sleep around 1030pm. I woke up again around 530am, no cortisol, but intrusive thoughts on one particular stressor that I used to handle very well before medication. Unfortunately, having a sensitive system makes things worst than what it is. It seems that the fear sensation is in the background again, but mild sensation.

Overall, it's being three weeks since I reduced. I continue holding for two more weeks and do another bigger cuts.

Unfortunately, the only way out is to continue going down and managing withdrawal as best as we can as long as we can properly function....

Continuing symptoms on and off ....

Muscle pain (mild)

Feeling hot on my back (mild)

Intrusive thoughts (moderate)

Anxiousness (moderate)

Cortisol (mild)

Fear sensation (mild)

Lack of concentration (Mild)

Update.... Things being looking good....thanks God.

Just in case someone wonders when my four weeks starts before reducing again, I want to say that I wait 3 to 4 weeks from my first withdrawal symptoms when they showed up, not from the date of the pill reduction. Sometimes , I can have delays and symptoms showing up later in a week or so. If I don't get withdrawal or withdrawals are just mild, then, I count my four weeks from the reduction of my pill.

Just a piece of advise...

Edited June 29Jun 29 by Raymond
Adding comments

06/30/2026- recovery process continues.

Yesterday was a good day with mild symptoms. The main symptom that came back was the left side headache, but it was mild and for like 30 minutes.

I went to sleep around 11pm and woke up at 615am. I had same mild symptoms. The main one this morning was intrusive thoughts. I even dreamed about people who I had issues in old job. It's weird how the unconscious bring backs memories from people who I haven't dealt with in a long time ..maybe, it is just an unresolved emotions....

Other than that. It's being stable and mild ups and down.

Next cut in about 9 days will be from .0708g to .0700g. it's about 1.10% cut....

In Jesus Christ name, we will heal..

07/01/2026- .0706g- reduction and recovery process....

Yesterday was another good day and mostly muscle pain on my back shoulder, and the headache came back for like 20 minutes in the afternoon but mild. I probably had other issues that I might not even pay attention.

I also reduced another .0002g for now making it from .0708g to .0706g (.23%). I'm planning to stay on this small reduction for another 10 days. Then, drop to .0700g and stay there for three weeks....let see the brass monkey method...I'm just continuing testing myself. The truth is that every time I drop, I feel better. Like some heavy stuff being taken away from me. Of course, I get withdrawal after that, but I'm hoping everything will be manageable....

Last night, I went to sleep around 11pm. I did woke up for a minute around 330am, but I went back to sleep right away. Then, my alarm sounded around 545am to get ready for morning prayer and work....

Currently, I'm feeling the morning blah as usual with mild symptoms. Main symptom continues to be feeling hot on my back, and few intrusive thoughts. Anxiousness and anxiety sensation is at a lower level and it's an on and off situation. Fear sensation is being out for weeks although I feel like it wants to come back. It is sometimes there, but it's not showing up. Hard to explain...

I'm hoping that as I go down, many bothering symptoms might fade away completely. I'm hoping...

Other than that, I continue to be good....

Let's continue praying and hoping Jesus Christ will answer our prayers.....

13 hours ago, Raymond said:

07/01/2026- .0706g- reduction and recovery process....

Yesterday was another good day and mostly muscle pain on my back shoulder, and the headache came back for like 20 minutes in the afternoon but mild. I probably had other issues that I might not even pay attention.

I also reduced another .0002g for now making it from .0708g to .0706g (.23%). I'm planning to stay on this small reduction for another 10 days. Then, drop to .0700g and stay there for three weeks....let see the brass monkey method...I'm just continuing testing myself. The truth is that every time I drop, I feel better. Like some heavy stuff being taken away from me. Of course, I get withdrawal after that, but I'm hoping everything will be manageable....

Last night, I went to sleep around 11pm. I did woke up for a minute around 330am, but I went back to sleep right away. Then, my alarm sounded around 545am to get ready for morning prayer and work....

Currently, I'm feeling the morning blah as usual with mild symptoms. Main symptom continues to be feeling hot on my back, and few intrusive thoughts. Anxiousness and anxiety sensation is at a lower level and it's an on and off situation. Fear sensation is being out for weeks although I feel like it wants to come back. It is sometimes there, but it's not showing up. Hard to explain...

I'm hoping that as I go down, many bothering symptoms might fade away completely. I'm hoping...

Other than that, I continue to be good....

Let's continue praying and hoping Jesus Christ will answer our prayers.....

