Thank you guys I just want my life back and don’t want to die.  Some days it feels like that’s the only option because of the mental suffering and loss.  
 

I switched from Zoloft to lexapro on psychs advice because I was feeling really sad at the onset of my divorce. Looking back it’s insane they didn’t advise counseling or something. Else . 
 

it’s just so scary to think that a drive to the store is so overwhelming now (as an example of how I feel).  Many days I’ll lay in bed all day and I’m a Full grown ass man.  I can’t be doing that. Meanwhile ev else is out living life. 

1 hour ago, Need to End said:

Someone I communicate with in this forum said they switched to Zoloft and went from very suicidal to happy almost instantly.   Should I be trying this?

 

I just feel like the way it’s going for me is so insane and abnormal and inhumane - I don’t know what to do and don’t kkkwnof I should be suffering at this level??

Your nervous system isn’t the same as when you were on Zoloft, you can’t reload those times. Switching drugs never, from my experience, seems to work out. It’s like a cold turkey of one whilst destabilised. Then adding in another is fuel on a fire. I most certainly wouldn’t recommend this. 
 

No one should be suffering. But unfortunately there are no quick fixes. You have two choices. You keep tapering slowly off and wait to recover at zero. Or you hold your dose and hope things settle down at this lower dose. Either way it is going to be crucial for you to build up your tool box of coping skills to deal with your symptoms. Learning some important skills can really help get you through the day and reduce the suffering. That is the key to all this, not different drugs. I see so many desperately looking for things to fix this, unfortunately that pretty much always leads to more harm. It takes time to accept the situation and stop resisting it and realise there aren’t magic wands. Chippy

Ty - how do we know I’ll get better that’s my fear 

23 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Ty - how do we know I’ll get better that’s my fear 

You will. It is everyones fear. That bit is normal. But in time, we all improve and start to get our lifes back. It is learning to deal with the days, to allow that process to continue with minimal suffering. It isn't easy. But take a look around at some of the warriors on here, suffering terribly. Some of them are Mentors and are able to offer support to others. That is how powerful coping skills are.

27 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Ty - how do we know I’ll get better that’s my fear 

Everyone who has reached the other side describes a full, meaningful and purposeful life with richer colors and joy, so you are no exception, period! just trust the process, go with it and try not to resist, resistance breeds so much suffering.

Yall are stronger than me . I am struggling to manage the financial pressures of divorce and my industry with the chaos of this.  I respect  you all.  I’ve always had a lot of strength this has humbled me 

5 hours ago, Need to End said:

Some days it feels like that’s the only option because of the mental suffering and loss.  

I know this feeling very well myself. I feel your absolute torment. Imagine a sympathetic caring person with you right now, offering you a blanker, a hot drink, any act of care that resonates. That person is all of us. We are with you right now, and we will take care of you.

1 hour ago, Sminismoni said:

I know this feeling very well myself. I feel your absolute torment. Imagine a sympathetic caring person with you right now, offering you a blanker, a hot drink, any act of care that resonates. That person is all of us. We are with you right now, and we will take care of you.

100% we are here for you @Need to End 

Guys I’m feeling really horrible today.  Can talking with an ex do this or is this purely chemical?

 

im so afraid this depression and crying is just who I am and that I’ll never get tj zero

Edited April 12Apr 12 by Need to End

2 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Guys I’m feeling really horrible today.  Can talking with an ex do this or is this purely chemical?

 

im so afraid this depression and crying is just who I am and that I’ll never get tj zero

Im sure adding in emotional stress like dealing with feelings you get from talking with your ex can add to the symptoms. This isn’t who you are. It is wd/drug harm. Those coping skills we all talk about are so important. They help deal with the wd and arm you for a better life after wd is all over. 

Ty.   I keep hoping today wil be better.  I’m sorry I’m so needy this pain and fear are both so heavy I feel like it has tj be something else m.

 

are there others that don’t leave their beds all weekend?

2 hours ago, Need to End said:

’m sorry I’m so needy this pain and fear are both so heavy I feel like it has tj be something else m.

No need to appolgise. We are here for you

 

2 hours ago, Need to End said:

are there others that don’t leave their beds all weekend?

Certainly mate. Ive not had this issue but I know some have.

Everyone keeps telling me I should take another medication.  That there is something  tha should help. It makes me feel crazy.  I just took my daughter to Walgreens - it’s the first time in maybe a year or so I’ve taken her to the store . I had a straight panic attack on the way there but then we went inside with my puffy red tear filled eyes and picked up what I neeed to get.  It was an experience I wish on no one but maybe it’s good did it idk. 

4 hours ago, Need to End said:

Everyone keeps telling me I should take another medication.  That there is something  tha should help. It makes me feel crazy.  I just took my daughter to Walgreens - it’s the first time in maybe a year or so I’ve taken her to the store . I had a straight panic attack on the way there but then we went inside with my puffy red tear filled eyes and picked up what I neeed to get.  It was an experience I wish on no one but maybe it’s good did it idk. 

You know better. No magic bullets. Other drugs make this worse. 
 

I think you did a lovely thing going shopping with your daughter. I know it must have been hard but you did it. You should be proud. This isn’t an easy journey.

On 4/12/2026 at 5:45 AM, Need to End said:

Ty.   I keep hoping today wil be better.  I’m sorry I’m so needy this pain and fear are both so heavy I feel like it has tj be something else m.

 

are there others that don’t leave their beds all weekend?

 

Some people are bedridden long-term by these drugs.

 

You're able to work a bit and you've been hitting the gym. This is at least some level of functioning. It's good that you were able to go out with your daughter.

