07/11/2026- third nocturnal panic attack in 20 months journey.....

Yesterday was little stressful day, but overall, I felt good all day.

I went to sleep around 10pm as I was very tired. Around 1140pm, I got hit my an nocturnal panic attack feeling I couldn't breath, anxiety raised for few seconds. It lasted few seconds or a minute before I felt asleep again straight until 545am.

My brain woke me with this anxiety/crawling sensation that last it seconds. My stomach felt little hot and kind of loose. It's like a fatigue sensation coming from my stomach. Head, chest. And stomach felt warm.

I think I was able to stayed in bed little longer.

I hate those nocturnal panic attacks. Before medication, I used to experience them for just a second without the anxiety rush and able to just go back to sleep like nothing happens. It's one situation that I have had during childhood, but never bothered me since it wasn't every year. Like I said. It was a yearly experience or so.

This is my third nocturnal panic attack in 20 months journey.....

I hope more healing it's coming.....

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

07/11/2026- third nocturnal panic attack in 20 months journey.....

Yesterday was little stressful day, but overall, I felt good all day.

I went to sleep around 10pm as I was very tired. Around 1140pm, I got hit my an nocturnal panic attack feeling I couldn't breath, anxiety raised for few seconds. It lasted few seconds or a minute before I felt asleep again straight until 545am.

My brain woke me with this anxiety/crawling sensation that last it seconds. My stomach felt little hot and kind of loose. It's like a fatigue sensation coming from my stomach. Head, chest. And stomach felt warm.

I think I was able to stayed in bed little longer.

I hate those nocturnal panic attacks. Before medication, I used to experience them for just a second without the anxiety rush and able to just go back to sleep like nothing happens. It's one situation that I have had during childhood, but never bothered me since it wasn't every year. Like I said. It was a yearly experience or so.

This is my third nocturnal panic attack in 20 months journey.....

I hope more healing it's coming.....

Considering Paxil is one of the worst to come off of you're coping so well and making amazing progress @Raymond

If you were used to experiencing some anxiety before taking the medication it's likely that it won't go away completely but who knows really, too early to tell, the system is still affected and firing and you are gaining so much strength, it might be that what you previously considered anxiety may later become a small, insignificant twinge.

18 hours ago, Raymond said:

I hope more healing it's coming.....

It will be Raymon! Just the path to it isn't straight, you are doing great mate. One day at a time.

15 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

If you were used to experiencing some anxiety before taking the medication it's likely that it won't go away completely but who knows really, too early to tell, the system is still affected and firing and you are gaining so much strength, it might be that what you previously considered anxiety may later become a small, insignificant twinge.

Feeling anxiety is a completley normal human reaction so I would hope non of us (once we are healed) miss out on experiencing the full range of emotions we are supposed to do. The key is to remember that is a feature not a fault and so no reason to fear it, just about learning to manage it. Whilst in the thick of WD I suspect most of what we experience is drug harm tbh not real anxiety.

20 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Considering Paxil is one of the worst to come off of you're coping so well and making amazing progress @Raymond

If you were used to experiencing some anxiety before taking the medication it's likely that it won't go away completely but who knows really, too early to tell, the system is still affected and firing and you are gaining so much strength, it might be that what you previously considered anxiety may later become a small, insignificant twinge.

Well, before medication, I never had anxiety issues. I used to love sitting still and just in silence and many stressful issues, I will just take care of it and just let it go. On my nocturnal panic attacks, it was something that I have experienced when I was a child, but only every blue moon and nothing compares to the ones I have gotten during this journey.

I am currently dealing with few personal stressors and being in this sensitive journey makes it worst. But, it is part of the healing process. I wish none of us needed to go through this......

But stress these past weeks definitely main reason for the nocturnal panic episode. I'm glad it's not a constant issue....it is definitely stress and lowering my dose.

07/12/2026- 20 months, improving again....

After my nocturnal panic attack the night before, yesterday I felt better and energy improved slowly during the morning. My head felt crawling sensation, then, I felt emotions, blah until it progressed being more energized by the afternoon. Then. I felt better again..

I went to sleep around 10pm and slept through the night until 618am when my brain woke me with mild crawling/anxiety sensation. Once I woke and stayed awake for few minutes, I was back in bed with just mild symptoms as usual.

I have noticed that my muscles pain being a lot better in the last few days. Headache so far gone too.

Let see what this day will bring me. I'm trying to enjoy as much as I can and hopefully those 9 consecutive weeks that I felt great in the past will come back again.....

In the name of Jesus Christ....amen

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

Well, before medication, I never had anxiety issues. I used to love sitting still and just in silence and many stressful issues, I will just take care of it and just let it go. On my nocturnal panic attacks, it was something that I have experienced when I was a child, but only every blue moon and nothing compares to the ones I have gotten during this journey.

I am currently dealing with few personal stressors and being in this sensitive journey makes it worst. But, it is part of the healing process. I wish none of us needed to go through this......

But stress these past weeks definitely main reason for the nocturnal panic episode. I'm glad it's not a constant issue....it is definitely stress and lowering my dose.

