05/25/2026- cortisol again l, but I was able to sleep a little bit more

This morning, I woke up again with the cortisol at 530am. I felt the mild anxiety in my brain with thoughts. The minute I open my eyes. It was gone. Then, five minutes later, I was able to sleep a little bit more.

Currently, I'm feeling little better than yesterday. Just mild on and off symptoms. The main symptom today is back ground fear sensation, but it's like it's there and doesn't come out. Nothing major but just bothers me and little hot sensation.

Symptoms are not strong, but bothers me a little bit.

Other than that, I'm heading to the trails with family.

On the positive side, on every drop, I have felt more connected with me and anxiety doesn't spike. I feel a little more normal.

8 hours ago, Raymond said:

05/25/2026- cortisol again l, but I was able to sleep a little bit more

This morning, I woke up again with the cortisol at 530am. I felt the mild anxiety in my brain with thoughts. The minute I open my eyes. It was gone. Then, five minutes later, I was able to sleep a little bit more.

Currently, I'm feeling little better than yesterday. Just mild on and off symptoms. The main symptom today is back ground fear sensation, but it's like it's there and doesn't come out. Nothing major but just bothers me and little hot sensation.

Symptoms are not strong, but bothers me a little bit.

Other than that, I'm heading to the trails with family.

On the positive side, on every drop, I have felt more connected with me and anxiety doesn't spike. I feel a little more normal.

Update....

In the last two days despite the few bumps, I have noticed that I can read something interesting and feel relaxed....

On 5/24/2026 at 4:09 PM, Raymond said:

Update....

Morning a little bumpy ride, but now, I'm seating at a BbQ place eating a nice full loaded potato with brisket with wife and no kids...... 😂

Won't complain

So wonderful you can enjoy being with your family. The simple things really are joyful!

15 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

So wonderful you can enjoy being with your family. The simple things really are joyful!

As long as I continue experiencing positive symptoms, I will continue dropping.

05/26/2026- cortisol spike with brain anxiety, but deep sleep continues and no waking up in the middle of the night...

Yesterday was a good day despite mild bumpy short issues.

I woke up again with the cortisol spike at 530am, but I slept from 10pm to 530am straight with the deep breathing feeling. I don't think when I was on medication I felt this before.

Let see how I feel during the day. I hope things continue to improve and I continue to feel better and better.

Yesterday, I noticed that I was able to read a book and felt relaxed.

Let see in the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal.

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

05/26/2026- cortisol spike with brain anxiety, but deep sleep continues and no waking up in the middle of the night...

Yesterday was a good day despite mild bumpy short issues.

I woke up again with the cortisol spike at 530am, but I slept from 10pm to 530am straight with the deep breathing feeling. I don't think when I was on medication I felt this before.

Let see how I feel during the day. I hope things continue to improve and I continue to feel better and better.

Yesterday, I noticed that I was able to read a book and felt relaxed.

Let see in the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal.

This is so wonderful, I’m happy for you. I had one single morning, two weeks ago, when I woke up feeling relaxed and able to breathe deeply. I wonder if that is something that will come back, this ability to breathe deeply. Haven’t had it for years, obviously, at least I can’t remember, and haven’t had it since this one time the morning so far.

3 hours ago, Nemina said:

woke up feeling relaxed and able to breathe deeply. I wonder if that is something that will come back, this ability to breathe deeply. Haven’t had it for years, obviously, at least I can’t remember,

@Nemina now that I think of it, I haven't had this deep breathing feeling in a loopoong time. I lost it when I went on medication. During my 18 months journey, I experienced it only like three times, but just in the last two or three weeks, it's being more constantly. It's a great feeling to have. I'm wondering what else did I loose during medication that it might come back again.

You will have the deep breathing coming back. At the beginning, I had it two times, but it disappeared for many months. I am just expressing it more often lately....

5 hours ago, Raymond said:

05/26/2026- cortisol spike with brain anxiety, but deep sleep continues and no waking up in the middle of the night...

Yesterday was a good day despite mild bumpy short issues.

I woke up again with the cortisol spike at 530am, but I slept from 10pm to 530am straight with the deep breathing feeling. I don't think when I was on medication I felt this before.

Let see how I feel during the day. I hope things continue to improve and I continue to feel better and better.

Yesterday, I noticed that I was able to read a book and felt relaxed.

Let see in the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal.

Morning update....

Mild anxiousness, and mild intrusive thoughts, and feeling tired.

Tomorrow, I will have to go to office and work from there since a lightning strike too out my satelite Dish and technician will not come until Friday. I'm still work anxious, so I'm expecting a lot of walk this week.

Good luck with work @Raymond shame about your internet! You have been doing great it’s been nice to see. More to come!

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

Let see in the name of Jesus Christ, we will all heal.

Amen @Raymond

6 hours ago, Chippy said:

Good luck with work @Raymond shame about your internet! You have been doing great it’s been nice to see. More to come!

