08/18/2026- psychological symptoms, little burning sensation left upper arm, mornings sucks again, continue ups and downs...

Yesterday was ok, but I had more psychological symptoms during the morning with anxiety, fear sensation. Then, it got little better in the afternoon, but none stop intrusive thoughts causing everything else.

I went to sleep around 1030pm. I woke up one time in the middle of the night but went back to sleep until 530am when cortisol woke me with the same intrusive thoughts. I feel Little back burning, left eye lid twitching a little bit, blah morning, unmotivated, and just trying to make it through.

Let see how I end up. Planning to keep busy and hopefully, I can concentrate at work even though I don't feel like doing anything....

Lets continue hoping for Jesus Christ miracles and start feeling better again...in the name of Jesus Christ.

08/19/2026- at 21 months, another backwards moment...

It seems that month 21 is also bad for me. I started waking up again at 5am having these old symptoms again, but less intense. I woke up with headache pressure, intrusive thoughts, muscle pain and now on right side of neck, a mild burning sensation on my back, mild hot sensation, I can't go back to sleep, left eye twitching, crawling sensation on brain. The most that bothers is the psychological aspects.

So far in my 21 months journey, my first months, month 10, and month 21, I felt going backward. It seems that every so often, the body goes back and visit old areas to heal deeper.

I'm holding again my taper until I things settled down again .....

On the other hand, I have seen improvement too.

In the name of Jesus, I hope I get back good windows....

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

08/19/2026- at 21 months, another backwards moment...

It seems that month 21 is also bad for me. I started waking up again at 5am having these old symptoms again, but less intense. I woke up with headache pressure, intrusive thoughts, muscle pain and now on right side of neck, a mild burning sensation on my back, mild hot sensation, I can't go back to sleep, left eye twitching, crawling sensation on brain. The most that bothers is the psychological aspects.

So far in my 21 months journey, my first months, month 10, and month 21, I felt going backward. It seems that every so often, the body goes back and visit old areas to heal deeper.

I'm holding again my taper until I things settled down again .....

On the other hand, I have seen improvement too.

In the name of Jesus, I hope I get back good windows....

I'm sorry Raymond, such an unexpected minefield, it's good that you're waiting for the storm to die down, even less than a grain can feel like an atomic explosion especially with our poison and dosage, no rush (I wish I'd listened to my own advice more but I'm learning..).

Wishing you a stable line again very soon.

Hang in there, @Raymond . Even after I fully recovered, I had days of heightened anxiety and physical symptoms. I came to accept its just the way our brains are wired, and that the feelings will pass. You have the right attitude and have been doing great. You'll be back on the recovery track in no time!

36 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

I'm sorry Raymond, such an unexpected minefield, it's good that you're waiting for the storm to die down, even less than a grain can feel like an atomic explosion especially with our poison and dosage, no rush (I wish I'd listened to my own advice more but I'm learning..).

Wishing you a stable line again very soon.

@Fullhealing . Thanks. In the last three days, I have been bombared with OCD and same thought... psychological symptoms are terrible. This wave will pass.

Do you get these intrusive thoughts too?

50 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

Hang in there, @Raymond . Even after I fully recovered, I had days of heightened anxiety and physical symptoms. I came to accept its just the way our brains are wired, and that the feelings will pass. You have the right attitude and have been doing great. You'll be back on the recovery track in no time!

I hate the psychological symptoms. It's being long that I don't have this... Definitely, hanging in there and hope it will pass soon...

39 minutes ago, Raymond said:

@Fullhealing . Thanks. In the last three days, I have been bombared with OCD and same thought... psychological symptoms are terrible. This wave will pass.

Do you get these intrusive thoughts too?

I hate the psychological symptoms. It's being long that I don't have this... Definitely, hanging in there and hope it will pass soon...

Oh yes Raymond, endless intrusive/obsessive loops that I have never known before.. horrifying but well known.

at my worst I'm looping on this.

👇

it is entirely normal and a well-documented medical reality to experience awful, terrifying, or highly intense obsessive and intrusive thoughts during Paxil withdrawal. Clinically referred to as Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome (ADS), this phenomenon is a physiological reaction to the drug leaving your body—not a reflection of your true character, desires, or a permanent mental health failure.