So far good with muscle pain in few areas. Mental or psychological symptoms so far no issues

07/03/2026- same ups and down. Nothing major recovery process....

Yesterday was a good day. I pretty much had muscle pain mostly on my shoulder and next area.

This morning, I woke up at 545am due to my alarm to get ready. I felt mild brain anxiety as usual. It's an on and off symptom as well. Some mornings better than others. Muscle pain on and off. Many of my symptoms lately being more psychical than psychological....

Three days ago, I did a small reduction of .0002g because when shaving my pill, I took a little to much. So I decided to just reduce it from .0708g to .0706g. in two more weeks I am doing a 1.5 to 2% cut. So far. It's being manageable and mild since my last four reductions ..

Overall, doing well with same old symptoms.

12 hours ago, Raymond said:

07/03/2026- same ups and down. Nothing major recovery process....

Yesterday was a good day. I pretty much had muscle pain mostly on my shoulder and next area.

This morning, I woke up at 545am due to my alarm to get ready. I felt mild brain anxiety as usual. It's an on and off symptom as well. Some mornings better than others. Muscle pain on and off. Many of my symptoms lately being more psychical than psychological....

Three days ago, I did a small reduction of .0002g because when shaving my pill, I took a little to much. So I decided to just reduce it from .0708g to .0706g. in two more weeks I am doing a 1.5 to 2% cut. So far. It's being manageable and mild since my last four reductions ..

Overall, doing well with same old symptoms.

Same ..

Enjoying the world cup....my team going to the next to round

07/06/2026- recovery process continues.

Yesterday was a good day. Vi continue to be stable. Same old symptoms. I continue to wake up between 530 to 630am. Some mornings with mild brain anxiety and other days just no brain anxiety or anxiousness.

This morning, I woke up around 530am again, but I felt back to sleep around 715 until 940am. My body just felt tired and I even had a dream too. It's being long since I have felt this desire of just staying in bed.

I will be 20 months on this journey. It seems a lot, but it is not. My body continues to heal. I have improved in few areas, but I'm not there yet. No more nine consecutive weeks feeling great. Those great weeks will eventually comes back.

My current bothering symptoms continues to be the same, but mild and manageable..

Hot sensation on my back- it has reduced a little bit.

Muscle pain - it's manageable and it fluctuates from one area of body to next. The area that it is most affected is my shoulder back area and neck. pretty much upper body.

Anxiousness on and off

Anhedonia is one symptom that many people have and don't like. In my case, it's on and off, but most of the time I do things without enjoyment. However, it doesn't bother me.

Fear sensation - it's being on and off, but very very mild or rare.

Overall, physical symptoms are the main ones. I feel 150 years old in a 50 year old body....all my bodes sometimes crack too ... 😂

In the Jesus Christ name, we will all heal...patience, acceptance, and time are the only way out of this...

Hanging there....

07/07/2026- same ups and downs with little possible improvements....

Yesterday was another good day with same ups and downs, but little less intense. I continue having muscle pain, but it's more like pintches here and there. Anxiousness or anxiety is mild but still there and also on and off, but not every day. My sleep continues to be the same.

Before medication, I used to enjoyed watching movies after 11pm and stayed late before going to sleep. In the last three days, I have had the desire to stay longer to watch tv. I don't know if it is good or not, but I felt better on this aspect. I think I went to sleep around 12am. I can't do this a lot more be I'm still waking up between 530 to 630am...so, I will stick to 10pm going to bed ..

This morning, I woke up around 530am, got ready for my morning prayer. I feel just little morning anxiousness about work, but I can tell is a lot less intense. I also feel like positive, less scared, motivated, like I am not spending to much thinking about my symptoms. I feel like I'm somewhat ignoring it a lot more lately. Is it good or bad. I don't know.

I am entering into my 20 months journey. Not even two years yet and I see how far I have come to be on this journey. I think my last 6 months were a lot better. I am able to do things I used to enjoyed even though the actual feeling of enjoyment is still not there. It will eventually comes back again....

I hope everyone is doing well and continue on this healing journey. thanks to everyone that have contributed to my healing process.

One thing that I have noticed definitely in the last few months is that I am becoming more resilient and mentally stronger. I can't even describe it. I still hate the same symptoms coming on and off, and I won't complain. I hope one day, all of this, will just be on my past and open a new brighter door for me in the near future....

Thanks to @Fullhealing who posted videos of someone who recovered and assured us that healing is possible...

Hang in there everyone. We will let time passes by. Patience, acceptance, float, and time are our best friends during recovery.....