Pretty much the same, I wasn't anxious, on the contrary, I was curious and experimenting even if an unpleasant emotion emerged that was bound to happen as an integral part of our emotions, just something natural to experience that went as it came without leaving scorched ground like now so yes most if not all of it is neuro emotion, a completely different story. I just hope that the system will know how to return to a healthy base but maybe I'm wrong, maybe the trauma of withdrawal carves such deep marks that it will be impossible to erase, so many doubts..

Anyway, I hope that the current pressures will calm down for you soon and you will be in a more peaceful place @Raymond keep coping amazingly, you inspire me.

18 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Pretty much the same, I wasn't anxious, on the contrary, I was curious and experimenting even if an unpleasant emotion emerged that was bound to happen as an integral part of our emotions, just something natural to experience that went as it came without leaving scorched ground like now so yes most if not all of it is neuro emotion, a completely different story. I just hope that the system will know how to return to a healthy base but maybe I'm wrong, maybe the trauma of withdrawal carves such deep marks that it will be impossible to erase, so many doubts..

Anyway, I hope that the current pressures will calm down for you soon and you will be in a more peaceful place @Raymond keep coping amazingly, you inspire me.

Thanks @Fullhealing . Your words are always encouraging and inspiring as well. This one step forward and two step backwards is hard, but it's necessary for recovery. My mornings are ups and downs, but afternoons are a lot better.

Let see in the next few weeks how I start feeling. From .0740g I'm down to .0706g in 20 months. I think it's a progress.

07/13/2026- ups and downs continues. Currently, to much personal stressors to deal with. Holding for long again....

Yesterday was good.

Today, I woke up 5am. I have been having to much stressors lately, so I'm holding my dose until I feel better to deal with all of these stressors coming up lately.

Little chest pressure and anxiety....

Holding again.....

Frustrating....

Holding sounds like the right move under the circumstances. There's no point adding to your stress by adding another drop. It is frustrating but its the right move. Hoping the next days are better for you!

13 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

Holding sounds like the right move under the circumstances. There's no point adding to your stress by adding another drop. It is frustrating but its the right move. Hoping the next days are better for you!

Thanks @mstimc60 ....indeed. I need my body to almost fully recover and the personal stressors I'm getting lately resolves. To much going on right now in my personal life. At least, at the dose I am, I feel more like me.. 20 months on this journey is still not enough time. Do I feel better yes, but I'm still struggling with stressors and sensitive system....if I hold again longer. As time passes by. I'm hoping to be in a better position and hope those life stressors will be gone...

2 hours ago, Raymond said:

Thanks @Fullhealing . Your words are always encouraging and inspiring as well. This one step forward and two step backwards is hard, but it's necessary for recovery. My mornings are ups and downs, but afternoons are a lot better.

Let see in the next few weeks how I start feeling. From .0740g I'm down to .0706g in 20 months. I think it's a progress.

You are making excellent progress @Raymond as you noted with steps back that always happen in any process and much more in an unpredictable chemical process like ours.

You are paying maximum attention to your system and going at your own pace, it will be a little different for all of us, each with their own circumstances but as long as you feel it is right for you that is what counts.

I really hope the pressures dissipate and you are in a more comfortable place from which you can see how you should proceed.

Edited July 13Jul 13 by Fullhealing

7 hours ago, Raymond said:

07/13/2026- ups and downs continues. Currently, to much personal stressors to deal with. Holding for long again....

Yesterday was good.

Today, I woke up 5am. I have been having to much stressors lately, so I'm holding my dose until I feel better to deal with all of these stressors coming up lately.

Little chest pressure and anxiety....

Holding again.....

Frustrating....

Update...

Naps were gone. I finally tried napping just to suddenly wake up with this jolt. Like panic, but no anxiety. Opened the eyes and returned to normal... I haven't had this for weeks.

3 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Update...

Naps were gone. I finally tried napping just to suddenly wake up with this jolt. Like panic, but no anxiety. Opened the eyes and returned to normal... I haven't had this for weeks.

I find naps rejuvenating and calming--most days. On some days I'll lie down but not doze off. But I feel rested. I'm so glad you're able to nap again!

15 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

I find naps rejuvenating and calming--most days. On some days I'll lie down but not doze off. But I feel rested. I'm so glad you're able to nap agai

Indeed

07/14/2026- bad emotional day yesterday...

Yesterday was not a good day for me. I got irritation which I have not experienced in a really long time. Many stressful situations brought me a struggle of symptoms. I had to set boundaries and try to ignore what it's not my issue...

I felt asleep around 830pm until like 2am. I woke up with the brain anxiety/crawling sensation, feeling little hot again. Then, I felt back asleep and woke up again around 430am which I'm writing this. Slept a lot of hours.

Feeling blah and little down. Hopefully, as I work, I get to think about work.

I hope things improved again. The weird thing is that I have dreamed about an issue that I had long time ago with someone. It doesn't bothers me, but it's just weird how during this healing process your subconscious can brought things that have been buried in our mind.

Overall, let see if things gets to improve again and peace will come back again ..

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

07/14/2026- bad emotional day yesterday...

Yesterday was not a good day for me. I got irritation which I have not experienced in a really long time. Many stressful situations brought me a struggle of symptoms. I had to set boundaries and try to ignore what it's not my issue...

