9 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

@SarahMc , sadly the relief was short lived.... But it was there and it does not matter because better days will come... Not fighting it ;)

Whatever comes, you've got this 💪

Short update: this morning is awful again but expected after yesterday..... I hope i get some relief soon.... Its hard. I'm trying to accept and not fight... All part of the process right?

3 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Short update: this morning is awful again but expected after yesterday..... I hope i get some relief soon.... Its hard. I'm trying to accept and not fight... All part of the process right?

I'm sorry @Sandnit all is expected but definitely not desired.. things will get better slowly in time.

Keep moving forward, you are coping great.

Wishing you relief very soon.

Edited July 18Jul 18 by Fullhealing

47 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Short update: this morning is awful again but expected after yesterday..... I hope i get some relief soon.... Its hard. I'm trying to accept and not fight... All part of the process right?

Sorry to read @Sandnit, unfortunately it is all part of the process..... Hope relief comes again soon!

Thanks @Chippy, @Fullhealing and @SarahMc , today is a little less awful and as the day progresses it get somewhat better..... Your encouragement is helping me so much.... You are the best!!

8 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Thanks @Chippy, @Fullhealing and @SarahMc , today is a little less awful and as the day progresses it get somewhat better..... Your encouragement is helping me so much.... You are the best!!

So glad you're better! so brave, keep it up 👊

37 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Your encouragement is helping me so much.... You are the best!!

Right back at you! Glad you’re having a better day.

Last night was actually fairly calm, but my wife became ill during the night, so I ended up having a very broken night's sleep. Despite that, this morning my unease was still much lower than it has been on many recent mornings. Later in the morning it increased again and is now high. I also notice that my anxiety often seems to increase after eating, or a visit to the toilet during a wave. Has anyone else experienced this? Is it a common withdrawal symptom?

22 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

I also notice that my anxiety often seems to increase after eating

with eating specifically, You could have more symptoms after eating due to certain food intolerances or just cause digesting requires more things to do from your nervous system, so you could have more symptoms after eating.

@Lighty , thanks. I think the latter because it does not matter what i eat ......

Today is awful again... pffff. Such a contrast to yesterday evening. Every time I hope the better feeling will stick, and every time I'm disappointed when it doesn't. Maybe the lesson is to stop expecting it to stay and just accept each good moment for what it is.

1 minute ago, Sandnit said:

Maybe the lesson is to stop expecting it to stay and just accept each good moment for what it is.

yeah, generally you want to accept everything, and deal with everything as it is, without being overly emotional about the bad, as we can make it ourselves way worse than it is.

1 hour ago, Sandnit said:

Every time I hope the better feeling will stick, and every time I'm disappointed when it doesn't. Maybe the lesson is to stop expecting it to stay and just accept each good moment for what it is.

I’ve been through this exact issue many times. When I feel better I think I can’t possibly feel that terrible again, and then when the wave comes back I have to deal with crushing disappointment on top of all the symptoms. So now I really try my best not to make any predictions and just take each day/hour/minute as it comes. Easier said than done, but this is all a learning process!

9 minutes ago, SarahMc said:

When I feel better I think I can’t possibly feel that terrible again, and then when the wave comes back I have to deal with crushing disappointment on top of all the symptoms

Exactly this @SarahMc .... And somehow it feels different this time compared to before. At least it's proof that our nervous systems can still move to a better place. Do you also experience swings within the same day, or is it more like a better day followed by a worse day? Or does it all seem random?

The biggest disappointment for me is that I really thought I was stabilizing last week. I've already been holding for six months. In the past, I also had to wait a long time before things stabilized, but after the long stable period I had last year, I never expected to end up in another long wave. Maybe it's because I'm on a lower dose now ?or maybe it's just the way withdrawal works??

I really hope stability returns for both of us

31 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

place. Do you also experience swings within the same day, or is it more like a better day followed by a worse day? Or does it all seem random?

It’s very random for me, no real patterns of any kind. I do get swings within the same day a lot now, though I didn’t as much at the beginning. And ya, I’ll get better days and worse days, but it’s like my overall baseline shifts unpredictably and the margin of better to worse days varies along with it. So like one week a better day will be 4/10 symptoms and a worse day will be 6/10, and then another week a better day will be 6/10 and a worse day 8/10. If that makes sense 😅.

38 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

In the past, I also had to wait a long time before things stabilized, but after the long stable period I had last year, I never expected to end up in another long wave. Maybe it's because I'm on a lower dose now ?or maybe it's just the way withdrawal works??