The brain creates these distressing loops due to a confluence of neurological factors:

Why It Happens

* The Serotonin Vacuum: Paxil works by forcefully keeping serotonin active in your brain. Over time, your brain reduces its own natural serotonin receptors to adapt. When you taper or stop, your brain is suddenly left with a massive deficit of serotonin. Serotonin acts as the "brakes" for anxiety and repetitive thoughts; without it, the brain's internal alarm system spins completely out of control.

* The Rapid "Crash" Profile: Paxil has one of the shortest half-lives of any standard SSRI, meaning it clears out of your bloodstream incredibly fast. This gives your central nervous system almost zero time to naturally adapt, acting like a sudden chemical shock to your brain.

* Acetylcholine Overdrive: Paxil uniquely has strong anticholinergic properties (it blocks the chemical acetylcholine). When you withdraw from it, you experience an "anticholinergic rebound"—a sudden surge of acetylcholine that causes severe physical agitation, restlessness, and hyper-arousal, forcing the mind into repetitive, anxious loops.

* Brain Hyper-Vigilance: Your amygdala (the fear center) registers the physical distress of withdrawal as an active emergency. Because it feels unsafe, your brain generates frightening, intrusive thoughts to try and justify or explain the internal physical panic it is feeling.

Mentally De-escalate:

When a scary thought loop occurs, practice labeling it mechanically. Remind yourself: "This thought is not a fact, it is not a reflection of me, and it is a temporary chemical glitch of a healing brain."

Edited August 19Aug 19 by Fullhealing

3 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Oh yes Raymond, endless intrusive/obsessive loops that I have never known before.. horrifying but well known.

at my worst I'm looping on this.

👇

it is entirely normal and a well-documented medical reality to experience awful, terrifying, or highly intense obsessive and intrusive thoughts during Paxil withdrawal. Clinically referred to as Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome (ADS), this phenomenon is a physiological reaction to the drug leaving your body—not a reflection of your true character, desires, or a permanent mental health failure.

The brain creates these distressing loops due to a confluence of neurological factors:

Why It Happens

* The Serotonin Vacuum: Paxil works by forcefully keeping serotonin active in your brain. Over time, your brain reduces its own natural serotonin receptors to adapt. When you taper or stop, your brain is suddenly left with a massive deficit of serotonin. Serotonin acts as the "brakes" for anxiety and repetitive thoughts; without it, the brain's internal alarm system spins completely out of control.

* The Rapid "Crash" Profile: Paxil has one of the shortest half-lives of any standard SSRI, meaning it clears out of your bloodstream incredibly fast. This gives your central nervous system almost zero time to naturally adapt, acting like a sudden chemical shock to your brain.

* Acetylcholine Overdrive: Paxil uniquely has strong anticholinergic properties (it blocks the chemical acetylcholine). When you withdraw from it, you experience an "anticholinergic rebound"—a sudden surge of acetylcholine that causes severe physical agitation, restlessness, and hyper-arousal, forcing the mind into repetitive, anxious loops.

* Brain Hyper-Vigilance: Your amygdala (the fear center) registers the physical distress of withdrawal as an active emergency. Because it feels unsafe, your brain generates frightening, intrusive thoughts to try and justify or explain the internal physical panic it is feeling.

Mentally De-escalate:

When a scary thought loop occurs, practice labeling it mechanically. Remind yourself: "This thought is not a fact, it is not a reflection of me, and it is a temporary chemical glitch of a healing brain."

Great thank you for this. Yes, this is ridiculous, but it is part of the journey and healing. 🤔 Crazy journey...

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

Great thank you for this. Yes, this is ridiculous, but it is part of the journey and healing. 🤔 Crazy journey...

It is absolutely insane but we're on this journey together 😊🧡

Hi Raymond, sorry you are in an awful wave at the moment. I can relate to the awful looping thoughts. It is one of my worst symptoms.

Hoping you'll be back in a window soon.

Thanks @Fullhealing . That helps to explain what we're going through.

Wombat

Dear @Raymond

I was reading over your SA thread at the beginning. I feel like our journey is very similar....you stopped paroxetine a few times like I did. I think we both have kindled over the years and are super sensitive. At least we understand what is going on and we can go slowly, treating ourselves with kindness and understanding. One day closer and we are so much better than we were. ❤️🙏

3 hours ago, Wombat said:

Hi Raymond, sorry you are in an awful wave at the moment. I can relate to the awful looping thoughts. It is one of my worst symptoms.

Hoping you'll be back in a window soon.

Thanks @Fullhealing . That helps to explain what we're going through.