I felt asleep around 830pm until like 2am. I woke up with the brain anxiety/crawling sensation, feeling little hot again. Then, I felt back asleep and woke up again around 430am which I'm writing this. Slept a lot of hours.

Feeling blah and little down. Hopefully, as I work, I get to think about work.

I hope things improved again. The weird thing is that I have dreamed about an issue that I had long time ago with someone. It doesn't bothers me, but it's just weird how during this healing process your subconscious can brought things that have been buried in our mind.

Overall, let see if things gets to improve again and peace will come back again ..

Morning update..

Anxiousness moving from stomach to chest and now feeling somehow fatigued. I did a tiny reduction about 14 days ago. It might be related to that reduction or just normal withdrawal. Either way. I'm holding and hoping for quick improvement....

I have seeing this pattern where I feel stomach anxiousness and moves to chest fatigue and possibly brain fear/anxiety. Usually. It's in the morning hours and then. It always gets better.

Since yesterday, I did 3 step backs from where I was. Part of this journey....

07/15/2026- 3 day feeling up and downs, waking up early, brain anxiety... morning issues

Yesterday was bad in the morning hours. As usual, by the afternoon, I felt just a little better. I was feeling down, lack of concentration or motivation, brain anxiousness and the rainy day did not help much. I improved slowly as usual.

I went to sleep at 10pm. I woke up at 3am, but felt back to sleep until 5am when my anxious brain woke me. When I opened my eyes and walked for a little bit, it faded away right away, but felt part of my body hot as usual. If I closed my eyes, I will feel the crawling sensation in my brain.

Morning motivation is gone.

one day at a time.... I hope, everything resolves again......

58 minutes ago, Raymond said:

07/15/2026- 3 day feeling up and downs, waking up early, brain anxiety... morning issues

Yesterday was bad in the morning hours. As usual, by the afternoon, I felt just a little better. I was feeling down, lack of concentration or motivation, brain anxiousness and the rainy day did not help much. I improved slowly as usual.

I went to sleep at 10pm. I woke up at 3am, but felt back to sleep until 5am when my anxious brain woke me. When I opened my eyes and walked for a little bit, it faded away right away, but felt part of my body hot as usual. If I closed my eyes, I will feel the crawling sensation in my brain.

Morning motivation is gone.

one day at a time.... I hope, everything resolves again......

I'm sorry @Raymond that thing going a bit backwards but glad at least you recognize some kind of pattern and it's not all bad.

It will get better for sure and hopefully soon. keep coping so well, you are doing great.

1 hour ago, Fullhealing said:

I'm sorry @Raymond that thing going a bit backwards but glad at least you recognize some kind of pattern and it's not all bad.

It will get better for sure and hopefully soon. keep coping so well, you are doing great.

@Fullhealing ...thanks for your support. It is crazy when there still persistent symptoms. I wish my bother symptom will just fade away permanently. Eventually, it will in time....

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

@Fullhealing ...thanks for your support. It is crazy when there still persistent symptoms. I wish my bother symptom will just fade away permanently. Eventually, it will in time....

Exactly, it will in time! You are a great mentor to yourself! Amazing @Raymond

Edited July 15Jul 15 by Fullhealing

07/16/2026- better morning, no brain cortisol or anxiety...

Yesterday was ok with bumpy rides, but end up better than previous day.

I went to sleep around 11pm. I woke up few times between 11pm and 550am. No brain cortisol or rush or anxiety. I feel a little better than yesterday morning.

So far able to concentrate at work and hopefully, my motivation and energy improved again after having two or three days feeling bad in the mornings

Body anxiousness is calmer this morning so far.

Stress still hits me, but not as bad as the begining of this journey. in 20 months, there are still struggles, but at the same time, there are a lot of improvements. Even with few bumpy rides, I feel more human and connected to everything..

I try to concentrate more on my improvements than bad symptoms.... I believe that in few more months, I will improve even more.

Lets hope in the name of Jesus Christ, we will heal. One day at a time....

Strong and fighting spirit, well done @Raymond a few stones won't stop you, we know that!

Hope this gets easier soon!

3 hours ago, Raymond said:

07/16/2026- better morning, no brain cortisol or anxiety...

Yesterday was ok with bumpy rides, but end up better than previous day.

I went to sleep around 11pm. I woke up few times between 11pm and 550am. No brain cortisol or rush or anxiety. I feel a little better than yesterday morning.

So far able to concentrate at work and hopefully, my motivation and energy improved again after having two or three days feeling bad in the mornings

Body anxiousness is calmer this morning so far.

Stress still hits me, but not as bad as the begining of this journey. in 20 months, there are still struggles, but at the same time, there are a lot of improvements. Even with few bumpy rides, I feel more human and connected to everything..

I try to concentrate more on my improvements than bad symptoms.... I believe that in few more months, I will improve even more.

Lets hope in the name of Jesus Christ, we will heal. One day at a time....

Morning update...

Feeling a lot better all morning so far....

14 hours ago, Raymond said:

Morning update...

Feeling a lot better all morning so far....

Love this Raymon!