@Chippy Thanks mate. Just to make sure I understood you correctly 😄 When you said “working hard is an understatement, but working hard on getting this right”, did you mean that you think my nervous system is working really hard trying to find its way back to stability, rather than actually being stuck? And that this process itself can make things feel so uncomfortable?

2 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

you think my nervous system is working really hard trying to find its way back to stability, rather than actually being stuck? And that this process itself can make things feel so uncomfortable?

Exactly mate! The body is always working hard to stablise and it is good at it. :)

Thank you my friend!! @Chippy ,

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

The body is always working hard to stablise and it is good at it. :)

Just a petty it feels so damn uncomfortable!)

21 hours ago, Sandnit said:

Just a petty it feels so damn uncomfortable!)

I know! It is like with sleep, the body always gets enough, it can just sometimes not 'feel' like enough, but the body knows best.

@Chippy Thanks mate. I really can't wait until I start feeling a bit more comfortable again. This constant uncomfortable/bleh / anxious feeling ( not really know how to explain the feeling) is really tough to deal with day after day. At the moment it puts a bit of a cloud over everything, even the things I would normally enjoy with my kids. I'm trying to accept it and just let my body do its thing instead of constantly trying to fix it, but man... it is hard sometimes! Hopefully things will start easing up again with time.

Edited August 2Aug 2 by Sandnit

24 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Hopefully things will start easing up again with time.

I have zero doubt, it is just often more time than we would like which leads to the doubt. You will get there!

41 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Thanks mate! @Chippy . Yeah system is working hard but it feels like it is stuck or something!! The mornings still seem to be the hardest part for me. I often wake up with that uncomfortable feeling/anxiety, even after a decent night of sleep.(Sleep is not bad in general and I don't wake up that early anymore) I've also been having a lot of vivid dreams over the past few days. The muscle twitching seemed to be much less for a few days, but unfortunately it's back again today. I haven't had any real windows over the last few days either, although there are moments when things feel a little lighter. Later in the day things often seem to ease up a bit. I'm trying to just let it unfold and take it one day at a time. But it is hard !!!

Sharing the struggle @Sandnit so challenging to bear when it hits hard and long but we know how this journey works with inevitable waves within which, even if it feels the opposite, a miraculous healing process takes place.

Just keep surviving and remember that these are wild chemicals and not you in any way.

Hang in there, you are coping so well!

Better days are coming.

Edited August 2Aug 2 by Fullhealing

@Chippy and @Fullhealing , So thankful for your support, thank you both!! You are the best..... And also right, we will get through this!!

Edited August 2Aug 2 by Sandnit

On 8/1/2026 at 2:13 AM, Sandnit said:

Thanks mate! @Chippy . Yeah system is working hard but it feels like it is stuck or something!! The mornings still seem to be the hardest part for me. I often wake up with that uncomfortable feeling/anxiety, even after a decent night of sleep.(Sleep is not bad in general and I don't wake up that early anymore) I've also been having a lot of vivid dreams over the past few days. The muscle twitching seemed to be much less for a few days, but unfortunately it's back again today. I haven't had any real windows over the last few days either, although there are moments when things feel a little lighter. Later in the day things often seem to ease up a bit. I'm trying to just let it unfold and take it one day at a time. But it is hard !!!

Sandnit, what you are experiencing so similar of what I went through back in January, it's like my body shifted , and I didn't have the high anxiety/fear, .it is now more of a nuisance and I can definitely handle the emotions ooh so much better. It is definitely your CNS making great strides in this healing process. Our body's are excellent at healing themselves. I myself now had a excellent shift again , and I am feeling pure joy and happiness again. Now things are mainly a glitch, it comes and goes quickly. You are doing an amazing Sandnit and your body/CBS are truly healing. Time and patience are truly our friend. I truly believe God heals us at just the right time and just the right moment. You are so strong, you got this.

Thanks @Bernadette , that is good to hear. Last year it also took me a long time to stabilise before I was able to resume my taper. After that I had several good months where I could feel joy and like my normal self again, with some off days in between. Then in March this big wave hit after being ill for a long period, which is still ongoing, although I've had some really good windows along the way. This time it just seems to be taking even longer to stabilise and heal, which can be really frustrating and makes me doubt sometimes. But I know from my own experience and the sweet people over here that stability will return....!! But this phase is really hard. When stabile I will stay on this does for a while and will be going even slower.....

You said Sandnit you resumed your tapper, may I ask at what dose your currently on?

@Bernadette , sure. What I meant is that I resumed my taper after the big wave early last year. I started tapering again from 4.5 mg in the summer and eventually reached 3.6 mg before getting ill. I've been holding at 3.6 mg since around December last year and I'm still at that dose now. During the taper itself I actually felt pretty good. For me it looks like as if things build up over time and then my body needs a longer period to make the adjustments and stabilise again.

Absolutely Sandnit, 3.6 is a lower dose , but remember the lower we are the slower we go to not disrupt things, your doing a great job my friend listening to your body, it always tells us when it's safe to go further. You definitely have a handle on this and are doing great. Slow is the new fast .