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

07/07/2026- same ups and downs with little possible improvements....

Yesterday was another good day with same ups and downs, but little less intense. I continue having muscle pain, but it's more like pintches here and there. Anxiousness or anxiety is mild but still there and also on and off, but not every day. My sleep continues to be the same.

Before medication, I used to enjoyed watching movies after 11pm and stayed late before going to sleep. In the last three days, I have had the desire to stay longer to watch tv. I don't know if it is good or not, but I felt better on this aspect. I think I went to sleep around 12am. I can't do this a lot more be I'm still waking up between 530 to 630am...so, I will stick to 10pm going to bed ..

This morning, I woke up around 530am, got ready for my morning prayer. I feel just little morning anxiousness about work, but I can tell is a lot less intense. I also feel like positive, less scared, motivated, like I am not spending to much thinking about my symptoms. I feel like I'm somewhat ignoring it a lot more lately. Is it good or bad. I don't know.

I am entering into my 20 months journey. Not even two years yet and I see how far I have come to be on this journey. I think my last 6 months were a lot better. I am able to do things I used to enjoyed even though the actual feeling of enjoyment is still not there. It will eventually comes back again....

I hope everyone is doing well and continue on this healing journey. thanks to everyone that have contributed to my healing process.

One thing that I have noticed definitely in the last few months is that I am becoming more resilient and mentally stronger. I can't even describe it. I still hate the same symptoms coming on and off, and I won't complain. I hope one day, all of this, will just be on my past and open a new brighter door for me in the near future....

Thanks to @Fullhealing who posted videos of someone who recovered and assured us that healing is possible...

Hang in there everyone. We will let time passes by. Patience, acceptance, float, and time are our best friends during recovery.....

Update..

Mild headache back neck area...

07/08/2026- same old same.....concentration is in space today...

Well, not much to tell today. I am lacking of concentration today. I'm in space somewhere between earth and mars.....

I'm trying to work and understand what I'm reading today ....all other symptoms are still up and down, or on and off. It's being like this for the past 9 days or something....

And I'm officially at 20 months journey..... WOW! Although its 20 months on this journey, it is still relatively short time to completely feel better. Yet, I'm in a better position than many, many months ago. Slow process ..

Just moving forward.... feeling mentally stronger and less afraid..... 💪

In Jesus Christ name, we will heal...

11 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Yet, I'm in a better position than many, many months ago. Slow process ..

Just moving forward.... feeling mentally stronger and less afraid..... 💪

That's the ticket--recovery isn't measured from one day to the next, its measured in months. Despite the struggles, you're doing great staying focused on the long term. You're getting there!

Hi @Raymond, it was nice meeting you online a couple weeks back from our old SA group. You are managing well working while having these different symptoms. And I have seen quite an improvement. I am so glad for that for you! Prayers continued for yours and all of our healing here on AR and all the other countless forums where people are gathered for support. ✝️🤗🕊️

07/09/2026- 20 months journey......same ups and downs.

One thing that I have noticed in my last four months is that I have been getting more often the desire and the good feeling of staying in bed just relaxing. The feeling that you get on a Sunday morning where you just want to stay in bed relaxing and do nothing but to relax. I got it again today, but unfortunately I have to work. I have experienced this more often in the last four months, at least. Five or six times.

Other than that, same ups and downs, same daily symptoms on and off but mild to ok....

It's seems that when I get bad, it resolve relatively quicker.

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will eventually heal. It seems that I can handle 1.5% reduction so far....next I will increase again. Every time I reduce, I feel my brain better despite the withdrawal symptoms.

07/10/2026- 20 moths journey. Same ups and downs with mild symptoms.

Yesterday, I felt pretty much better physically and mentally.

Today, I did experienced a mild anxiety and panic attack for like few seconds. Then. It left me chest fatigue emptyness sensation for like 39 minutes until it slowly faded away and my energy came back ...

Other than, it seems my waves are lasting any where from like seconds to mostly and hour....

I'm still sensitive to others people issues that somehow, it affects me too. Like if someone screams behind, my body will still react to it negatively...but I have seeing progress...

In the name of Jesus Christ, we will heal and become stronger ...

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

I'm still sensitive to others people issues that somehow, it affects me too. Like if someone screams behind, my body will still react to it negatively...but I have seeing progress...

I experienced that as well. It seems to be some kind of empathetic reaction--we feel what others do. Maybe because our systems are still hypersensitive and pick the emotions of those around us.