Thanks, at the same time, i will see how much I have healed depending on the symptoms tomorrow... 😂....so far. I have been doing well. But there still things that I need to avoid...

7 hours ago, Raymond said:

Morning update....

Mild anxiousness, and mild intrusive thoughts, and feeling tired.

Tomorrow, I will have to go to office and work from there since a lightning strike too out my satelite Dish and technician will not come until Friday. I'm still work anxious, so I'm expecting a lot of walk this week.

Update..

11 hours ago, Raymond said:

Morning update....

Mild anxiousness, and mild intrusive thoughts, and feeling tired.

Tomorrow, I will have to go to office and work from there since a lightning strike too out my satelite Dish and technician will not come until Friday. I'm still work anxious, so I'm expecting a lot of walk this week.

Not a bad day after all. Let see how it goes tomorrow at the office. Unfortunately, my Internet won't get fixed until Friday. So I have to go office...

05/27/2026- anxiety and chest pressure work anticipation....

As I predicted, I woke up with this going to office anxiety. My brain woke me even before 5am. Cortisol spike, little chest pressure as I hope, once I get through this morning, I hope things will settle down again. Morning continues to be my issue. Today is my first day at work after two weeks vacation.

It seems, I will be drinking a lot of chamomile and lavender tea. Hopefully, this exaggerating symptom diminished and I can have just a normal day at work. And I hope my Internet gets fixed quicker...

Let see how the morning goes....

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

05/27/2026- anxiety and chest pressure work anticipation....

As I predicted, I woke up with this going to office anxiety. My brain woke me even before 5am. Cortisol spike, little chest pressure as I hope, once I get through this morning, I hope things will settle down again. Morning continues to be my issue. Today is my first day at work after two weeks vacation.

It seems, I will be drinking a lot of chamomile and lavender tea. Hopefully, this exaggerating symptom diminished and I can have just a normal day at work. And I hope my Internet gets fixed quicker...

Let see how the morning goes....

Afternoon update....

I started to feel better around 9am. Office is being peaceful, but my body doesn't know that yet. It's better....

I can't believe something that I have enjoyed coming to office, my system is just crazy....

2 hours ago, Raymond said:

Afternoon update....

I started to feel better around 9am. Office is being peaceful, but my body doesn't know that yet. It's better....

I can't believe something that I have enjoyed coming to office, my system is just crazy....

Now little headache, but no fear, or anxiety. It's like symptoms playing with me. However, no strong symptoms and despite everything, I definitely feel my brain better. It's been three days or more that I can concentrate on what I'm doing.

So my advice to everyone is to focus on the symptoms that are improving rather than the constantly daily symptoms which are weakening slowly....

55 minutes ago, Raymond said:

So my advice to everyone is to focus on the symptoms that are improving rather than the constantly daily symptoms which are weakening slowly....

Great advice, @Raymond ! Its so easy to focus on the negatives, we miss the small improvements that tell us we're recovering,

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

Now little headache, but no fear, or anxiety. It's like symptoms playing with me. However, no strong symptoms and despite everything, I definitely feel my brain better. It's been three days or more that I can concentrate on what I'm doing.

So my advice to everyone is to focus on the symptoms that are improving rather than the constantly daily symptoms which are weakening slowly....

Update...

Little bumpy this morning and office work went well and fast. I did develop the headache slowly and at 5pm. It was little intense with little muscular pain.. However, around 6Pm, it went away and I felt even better. I felt my brain relaxed, calm, etc. I just can't explain, but I just felt more connected....

Overall, I have improved a lot and I don't want to talk much, but I think I am finally getting to feel 90%. I just can't explain. I also sometimes feels dizzy but at the same time, I'm calmer and brain relax.....

Weird!!!!!.... 😂 🤔

05/28/2026- progress continues with few bumps....

Yesterday, I was developing headache. By 530pm, it got worst for few minutes. After those few minutes, I felt little dizzy for a second and then suddenly, everything just gone. Like nothing happened and I felt even better after that

I went to sleep around 9pm and woke up with the cortisol spike in my brain around 4am, but I went back to sleep until 530am to get ready for work.

After that. I felt good. But little anxious. What in noticed today is that the love of my work returned. I feel good about my job now. I continued seeing improvement in my brain and concentration is a lot better. It's being days now that I am able to do my job without feeling panic, or numb...also. When panic attacks my brain, I am able to control it and get rid of those panic thoughts in seconds

What I have also noticed these last days, I am not getting angry anymore about anything....

I still have bumps in the road ahead, but I am just trying to change my perspective and instead of focusing on the negative symptoms, I am going to take the positive symptoms are focus on those...

My sleep continues to be deep sleep and I feel. I just feel better than any of my 18 months journey....

Let see in Jesus name....

05/29/2026- last two months better than any other previous months....