Wombat

I always going to complain.. 😂 when on a wave, it's always at the same time 5am to 10am...

3 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

Dear @Raymond

I was reading over your SA thread at the beginning. I feel like our journey is very similar....you stopped paroxetine a few times like I did. I think we both have kindled over the years and are super sensitive. At least we understand what is going on and we can go slowly, treating ourselves with kindness and understanding. One day closer and we are so much better than we were. ❤️🙏

I have been doing great and I'm pretty sure that others are in worst position, but when this hits, it's crazy. I haven't had a psychological symptoms in a long time now. It was mostly physical which I can cope. Also, it's always between 5am to 10am with today's exception that lasted until like 2pm. Then I started feeling better and my brain back to almost normal.

Definitely a hard journey, but I won't stop. I can't see myself in this mess for 10 years. I'm also considering that I'm not even two years yet. I'm still in baby steps...

We will get through this.....

08/20/2026- month 21, it's another struggle month...

Yesterday was bad for me with all intrusive thoughts during morning hours as usual. I think it was the main symptom yesterday. Then, it got better around 10am as time went by. Around 2pm, I started to have chest pressure. Then, it went away around 3pm and I started to feel better.

I went to sleep at 1030pm and slept through 4am. Then, intrusive thoughts again. The minute, I stood up, I felt better, but closing my eyes caused the issues to come back. I still can't figure out how our system works and why closing eyes makes things worst.

My struggles are not intense as I was during the beginning of this journey, but I see that every so many months, the body goes back to heal deeper. Maybe the reason I get these symptoms at month 21.

Unless my body is telling me to reduce again. I won't do for now since my last reduction was three weeks ago. I might just stay at this dose or just reduce a tiny percentage because I have a trip in September that I don't want to mess up.

I also have the muscle pains and mainly shoulder, and neck area.

Many stressors this week caused these issues. When i think things are going well, it's when I get hit. It's like the waves know when to hit you....

Let's see and hope for Jesus Christ miracles....

Like it or not, we must go through the pain to heal and become better.....

2 hours ago, Raymond said:

08/20/2026- month 21, it's another struggle month...

Yesterday was bad for me with all intrusive thoughts during morning hours as usual. I think it was the main symptom yesterday. Then, it got better around 10am as time went by. Around 2pm, I started to have chest pressure. Then, it went away around 3pm and I started to feel better.

I went to sleep at 1030pm and slept through 4am. Then, intrusive thoughts again. The minute, I stood up, I felt better, but closing my eyes caused the issues to come back. I still can't figure out how our system works and why closing eyes makes things worst.

My struggles are not intense as I was during the beginning of this journey, but I see that every so many months, the body goes back to heal deeper. Maybe the reason I get these symptoms at month 21.

Unless my body is telling me to reduce again. I won't do for now since my last reduction was three weeks ago. I might just stay at this dose or just reduce a tiny percentage because I have a trip in September that I don't want to mess up.

I also have the muscle pains and mainly shoulder, and neck area.

Many stressors this week caused these issues. When i think things are going well, it's when I get hit. It's like the waves know when to hit you....

Let's see and hope for Jesus Christ miracles....

Like it or not, we must go through the pain to heal and become better.....

9am update...

Seems better than yesterday... feeling sleepy, little back hot sensation, concentration is good as well, intrusive thoughts minimize again, right side of stomach feels crawling sensation. I was feeling little fatigue on chest area, but energy improving again. Few muscle twitching again after many months without it ...

Just the way this journey is..... moving forward

15 minutes ago, Raymond said:

9am update...

Seems better than yesterday... feeling sleepy, little back hot sensation, concentration is good as well, intrusive thoughts minimize again, right side of stomach feels crawling sensation. I was feeling little fatigue on chest area, but energy improving again. Few muscle twitching again after many months without it ...

Just the way this journey is..... moving forward

Good news, glad to read it's getting better @Raymond

Keep up your positive mindset, you are doing so so well.

08/21/2026- burning sensation, mess again at 21 months...

Yesterday was between bad and good. As always, bad between 5am to 10am with burning sensation again on and off. Then, little headache that lasted 20 minutes. Then, I got sleepy around 4pm and napped again until 5am. Then, burning sensation on and off. Then, felt go at night. I went to sleep at 10pm and slept through until 5am again when the same symptoms hit.

I open my eyes and burning sensation gone, but when closing my eyes burning sensation comes. Weird......does anyone experience this?

