Thank you.   Even today, I sit here and am pretty convinced I have always been like this and cannot get my business back to where it was - like its not in me. 😞  Feel like giving up. 

 

Im down to 2.7mg. 

1 hour ago, Need to End said:

Thank you.   Even today, I sit here and am pretty convinced I have always been like this and cannot get my business back to where it was - like its not in me. 😞  Feel like giving up. 

 

Im down to 2.7mg. 

Sorry you are struggling so much, I feel you strongly, all of us.

Lots of ups and downs but you will get through this.

Wishing you relief soon.

Edited March 12Mar 12 by Fullhealing

ty.  I so know we are all suffering and my thoughts are with you all too. 
 

not sure how yall do it without as much reassurance I ask for.  I wish I could.  Everyday is scary.  I really liked myself before 😞

2 hours ago, Need to End said:

ty.  I so know we are all suffering and my thoughts are with you all too. 
 

not sure how yall do it without as much reassurance I ask for.  I wish I could.  Everyday is scary.  I really liked myself before 😞

It's a sign of strength that you are able to ask for help and reassurance @Need to End. A lot of people are too scared to reveal they are feeling helpless and vulnerable. All we can do is listen with compassion - we are experiencing similar feelings, although at differing intensities.

It would be really useful if you updated your signature every date you change your dose. It gives the moderators visibility of how fast and by how much your dose changes. Useful for you too as mood, psychological and somatic symptoms can expose patterns you might not be seeing at present 🤗

6 hours ago, Need to End said:

I really liked myself before 😞

 

This is another thing that highlights to me that the issues you're facing are the adverse effects of these drugs and not you.

 

 

Could I just clarify something with you please? The last line of your signature- is the data you added klonopin supposed to be 2025?

37 minutes ago, Luke said:

Could I just clarify something with you please? The last line of your signature- is the data you added klonopin supposed to be 2025?

Yes please @Need to End, I assume you mean 2025?

I updated the signature and yes klonopin was 2025.  Sorry about that.  

 

Ive been dropping nearly .02mg/day since January 2026.   Nothing major has worsened that I can tell.  Whats confusing for me is that I have a significant amount of financial pressure and just got divorced in the middle of this storm so I never really know where to attribute the rise of any negative emotions.   It's been tough for the entire 23 months I have been on prozac which started at 20 mg and is now 2.68mg.   

Is it normal to feel this horrible for 2 years while tapering?  I feel like something else is majorly wrong with me and I’m so scared I won’t make it.  

Hi @Need to End. I also want that my hellish suffering ends... Let's hope, others healed with perseverance, they didn't give up, we also have to endure one minute at the time

 

https://benzobuddies.org/topic/258051-i-believed-i-would-never-heali-was-wrong/

 

 

Hi @skamen I’m so sorry to hear your in the fire as well.  You will come through just need to slow your brain to settle after your cold turkey’s. 

2 hours ago, Need to End said:

Is it normal to feel this horrible for 2 years while tapering?  I feel like something else is majorly wrong with me and I’m so scared I won’t make it.  

@Need to End Your system is still shaken by previous sharp changes including difficult external pressures plus you're on a low dose which is especially challenging, all combined together, yes, it makes sense.

Im truly sorry and I feel your frustration but it's too common, hold on to the fact that it will not last forever, we all have a slightly different pace which depends on various factors but we will all heal with time, patience and support.

Keep pushing, you are stronger than you feel.

3 hours ago, Need to End said:

Is it normal to feel this horrible for 2 years while tapering?  I feel like something else is majorly wrong with me and I’m so scared I won’t make it.  

@Need to End I’ve been at this for 2.5 years and I’ve got 4 more drugs to taper after this one. I’ve been through the wringer of emotions but it takes too much of my energy to struggle so I just taper to remain functional so I can live my life.

4 hours ago, Need to End said:

Is it normal to feel this horrible for 2 years while tapering?  I feel like something else is majorly wrong with me and I’m so scared I won’t make it.  

Very normal unfortunately. Don’t forget you are pushing through as you feel your body doesn’t get on ok with Prozac. So you aren’t able to get stability between drops. You are doing incredibly well considering! Another of this sites true warriors. I see 2 of the strongest ones are here to support you. I’m in awe of all three of you. @Fullhealing @skamen

Is normal to feel existential  panic and dread all the time?   It’s been like this for 2 years while tapering Prozac and it’s getting hard to hold on. 

1 hour ago, Need to End said:

Is normal to feel existential  panic and dread all the time?   It’s been like this for 2 years while tapering Prozac and it’s getting hard to hold on. 

Yes unfortunately, I wish there was a more encouraging answer but it is common, too common especially near the end.

I wonder if it possible to hold the tapering for a while and let your system find a long term balance point?

Edited March 18Mar 18 by Fullhealing

I’ve never found a balancing point when holding 

5 minutes ago, Need to End said:

I’ve never found a balancing point when holding 

Well, it might be worth considering it now that you are on a low dose.. giving your system some time to rest without a change.

just a thought 

I am absolutely the same, @Need to End, never found a comfortable point when holding. My aim is to go to 0 because the ADs threw me in hellish anhedonia, I have been in poop-out from February 2024 and my brain doesn't want anymore this poison. A real agony since then. I know that reaching 0 mg the inhumane journey will continue but at least I will give the free space for my CNS to start heal and find homeostasis.

@skamen pls keep me posted in how you do going to zero. 

@Need to End, yesterday evening I didn't take the 1,5 mg Mirtazapine, since then I am at 0 mg. My sleep was broken as usually by multiples cortisol/adrenaline spikes. This morning the anxiety is unbearable, awful, I have also nausea, hellish anhedonia and depression. I have had this also during the tapering and the hold but now everything is x1000. But I am determined, I have to endure this Hell, I don't have any other choice because the ADs have put me in the inhumane anhedonia. They stopped to work for me.

@skamen messaged you in our convo - I’m here for you 

Does anyone else just lay in bed all weekend while recovering?  I’ve been doing this for soo long while I taper it’s making me feel like I’m done.  Being in bed while the world is out there living is doing a number on my mental. 

5 hours ago, Need to End said:

Does anyone else just lay in bed all weekend while recovering?  I’ve been doing this for soo long while I taper it’s making me feel like I’m done.  Being in bed while the world is out there living is doing a number on my mental. 

Hey sorry you feel the need to be in bed so much. Exhausting all this. Many will relate. If you can get outside a little you might find it helpful. Ultimately you have to do what you have to do to get through this. Go easy on yourself. 

It feels like depression and fear more than anything . I feel like I’m the only one doing this (being in bed, not engaging with kids, crying, scared…) it’s making me insane and feel like I won’t recover. 

Also reading about this guy who advised people to kill themselves is freaking me out.  I already have suicidal ideation and reading this makes me feel like sometimes thays the only option and im so scared. I don’t want to do that but im scared I won’t heal and can’t deal with this pain for a lot longer.  How do I deal with this thought process?  It’s scaring me