Thanks @Bernadette What surprises and makes me doubt the most is how long it is taking me to stabilise again this time. I didn't expect it to take this long, especially after being quite stable for several months. Of course, I am getting into the lower dose range now, so I do wonder if that might be playing a role and whether my body simply needs more time to adjust at these lower doses. Either way, I'm definitely not going any lower until things have properly settled again.

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

Thanks @Bernadette What surprises and makes me doubt the most is how long it is taking me to stabilise again this time. I didn't expect it to take this long, especially after being quite stable for several months. Of course, I am getting into the lower dose range now, so I do wonder if that might be playing a role and whether my body simply needs more time to adjust at these lower doses. Either way, I'm definitely not going any lower until things have properly settled again.

Sandnit, your absolutely correct with the lower, it does take our system more time to stabilise. So holding is probably a good idea until your system settles. I found when I got down to 5mg of citalopram I had to take it slow. You will get there, we just don't want to disrupt what is being fixed. Yes , I know it's quite the process but everyone does heal.

Update: Another rough morning unfortunately. I also woke up really early again today, around 5am, so sleep seems to be getting worse again as well. Come on body, I know you're working hard to stabilise... but man, why are you taking so long?

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

Update: Another rough morning unfortunately. I also woke up really early again today, around 5am, so sleep seems to be getting worse again as well. Come on body, I know you're working hard to stabilise... but man, why are you taking so long?

I know @Sandnit how frustrating but the system has its own rhythm, the more we adapt to it and not the other way around things will be a bit more bearable, work in progress for all of us that's for sure.

Hang in there my friend, better moments just around the corner!

2 hours ago, Sandnit said:

Update: Another rough morning unfortunately. I also woke up really early again today, around 5am, so sleep seems to be getting worse again as well. Come on body, I know you're working hard to stabilise... but man, why are you taking so long?

Hang in there mate. I think often a good thing to do is to commit to not tapering till x month and then check back in with yourself then. Takes the pressure off day to day.

@Chippy Thanks mate, that makes sense. I had already decided that I won't taper again until I've been properly stable for quite some time. I think the harder part for me is still taking the focus off when I will stabilise. When symptoms are strong, my mind keeps going back to that question. So maybe I need to take the whole timeline out of the equation for now and just try to focus on living my life while my system does its work in the background.... Which is easier said than done....but things won't stay like this and will get better

Edited August 3Aug 3 by Sandnit

2 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

Hang in there my friend, better moments just around the corner!

@Fullhealing ..... It's so hard atm but I know better days will come. Thank you so much

@Sandnit , I agree with @Chippy on the aspect of not putting a timeline or exact date on next reduction. As you said just keep living your life in the moment and the body know when it stabilizes, you will get there. I've always reminded myself, the bigger the wave the bigger the window. In a wave Is when the most healing is being done.time is our friend and you my friend will get there

21 hours ago, Sandnit said:

So maybe I need to take the whole timeline out of the equation for now

I think that's a good idea. Timelines are often just another way for us to resist and control rather than allow and accept.

21 hours ago, Sandnit said:

hings won't stay like this and will get better

100%!

Another pretty intense wave day today @Chippy @Bernadette @Fullhealing . I mentioned before that the overwhelming anxiety/fear generally seems less intense than it used to be, which actually felt like progress. But unfortunately I've had a couple of pretty strong anxiety spikes again today on top of that constant uncomfortable "blah" feeling. I immediately catch myself thinking, "damn, I thought I was past these spikes." Trying not to read too much into it though. Just allowing it, not pulling at it and carrying on with my day. But it is hard atm

Edited August 4Aug 4 by Sandnit

2 hours ago, Sandnit said:

Another pretty intense wave day today @Chippy @Bernadette @Fullhealing . I mentioned before that the overwhelming anxiety/fear generally seems less intense than it used to be, which actually felt like progress. But unfortunately I've had a couple of pretty strong anxiety spikes again today on top of that constant uncomfortable "blah" feeling. I immediately catch myself thinking, "damn, I thought I was past these spikes." Trying not to read too much into it though. Just allowing it, not pulling at it and carrying on with my day. But it is hard atm

I'm sorry for the anxiety raging again @Sandnit unfortunately the process is a revolving door of symptoms, some will disappear or weaken significantly only to return at a some point, it's tough I know but in the midst of all this progress and healing occurs.

The only thing that can be done as you wisely wrote, is not to read too much into it, and to carry on.

You got it my friend, keep on 👊

Thanks my friend! @Fullhealing That revolving door description really makes sense. It seems like every time the symptoms come around again, each round feels slightly different somehow. Some things seem less intense, while others suddenly pop back up again, which can really mess with your head and make you question the progress.

So yes, I'm trying not to read too much into every change and just allow it and carry on ...but that is really hard at the moment.... Hopefully this revolving door decides to throw me straight into a nice window for a while soon;)! Better days will come!!