It’s really hard to say! I’ve definitely seen people say they had a harder time tapering at lower doses. I’ve also seen folks get destabilized by outside factors like life stress or unrelated illness. And sometimes it just seems like a bunch of cuts stack up and your nervous system reacts badly seemingly out of the blue.

But whatever the cause, we know that time brings stability and we’ll both get there.

@SarahMc , yeah it absolutely makes sense......

1 hour ago, SarahMc said:

I’ve also seen folks get destabilized by outside factors like life stress or unrelated illness. And sometimes it just seems like a bunch of cuts stack up and your nervous system reacts badly seemingly out of the blue.

I was ill (serious sinus inflammation) for a long time in jan, feb and part of march earlier this year. I also took nasal sprays .... In this period i didnt have much WD issues..... But i did not taper because of that during this period. In March a wave started untill now with Windows in between. So i think the cuts stacked up and the illness triggered the start of the wave ... But you are right.... It does not matter in the end time will help stabilization.

22 hours ago, Sandnit said:

I also notice that my anxiety often seems to increase after eating,

I found early in WD my emotional symptoms we brought on by eating mate.

21 hours ago, Sandnit said:

Today is awful again... pffff. Such a contrast to yesterday evening. Every time I hope the better feeling will stick, and every time I'm disappointed when it doesn't. Maybe the lesson is to stop expecting it to stay and just accept each good moment for what it is.

Sorry to read @Sandnit I think you are spot on here, just keep your mind grounded in the day and accept what comes up. Definitely the best approach.

6 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Sorry to read @Sandnit I think you are spot on here, just keep your mind grounded in the day and accept what comes up. Definitely the best approach

Thanks @Chippy , i keep thinking that i'm doing something wrong but it is just the process right? Sorry for the repeated question, the time that it takes this time to stabilize makes me so uncertain....

Edited July 20Jul 20 by Sandnit

41 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

Thanks @Chippy , i keep thinking that i'm doing something wrong but it is just the process right? Sorry for the repeated question, the time that it takes this time to stabilize makes me so uncertain....

Pleasure mate, No there is not much we can do, accepting that we are not really in control is hard. Another way to look at it which I may have mentioned before, is that doing nothing is being in control. I think calm calculative choices are the hallmark of a good leader rather than panicked rash ones. Sometimes in life you need to learn to do or say nothing.

36 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

keep thinking that i'm doing something wrong

@Chippy My wife just told me..... The only thing you are doing wrong....is thinking that you are doing something wrong ....hehe

4 minutes ago, Sandnit said:

@Chippy My wife just told me..... The only thing you are doing wrong....is thinking that you are doing something wrong ....hehe

Your wife is wise!

18 minutes ago, Chippy said:

No there is not much we can do, accepting that we are not really in control is hard. Another way to look at it which I may have mentioned before, is that doing nothing is being in control

@Chippy , My mind keeps telling me I should do something because this wave has lasted much longer than I expected. But in reality, I've already made the calm decision to hold and let my nervous system settle.

I guess the hard part is trusting that decision on the difficult mornings like this morning. I'll keep reminding myself that doing nothing in this case is taking control and it's sticking to the plan to keep holding untill things settle.

Also the good days i had last week and the week before where progress right? So something is happening right?

Thanks again mate.

22 hours ago, Sandnit said:

@Chippy , My mind keeps telling me I should do something because this wave has lasted much longer than I expected. But in reality, I've already made the calm decision to hold and let my nervous system settle.

I guess the hard part is trusting that decision on the difficult mornings like this morning. I'll keep reminding myself that doing nothing in this case is taking control and it's sticking to the plan to keep holding untill things settle.

Also the good days i had last week and the week before where progress right? So something is happening right?

Thanks again mate.

You are definitely stuck in a thought loop on this one mate. Your wife and everyone on here tells you are doing the right thing and you can rationalise it factually here on the page, but still you need us to tell you are doing the right thing. I think that speaks volumes. This looping may well be part of the WD, but try to challenge it as much as you can. Acceptance is finding peace through letting go.

@Chippy ,Thanks mate. I think you're right. I normally dont have this only when a wave crosses a certain level of intensity.

I'll keep working on accepting the uncertainty instead of trying to solve it every morning. Thanks again for the reality check. And sorry for rambling..... Its just hard at the moment.