One positive thing that I got yesterday during the day is the I was able to read books that I enjoy. I went outside and kind of felt quiet and peaceful in my hammock. Yet, my symptoms on and off.

Summary

Bad months: first 5 months, month 10, and month 21.

I hope this settles down again in the name of Jesus. Hard to be like this and try to do other things...

2 hours ago, Raymond said:

08/21/2026- burning sensation, mess again at 21 months...

Yesterday was between bad and good. As always, bad between 5am to 10am with burning sensation again on and off. Then, little headache that lasted 20 minutes. Then, I got sleepy around 4pm and napped again until 5am. Then, burning sensation on and off. Then, felt go at night. I went to sleep at 10pm and slept through until 5am again when the same symptoms hit.

I open my eyes and burning sensation gone, but when closing my eyes burning sensation comes. Weird......does anyone experience this?

One positive thing that I got yesterday during the day is the I was able to read books that I enjoy. I went outside and kind of felt quiet and peaceful in my hammock. Yet, my symptoms on and off.

Summary

Bad months: first 5 months, month 10, and month 21.

I hope this settles down again in the name of Jesus. Hard to be like this and try to do other things...

Update.....

Burning sensation moving around. It goes and come. I did a reduction on 07/28 and thus last three days being the worst, which I might be experiencing a delay withdrawal. Holding again until further notice.

I can wake up with cortisol and no burning sensation, but waking up and burning sensation makes things worst. It's being moving from stomach to left side to right side to back to head. Hanging in there.....

You can tell by the fact the sensations come and go and the way they move around this is a manifestation of WD. And you know the symptoms will fade with time, coping and patience. Sending positive thoughts your way!

21 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

You can tell by the fact the sensations come and go and the way they move around this is a manifestation of WD.

@mstimc60 ...oh I did not know that....thanks for the clarification. I am probably having delay withdrawal symptoms.

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

Update.....

Burning sensation moving around. It goes and come. I did a reduction on 07/28 and thus last three days being the worst, which I might be experiencing a delay withdrawal. Holding again until further notice.

I can wake up with cortisol and no burning sensation, but waking up and burning sensation makes things worst. It's being moving from stomach to left side to right side to back to head. Hanging in there.....

After months of having good stomach, it came back with bloating, gases, anxiety in that area. This is probably the main reason for all other symptoms....back to drinking ginger tea...... 🧐

2 hours ago, Raymond said:

Update.....

Burning sensation moving around. It goes and come. I did a reduction on 07/28 and thus last three days being the worst, which I might be experiencing a delay withdrawal. Holding again until further notice.

I can wake up with cortisol and no burning sensation, but waking up and burning sensation makes things worst. It's being moving from stomach to left side to right side to back to head. Hanging in there.....

Your system is definitely healing now which is very unpleasant but that is a good thing!

Hope it clears up very soon @Raymond

21 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Your system is definitely healing now which is very unpleasant but that is a good thing!

Hope it clears up very soon @Raymond

21 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

Your system is definitely healing now which is very unpleasant but that is a good thing!

Hope it clears up very soon @Raymond

Indeed. Burning lowering again, feeling sleepy, but can't sleep, mind calm, but can't concentrate, etc ...weird how this affects us ...I don't know if crying or laughing.... 😆

30 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Indeed. Burning lowering again, feeling sleepy, but can't sleep, mind calm, but can't concentrate, etc ...weird how this affects us ...I don't know if crying or laughing.... 😆

I know, crazy!

Laughing clearly between tears 😬

Edited August 21Aug 21 by Fullhealing

32 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Indeed. Burning lowering again, feeling sleepy, but can't sleep, mind calm, but can't concentrate, etc ...weird how this affects us ...I don't know if crying or laughing.... 😆

Ah yes, "tired and wired". It still hits me. I just try to accept the sensations and ride them till they abate, but it still gets to me. But we'll all get through it!

Just a thought!

It's amazing how this site supports many people from around the world. It does matter where you from or where you are, we support each other with love and kindness. These medications affects everyone, but the good thing about all of this is that I found new family here where I can feel love and each words and support mean something very special for me during this journey. We haven't seeing each other personally, but the love and support from each one of you, it's what matters the most.

I hope we all one day look back and forget this journey, but keeping in mind those people, who during our journey, helped us and motivated us to continue moving forward.......the day of healing will come and I pray for everyone to get healed and out of this mess soon.

One day at a time........