I have been feeling a lot better in the last two months with mild bumps that last between 30 minutes to three hours and mostly mornings.

I am still on my deep breathing sleep despite of few early wakes ups

Concentration being a lot better in the last three days.

Energy have improved a lot more and better than last 16 months.

Most symptoms are relatively mild and weaker so far

This is the longest window ever....

9 hours ago, Raymond said:

05/29/2026- last two months better than any other previous months....

I have been feeling a lot better in the last two months with mild bumps that last between 30 minutes to three hours and mostly mornings.

I am still on my deep breathing sleep despite of few early wakes ups

Concentration being a lot better in the last three days.

Energy have improved a lot more and better than last 16 months.

Most symptoms are relatively mild and weaker so far

This is the longest window ever....

Update....

All good with mild symptoms, but I have been feeling better than ever....

Yhwnk God

05/31/2026- things continues to look good....

I continue to feel better in the last 7 weeks. I only had few days with mild symptoms that resolved quickly. The main symptom was headache during this time and little dizziness but resolved between 30 minutes to 2 hours.

My sleep continues to be a lot better and more normal. I have been waking up most of the time between 630am to 7am. On my days off, I have past the 7am mark.

The love of my job came back to me in the last two days at work...

Also. In the last three days. My naps came back more naturally. The other day, I had to take the bus from office to my home. While on the bus, I just felt asleep for a little bit. I haven't gotten this feeling during my 18 months journey. I I used to force my nappings, but this time, It was more natural like when I used to nap before medications.

I think my body is finally stabilizing to normal. However, I just don't want to speak to much since this journey is unpredictable.

I definitely feel a lot better after my two taper these last two months.

Next month. I will increase and continue increasing my tapering slowly until I reach the correct percentage that my body can tolerate.

One fact that I know about my body which I experienced during my taper is that I feel better every time I taper. When my old symptoms came back at month 10, I think it was just a cycle were my body was just doing deeper healing.

18 months at a low dose of 4.76mg, it's an accomplishment.

Let's see what else my body unlocked as I go down.

By the way. I don't get angry anymore when discussing something. I feel more like me. Just normal....these medications are evil and made me argue with no cause ....

Edited May 31May 31 by Raymond
Adding comments

52 minutes ago, Raymond said:

One fact that I know about my body which I experienced during my taper is that I feels better every time I taper. When my old symptoms came back at month 10, I think it was just a cycle were my body was just doing deeper healing.

That's a fantastic sign of healing, @Raymond! You're getting closer to zero. Sending positive thoughts your way.

8 hours ago, Raymond said:

05/31/2026- things continues to look good....

I continue to feel better in the last 7 weeks. I only had few days with mild symptoms that resolved quickly. The main symptom was headache during this time and little dizziness but resolved between 30 minutes to 2 hours.

My sleep continues to be a lot better and more normal. I have been waking up most of the time between 630am to 7am. On my days off, I have past the 7am mark.

The love of my job came back to me in the last two days at work...

Also. In the last three days. My naps came back more naturally. The other day, I had to take the bus from office to my home. While on the bus, I just felt asleep for a little bit. I haven't gotten this feeling during my 18 months journey. I I used to force my nappings, but this time, It was more natural like when I used to nap before medications.

I think my body is finally stabilizing to normal. However, I just don't want to speak to much since this journey is unpredictable.

I definitely feel a lot better after my two taper these last two months.

Next month. I will increase and continue increasing my tapering slowly until I reach the correct percentage that my body can tolerate.

One fact that I know about my body which I experienced during my taper is that I feel better every time I taper. When my old symptoms came back at month 10, I think it was just a cycle were my body was just doing deeper healing.

18 months at a low dose of 4.76mg, it's an accomplishment.

Let's see what else my body unlocked as I go down.

By the way. I don't get angry anymore when discussing something. I feel more like me. Just normal....these medications are evil and made me argue with no cause ....

Update.....the loooooongest window ever in 18 months. I believe I can say that I'm at 90% better....

Hi Raymond, I have been watching your journey. I am on the dreaded paroxetine also.

I am so pleased you have been able to stabilise and am feeling better.

I hope it continues this way until you are off.

You are doing so well.

Best wishes to you

Wombat

2 hours ago, Wombat said:

Hi Raymond, I have been watching your journey. I am on the dreaded paroxetine also.

I am so pleased you have been able to stabilise and am feeling better.

I hope it continues this way until you are off.

You are doing so well.

Best wishes to you

Wombat

Hello @Wombat ! Thanks for the encouragement. These 18 months have not been easy, but it is Worth the try to come off these medications.

I am currently drinking my first decaf coffee with milk after 18 months on hold. I had the desired for coffee long ago but have not tried it until today.... enjoyed every sip of it....

You will get better as well. I have felt more like me. I'm hoping my next cut will be bigger and see how I end up...

Take care and be positive...