 

 

I will again suggest that you might have been tapering too quickly for you to tolerate and this is causing the panic to ramp up. When I've suggested this in the past you've stated that symptoms do not worsen, but clearly they are and you've mentioned short, 1-2 day holds when they worsen as well.

 

 

I think some of it is the exposure to my ex and maybe going from 3.6 to 2.2 in 90 or so days do catch up with me.  The problem is when I hold for long periods I do not get much better.  I’ve been paranoid/scared/bedridden if not at work or gym/crying etc… fo the better part of 2 years and tried long holds in between. Was never this depressed or suicidal until Prozac 2 years ago.  
 

it all gets really confusing for me but it def feels like the longer I stay on Prozac the longer I will suffer.  Right now I’m doing a hold at 2.2 to see if I level out a bit. 
 

ty for always being here and talking to me.  I will always Ty guys because what you do means so much and is doing a lot for me. 

Edited April 13Apr 13 by Need to End

8 minutes ago, Need to End said:

I think some of it is the exposure to my ex and maybe going from 3.6 to 2.2 in 90 or so days do catch up with me.  The problem is when I hold for long periods I do not get much better.  I’ve been paranoid/scared/bedridden if not at work or gym/crying etc… fo the better part of 2 years and tried long holds in between. Was never this depressed or suicidal until Prozac 2 years ago.  
 

it all gets really confusing for me but it def feels like the longer I stay on Prozac the longer I will suffer.  Right now I’m doing a hold at 2.2 to see if I level out a bit. 
 

ty for always being here and talking to me.  I will always Ty guys because what you do means so much and is doing a lot for me. 

You've got to do what you think is best. We aren't going anywhere. You will ok one day. Just takes time.

I don't know whats best man and Im so scared.   It feels like Im falling deeper into the abyss over the past 1-2 years.  I feel neurotic with this worry just round and round every day constantly waiting for the next bad thing to happen. 

6 hours ago, Need to End said:

I don't know whats best man and Im so scared.   It feels like Im falling deeper into the abyss over the past 1-2 years.  I feel neurotic with this worry just round and round every day constantly waiting for the next bad thing to happen. 

Sorry to read @Need to End sometimes it just about getting through the day. It’s all we can do. The main aids in all this, is working on coping skills such as acceptance. Have you tried any meditation, hot bath, walk in nature, try to clear the mind a bit. I know it’s so hard. It’s all chemical and out of your control atm. Just trying to make your environment/day as relaxed and stress free as you can. 

7 hours ago, Need to End said:

I don't know whats best man and Im so scared.   It feels like Im falling deeper into the abyss over the past 1-2 years.  I feel neurotic with this worry just round and round every day constantly waiting for the next bad thing to happen. 

So sorry @Need to End horrible, ugly difficult process, it can't be made pretty

but I wonder what distractions you can tolerate? what works for you?

Hi @Need to End,

 

I read your thread and I wanted to say hi. First of all, I just have to say I really relate to how you're feeling. Especially all those fears about whether this is permanent. I completely understand what it's like when your brain keeps looping this same thought, trying to analyse the past, wondering if you were always like this etc. I know the feeling all too well. The harsh truth is, no matter how much you analyse it, you won't find a solution or relief that way. The only thing that helps is accepting the situation and letting time pass.

 

I noticed that you're also wondering whether your situation might improve once you're off the medication entirely. I can share that it was the case for me. Ofc, I know you and I are not exactly the same and our medication histories and circumstances differ, but in my case: I experienced adverse reaction to escitalopram (reinstatement, I took it for only 3.5 months) and after I stopped the medication, I improved quite much. It's been nine months since I stopped the medication, and while I'm not yet healed, my sittuation is by no means as terrible as it was last summer. These days, I experience windows and waves, and some of those windows have been very good. So, this kind of improvement is definitely possible.

 

As I mentioned, I completely understand how you're feeling, and at times my thoughts have been very very similar. This truly is one of the most brutal things a person can experience, but thankfully we can face this together.

 

Take care.

 

Vera

Thank you all these replies are immensely helpful.  To hear someone has improved makes me hopeful.  
 

for some reason the last week has been exceptionally hard.  So of course the. Fears are eating me alive. 
 

I still have dreams to be a success like I was my whole life prior to this and my divorce etc…. And am having a hard time believing it.  Feel too old too broken and like I have to accept just being able to survive as my best outcome which is defeating and honestly makes it feel like what’s the pt.  I don’t know how to hold on to those feelings amidst this level of functioning or lack thereof and my brain is telling me I’m too old constantly. 
 

the constant communication with you all is so helpful 

Edited April 14Apr 14 by Need to End

I’m also afraid this won’t settle but I’ve been holding at 2.2mg. 

37 minutes ago, Need to End said:

Thank you all these replies are immensely helpful.  To hear someone has improved makes me hopeful.  
 

for some reason the last week has been exceptionally hard.  So of course the. Fears are eating me alive. 
 

I still have dreams to be a success like I was my whole life prior to this and my divorce etc…. And am having a hard time believing it.  Feel too old too broken and like I have to accept just being able to survive as my best outcome which is defeating and honestly makes it feel like what’s the pt.  I don’t know how to hold on to those feelings amidst this level of functioning or lack thereof and my brain is telling me I’m too old constantly. 
 

the constant communication with you all is so helpful 

Excellent that you still have desires, it's a driving force that will serve you well later on, but try to understand that the looping you are in is very powerful and common withdrawal symptom that does not indicate on your abilities in any way, it is an integral part of the process that you need to learn to deal with until it fades.

Try to make the separation and not believe what your mind says, even if it sits very hard you still have the ability to control it, it's a struggle that we all face on a daily basis in this process but no other choice just to know how to live alongside it for a while until it's gone.

I’m scared guys just really scared.